A/n: Okay y'all, recently we were FLAMED by the ever so philanthropic FlameRising. As some people may now, he/her obviously has no creative writing skills of her own so she takes out her despair by criticizing wonderful and talented authors in the making. It's because of people like him/her that many of the future best selling J.K. Rowling's or Stephenie Meyer are too intimidated to even pick up a pencil and write. I say, well, technically WE say, we need to overthrow this so called FlameRising and stand up for ourselves!!! WHO'S WITH ME?!?!?!?! Or… us…
As many people would take a flaming hot review and shrivel up and never write again, we have taken this tragic event to heart and decided…
IT'S WONDERFUL INSPIRATION!!!
So, this chapter, entitled FLAMES, is dedicated to FlameRising… and we may think, it is our best chapter so far…
Thank you FlameRising… -sobs happily- Thank you…
Chapter Two
FLAMES
Shea: Edward! Someone flamed you!
Edward: Huh?
Mauri: They flamed you! They said you were a piece of ----!
Edward: -gasp-
Emmett: At least they didn't LITERALLY flame you… that wouldn't be pretty… -winces at thought-
Shea: Yeah, that would kinda hurt…
Mauri: Just a little…
Alice: EDWARD STAY AWAY FROM CANDLES!
Edward: -panicked- Why…?
Alice: -nervous- nothing, just precautions…
Edward: Why are you reciting Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat in Russian?
Alice: None of your beeswax, go away… -stomps off to corner where she whips out Dr. Seuss and reads rapidly-
Edward: Should I be scared?
Mauri: Um… no?
Shea: Well, considering the fact that we're the authors of this little story and we can do what-EVER we want to you… yes, you should…
Emmett: We should be scared? Why?
Shea: Because we can do whatever we want, like… for example…
Alice: EDWARD HIDE YOUR VOLVO!!!
Edward: Oh no, what about my Volvo?
Alice: Run Edward Run!
Edward: What happened? Why are you yelling? Does my Volvo die?
Alice: …
Mauri: It may have some SLIGHT modifications…
-BANG-
Edward: -freezes in terror- What. Was. That.
Mauri: It MAY or may NOT have been your Volvo exploding into flames in your driveway because Shea felt the need to play with matches and wanted to see what would happen if she threw a lit match into the gas tank…
Edward: -falls on knees and rips out hair- NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mauri: For some odd reason, seeing you in this depressed state somehow makes me feel unusually happy. –Wipes away tear of happiness-
Shea: -walks in with no hair and singed eyebrows- WOW.
Mauri: And you call ME the pyromaniac…
Edward: -tearless sobs- WHY? Why me?! Why my wonderfully shiny Volvo?
Shea: You and your Volvo… honestly, it's like it was your lifeline.
Edward: -glares- Nothing compares to the joy I felt when I was in that Volvo…
Bella: -pops out of no where- NOT EVEN ME?! Edward, we are SO over… I'm leaving… -Stomps out and trips over air-
Bella: OW! –gets up- Okay, I'm leaving… NOW. –runs into door-
Shea: This is fun!!! –plots to make Bella fall down stairs and DIE-
Mauri: -gasp-
Edward: do you honestly have fun torturing poor Bella?
Mauri: Maybe???
Shea: MUAHAHAHA!!!
Bella: -rubs nose- Okay, that's it… I'm leaving, and nothing will stop me! –Runs into Emmett-
Emmett: Whoa, where you going?
Bella: Nowhere. –passes out-
Emmett: Whoops?
Shea: -laughs insanely- good job Emmy-bear! –holds up hand for high five-
Emmett: -backs away- I think I'll pass on that…
Mauri: Good idea.
Edward: What's that horrid burning smell?
Alice: -gasps and begins to sing O Silent Night in German-
Edward: Why are you singing a Christmas song on Halloween… in German? And what is that smell?
Mauri: That MAY or may NOT be Emmett's jeep…
Emmett: WHAT?! –runs outside to see Jeep on fire-
Shea: -runs in with no eyebrows and clothes on fire, laughing- I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!
Mauri: Why are you laughing?!
Shea: -laughs- PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Edward: -jumps away from wonderful looking flames- GET AWAY FROM ME!
Alice: -gets bucket and dumps water over Shea- DIE FLAMES DIE!
Shea: -laughs- THAT WAS FUN! CAN I DO IT AGAIN?!
Emmett: -from outside- MY JEEP!!!
Mauri: What did you DO Shea?!
Shea: -laughs-
Mauri: Shea…
Shea: -laughs and falls over-
Edward: LAKISHA ADELE KANE!!! TELL US!
Shea: -laughs and rolls around, banging fists on floor-
Emmett: -runs in and grabs Shea, holding her upside down out the window- TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HERMAN!!!
Shea: -stops laughing- you named your Jeep Herman?
Emmett: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!
Shea: No… -then bursts into crazy laughter-
Edward: PUT HER DOWN EMMETT!
Emmett: -lets go-
Shea: AHHHHHHHHH!!! –falls-
Edward: Great, now I gotta go be Superman… -runs out of room at Vampire Speed-
Shea: -falling- HAHAHA! –laughs-
Mauri: -inside- You had to drop her?
Emmett: Edward made me!
Mauri: Nice… I like it…
Edward: -walks into room and drops Shea on floor-
Shea: -laughs-
Edward: -wipes hands on Emmett- Ew…
Shea: -laughs harder-
Mauri: -stares at Shea- WOW…
Shea: -laughs so hard she snorts like a pig-
Edward: -wide eyes- is she on something?
Mauri: She MAY or may NOT be on something… that however, is classified information. I COULD tell you, but then I'd have to kill you…
Edward: -cocks eyebrow- and how on earth are you going to kill an indestructible Vampire?
Shea: -laughs- FIRE!!! –laughs-
Mauri: Ask the maniac.
Edward: -backs away- I think I'll be going now… -turns and trips over Bella whose still out mumbling about getting married to a moose-
Edward: -shocked- Is that was you think about me?!
Bella: -snore- I love you Mike… -snore-
Shea: -stops laughing and gasps-
Edward: -freezes-
Emmett: -snorts in laughter-
Alice: -nervously looks away-
Mauri: Whoa, didn't see that one coming…
THE END
Of this chappy of course…
Disclaimer: We forgot one up top so here it is:
We are rich teenagers who Stephenie Meyer paid to write this awesomely awesome Fanfiction and she LITERALLY GAVE us these characters so yeah, we DO own Twilight…
If you believed anything we just said up there…
GET HELP!
Much ♥,
Us
