After picking up herbs and lollygagging around, Inuyasha—the otaku, and Keiame—the stoned teen, finally made it to Kaede's village. "We're finally here. This is Kaede's village." Inuyasha stated the obvious as a horse trotted pass. Keiame frowned, watching the horse until it was out of her sight. After the third or fourth purple cloud encounter, she decided that she was asleep and that it was all a dream caused by the pot, which she would never try again. "Hey! What are you thinking about? If you don't hurry, I'll leave you behind!" Inuyasha, her guide to this bizarre dream walked away. Sighing, Keiame followed after him.
She stared the people, and in return, they stared at her. Of course she had to be the only one without a kimono. "This must be a historical dream…" she murmured. "This puts a whole new spin on blast from the past." Keiame followed Inuyasha, dog wonder, a few paces until another voice called out to him. The two turned to see a teenage girl running toward them. She wore a school uniform. Green and white were the colors. Keiame furrowed her eyebrows. She had seen the uniform before… "Oh yeah, my school totally kicked that school's ass in basketball." She grinned cheekily at the thought.
"Hey, Inuyasha! Where have you been?" She came to a stop, arms crossed. The new girl appeared to be pouting, or maybe she was angry. "There was a demon outside of the village and we needed your help to defeat it. You're never there when we need you."
"You're cool," Keiame grumbled as she narrowed her eyes at the girl. "Being totally dependent on someone is soooo epic." The girl turned to her, confusion written on her face.
"Hey, who are you?" she asked.
"Kururugi Keiame, the toughest fifteen-year-old girl in Japan. Do not forget my title. I will punch or ignore you if that is not what you call me," was her answer. Hey, if this was a dream, then she mind as well play around. The unknown girl looked a bit uneasy. Keiame rolled her eyes. "Fine, you may call me Keiame-sama, but I will refer to you however I want." The girl only turned to Inuyasha for an explanation. Apparently, the one Keiame gave was a bit too complex.
"A demon was following her, so I stepped in."
The two stared at Keiame. She only looked back at then, raising both eyebrows. "What? Do you want me to say something? Well, fine…! This crap hole is pissing me right the fuck off, and I would appreciate waking up soon." The girl looked sympathetic.
"Please calm down. My name is Higurashi Kagome. I'm in the 9th grade, and this is Inuyasha." Keiame felt her entire face twitch at the information that just entered her ears.
"Like I give a fu-"
"I think you are from the present." Kagome had interrupted, causing Keiame to nearly growl. However, before she could attack the girl, a thought occurred.
"Wait… The present?" Kagome nodded, leading Keiame to believe that she was dealing with morons. There was a big problem with that. The girl clicked her teeth. "First of all, no one can be from the present, only the future or past. Second, I'm obviously from the future. Because all this-" She gestured wildly to the things around her. "-don't exist in my time, which is my present. Dumbass…"
Kagome seriously looked hurt. Keiame rolled her eyes and sighed. "Don't talk to her like that!" Inuyasha stepped in.
"And you! I can't believe you thought she would explain something better than you! She can't explain anything! I bet she's the type of person that repeats what others say!"
"The type of person that repeats what others say…?"
"My point exactly!" Keiame deadpanned. "Listen, could you at least tell me where I am?" The girl perked up a bit.
"You're not in the present." Keiame seriously considered smacking Kagome. "This is feudal Japan. I'm sure it's surprising, but it's true. I couldn't believe it at first either."
"So… in the past, there are demons, huh?" Keiame tapped her chin, thoughtfully. "This is gonna make one hell of a story to tell dad."
"This village is safe. You can stay here for awhile." Kagome gave a friendly smile.
Keiame rolled her eyes at the gesture as Inuyasha protested. Kagome then proceeded to bicker with the demon. She cleared her throat to get them to stop. The girl, belonging to Keiame's rival school, focused her attention again. She then stated that perhaps her transportation to this era will also be the thing that will take Keiame back to the present. She swallowed an insult and the urge to lash out at Kagome for not saying the future. "Fine, let's just go!" Maybe if she jumped into the well, the pain will bring her out of this crazy dream.
Within minutes, the three reached the magical well. Keiame rolled her eyes. Big whoop…! It didn't appear very extraordinary to her eyes. She peered down the hole. It was obviously old. Bones were sticking up out of the ground. Kagome had called it the Bone-Eater's well. What a creative and fun name. Cue eye roll. Inuyasha stated that the villagers used to toss the bodies of dead demons into it.
"Don't say that! You're going to scare them!" Kagome reprimanded the demon.
"Them…? I'm the only one here…" Again, the two bickered back and forth, completely forgetting the reason they came to the well. After they finished, Kagome turned to Keiame with an apologetic expression. And for some reason she did apologized. "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just going to make fun of you for it later."
"What?"
"Bitchsaywhat?"
"What?"
"Haha—every single time."
"Anyway," Kagome continued. Apparently, she still didn't get it. "If you jump in, it should take you straight back to the present." Keiame twitched again, slapping her arm back down. She looked down the well again, trying to decide where to jump so that she wouldn't land on a misplaced bone.
"What are you doing? Hurry up!" Inuyasha roughly shoved her into the well before she was ready. Keiame flailed her arms, but that did little to stop the fall.
A few seconds passed before "Ow… My coccyx…" Keiame groaned in discomfort. Her body had landed quite awkwardly against the cold, hard ground. Her butt hurt, too. She was going to torture Inuyasha whenever the situation presented itself. He was now on her shit list. Above her, Kagome had begun to argue with him again. "Just so you know, I mean, it's not a big deal or anything like that. You might want to get on this right away, but I'M STILL FUCKING DOWN HERE! ARE YOU RETARDS GONNA HELP ME OR NOT?" The ears on top of Inuyasha's head nearly did a flip at her screeching. Keiame grinned. She was definitely going to use that voice on him later on, too. "Push me down a well, will he?"
"Fine, fine, just stop screaming!" Inuyasha jumped down and quickly grabbed a hold of her. Seconds later, she was standing on the green grass again. Keiame stared down at her shoes. Why couldn't she have worn her shit-kicker boots today? It would be the perfect opportunity to use them.
"I don't know why, but you can't seem to get through."
"Why, thank you, Captain Obvious!" Keiame turned to Kagome. "Is there anything else you would like to state?"
"Hm… Well, my skirt's pretty green, right?"
"I'm about to strangle this ho…" Inuyasha merely shook his head at Keiame's flat respond.
"Well, you don't have to be rude about it," Kagome huffed in return. "But I'm sure there's another way for you to get home."
"Yeah, by waking up from this nightmare…" Keiame folded her arms with a scoff. If she kept hanging around this two, she must just catch stupid.
"I think Kaede might be able to help out. We should go see her."
"Kaede, huh…? This person might be great if they named an entire village after her. Fine, let's go see her." Keiame clicked her tongue. "Hopefully she's smarter than these dipshits." She grumbled under her breath.
"What was that, bitch?" Inuyasha had heard her.
"Nothing," she smirked, glad he was finally starting to pick up on her personality. After all, she was contagious. They might turn out better.
0~0
Finally, after pointless conversations with senile old villagers, the group of three made it to Kaede's home. Kagome walked ahead, and then turned to Keiame. "This is Kaede's house," she said. Keiame's eyebrow twitched. Again, Kagome had stated the obvious for the umpteenth time. If Kagome does that one more time, then she might not be able to resist her pimp hand. Suddenly, out of the doorway came an exact replica of Higurashi Kagome. Keiame's eyes grew wide. She sputtered in horror, while pointing a finger.
"There is another one of you?" She grabbed her head and shook. She couldn't deal with another one of these freaks. What did she do to deserve this punishment? God—just wake up already, Keiame thought.
"Kagome's back…!" The voice was slightly different—slightly. It was high-pitched and childlike. It was a bit annoying as well.
"I can't believe she has a twin. This is the worst nightmare I've ever had!"
"Twins…?" The duplicate turned to Keiame with a smile. Chuckling, the clone continued. "What are you saying?" The confused teen only blinked. Inuyasha scoffed and walked over to the copy of Kagome.
"Behave yourself, Shippo!"
"What is he supposed to think when you come out like that?" Kagome asked.
"I suppose to think that all of you are idiots and weed is bad." Keiame's eye twitched. She was getting sick of people calling her a guy. The copy was then enveloped in a white cloud. Out popped a very small child. Her feet were more like paws. And she had a big, bushy tail, too. Keiame placed the back of her hand against her forehead. She was never going to get used to this high.
The little girl—probably a demon by the looks of it—must have thought Keiame needed some type of explanation because she began to explain something about the 'Art of Transformation.' Oh, so now ninja were being thrown into the mix? Keiame mentally rolled her eyes. "This is my nightmare! Why can't I make all of these retards go away?" This acid trip could make a really good story to tell the men in the white lab coats. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, little girl!" She finally interrupted the chatty demon. "My name's Keiame. For your benefit, it would be best to not talk my ear off. I do not like kids—I find them annoying… unless they're cuter than most."
"My name is Shippo and I'm not a girl! I am a respectable man!" The girl was clearly miffed. Keiame made a face before her eyes scanned over the demon's body. She deadpanned again.
"You're wearing a freaking bow."
"Listen, you, I don't care if you are Kagome's friend, I will-"
"Hold on, now, little girl! I ain't this idiot's friend! I wouldn't be if she was the last female on Earth!"
"Hey…!"
"But…" His angry voice faltered. "Didn't she bring you from the well?"
"No."
"Oh, you've got a problem then."
"No kidding, brat." Keiame rolled her eyes. Shippo yelled that he wasn't a kid, and that he should be respected like everyone else. "I don't even respect police officers, there's no way I'm respecting a child."
"Both of you stop it!" Kagome shouted. "We're going to Kaede's house, right?"
"We're already here, you retard," Keiame murmured.
"Cut it out!" Inuyasha nearly hissed. He whacked both Shippo and Keiame on the head. The demon child grabbed his head, screaming. Obviously, it was fake, but Kagome didn't see it that way.
"That's it! Inuyasha, si-" Before the teen could finish, Keiame backhanded the half-demon across the face. "Inuyasha!" Kagome gasped at the sight of the stumbling hybrid. "Keiame, what did you do that for?"
"This asswipe hit me! Of course I'm going to hit him back!"
"I'm gonna kill you!" Inuyasha roared once he came back to reality.
"Bring it on, freak!"
The two were literally pushing their foreheads together, trying to push the other person back. Kagome sighed heavily before calling out the command. Inuyasha plummeted to the group without so much of a warning. Keiame blinked in surprise, and then grinned cheekily. "What a good doggie, you are." Inuyasha grumbled something unintelligible in the dirt.
"This is the power of Priestess Kaede. Come on, let's go talk to Kaede."
"Why do you keep repeating her name? I heard you the first time you said it." Kagome seemed to flat out ignored Keiame's statement and walked into the house. Rolling her eyes, Keiame followed the rest of the freaks in.
Once inside, everyone sat down. Apparently, this Kaede person was an old woman. She didn't look capable of swatting a fly, let alone knowing how to time travel. Keiame sighed mentally, and frowned. Just what she needed—another senile old person. "Judging from your clothes, you must be from the same place as Kagome."
"Uh, no… I don't come from the land of stupid."
"Hey—your comments are really starting to get irritating!" Kagome heatedly exclaimed.
"Well, your voice is already irritating. Please save me from the torture." Keiame's voice was flat, obviously unaffected by the other teen's complaint. Kagome crossed her arms, huffing. "Anyway, yeah, I come from the future." The teen then began to explain how she had gotten traveled to this forsaken hellhole. Her language and tone of voice must have shocked the old woman because she looked startled.
"Please, child, watch ye language. I'm afraid I am not used to such pretty young ladies speaking this way."
"Did… she just hit on me?" Keiame thought. She discreetly scooted further away. "Ah… whatever, I mean… sure." Once she was a safer distance, she finished telling her tale. "So that's what happened."
"I see… So the Bone-Eater's well did not work," Kaede murmured to herself. She was silent for a moment. "Unfortunately, I do not know how you are to get home."
"You mean I'm stuck here? Good God, no!" Keiame held her face in her hands, near tears.
"Oh, I feel for you," Shippo muttered. Kagome nodded in agreement. The teen tried to ignore the urge to lash out at the demon. What's a little kid and an idiot know about what she was currently feeling?
"How irritating," Inuyasha commented. "Why are you so upset?"
"Because I don't know how long I have to be around you freaks! Anyone in my position would be distressed!" Keiame shouted, causing the hybrid to glare at her.
"Don't be so hard on her, Inuyasha!"
"Whatever! It's not like she's gonna die if she can't get home!"
"Yeah, only catching stupid is my main problem."
"You could be a little nicer," Kagome mumbled.
"Being nice isn't going to find the way home," Inuyasha stated.
"That's the smartest thing you've said all day," Keiame commented, causing the red clad demon to glare again. "I agree with him. Besides, it's not like I care what someone tells me." The schoolgirl stood up. "If I'm going to find my way, I need to stop freaking out and actually do something about this… predicament of mine."
"If that is the case, then I suggest ye stay here with everyone until ye can find a way home," Kaede said. Before Inuyasha could begin his protest, Keiame busted out laughing. Her laughter was near hysteric.
Noticing that no one else had joined in, Keiame slowly stopped giggling. She blinked, and then looked at everyone. "Oh, oh—you were serious?" Inuyasha and Shippo nearly growled.
"Wait a minute, Inuyasha. Just like Kagome arrived in this world, this situation is not a trivial matter either," Kaede stated. "If something should happen, then it would be better if you were together."
"This is so annoying…"
"I'm right with you, Inuyasha." Keiame rolled her eyes.
"It's decided then! Keiame will stay with us!" Kagome ignored the loud groan that came from the said girl. "Let's go listen to the village gossip! Maybe we'll find a clue from something we hear." Keiame's left eye twitched.
"Just what I needed—useless gossip from old people. This is the greatest suggestion ever! Nice one, Kagome. You are one smart cookie for thinking about that idea!" The sarcasm in her voice wasn't lost to Inuyasha's ears.
"Well, thank you, Keiame. I'm glad you're starting to see things the right way." However, Kagome did not hear it.
Inuyasha had to hold Keiame back from strangling Kagome.
0-0
