'Bella? Bella what's wrong? What is it?' Charlie advanced towards me, his arms outstretched into a zombie-like stance. I screamed again and felt my knees buckle as he grabbed my shoulders. 'Bella?' His voice was getting urgent. 'Did you have a bad dream?'
I reflected onto the brief moment of calm I had experienced before awakening into the brief moment of fear stricken panic, and shook my head.
'I thought somebody was in the room, you know, before you came in. In fact I could have sworn somebody else was in here' I looked around, unconvinced.
'Aw Bells' Charlie rubbed my arms roughly, in a feeble attempt to quieten my shudders. 'Why's that?'
I shook my head again, unable really to explain it all in words.
'Well - you know when you sorta get that feeling? Like you're being watched?' I sighed, and restrained the sudden impulse to sob like a child. Charlie noticed my despair and pulled me into an uncharacteristic Dad - daughter style hug. I didn't pull away and cringe like I might have done yesterday, instead I soaked in all the warmth and comfort you can only get from the company of another human being.
Morning was grey, damp yet incredibly satisfying as I got out of bed into the cool, minimally lit room. I had survived the night before without a horrific nightmare to scar me for the rest of the week, but the result was a bad nights rest.
I staggered out into the hallway and entered the bathroom at sloth pace. I didn't bother to look in the mirror, already knowing what I would look like; pale, fragile, with protruding dark circles under my red, puffy eyes. I groaned and looked at my watch, 8.55 am. I had precisely 5 minutes to get to the library.
Oh well,
I thought, I've worked enough overtime to last me a month's late mornings.'Bella hunny! I'm off!' Charlie called to me from downstairs. I groaned again, he was already late for work because I had kept him awake half the night.
'Yeah- okay Dad, bye!' I slammed the toothpaste back into the jar by the sink and walked a little faster back into my room before getting changed for work.
I pulled on a plain grey top, my usual jeans, and plaited my hair into one wiry long tail down my back, grabbed an apple and my jacket from the kitchen table, and set off to work in my truck.
It began to rain halfway there, light at first, pattering softly onto my windscreen, but by the time I pulled up in the parking lot it fell like buckets onto my head, soaking me in the few seconds it took to reach the library doors.
I swung them open and tripped over my own feet in my haste to get under dry shelter.
Claire was already sitting in the chair behind the reception desk, drumming her bony fingers onto the polished wood surface and flicking annoyed glances at her wrist watch.
'You're late Bella' she didn't even look up but pushed herself away from the desk and stomped rather childishly into her office. I didn't worry much, no doubt she'd forgotten all about it the moment she'd shut her office door, instead I settled into my swivel chair and prepared myself for a long day's wallowing.
I didn't realise until he cleared his throat that he was standing in front of my desk, a hint of a smile getting to work at the corners of his red lips.
'Hey Bella' I had to catch my breath before it escaped my open mouth in a gusty sigh, and I almost forgot how to speak.
'Hi, hi James'
'I came to return that book.'
I felt the frown spread slowly across my forehead as I puzzled over why he was talking about books, then remembered the library surroundings that were my workplace.
I smiled in embarrassment and fumbled for the keyboard, typing then deleting, then attempting to type again his, oh so perfect name.
He passed me the book from his duffle while I keyed in the information onto my computer screen.
'I um, didn't hear you come in' I decided small-talk was best suited for the occasion and gave my best at a confident smile.
'See that's my tactic, stalk then strike' I gawped, my own naivety creating wild fantasies in my head within seconds. He laughed so loudly it startled the expected silence of the library and Claire stuck her long nose round the door before quickly shutting it again upon my intent gaze. 'It was a joke stupid!' he laughed some more, the sound filling my stomach with misbehaving butterflies. I blushed, looking down and playing absentmindedly with a loose strand of hair.
'So, where shall I leave this then?' He prompted me, indicating the book still waiting in his hands.
'In that tray there, thanks' I expected all manner of small-talk to be over, as the task at hand was completed, we would have nothing else to use an excuse to continue talking, but James carried on gallantly.
'Did you get much sleep last night?' The question took me completely off guard and I felt my jaw drop rather idiotically. 'I mean, you look tiered, that's all'
'Oh.' Well, that wasn't much better. My hand absentmindedly traced the soft skin beneath my eyes, as if my fingers would magic away the purple shadows that dwelt there.
'I was thinking of getting out another book, I figured you're the book type, do you know any good ones?' He grinned, I half expected him to wink and his teeth to sparkle. I shook my head slightly to stop myself staring while a plan was hatching itself in my mind.
'Yep, right down there' I directed him, pointing to the back of the room. He turned. My plan worked.
'Where exactly?' He called, as my eyes drifted elsewhere.
'Umm, right at the butt' I gasped, he paused, 'the back! The back I mean the back!' I instinctively hid my face in my hands, and could feel my cheeks burning already as the sound of his perfect laughter rang through the library walls.
'I'll take this one thanks!' His voice sounded close to my ear and I started up in surprise. He stood right in front of the desk, calm with a grin still hovering about his dark features. I eyed the distance from the back of the room to my desk, could he have made it in seconds?
'You sure do walk fast' I commented as I stamped the book and noted it into my 'out book' folder, which these days was sadly empty.
'Olympic Athlete' He grinned again. I sighed, with those legs, I couldn't disagree.
I handed him the hefty book, willing our hands to touch. They didn't, and I slumped back into my chair, worryingly disappointed. 'Thanks, so, I'll see you soon Bella. Bye!' He left through the doors and into the pouring rain, with his departing promise leaving me on the edge of my seat.
I spent the rest of the day and night restlessly waiting for the next day to begin. Hoping, although severely doubting for James' swift return to the library.
My patience was rewarded however, when James strode confidently through the library doors almost as soon as they were unlocked the next morning.
'Hello Mr. Athlete' I smiled, surprisingly even more nervous than I had been in our last meeting.
'Hey Bella, I'm returning that book'. He placed it in the tray.
'My, you sure read like an athlete' I murmured and it didn't go unheard. He chuckled under his breath.
'The book wasn't really to my liking'
'Oh, perhaps you'd like to choose a different one.'
'From the back right?' He said, the playful mocking in his words turning my face the red colour of his sweatshirt in seconds. He laughed and leaned forwards, placing both hands onto the desk, his face ducking irresistibly close. 'Or you could let me take you out again.' I probably completely lost the cool laid back I-don't-really-care-either-way stance, but I had no way of telling. His face was so close, all I could really think about was how long his eyelashes were. 'Bella?'
'Nes'
'sorry?'
'Yes- no, work, um I have to finish work I mean.' He smiled as I began to stumble over my words, evidently at ease with this kind of up front approach.
'Okay, well, tonight?'
'Tonight? Um no, I actually can't tonight' I could, it was just a bit too soon, I needed time to prepare myself. The last time we'd gone out, I was a complete mess, I wouldn't be this time.
'Tomorrow night?' His eyes sparkled and I grinned.
'That sounds great'
'Great, good, I'll come pick you up at 7' he leaned in even closer, and I thought, for one silly unimaginable moment, that he would kiss me. 'Bye Bella' his breath caught me off guard, ice cold, sweet even. Then, all too soon, he stood up, turned, and walked out of the door.
'Oh, that young man must like the library Miss Swan, he seems to enjoy the tranquil environment as much as I do, I can't see why else he'd return so regularly' Claire bustled out of her office door and started rearranging the books on display around the windows. 'Yes, it's not often you find such young men that have a similar interest in knowledge and literature as the previous generation. Domage!' Claire liked to think she was extremely intellectual, she also liked to think she could speak French, I'm sure she didn't always mean to be crude, her heart was in the right place.
'Yes Claire, I'm sure he's very interested in the library' I sighed, and brushed a hand through my hair, it was going to be a long time to wait, from now until tomorrow night.
Charlie was asleep when I got back after work, lounged out on the sofa with the TV flickering into the darkness, the unnatural light throwing the room into eerie elongated shadows. I tiptoed past into the kitchen, and quietly flipped on the light.
'Bella?' Charlie groaned from the living room 'is that you?'
'Who else could it be Dad?' I pulled the dinner out of the freezer and placed it into the heating oven. Charlie appeared round the corner, and folded himself groggily into a kitchen chair.
'Had a good day?' he asked, his eyelids drooping.
'Sheesh Dad, I'm sorry I woke you up last night. You look really worn out!'
'Don't worry about it kid, I just need some good food down me.' He yawned loudly, stretching his arms behind his head.
'So how was your day?' He persisted, shrinking back into the chair.
'Fine thanks' I bent down to retrieve the meal, then placed it steadily onto the table, 'how was yours? Careful Dad, it's hot'
'thanks, it wasn't bad, wasn't bad. Hey Bells, you don't mind if I eat this by the TV do you? The games on'
'Sure, go ahead' Charlie smiled carefully, analysing my expression, before he took his plate and shuffled back to the TV.
I ate, washed up, then slunk upstairs. My room was dark, and unnervingly cold as I lay down in my bed and prepared myself for enduring another restless night's sleep.
I was back again, in the meadow filled with grass. Only, this time there were flowers, blooming and swaying in the gentle warm breeze. It wasn't like anywhere in Forks, this beautiful scene was just a figment of my imagination, just like the topaz eyes staring into my own. I lifted myself onto one elbow and looked over his face, his chiselled jaw line, his straight nose, his high cheek bones, and his hot, smouldering eyes .It was all I could do to gaze at his angelic features and wonder how long this dream would go on for.
I began to think, if this was a dream, I could do what I liked. So, leaning up I pressed my lips to the nearest thing they would reach on his face, and ended up kissing his chin. He laughed, deep and smooth and full of unrestrained joy.
'Bella?' The sun glanced onto him, and he shimmered in the light, like a thousand tiny crystals were embedded into his skin. I lay my head back into the grass, and soaked in all the warmth of the dream.
'Mmm, yes?'
'How are you?' The question seemed pointless, unsuited to the moment.
'Why are you asking me that. Don't ask me that, this is my dream and you'll do what I want' he smiled.
'And what do you want princess Isabella?' I made a show of thinking long and hard.
'Kiss me' I decided. He laughed again and leaned over me, closer, until our noses were touching and his eyes were level with my own. I looked into them, they were intense, like somebody else I knew. 'You have eyes like James'. The boy stopped, stiffened and drew back all in a moment, shock clear in his voice.
'Who's James?'
'Just this guy I know, what's the matter?' He stood up, urgency and alarm flashing across his features. And then he was gone, sprinting like the wind across the meadow and disappearing into the darkness of the forest beyond.
I woke up to a dark morning, cold sweat beading the back of my neck, the end of the dream had taken a worrying turn and still lingered on the edge of my mind.
Charlie had already left by the time I dragged myself downstairs, he'd left a note on the table, with the sentence gone fishing with Billy scrawled messily in black ink across an old envelope.
It was a shame I had so little to occupy myself with at the weekends, otherwise I could while away the time until tonight with something productive to do. With one look at the expectedly dreary day outside I ran upstairs and grabbed my spent copy of Wuthering Heights, flopped onto the bed, and began to read.
A few hours passed exhaustibly by, and the weather outside didn't improve. It began to rain heavily, and the wind screeched around the house, scratching noisily across the walls and rattling the windows, attempting any way in.
It was about the time when I began to wonder why Charlie wasn't home yet, that I heard the front door open and close.
'Dad?' I called, skipping down the stairs. It was Charlie and Jacob Black, but something was wrong, my Dad was leaning awkwardly onto Jacob's shoulder. His back seemed bent, hunched, and his head lolled uselessly as if he was sleeping. 'Dad! What's wrong? Jacob?' I ran to them and helped Charlie onto the couch where he curled into the side and coughed, a sound that sounded more like a spluttered, broken choke. 'You're soaked! What's happened?' Jacob ordered me to fetch some blankets and dry towels.
I returned with the bundles in my arms to find Jacob folding up Charlie's wet shirt. He reached up and took the bundles from me.
'What's happened Jacob?' I persisted.
'Your Dad fell into the river, it was raining pretty heavy and it was flowing fast. I managed to get him out, but he's frozen, not to mention half drowned.' He patted him dry, then tucked the blankets tightly around him and sat back. 'If you don't mind, I'd like to stay, my Dad wants constant updates on how he's doing.'
'That's fine.' I sunk down beside the couch, tears burning their way out of my eyes. I took my Dad's hand, his fingers were like ice, fragile and breakable, like they would crumple and shatter under my touch.
'Are you alright?' Jacob looked over me, his eyes tenderly examining my aghast expression.
I think I nodded, but all I could do was look over Charlie's unconscious expression, and feel myself being ripped apart by worry.
'Well,' He carried on quietly, 'we should make sure he gets enough water down him, then later take him upstairs to his own bed so he gets enough rest. He should be fine by morning, it's just a bit of a shock that's all.' Jacob's hair was wet, the short cropped style still held trapped droplets of water, that shinned gently in the soft glow of twilight.
I tore myself away from Charlie, and brushed a hand through my hair 'you look cold yourself, can I get you something dry to wear? I'm sure Charlie won't mind if you borrow something of his'
'I'm fine, thanks though.'
I began to fuss about, tucking the blankets tighter around him, and refilling the glass of water that stood, untouched, on the floor.
I was startled by the shrill ringing of the telephone and jumped up quickly to stop it from waking him.
'Hello?' I practically whispered into the receiver.
'Hey Bella, it's James'
'Oh, hi, how are you?'
'I'm fine thanks, and yourself?'
'I'm okay, what's up?'
'I'm stuck in traffic, and might be a little late, is that okay?'
'What? Oh!' With Charlie ill, the much anticipated evening out had completely slipped from my mind 'actually about that James, I'm sorry but my Dad's ill and I have to stay in tonight to look after him. Sorry I didn't ring earlier.'
'Oh' James hesitated, 'well, that's okay. I hope he gets better, bye' The line went dead.
'Bye…' I sighed and tried silently to put the phone down, before tiptoeing back to the couch.
'Bella?' Charlie's voice was weak, but he propped himself up, leaning his back against the armrest. I sighed in relief and quickly knelt down beside him.
'What's up Dad, are you cold?'
'No kid, just a bit confused. How did I get back here? The last thing I can remember clearly is falling into the river' he looked around and noticed Jacob, sending his eyebrows up into a surprised, wearied smile.
'Hey Jake'
'Are you sure you're not too cold? I interrupted their greeting.
'I'm fine Bella, really. So what happened?'
'Well, Jacob jumped in after you and managed to get you out' Charlie turned to him and smiled gratefully,
'Thank you' he said, his voice heavy with emotion. Jacob returned the smile, then stood up,
'D'you mind if I ring my Dad?'
'Go for it' Charlie choked out the last word and leaned his head heavily against the couch, as Jacob crossed the room to use the phone. I listened to him dialling, and talking to Billy Black, a hushed and hurried conversation.
Giving up trying to eavesdrop, I turned to Charlie and ordered him to drink some water, holding the glass in my hand so he wouldn't drop it,. He managed to gurgle down a few gulps.
'Can you move much Dad? Do you think you can make it up to your bed?' Charlie sighed and pulled his eyebrows together.
'If you get Jacob to help me' he pulled the blankets tighter over his shoulders and pulled himself up into a sitting position, swinging his legs to the floor. Before I could look up to call him over, Jacob was by my side and hoisting Charlie's right arm around his neck. 'Thanks Jake, you're a good guy' I heard Charlie mumble as they climbed clumsily up the stairs.
I was about to follow, bringing the water, when the doorbell rang loudly and unexpectedly. I wondered briefly if it was Billy and Harry. The bell peeled again throughout the silence, once, twice, three times.
'I'm coming, I'm coming!' I called as loudly as I could over the pattering of the heavy rain, and placed the glass back onto the floor. My initial reaction, when I swung open the door, was confusion, which developed into surprise, which developed into a bumbling confused surprised Bella. 'James! Hi! Come in, come in.' James strode quickly indoors and walked around to behind the couch, unsubtly sniffing the air, a strange unfathomable look brewing on his face. I instantly felt my cheeks burning bright red, it was true I hadn't cleaned the house in a few days, but did it really smell?
'Who's here Bella?' James questioned me, catching me off guard. Just then Jacob returned down the stairs, him in turn sniffing vigorously. I couldn't tell, but I knew I was as red as a tomato. Jacob paused on the bottom step, while him and James exchanged an incomprehensible look.
'I'm sorry!' I burst out, 'I can open a window or something! I haven't cleaned up for a while but that's just because I've been so busy lately! What with work and… work. But then again I suppose I could have-'
'Bella' James interrupted me 'what are you talking about?' He was calm again, the James I'd first met, smooth and laid back, had I missed something? I turned to Jacob, whose own expression was calm, but I couldn't help picking up his hostile stance, and the strange concentrated look in his eyes.
'I'll be off now Bella' Jacob descended the rest of the staircase and crossed quickly to the door. I held it open for him, rather baffled and expected him to run to his car to avoid the downpour. But he stopped on the porch and turned back to me, 'Call me if you need me.' He spoke very slowly, and looked directly into my eyes, before turning on the spot and walking gracefully into the night.
I closed the door slowly, trying to make sense of his departing words, when I felt the slight pressure of James' hand on my shoulder.
'Are you okay? How's your Dad?'
'Um, yeah he's resting now. Say James, I could have sworn I cancelled our plans. I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that I couldn't go out tonight?' My head was a mess, it could have easily slipped by.
'Yeah you did, then you invited me round instead, remember Bella?' He laughed when my brow furrowed in confusion, and tapped his hand against my temple 'silly.' I laughed, my worries vanishing completely under his sudden touch and informality. 'So… what do you want to do?' He grinned at me , and my heart beat accelerated, sending my stomach into double back flips.
He laughed again, my expression obviously giving me away. 'Let's watch TV then yeah?' He crossed the room and sat down onto the couch, patting the space beside him. My stomach was settled, but my heart beat wasn't, as I folded myself onto the seat beside him, and he slid his arm easily around my waist, pulling my body closer against his. 'You must be tiered' he lulled into my ear. I couldn't disagree, and saw no harm in laying my head against his cheek. 'It's been a long day' that was true as well, what with Charlie, I closed my eyes. 'Go to sleep Bella, I won't wake you.'
The meadow was bare, there was no grass, just the hard bitter feel of frost. The boy was running towards me, fast, urgent. It took him 3 seconds to cross the entire space of barren land, and he grabbed my shoulders pulling me towards him and ducking down so we were exactly face to face.
'Wake up Bella! Wake up!' His voice was distant, but his face was clear, burning into my mind. 'Bella! Wake up!'
'But I'm not sleeping I-' The meadow was disappearing around me, and the last thing that I saw of the dream was the boy's face, distressed and crucial.
I opened my eyes to nothing. The room was dark, but I was pretty certain that I was still on the couch. I began to wonder where James had gone, when the ice cold feel of his hands slid their way across my throat.
Author's note
I'm sorry if there are any mistakes! I tried to find them all but they might have slipped by... thanks for reading :)
