Disclaimer: I don't own Private.
So chapter two…I was thinking the summer might go by kind of quickly but give me ideas for drama during he summer because I have more for during the school year. This chapter will be mostly a flash back. The last one had little snippets but I don't want to confuse anyone. There will be a few chapters like this…it might not be the whole chapter a flashback but quite a bit of it. It is the day of Ariana's funeral…
"Reed you have to get out of bed." Noelle said. She should just shut up. I don't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to lie in bed and feel guilty for being the cause of so many murders.
"No," I said.
"Come on Reed, everyone is going to be there. Josh, Thomas, Cheyenne, Taylor, and Kiran. Everyone. I know it would mean a lot to Ariana if you went to her funeral." Noelle said sounding hurt by my words.
"Well why doesn't Josh come and get me?" I asked. Thomas and Cheyenne weren't dead. Ariana was. Life sucked.
"Because Reed you broke up with him a few days ago. You threw a fit and he called and you said you never wanted to see him again." Noelle said.
"Why would I do that?" I asked.
"I don't know because you have been crazy." Noelle said.
"No because I meant it." I said.
"Reed please just come to the funeral." Noelle said.
"Fine." I grumbled.
I took a shower that lasted probably an hour. Noelle would just have to wait for me. I let the warm water scald my body. I looked at everything in the shower and took it in. Took in what could stop me from living and how lucky I was alive. I changed into a black dress and did my hair in a lazy pony tail. I looked bad and I liked it. I brushed my teeth for a good twenty minutes before Noelle yelled we had to go. I threw on some pumps to small for my feet so I could feel the pain.
"Reed you look good." Noelle said smiling. All I had been wearing were old sweat pants and t shirts that were ripped. She couldn't even lie about those looking good.
"Then I should change." I said.
"Reed no you really look nice." Noelle said.
"Noelle if Ariana isn't still alive to look nice why should I be allowed to look nice." I said.
"Because Reed, she is dead and she wouldn't be happy if she knew you were not living life because of her. Even though she is dead you are alive and you never know how long that will last so you just have to live your life." Noelle said.
"Ok," I said lightening up a bit.
We rode in a limo to Ariana's funeral. She would never be able to ride in a limo again.
She would never be able to go to a party or anything like that again. She was dead.
When we got there Josh looked up and started towards me.
"Hey you look really, really nice." Josh said.
"Thanks." I said flatly. His face fell a little bit.
"Reed I was wondering, I know you said you never waned to see me again but I really miss you." Josh said.
"Ok," I said his face fell more.
"Reed please, I love you." Josh said.
"Ok, I'll give you another chance." I said smiling a little bit. His face brightened up and he put his arm around me. As we took our place I didn't feel anyone else around me.
I felt like I was a single person witnessing a funeral of someone who shouldn't have died. Who was dead because of me. The tears fell as soon as they started to talk. I was slightly aware of faint sobs around me but they weren't heard over mine. I felt pain inside of me and discomfort. I was aware people were around me but it felt uncomfortably alone.
As the service ended I saw more and more people hat were there sharing their sorrows. I was aware of Thomas and Cheyenne. Holding hands. They were a couple now. Noelle was crying with Taylor and Kiran. Josh was holding my hand crying. Ivy was sobbing in her area with Gage and tears were falling from his eyes. Dash was crying and so was Tiffany. Everyone was crying from the loss of a fellow student but I know what some people would say about me because when they don't think I am listening I am when they don't think I can hear them I can.
I have heard many times that I just want attention and normally I wouldn't be caught de in what I was wearing but this was different.
I heard nasty rumors that I know all along she was going to die. That I wished for it because I was jealous. That I was more upset about Sabine but they didn't know anything. They didn't know all of the secrets and all of the stalking. How Ariana tried to push me off a roof. They didn't know anything and they never will because I wouldn't waste my time on them they were stupid.
I heard nasty rumors about Josh cheating when I knew he wasn't. By the way he looked at me when I told him we were back together I knew he wasn't cheating. I knew he would never do that. I heard even nastier rumors about me cheating on him with Dash or Sawyer. Gage or Graham. Thomas. I don't know why people were so mean or how I could have considering I was rested up in bed at all times. I saw people around me start to get up. Josh had left letting me soak it up.
It was just Me, Noelle, Thomas, and Ivy left. I had no idea why Ivy or Thomas would be here. I figured Thomas had once liked her and maybe he feels like it is his fault even though it is mine. Ivy had been hurt by Ariana and it hurt her family but I assume forgiveness happens. Noelle and I were there too and just sitting there watching her scattered ashes dance through the wind living in the moment. It hit me; I had to live my life even if she couldn't. Do something spontaneous. The thoughts danced in my mind until I remembered why I was thinking this. Ariana was dead and I couldn't live with it.
"Can we go Josh?" I asked when I rose from my seat being the last person to leave.
"Of course, do you want to go back to Easton?" He asked.
"I don't know. I feel like I should but everything started there I think I need a week away." I said.
"How about a weekend, this weekend." Josh said.
"Ok take me back to Easton and I will get away this weekend." I said. Josh wrapped his arm around my waist before escorting me to his car. As we got in Josh put his hand on my knee like usual.
I felt sick to my stomach leaving but I knew I had to. I had to leave where she was left. When Josh pulled up to Billings I just got out of the car and walked up without saying goodbye. I heard a faint three words. Eight letters and normally I loved hearing heat but not this time.
I got up to my room and found Noelle.
"Hey Reed, how are you?" She asked.
"Fine," I said.
"No your not, come on Reed like I said, live a little." Noelle said.
"I don't know what's wrong with me but every time I get that idea I feel terrible." I said.
"Don't fell terrible because it isn't your fault. You need to live your life Reed." Noelle said.
"How do I do that?" I asked.
"Do something spontaneous. It is Wednesday and there is a party Friday so let's go shopping tomorrow and get a dress. Get a dress in memory of Ariana and party in her memory. Live our lives in her memory because she would do the same. Because we would want her to and she would want us to. Come on Reed, live your life." Noelle said.
"I'll try it's just hard to be happy and live." I said.
"But think, you have done it before. What about when we thought Thomas was missing and then found out he was 'dead'. Or when everything happened with Cheyenne." Noelle said.
She was right. I was depressed then to. I had to get over it. I had to.
"Ok I will try. Let's just go to bed." I said yawning.
As much as I felt bad for Ariana's death I shouldn't be as depressed as I was with others because Ariana, even though she was insane, tried to kill me. She also tried to kill my boyfriend and at one point supposedly succeeded. She had a psycho sister. But she was dead. I needed so much to get over it and if going to a party and living my life would work then it had too. The thing I didn't get though is why I was so upset about this death more so than others?
I slept that night feeling bad and woke up with an unrecognized fire inside of me. I didn't feel right or myself. I texted Josh we were going shopping. He seemed very surprised but happy that I was getting out.
I took a 15 minute shower letting the water scald my body and brushed my teeth for a good half hour. I picked out a pair of flair jeans and a pink sweater with brown uggs. I curled my hair and I was ready to go.
"Reed, your coming!" Kiran exclaimed.
"Yeah, I guess I just figured I needed to live my life." I said smiling.
Noelle had went to try on dresses first and tried on and endless amount of clothes before settling on an inspiration from within spaghetti strap cocktail dress by Aiden Mattox Niteline. It had spaghetti straps and a sweet heart neckline. It had a fluttering tiered skirt starting at the empire waist with sparkled throughout it. It hit above her knees. It was completely gorgeous, it's white color radiated off of her tan skin and her long brown hair suited it well.
Next Taylor tried on dresses. She got a tied in sweetness spaghetti strap cocktail dress by Faviana. It was blue silk on top and black at the empire waist. The silk blue met in a bow at the bust with a rhinestone finish. It hit above her knees. It looked gorgeous on her. It was different from what Taylor normally wore.
Kiran went next picking out pleased to meet you strapless cocktail dress by Jovani. It was turquoise with a black strip around the waist. It was feathered like on the top and smoother below the black strip. It was kind of crazy but it suited Kiran perfectly. IT hit above her knees.
I tried on an up in smoke spaghetti strap cocktail dress. It was sapphire ruffled kind of at the top with a strap at the empire waist and flared out as it went down. IT hit above my knees. It was gorgeous and the color was extremely vibrant. It went great with my long brown hair.
It was off to get shoes.
Noelle ended up getting platform shoes that were really high. They were sliver and had a clasp around the ankle that had diamond strands going down it. They matched her dress perfectly.
Taylor ended up getting simple high heeled pumps that were black and shiny. They matched her dress perfectly.
Kiran had gotten a very high heeled shiny black shoe with the full front covered and tied up. They were wild.
I got a pair of silver shoes that had a design of straps near the toe and clasped at the ankle. The heel was really thin and very hard to walk in but I would manage.
The rest of the day went by with me feeling more and more awkward each minute. When I finally went to bed I hoped I would feel normal in the morning because I wasn't sure if I liked the fire inside of me. When I woke up he fire was burning stronger. I heard Cheyenne downstairs crying. She had a fight with Thomas.
The time until the party flew by and before I knew it I was dressed and ready. Josh had come with all of the boys to escort us their. When we arrived there was dancing and drinking. I had a few drinks but not many.
"Reed I think we should head back, the party is getting out of control. I think campus police is going to show up." Josh said. I don't know what it was inside of me but it came out.
"No Josh, if you want to fine but I won't, in fact I am going to dance with someone." I said dancing over to where Thomas was. I heard Josh calling my name but I didn't really here. The crazy thing inside of me wanted to come out.
Next thing I knew Josh was leaving tears in his eyes. I was dancing with Thomas. I was leaving with Thomas. I was kissing Thomas. I was in his bed just kissing. Josh walked in.
"Reed," he whined. I kissed Thomas more then said good bye to him and walked past Josh. He chased after me. He chased and chased and chased. Thomas was drunk.
He called me the next morning and apologized. The fire was out of me and I was crying. Cheyenne understood but how could I even talk to Josh. How could I even face him? I got up to look out the window. He was sitting on a table laughing with Ivy.
I cried harder and I felt normal because the fire was gone but a new fire had come out. It was my fire for Josh. Ivy wasn't going to get away with this and neither was Josh. HE was mine.
I woke up with a fright. Tears in my eyes, how could I treat Josh like that? What was wrong with me? Why did he always understand?
I felt so bad for what happened that night and others like it but it was morning and we were headed off to Paris.
Josh didn't know that every time I dreamed the dream about Ariana I had this dream which I wish was just a dream but it wasn't. It was a horrible terrible memory.
How many other times do you think this has happened?
I decided that it will be a rare occasion and only big events will be like a dream as the full chapter but I thought this suited it.
How do you think Josh felt when he saw Reed?
Do you think he understood right away?
How long before they are back to how they are now?
What is Reeds school surprise?
Do you know if Easton has any school colors because I need to know for a reason…
