Chapter 2: Hot Topics
The last Saturday in March 2018 was mild when I met Sarah, James, and Henri at their apartment in Oakland, along with my other friend, Carly Shay, and her parents, Sam and Freddie. "Hi, guys!" I greeted my friends. "Hi, Angel!" Sarah greeted back. I noticed that Sarah and Carly were dressed very nicely. "You girls look nice," I remarked. "What are you two dressed up for?" "I am going on another big date with Robert," Sarah replied. "Where are you guys going?" Carly asked. "To Rock Room in Polish Hill," Sarah replied. "It's on Herron Avenue." "That's interesting," Carly remarked. "My family is staying in Polish Hill for Easter weekend. Tonight, we are having a big Easter dinner at my relatives' house." "So, I guess it was a better idea for us to have the meeting at your apartment in Oakland this morning, since Carly and her parents aren't home?" "That's right, Angel," Sarah replied. "James is also making omelets for all of us to eat for breakfast." We all then sat down at the table to eat breakfast. "Sarah, James, Henri, I am very proud of the way that you guys had conversations with your peers last weekend at both Zone 28, along with Emily and her younger siblings, and Napoli Pizzeria, as well as at Casa Reyna and in the Strip District," I praised my friends. "It seems like you guys really learned and remembered the communication skills that you have been learning over the past few months. But, there is just one thing you need to be careful talking about!" "What is that, Angel?" Sarah asked me. "Hot topics since they make people so upset, and does anybody know why?" I asked. "Because people have strong opinions that aren't easily swayed, and the other person's opinion could be 'harmful'," Henri replied. "Due to the rise of social media, meaning that everybody has a platform," James added. "I know this since I have been on Facebook since 2010." "Also, your opinion makes you part of a group, and determines who gets what, when, and where," Sarah pointed out. "What influences the way that people respond to hot topic conversations, like why some people choose to argue or walk away?" I asked. "How strongly someone feels about the subject," James replied. "How patient and understanding you are," Sarah added. "How often the topic is brought up to you," Henri chimed in. "Your personality and reputation, like who you're talking to," Mrs. Shay replied. "The culture or setting you're in," Carly added. "How the topic is brought up to you," Mr. Benson chimed in. "When should you ignore the comment a person made?" I asked. "If you're online," James replied. "If you're at work or in class," Sarah added. "If you're at a bar, or if the person is not in the right state of mind," Henri chimed in. "If a person is clearly looking for a fight," Mrs. Shay replied. "At important family gatherings," Carly added. "If you don't know the person who made the comment," Mr. Benson chimed in. "When should you walk away from the conversation?" I asked."If the situation looks dangerous," Carly replied. "If a person is clearly looking for a fight or a reaction," Mrs. Shay added. "And, for many other similar reasons," Mr. Benson chimed in. "When should you express your discomfort and change the conversation?" I asked. "With a close friend or family member," Sarah replied. "When someone isn't intending to upset you," James added. "When you're with someone and they're embarrassing you," Henri chimed in. "When should you engage in the conversation?" I asked. "When what someone is saying or doing is hurting other people," Carly replied. "When someone is asking you about your opinion," Mrs. Shay added. "When someone is open to hearing other opinions," Mr. Benson chimed in. "How could you ignore the comment?" I asked. "Don't respond to what they said," Sarah replied. "Try to change the conversation," James added. "If the person still continues to try to engage in the subject, try one of the other strategies such as assertively expressing your discomfort or walking away," Henri chimed in. "How could you walk away from the conversation?" I asked. "Instead of just walking away, you should provide an excuse to leave," Carly replied. "This is important because it shows respect and doesn't escalate someone." "Some excuses you can use include 'Have to go take this call', 'I have to be somewhere', or 'One of my relatives is in town or meeting people for an event'," Mrs. Shay added. "If you can't walk away, try one of the other strategies such as ignoring the comment or assertively expressing your discomfort," Mr. Benson chimed in. "How could you express your discomfort?" I asked. "Assertive statements come into play here, and these steps could be helpful in order to express yourself in a way that minimizes conflict," Sarah replied. "If the person doesn't respond politely to your request to change the subject, just walk away since at this point, your excuse could be whatever," James added. "Here is an example of a good empathy statement," Henri chimed in. "I understand that this is an issue that you really care about, but I feel uncomfortable when you bring up politics because we don't have the same view. I would really like to change the subject now." "Very good, Henri," I remarked. "Now, if you choose to engage in the conversation, what are some things to remember?" "You can't control anyone else, just your reactions, and you may not change their minds," Carly replied. "It could lead to negative reactions, and you could teach someone something," Mrs. Shay added. "Be respectful since their opinion doesn't affect you," Mr. Benson chimed in. "Good job, guys," I praised my friends. "Now, what are some hot topics that you guys could debate about for the next two weeks?" "I would like to debate about the one time that I went to the local car dealer in Cheswick to get a new car for my birthday, and another person said that I have to be at least 16 years old to drive a car since it is the state law," James suggested. "I have always believed that the minimum driving age should be 16 years old, anyway," Mrs. Shay contradicted, "since that will give people more time to learn how to drive and they have a lot going on in their lives, anyway, with things like schoolwork." "So, you have had many problems with dating boys in the past, Sarah?" Carly asked. "That's right, Carly," Sarah replied. "I have." "I would like to debate about how a person can only go on a first date with someone to an age-appropriate place," Sarah suggested. "Well, it doesn't really matter where the person takes you or what the person does with you, just as long as you are having a good time, nevertheless," Carly contradicted, "since my first date was on a bar and restaurant in Natrona Heights with another older boy, and no boy has ever asked me on a date ever since then." "I would like to debate about how Donald Trump is making us pay for our own health insurance once we turn 26 years old," Henri suggested, "since I turned 24 years old last weekend and it will now be only 2 more years before I pay for my own health insurance. As a result, I would like to get a head start." "Are you kidding me, Henri?" Mr. Benson contradicted. "I miss Barack Obama as our president and especially Obamacare, since that would have been good for people who can't afford their own health insurance. Bring back Obamacare, please!" "So, the topics will be basically about dating and romance, the minimum driving age, and politics and health insurance," I concluded. "We should also have a side A and side B to correlate with these topics better." "That sounds good, Angel," Sarah remarked. "Sarah, James, and Henri, you guys can be on side A, while Carly, Mrs. Shay, and Freddie, you guys can be on side B." "Sounds like a plan, Angel," Carly remarked. "Sarah, James, and Henri, it is important that you learn and remember all these communication skills you have learned, whether they be with these guys or with Alex, Justin, and Max," I reminded my friends, "and this means no more hot topics! Hope everybody has a happy Easter!" "Okay, Angel," Sarah agreed. "We will remember that." Pretty soon, it was time for me to leave. "Thanks for a great day, guys!" I thanked my friends. "You're welcome, Angel," Sarah replied. "Bye, guys!" "Bye!"
