Okay, so I'm sorry for not updating this! I'm, like, REALLY sorry! Anyways, I'm really happy because I'm not longer failing English Honors – yay me! – and that is the main reason I am updating this story. Enjoyyyyyyyyy! :D

By the way, because of the song in this chapter, I had to change the rating xD

Chapter 2

About ten minutes later, Elliot had picked up Olivia at her house and the two were driving to pick up Alex. Olivia looked back and forth from her list to Elliot and back to her list again. I wonder if this will hard to do? Nah. It'll be a piece of cake! Most of us are detectives after all. Olivia smiled. Elliot looked over at her. What the hell is she thinking about? I bet it's about me. Naked. Elliot laughed.

"What are you laughing about, El?" Olivia looked back at him.

"Ummmmm…" Elliot thought for a moment. If I tell her the truth, she'll think I'm self-absorbed. "You. And me. In bed. Naked," he joked.

Olivia blushed. Lucky for her, she felt her phone vibrate. She looked down at it.

"Alex says she's ready. And she wants to know 'When the hell we're gonna get there'," Olivia read.

"Tell her we're about a block away."

(-dun dun-)

Now the three friends are in Elliot's car – Elliot driving, Olivia in the passenger's seat, and Alex in the back seat. They car radio was blaring and they were excitedly talking about their "mission" and the list.

"Do you guys think this is gonna be hard?" Alex asked them.

Elliot laughed.

"What?" she looked at him questioningly.

"You said hard!" He laughed even harder.

"Really? How old are you – twelve?" she exclaimed as she and Olivia rolled their eyes.

"Well actually-" Elliot started.

"Shusssssssh!" Olivia cut him off.

"Huh?"

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" she answered.

Olivia smiled as she turned up the car's radio. The song started out slowly. Then it started, Olivia loudly singing every word.

"Fasten your seatbelts – it's gonna be a bumpy ride"

The beat started to become faster. Alex smiled – she remembered this song!

"What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!
What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!"

Olivia and Alex started getting into singing the song.

"Cut to the chase, come get a taste
I'll tell a bitch straight to her face
Hey Lil Kim get on my nuts
This flow that I spill will make you blush
Up and down and up, up, up
Suck me till I buh-buh-bust
Triple "X" like Vin Di, rocking in my Fendi"

Elliot watched them – he wasn't sure if this was the funniest thing he had ever seen or the most embarrassing.

"Money, bitches, sex, and fame
I'll teach you how to run this game
Katy Perry's on my pole
That bitch gets hot, the she's cold
Can't catch me I'm at the top
Smoke 'em dead I'm cream of the crop
Party on dudes, girlies sending nudes
I just touched your girlfriends boobs!"

As it got to the chorus, Elliot remembered the song, too!

"Jet black diamond hair
People stare, I don't care
Wanna taste? Sure I'll share
Gotta be big, I'll take you there
Glammed up, fabulous
Looking hot, dangerous
So vicious, delicious
I got you fucking like it's fitness!"

The three friends started singing at the top of their lungs.

"What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!
What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!

"You must be out your mind
Slap it up and give me high five
I'm getting rich, I'm looking fit
You can suck my lollipop stick
I'll throw a dildo in grave
Party up and start a rave
Grab your drinks and score your drugs
Pimp your momma at the club…

"You know you want my taste
Stand up congratulate
It's not about the money
It's all about our fans
You made us who we are
Our love goes epic far!"

The chorus came again, and they sung it louder than the last time.

"Jet black diamond hair,
People stare, I don't care
Wanna taste? Sure I'll share,
Gotta be big, I'll take you there
Glammed up, fabulous
Looking hot, dangerous
So vicious, delicious
I got you fucking like it's fitness!

"What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!
What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!

"What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!
What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!"

Every person that drove past them gave them dirty looks. One old lady even flipped them off! Olivia, Elliot, and Alex looked at each other as they sung the next part:

"If you're one of the freaks,
The faggots, the geeks
The savages, the rogues
The rebels, the dissident devils
The artists, the martyrs
And all the fire starters
Break free from this hell
Stand up and rebel
Be proud of being different
Speak loud and admit it
Look hot and dangerous
Be strong when you get dissed
Don't ever forget that
Hater…make…us…famous!"

Now the three friends sung to the people who drove past them.

"What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!
What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!

"What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!
What what! What what!
Throw it up throw it up!
Just don't give a fuck!"

As the song ended, they laughed and Elliot drove into the Walmart parking lot. They drove around for a few minutes, looking if they saw any of their other friends' cars. Deciding the others were already in Walmart, Elliot parked his car. The three friends grabbed their lists and proceeded to Walmart's sliding double doors. Once inside, they looked around.

"Do you guys think they're already here?" Olivia asked them.

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know."

"I'll text Casey and Mel," Alex replied.

"Okay. Tell 'em to hurry up."

(-dun dun-)

Five minutes, Alex still had not received a text from either Casey or Mel. Ten minutes later Elliot had texted Fin and Doc, and fifteen minutes later Olivia had texted Munch, and they didn't respond either. They were getting impatient: Olivia was tapping her foot loudly; Alex was pacing back and forth; and Elliot sighed loudly and checked his watch every ten seconds.

"Let's at least try to get some headway," Olivia told them.

"Elliot, do you know where the condoms are?" Alex asked Elliot.

"I have no clue," he admitted.

"Olivia, if he woulda used condoms, then he and Kathy would not have had so many kids! Duh!"Alex exclaimed, cause the two girls to laugh.

"Screw you!" Elliot's face turned bright red.

"Make sure you use a condom! Cause I don't think Liv wants to be your baby's momma!" They started laughing even harder.

"That was so funny I forgot to laugh." Elliot's voice was full of sarcasm.

"You can always laugh now!" they shouted. They were now laughing so hard they could barely breathe.

"What's so funny?" Fin walked through the doors.

"You guys know you're making a scene, right?" Melinda appeared him, followed by everyone else.

"And the government is watching us!" Munch added.

"Shut up Munch!" everyone else told him. Casey and Doc, who were to his right and left, hit him.

"Damn you!" He gave them a dirty look.

"Hey! We're not here to argue! We're here to complete our mission!" Olivia yelled over everyone else, causing them to receive some looks by the people around them.

"Right!" everyone else agreed.

"Okay. So what's the first thing on the list?" she asked them.

Melinda briefly looked at her list. "Get twenty-four boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking."

"Did you guys find out where the condoms are?" Casey looked at Olivia, Elliot, and Alex.

"Apparently Elliot doesn't know where they are!" Alex pointed to Elliot, who shrugged.

"That's because he's never used them!" Munch commented.

"See! That's what I said!" Olivia gave Munch a high five. Elliot rolled his eyes.

"I bet I'm not the only guy here who doesn't know where the condoms are!" Elliot shot back.

The girls looked at Munch, Fin, and Doc. They responded by shaking their heads.

"Really?" Olivia asked.

"We all know that Doc doesn't even have sex," Melinda said, and the guys tried to hide their smiles. Doc opened his mouth to argue, but Casey beat him to it.

"He does!" Casey insisted.

Everyone looked at her questioningly. "How would you know?"

"Well…" she started, unsure where she was going.

"She's probably speaking from experience," Fin teased.

"I bet they screwed when she made his AIM!" Munch added.

"Well what's your guys' excuse for not knowing where they're at?" Doc changed the subject.

"I don't buy mine from Walmart," Fin told him, and Munch nodded in agreement.

"Munch, when was the last time you even had sex?" Alex turned to him.

"Last year – wait! That doesn't even have anything to do with this! When was the last time you had sex?" he shot back.

"If you want to know it was-" she started.

"Holy crap! No one cares!" Elliot interrupted her.

"Let's go ask someone who works here where the condoms are," Doc suggested, changing the subject.

"Good idea Doc!" Casey agreed, causing him to blush.

"Yeah!" Olivia, Elliot, and Fin agreed.

"I think we should split up. That way, we can find someone and finish the first task faster," Melinda proposed. "Then when we find someone, we can just text each other where the condoms are."

"Okay. Me, Alex, and El will go this way." Olivia pointed to their right.

"Me and Mel will go this way." Casey linked her arm with Melinda's and pointed to their left.

"I guess me, Munch, and Doc will go that way." Fin pointed to the back of the store.

Everyone started walking in their directions. Olivia, Elliot, and Alex were the first ones to find a Walmart employee. He looked at them as if they were crazy when they had asked him where the condoms were.

"Oh God he was hot," Olivia said as he walked away.

"I know! And his name is Daniel! That name is SOOO hot!" Alex agreed.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Let's just text everyone else and tell them where to meet us at."

(-dun dun-)

Three and a half minutes the eight friends met up in the condom section, which was located by the pharmacy.

"How did we not know where this was?" Olivia giggled.

"I don't even know," Casey laughed.

"Oh my God! The dude we found was so hot-" Alex started

"Anyways, what brand are you guys gonna grab?" Elliot cut Alex off.

"Trojan!" everyone answered.

As fast as they could, group grabbed twenty-four boxes of condoms, each different types by Trojan. They decided to meet at the entrance once they had finished their task.

Casey and Melinda were the first ones to grab twenty-four boxes of condoms. Their first victim was an old lady looking through happy birthday cards – they put two boxes of condoms in her cart. They saw a mother that was trying to keep her kids from dropping a glass vase three kids – four boxes for her. They saw a father with a son who looked about fourteen arguing – five boxes for them… Every time they saw a person who wasn't watching their shopping cart, they got a box or two of condoms until there weren't any boxes left.

Olivia, Elliot, and Alex were the second group done. And, of course, Munch, Fin, and Doc were the last group to grab twenty-four boxes of condoms. Both of these groups used the same tactic as Casey's and Melinda's – as they walk, randomly put a few boxes of condoms in the shopping carts of people who weren't looking. Olivia, Elliot, and Alex's first victim was a middle-aged couple. When they noticed the boxes of condoms in their cart, they looked at each other and ran to the bathroom, leaving their things behind; Munch, Fin, and Doc's first victim was a family of four. The younger daughter was the one to find the two boxes of condoms in the shopping cart, and she asked her parents what they were.

(-dun dun-)

Within twenty minutes, everyone was done with the first thing on the list. They were now at the entrance of Walmart, discussing the people whose shopping carts they put the boxes of condoms in. Once they were positive everyone was there, they crossed off the first thing on their lists.

(X) 1. Get twenty-four boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.

Author's Note

In case you didn't know, the song Olivia, Alex, and Elliot were singing on their way to Walmart is called "Looking Hot, Dangerous New Version" by Blood on the Dance Floor. If you didn't like the song, sorry, but I had to put it in cause I'm, like, obsessed with it right now because of my friend Joshie xD

This wouldn't be a CrackFic if Munch didn't talk about the government, right? Wait! It wouldn't be Munch if he didn't talk about the government! :D

Trojan condoms are the only ones that I've heard of, so sorry on the lack of creativity on that.

Omg! I think this is my longest chapter ever (-I think it's because of the song but whatever)! I'm happy now – the only thing that would make me happier would be to get a comment or two(;