ONE PIECE REPORTS

Report 1

"Where am I? Who are you faceless people? Am I in hell? ….Oh, well. My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I'm here to complain! I need to be smarter than a –BEEP- fruit cake and stop screaming like a retard whenever I see something that's life threatening! ALSO…MY AMERICAN VOICE ACTOR MUST DIE!"

"Don't worry, Luffy, we set up the 'Luffy's American Voice Actor must Die!' club!"

Report 2

"Zolo! Zolo! Zoro! Zoro! See, my name sounds more realistic if it's Zoro, instead of Zolo! I also need a sexy beard and a female android to molest! JUST GIVE ME THE MEAT AND I'LL BE FINE!"

"I TOLD YOU, FUNAMATION IS LYING! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO #18!"

Report 3

"My name is Nami. I would like it if Sanji would stop staring at my boobs, if my boobs didn't grow by 6 inches ever 50 chapters, and that I could be stronger and more useful!"

"But you already won against Kalifa and we can't help it if you have giant boobs, Nami!"

Report 4

"I am Ussop, Shitty warrior of the sea! I have fourteen eyelids and twelve toes and each of my fingers! I can fire cannon balls from my butt and my face sometimes looks like Elvis Presley! I am in love with my self and all my pals!"

"OH..MY…GOSH!"

Report 5

"I need to see more hentai in the comics! I need more sexy women and giant boobs like Nami's or Robin's. I have so many perverted needs that I cut out my other eye! MELLORINE!"

"Stupid perverted Sanji!"

Report 6

""RAARRG! Chopper is in the house! I have so many shits up my arse, it isn't funny! My powers are stupid and lame! I HAVE FURY! I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO RUN UP WALLS OR SOMETHIN' TO BE COOL! KIDS THESE DAYS ARE SO-"

"I HATE REINDEERS, DAMMIT!"

Report 7

"………………………………………………….My name is Nico Robin."

"THAT'S IT?"

Report 8

"I am Franky, coolest damn dude you'll ever meet! I look like Ace Ventura and Pop Eye's frickin' love child! I AM COOL, BUT A BEARD WILL MAKE ME LOOK SEXY! DEATH TO THE PEANUTS!"

Snicker Snicker

Report 9

"If I become the next shipmate of the Straw Hat Pirates, let me the first to say this: IF THAT F----IN' COOK PUTS ANY F----IN' CARROTS IN MY F----IN' JUICE, I'LL F----IN' KILL SOMEONE!"

"Poppa Rocks, get the F---- off!"

Report 10 (Final Report)

"Uh…KOBI-CHAN IS SO CUTE! I HATE CROCODILE-KUN! SAVE THE MANATEES!"

"Another fan girl, huh?"

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Next up: Bobobo-Bo-Bobobo Reports!