A/N: Okay kids. Here's the next installment. Thank you to all who have commented and even those of you who haven't. It's nice to know that people are enjoying. Hopefully you'll like this next bit. I did read through it but I'm so tired (working 7 days a week will do that to a person) so please forgive me any errors.

2. he's the air i would kill to breathe

When Beverly woke the next morning she immediately felt her body's protests about how she'd chosen to sleep the night before. The lumpy cushions beneath her caused her head, her neck, her back…her everything to ache. She silently cursed both the couch and her body. As she stretched in an almost wasted attempt to loosen her muscles, her hand hit something that was soft yet firm.

"What the…" she started to say as she turned her tired eyes. An amused smile immediately emerged on her face as she realized what she'd struck. Leaning closer, she took in his strong features. They seemed gentler when he was relaxed. She drank them in, knowing she didn't have many opportunities like this one.

She promised herself she'd just look but after a few seconds she couldn't help herself. Reaching over, she brushed her fingertips across his cheek. He leaned into her touch and sighed contentedly which in turn made her smile brighten.

"Jean-Luc," she whispered. "Wake up, sleepy head."

He stirred slightly then placed his hand over hers. It was warm and inviting. She couldn't stop the shiver that shot up her spine. After stroking his thumb over the top of her hand a few times he murmured to her in French.

Her eyes narrowed in concentration. It had been quite a while since she'd heard or spoken French. After a few failed attempts she realized he was asking for more time. She laughed.

"Jean-Luc," she said again.

Her soft voice sounded so close despite the haze that surrounded him. He spun, searching for her…reaching for her. But she kept dissipating into the fog around him. Suddenly he felt something soft brush across his skin. Not willing to let it escape, he quickly trapped it with his own hand. With his other, he reached out for her again, expecting cold vapor but hoping for warmth. To his surprise, he connected with warm flesh. He gasped and forced his heavy eyelids apart. The sight before him was a beautiful dream. He smiled.

"Bonjour," she said. "Ça va bien?"

He blinked up at her several times before his smile was replaced with a confused scowl.

"Or perhaps not so good," she teased. Using her free hand, she traced the wrinkles his frown formed. "Come on, it can't be that bad waking up next to me." She laughed as his scowled deepened. "And I thought I was a bad morning person. Come on, I'll fix some coffee." Lifting herself off the couch, she stretched again.

His eyes followed the lines of her body. They were as magnificent as he remembered. In fact, they could be even more enticing now than when he first met her.

"Jean-Luc?" she asked, leaning toward him. "Are you okay?"

He cleared his throat and looked up at her with a smile. "Yeah." He shook his head. "I'm just a little slow to wake up today I suppose," he said with a short chuckle. "I guess I'm getting a little old to be spending the night on the couch."

She laughed and nodded her head.

"Here, let me help with breakfast," he said as he stood and followed her into the kitchen.

They had breakfast ready and on the table by the time a sleepy Wesley wandered downstairs complaining about being hungry. The three of them sat down and ate breakfast while discussing what they could do for the day. Once breakfast was over, Jean-Luc stood to help Beverly as Wesley ran upstairs to get ready for the day, which was ultimately spent exploring everything and anything.

In the following days nothing much changed about their mornings with the exception of Beverly waking up on the couch with Jean-Luc. Their relationship transformed into an easy routine. Jean-Luc was surprised when he realized he'd really come to depend upon it. It brought forth a feeling of tranquility that he'd never experienced before. And he found he didn't want to leave its warm embrace. It was so simple and comfortable. Two things he never thought he'd want in his life.

After they'd woken for the day, they'd fix breakfast. When everything was prepared they'd sit down like a family to eat and discuss their plans for the day. Then they'd go off in their separate directions only to meet once again for dinner. After dinner Jean-Luc and Wesley would help with the dishes before the trio settled in the living room by the fire until it was bedtime.

The house would fall silently into darkness until the nightly shriek would ring into the air. It was like hearing the red alert klaxons for Jean-Luc, sending him in a full sprint to the little boy's room where he would see Beverly already curled around her son.

The two would comfort him and soothe him as best they could. But night after night Wesley still awoke with terrifying dreams. Sometimes they would calm him a few minutes then share a cup of tea. Other times it would take hours and each would barely make it to their beds before they'd passed out.

It was a tiresome process and they endured the best they could. But eventually it began to complicate their otherwise peaceful existence. Wesley was the one thing they fought about often. Jean-Luc wanted Beverly to do something to force Wesley to talk about his nightmares. And Beverly, having already talked to dozens upon dozens of doctors and specialists as well as being one herself, wanted to wait until Wesley was ready to talk about them. So as not to traumatize him further, she repeatedly explained.

Beverly either won every argument or at least put a stop to it until Jean-Luc got upset enough to bring it up again.

But despite the minor day-to-day conflict and general lack of sleep, Jean-Luc loved being there with Beverly and Wesley. He loved seeing her face first thing in the morning and the last thing before he went to bed. He loved spending time with her. He even loved getting to know Wesley. In actuality, the biggest surprise to him was how much he enjoyed the young boy's company. He found they could spend hours putting together puzzles or playing games.

There was really only one thing that he regretted about this new situation. The stars. No matter how fulfilling his time with Beverly and Wesley were, he occasionally found himself staring up into the sky late at night and wondering what he'd be doing that exact moment if he were in space.

So as the date of his imminent departure grew nearer, he became more and more conflicted. Though he did miss his stars, he started to fall into a deep depression over leaving. Beverly of course recognized the change in his demeanor and knew why. Determined not to let him wallow in his guilt or sadness for leaving, she tried her hardest to lessen it as best she could. But she could only do so much.

Then all of the sudden it was the afternoon before Jean-Luc was to leave. Emotions were high and tense in the house so as a surprise, Beverly decided to take a half-day off work. She even picked Wesley up early from school, hoping it would lighten Jean-Luc's spirits. But when she got home she was stunned to find Jean-Luc had all but disappeared. She called and checked everywhere he could be but found nothing. As the realization sunk in her heart sank.

He'd done it again.

He'd snuck out without saying a thing. To her or to Wesley. The familiar feeling didn't sit well with the doctor. As the empty minutes passed she became angrier and angrier until she decided it was time to give Jean-Luc Picard a piece of her mind.

After sending Wesley up to his room to play, she made her way to the study. Just as she sat down to her computer the front door opened. Curious as to who would be letting themselves in at this time of day she got up to investigate. The sight she found in her foyer surprised her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was under the impression that I was a guest," he answered with a flicker of sarcastic humor. "But if I misunderstood I can…"

"I thought you left."

His eyes softened. "I'm sorry," he said as he carefully approached her. "I wanted it to be a surprise. But as it turns out, cashing in some favors took a little longer than I expected."

"Favors?"

He nodded. "It looks like you're going to be stuck with me for a few more weeks. That is, if it's okay with you. If you have other plans I can stay with someone else or at headquarters or there's always Walker…"

"Don't be ridiculous," she said. "You're welcome to stay here. You always are." She smiled and took several steps toward him. Then without thinking it fully through, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I'm glad you're staying," she whispered into his ear.

"Me too," he murmured back.

That night no matter how much she tried Beverly couldn't keep the smile from her lips. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what made her so happy about him staying but she knew it made her heart beat a little faster. She hadn't realized just how much she enjoyed his company until it was time for him to leave. Now he was going to be here for a while longer…implanted into her daily life.

He was staying.

And stayed he did. Suddenly a few weeks became a month and a month became two. As they were approaching the third week of the third month, Jean-Luc got a priority one call from Starfleet. He and Beverly shared a tense look for a moment before he went to take it.

"I'll just be a moment," he said as he handed the dinner dishes to her. "Please start without me."

Beverly finished setting the table and served Wesley then stared at the study door.

"Mommy?" Wesley asked with a mouth full overflowing with mashed potatoes.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she responded absently without looking at him.

Wesley nodded then chewed and swallowed his potatoes. "Mommy?" he asked again.

"What is it, Wes?" she asked with a sigh.

"How come you look mad?"

Her features softened as she finally tore her eyes from the door. "I'm not mad, honey," she said, turning to her son with a smile.

"You look it. As soon as the 'puter said Starfeet, you got mad."

"It's Starfleet. And I promise I'm not mad, sweetie," she responded with another smile. She reached over and gently cupped his cheek. "Now eat."

Wesley shrugged his shoulders and nodded then began to eat the rest of his dinner. Several minutes later when Jean-Luc exited the study, Beverly just knew. It was time to let him go. She attempted a smile then nodded her head. Her eyes moved to Wesley then back to Jean-Luc.

"We'll talk about it later," she said.

Jean-Luc nodded sadly then sat down at the table and silently ate his meal.

Several hours, two puzzles, and three stories later Wesley was put in bed. Once he was tucked in for the second time an hour later, Beverly walked into the living room. The fire blazed warmly in front of her. She inhaled the smell of the smoke and burning wood then released it slowly.

"They want you back, huh?" she asked gently.

"Is Wesley okay?"

She sighed. "Another dream." As she bit her lip, she waited but the inevitable agreement to her question didn't come. "You didn't answer my question."

His shoulders slumped as he exhaled slowly. "Yes. I'm afraid they want me back."

Nodding, she moved to sit next to him. "Is it selfish of me to not want you to go?" she asked as she stared into the fire.

He chuckled softly and opened his arm so she could snuggle up to his side as was their custom. "Not as selfish as me wanting to stay."

"How do you figure that?" she asked, turning her head to look up at him.

"I have an entire starship of people who are depending on me and yet I don't care. There's nothing I want more than to stay here." He laughed. "I never thought I would ever say something like that."

"The great Captain Picard…domesticated." She turned her face toward his chest and breathed in his scent.

He laughed again. "Yeah," he sighed.

"So when do you leave?" When he hesitated, she looked up at him. She immediately knew why he'd remained silent. "Next week."

"Yeah…I'll have to…"

She nodded her head quickly so he wouldn't continue. As she bit her lip, she looked away from him. Her breath shook as she exhaled.

"Are you able to stay until after…"

"I will be here, Beverly," he answered solemnly. "I made sure I'd be here. I'm not leaving you alone on…"

"Okay," she interrupted quietly. "Thank you."

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into an embrace. His whole being engulfed her, lulling her into a false sense of security. She sighed. Watching him go was going to be more difficult than she thought it would be.

Several days later Jean-Luc came home with a wide smile. He walked up to her in the kitchen and kissed her cheek as she stirred something that smelled delicious on the stove. Her mouth formed a surprised grin as she turned to look at him.

"Now what has you in such a good mood?" she asked as she wiped her hands on a dish towel. "And what was the kiss for?"

"I just got some good news."

"Oh?"

He nodded his head. Suddenly as he remembered one of his surprises, he straightened up and brought his arm from behind his back. He stretched his hand out toward her. "These are for you."

"Flowers? For me?" she said taking them from him. "Why?"

"For being a lovely host these last few months. Just a small token of my gratitude."

"Oh Jean-Luc. You didn't have to."

"But I wanted to. Soon I'll be on a starship so…"

She nodded her head sadly. "Well thank you. They're lovely."

"So, about my good news."

Her heart pounded as she walked to the sink. She wasn't sure if this good news would be as good for her as it was for him. As the water slowly filled the vase in her hands, she ran through a list of things he could possibly tell her.

"Beverly?" he asked when he noticed her attention drifting.

"Yeah?"

"Don't you want to hear my news?"

"Of course," she answered with a hint of dread evident in her eyes.

"They pushed back the mission. So I'll be able to stay a week longer than anticipated."

She had to smile at his boyish enthusiasm. "That's wonderful, Jean-Luc," she managed to say.

Though she was happy he could stay longer, in the end it didn't really make much of a difference in her heart. He would still be leaving. But she could never say that to him, especially when he looked so excited. So she smiled and hugged him, determined to make the best of the time she had left.

All three enjoyed their extra time together as best they could. But once again the clock became their enemy. Soon Beverly and Wesley would have to say goodbye and Jean-Luc would have to return to his rightful place among the stars.

As the days passed, time also brought forth a new challenge. Neither Beverly nor Jean-Luc mentioned it. Neither was really sure what was okay to say…or really what to say at all. So as a result their days began to slowly fill with silenced tension.

On the morning time could no longer be silenced, she woke quietly. It seemed no different than any other day but she knew it was. With a long sigh, she went to Wesley's room and started getting him ready for their excursion.

At breakfast their eyes rarely met. The clank of the forks and the slight crunch of food interrupted the silence but that was the only noise in the room. Even the young boy sat solemnly in his seat with his head bent.

As soon as everything was eaten, Jean-Luc rose from his seat and cleared the dishes as he'd done for the past few months. It was the only thing he could think to do. He kept thinking about how much he wanted to disappear down the drain as he rinsed the dishes. He shut his eyes; this was so difficult.

His heart sank.

This had to be even more difficult for her. He looked over to the table to see her sad blue gaze on her son. They spoke quietly. As Wesley said something in a whisper, she smiled delicately.

A moment later she reached over and ran her fingers through his hair then leaned in to kiss his forehead. She smiled and tried to soothe the worried look from his face. After another pass of her hand through his hair and another kiss she got up from her seat and held out her hand.

"You ready?"

He looked up at her. A moment of hesitation loomed between them before he nodded his small head. He took her hand and stood.

"Alright," she said softly. "Let's get you bundled up. It's cold out there."

She glanced toward Jean-Luc before she left the room, with the hopes he'd be looking in her direction. Though his body was angled toward her, his eyes were cast down. "Come on, Jean-Luc, ask," she silently urged. When his eyes remained glued to the floor she sighed and left the room.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel her stare on him. After these few months he had become so aware of her presence that she almost felt like a piece of him. It didn't matter what he was doing, the moment her eyes were on him he felt it. It was unnerving. And for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why it was occurring.

A few seconds later, the sound of her voice broke him from his musings. A short laugh erupted from his mouth; he could tell exactly what she was doing. She was stalling…for him. Waiting for him to make up his mind. In his heart, he knew she wanted him to come as much as he wanted to go.

With a long sigh he walked toward her voice. Coming to a stop several paces from the pair he took a moment to observe her. As she crouched down in front of her son, she spoke softly while winding a scarf around his neck. When she reached over and picked up his coat from the floor next to her she inhaled deeply then smiled. She knew Jean-Luc would come to his senses.

"Be safe," he said in a hoarse voice.

The smile disappeared as she sighed in frustration and closed her eyes. Three short seconds later she cleared her throat. "Will you go with us?" she asked as she looked up from buttoning Wesley's coat.

"Do you want me to come?" he asked, surprised at her forwardness.

"Jean-Luc, you were his best friend." Another sigh emptied from her chest.

"I know but that doesn't mean…"

"I want you to come," she interrupted as she stood.

"Okay," he responded with a pause, "then I'll come."

Beverly smiled and nodded her head then walked silently out the door. As she moved toward the car, he followed closely behind her and took the driver's seat when he saw her walk to the other side of the vehicle. Once everyone was buckled in, Jean-Luc started the car and started driving to their destination.

They rode silently down the twisting road. It was gray and cold. Much cooler than it should have been for early spring. Frost clung to the air with its last breath, refusing to let color back into the world.

When the car stopped, the three got out and began to climb up the hill. The air seemed even thinner and harsher at the top. It cut like a knife as the breeze kissed over them. Beverly looked down at her son and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Go ahead, Wes."

He looked up to his mother, confusion in his eyes.

"Go and talk to your dad. Jean-Luc and I will stay here."

His little brow furrowed. "What do I say to him?"

Beverly bent down in front of the six-year-old and smiled. "You say whatever you want, honey. Tell him about school. Tell him about your puzzles. Tell him about your dreams. Okay?"

After a moment of contemplation, his face relaxed. "Okay," he said. "And you won't listen?"

She shook her head. "No I won't listen. This is just between you and your dad."

Wesley nodded. "And you won't listen too?" he asked Jean-Luc.

"I promise I won't," Jean-Luc responded, holding up his hand as if taking a solemn oath.

The two adults watched as the little boy walked toward the headstone. When he reached it his little hand stroked the top of the stone as he spoke quietly. Every now and then the breeze would carry a few words or phrases in their direction but they were both true to their word and didn't listen.

"What do you think he's saying?" Jean-Luc asked her after a few minutes.

"I don't know," she answered with a wistful smile. "They always had their own special language and understanding. Even when Wes was a baby. They were in their own little world."

"That must have been lonely for you." He stared at her profile as her flaming hair danced around her face.

"I had my medicine, my research, my patients. And I never doubted they loved me."

"Did you love him?"

"Jack?" she asked without looking at him.

"Yeah."

"Of course I did."

"More than…" He stopped abruptly once he realized his assumption.

"More than what?" she asked.

"Nothing."

Turning toward him, she looked at his strong profile. "More than who, Jean-Luc?"

"Nevermind," he said quickly. "I wasn't thinking."

She stared at him for a few moments then decided she really didn't want to know the rest of his statement. With a sigh she turned back to see Wesley running back to them. She knelt down and opened her arms. Wesley ran directly into them.

"What's the matter, baby?" she asked as he turned his tear stained face into her neck. She stroked the back of his head and looked up to Jean-Luc who only shrugged. "Wesley? What's the matter? Why are you so upset?"

"It's not the same," came his muffled reply.

"Not the same as what?"

"When he was here." He sniffled and tightened his arms around her neck.

Her heart broke. "Shhh," she hushed into his ear. "It's okay, Wes." Lifting him, she rocked him back forth and tried to calm him. "Why don't you go," she said to Jean-Luc. "We'll be fine."

Jean-Luc looked at her for a long moment then walked off toward the grave of his best friend. Once he was there he walked the perimeter a few times and tried to think of what to say. When he finally opened his mouth, the words flowed freely.

"Hey Jack, it's me. It's been exactly a year since your…" His voice faded off as he shook off the words. Death. It still stung at the back of his throat. "I'm sorry, Jack." He bent his head and placed his hands on the cold stone. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. And I'm sorry for…for being here…with them…with her when you can't."

He looked back toward Beverly and Wesley. Wesley was still clinging to his mother but Jean-Luc could tell he was beginning to settle down. He smiled sadly.

"They're remarkable," he continued, "but I'm sure you know that already. I can't help but…" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you about this."

The remainder of his time was spent in silent repentance. There was so much to say…so much for which he should apologize. But he didn't know how to explain the pull he felt toward Beverly. The guilt settled in his gut as he stood at the foot of Jack's grave and stared at the inscribed headstone. Without another word, he turned away and returned to Beverly and Wesley.

"All done?" she asked as he approached.

He nodded. "If you want to go, I'll stay with Wes."

"Thank you," she replied as she handed the now peacefully sleeping Wesley to him. "I'll just be a moment."

As she walked into the distance, he watched. Tension settled in his stomach as the conflict over his predicament rolled in waves over him. It was wrong. He knew it.

But he couldn't help it.

Not too long later, she reappeared at his side. He could tell she'd been crying. Her eyes were slightly puffy and bloodshot but he didn't mention it, knowing if she wanted to talk about it, she would. With a nod, he motioned to the car with his head. She nodded in response then followed him down the dirt path.

The rest of the day was quiet. They'd laid Wesley down for a much-needed nap as soon as they returned to the house then settled in the living room. After he'd lit a fire, she turned to him and drew in a breath.

"Thank you for coming today."

"You're welcome."

"And thank you for being here these past few months. Your presence has been such a comfort. I don't know what I would have done without you." She smiled.

"You would have managed," he replied. "You always do."

"I know. But it's nice to not have to be so strong all the time. It's nice to have someone to lean on occasionally. So thank you." As if to demonstrate, she leaned toward him. After placing a gentle kiss on his cheek she relaxed against him.

He breathed in slowly, savoring the feel of her lips on his flesh. With a sigh he turned his head toward hers. "Come with me."

"What?" she asked, pulling back and focusing her eyes on his.

"This mission isn't dangerous. Come with me."

"I can't, Jean-Luc. My work…Wesley…"

"Take a break from your work here. I know for a fact you haven't taken one since…" His eyes clouded for a moment before he shook the haze away.

"Jean-Luc, they'll never let me on a starship. Especially with Wes."

"What if it's a temporary reassignment? My chief medical officer is taking a sabbatical for a few months. I could use someone of your caliber on my ship while he's gone."

"And what about Wesley? I can't just leave him here."

"Wesley could use a change in scenery. Don't you think?" His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her. "Besides, I have a few more favors I can cash in," he answered confidently.

Her brow creased. "Those must be some serious favors." She stared at him as he simply smiled at her. "You aren't seriously…"

"Beverly, come with me." He grinned innocently. "If it helps I've already cleared it with Admiral Mira."

She arched her eyebrow at him. "That was rather presumptuous of you."

"He mentioned you'd inquired about bringing families aboard starships." He paused for a brief moment then winked at her. "Were you considering taking a starship posting and smuggling Wesley onboard?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Then why were you asking?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to kill that man." When he failed to respond to her threat against the head of Starfleet Medical, she groaned. "It thought it might help."

"Help what?" he asked before the question had time to process in his brain. As the thought caught up he nodded his head knowingly. "The nightmares."

"Yeah. I suspect that they have to do with space and starships. Especially since these dreams didn't start until after Jack died. His refusal to speak about them and Jack only confirms those suspicions."

He smirked at her analysis.

"What?"

"Perhaps I should also send my counselor on sabbatical. It sounds like you could also handle those duties as well as those of command. I get three highly trained officers for the price of one."

"Stop it," she chided. "We all have to take basic psych classes at the academy and in med school. And you can thank Walker for those infernal command courses."

"He saw your potential, Beverly. Take it as a compliment. I know it was intended as one. Walker doesn't stick his neck out for just anyone. Not even me or Jack…at least when it comes to Starfleet." He saw her look of shock. "Don't look surprised. You're his prized student. In fact, I think he was grooming you to be his CMO. Too bad I got there first. Right?"

"You're incorrigible." She shook her head.

"Say yes."

She groaned and shut her eyes.

"Please Beverly. You already have it in your mind or you wouldn't have asked Mira about it. So please, make me the happiest captain in Starfleet and be my chief medical officer."

A slight smile peeked on to her face as she let out a long sigh. "How could I refuse a proposal like that?" She shook her head.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yes," she whispered.

He smiled brightly then stood and pulled her up with him. His arms wrapped so tightly around her that she could barely breathe. Yet she'd never felt more content in her life. After a few moments of drinking in the feel of him she pulled back.

"But you're telling Wes," she said with a mischievous look in her eye.

She laughed at his bewildered look then pulled him back into another hug. He groaned at her teasing but once his face was out of her line of sight a huge smile broke out on his lips. This was certainly going to be an adventure he'd never forget.

TBC…