Interfusion

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. I should think that rather obvious with my college-induced poverty and all.

Warnings: Slight spoilers for the '07 movie, Implied Character Death, Onesided Bee/Sam

AN: There's a poll for this story in my profile.


Death is a frightening thing. Incomprehensible. Unknowable. Permanent. It is a human constant, a universal constant really. Everything ever born or created will one day cease to exist, fade into nothingness. Humans live on a timer, life flying by in a whirlwind of color and sound.

It is a fact that Sam accepted, something that both did and did not bother him. A certainty that he had always known. That one day, inevitably, he would lose all the people he loved.

Miles was the first to go, though not in the way Sam had imagined. He simply couldn't take the truth about his best friend's Camaro or the universe in general, leaving Tranquility and Sam behind with a demand not to be contacted.

Ron Witwicky was next, a victim of bad genes and circumstance. Dead from a heart attack less than a year after the events of Mission City. And his wife might as well have died with him, now a virtual ghost of herself.

He supposes it was then that Bumblebee started to comprehend, that reality began to sink in. But it wasn't until Mikaela, wonderful Mikaela, that he completely understood how fragile his human charge was or just how little time they really had.

A car accident. That's it. That's all it took. She could survive juvenile detention and Decepticons and moronic government officials, but she couldn't live through that.

And Sam could practically feel Bee's horrified realization.

What came next was unexpected but not all that surprising. Sam knew immediately that his… transformation was no accident, not a glitch of fate or random chance. But he kept his silence, unwilling to voice his fears out loud. Just as loyal in his own way as Bee.

And now…

It's tiresome. It hurts to watch the people he loves age and die while he remains exactly the same, unchangeable in his changed form. But he can deal with it. He has dealt with it. And his apparent immortality isn't the real point; that's not the problem.

Choice. He had no choice in the matter. Not really.

In a way, he did choose. He chose when he first sat in an old clunker of a Camaro. When he brought Bumblebee home and wanted him to stay even after the truth came out, even after Mission City. When the world was coming down around him and a yellow mech was all he could see in the chaos. When he shoved the Allspark into Megatron's chest, his mind filled only with thoughts of Bee.

However, what he chose, what he wanted, isn't what he ended up with. He can live with this… live with what has happened to him.

What he can't live with are the lies. The deceit and the trickery. If Bee had asked, he would have done it gladly, without hesitation or regret. But Bee didn't ask. He took and forced and twisted for his own ends. He used Sam's faith in him, his complete trust.

He loves Bee. Sam really and truly does, only not the way Bee loves him. He might some day. Maybe his feelings will shift, become what Bee wants between them. But that day isn't today.

There were and still are a million smiles and countless laughs, and there will be innumerable more. There are over a dozen new friends and more arriving all the time, more left than they ever imagined. There is chess with Prowl. Music and dancing with Jazz. Pranks and subsequent wrench throwing with the twins and Ratchet. Crazy inventions and explosions with Wheeljack. Optimus. Ironhide. Bluestreak. Blaster. All the others.

But under it all is a growing tension. A shadow that touches everything. A stain that can't be covered, glaringly obvious for all to see. A dark knowledge that lingers in every interaction. And it chills him in a way that nothing else ever has, not even when he stared death in the face.

Sam knows that he can live with forever. He just can't live with Bumblebee.


Ever Hopeful,

Azar