Imbecile Anthem
Part 2: Mistakes
Some mistakes one never wants to learn from and he can't
Didn't you listen? Didn't you care? Don't you understand?
The mission was just what Leonard needed: an opportunity. The Vulcan had somehow managed to transform himself into a real threat over the past few months. He had previously ignored Leonard, but now he was keeping a close eye on him and the Captain, and that didn't bode well. He could even point his finger at it: This had started when the others had been on their ship, those too soft fools from another reality. Since then, Spock had been weird. Weirder. Anyway, to be alone with him would be the best time to get rid of him. An accident. No-one would be any the wiser.
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Humans, Spock found, were rather easy to read. McCoy more so than others. The way the man looked at him showed his intent all too clearly. If Spock was not careful, he would not leave this shuttle alive. For now, McCoy needed him. But down on the planet, things would be different. The doctor had admitted that he could not land the shuttle, but he would be able to return to the ship. The tractor beam would guide him home, with or without Spock.
He, on the other hand, did not need the doctor. And he certainly had no use for him. Of the entire crew, he was the only one who might, potentially, feel some sort of loyalty towards Kirk. Therefore, he might be an obstacle.
Spock had taken the other Kirk's words to heart. He would seize the Enterprise. And he would start that change. And if one sadistic doctor had to die for that change, so be it.
The shuttle gave an unpleasant lurch. 'What the hell is that?' the repulsive human barked.
'I believe that we are under the influence of an electromagnetic storm. The landing will be rough.' It was an understatement. When they finally touched down, Spock was half surprised the shuttle hadn't fallen to pieces. 'It will require some work to get us back into orbit,' Spock said. McCoy did not answer. That was unusual. McCoy always answered, usually in an unfriendly manner. 'Doctor?' He glanced at the man beside him and found him slipped half to the floor. A trickle of blood was running down his forehead. Spock folded his arms and observed him. 'That certainly simplifies matters.'
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When Leonard opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised about the pain. He remembered the crash all right. He was surprised that he woke up at all, let alone outside the shuttle in a perfect lateral recumbent position. 'God, I went to hell and have to keep doing … this.'
'That is a very illogical statement.'
'Shut up.' He sat up and instantly vomited into his lap.
'You have a concussion, doctor.'
'Yeah. I noticed.' His vision was swimming, he was sick, and he wanted to die. 'Why couldn't you just kill me? I would have.'
'I am still analysing my own reluctance to end your life when it would have been so easy.' Leonard snorted and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.
'Do we have water?' Spock offered a bottle, and Leonard eyed it suspiciously. 'Well, I guess you could have killed me more easily than this,' he said and drank deeply. 'When can we get going again?'
'Soon. There are minor repairs necessary, but they should not take me longer than five hours. After that time, I shall need to rest. I did not have a chance to do so prior to our departure.' Leonard nodded and leaned back against his pillow. He felt for the hypospray he had prepared and found that it was where it should be. He'd make the trip back all alone. By helping him, the fool had signed his own death sentence.
Leonard smiled inwardly when, hours later, he found the Vulcan sitting in the shuttle with his eyes closed. He had thought this would be much more difficult. Now all he had to do was put the poison in his system and survive an angry Spock for the ten seconds it would take the substance to start affecting him. He took out the vial and stood ready to apply it. His hands started shaking and he felt a very odd sensation. His head was still hurting from the concussion. This must be it.
His head was still pounding because he was not, in fact, dead. Because Spock had not killed him, had actually taken care that he would not choke to death if he vomited during his unconsciousness. Swallowing, Leonard flung the hypospray away. The moment it clattered to the floor, Spock jerked away. 'Fucking bastard,' Leonard managed. 'I can't even kill you.' Spock's eyebrows rose. 'You saved my life.'
'It did not need saving.'
'It might have.' Leonard sat next to him and buried his face in his hands. 'Spock … I wonder. Why didn't you kill me?' He realised it sounded like a plea. A plea for what, Leonard wasn't too certain.
'I was about to do so but then decided to give you a chance.' Leonard looked up at the man next to him.
'A chance to do what? Kill you instead? I … wanted to. Right now. I'd planned it all along.'
'And yet, you did not do it.' Leonard sighed.
'No. Seemed … just so wrong. I'm too weak for this entire Starfleet thing. Jim always said so.'
'Jim?' Leonard huffed.
'We used to be friends. Long ago.' He really didn't want to think about this. 'Spock … you're plotting something. I don't know what, but you don't kill needlessly. And I'm pretty sure you wanted to kill me, so there must be some reason.' Spock gave him a quizzical look.
'Fascinating. You read me well.' Leonard shrugged.
'I don't know. So why? You've been weird ever since we crossed with the other universe. What happened?' When Spock stood and started working on the shuttle, Leonard followed and stopped him with a hand on his arm. 'Look. We both had an opportunity to kill each other and didn't do it. With the shuttle dead, no-one can ever hear us. You can tell me.'
'You wish me to trust you?' Leonard smiled, and for the first time in too long there was no venom in it, no anger, no sneer.
'Yes Spock. Cause I think I can trust you. And I'm …' He turned away. 'I hate all this. I hate killing. I hate causing pain at someone's beck and call. I hate my life.' The busy movement behind Leonard stopped.
'Why did you join Starfleet?' He turned back around.
'Misjudgement on my part. I'd rather not go into details. It's not a happy memory.' Spock seemed to steel himself.
'I did not kill you because I believed that there is a part of you that is not corrupted. Maybe I was right. Maybe you are a good actor, but I am reluctant to think so. I will tell you my intentions. Know that if you betray any of this to the Captain your life is forfeit. I shall deny it, and he will have you executed. If he does not believe me, I shall personally kill you.'
'You won't have to, Spock.'
'I intend to seize command of the Enterprise. I shall kill the Captain at the first opportunity I get. And then I intend to set this world right.'
'Sounds like an adolescent's dream. I had it, too.'
'And you should not give it up. Are you willing to help me?'
'How do you plan to do this?' Spock sighed.
'I am, as yet, uncertain. But an opportunity will present itself. I need to know that if when this time comes you will stand on my side.' Leonard nodded eagerly.
'Of course.'
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When they stepped out of the shuttle in the hangar bay, Kirk was awaiting them. 'Spock, I want your report in an hour. McCoy …' For a moment he faltered, and Spock wondered why. But then it passed, and Kirk was his brisk, angry self. 'McCoy, yours as well. Next time I'll leave you both behind if you fail to report.'
'If that Vulcan son of a bitch wasn't such a lousy flier none of this would have happened,' McCoy grated, but it lacked his usual bile.
'Next time you fly the shuttle. I shall make sure someone else accompanies you, however.' Kirk pursed his lips.
'Quit arguing and get to work. I'm growing tired of the constant fighting. If you don't stop, I'll shut you up permanently.' When Kirk rushed out, Spock chanced a sideways glance at McCoy. The physician offered a smile and a wink and walked off. Spock followed at a more sedate speed and proceeded to his quarters. He needed to write a report. And then he needed to meditate.
