Author's Note: I think I may be more nervous about putting this chapter up than I was the first for some reason, but I hope you enjoy. And I'd love to hear your opinions. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.


Chapter Two – So It Begins..

It never used to be this way. Or perhaps in the beginning, before I'd experienced my hopes being crushed at every opportunity, I just saw it differently - I was able to look forward to the future; our future.

I still remember the first night that it happened clearly. I remember the sweet smell of wine laced with your heated breath. I remember the way your hand trembled in mine as you leaned in to kiss me. I remember the way everything around us seemed to drift away when I felt the softness of your lips against mine. Everything seemed so perfect then, albeit in a twisted way; full of hope and possibilities that had yet to be tarnished.

I never expected you to follow me after what I'd said. Damn, I never expected to tell you how I felt in the first place, and it was certainly never meant to come out in an argument the way that it did. I always thought that the day I told you that I love you, if I ever did, would be memorable for better reasons - not because I'd drank copious amounts and couldn't deal with being told that you were moving in with a guy that, through your own admission, you weren't completely sure about.

But it did happen that way, and you did follow me.

When I heard you yell my name as I stepped beyond your front door and into the rain, I felt my stomach churn. I wasn't sure then why you followed me, and I'm even more unsure now why I didn't just continue walking away. In hindsight, it probably would have been better if I'd pretended that I hadn't heard you, but that isn't how it happened. And honestly, deep down, a part of me is glad that I stopped, is glad that I didn't ignore you - but possibly for the wrong reasons.

I couldn't turn to face you at first; I was still fighting with myself about what I should do. But as soon as I felt your hand on mine, everything melted away until I was left with no ability to think rationally or morally; no care to even try.

You told me not to leave, and before I had the chance to even try to protest, that's when you did it; the thing that was to turn my entire world upside down. Maybe at the core it was my fault for letting my feelings slip; but you didn't have to follow me, you didn't have to stop me from leaving, and you certainly didn't have to kiss me.

But you did; and honestly, I have to admit, I let you.

I didn't try to stop you as you pulled me back inside. I didn't even try to stop you as you pushed me against the now closed door and kissed me hard - far from it.

Instead, I let myself become consumed with want and took the lead in the situation, backing you towards the sofa; all the while questioning none of it. Perhaps I should have taken Will's feelings into consideration, or taken anything into consideration for that matter, but that's easy to say now; now that things have played out the way that they have. But at the time, God, I didn't care. Right then, right in that second, you were finally mine.

Feeling you move underneath me, breathing more heavily with each desperate shift of our bodies, only pushed me further into something that I should've known would end badly. But not one rational thought could get through after that. Not when my lips began a trail down your body, removing your clothing as I went. Not when I felt you tug hungrily at mine. And definitely not when I touched you for the first time and felt your body react beneath me.

I was so completely consumed by you, by every movement and every noise you made. I was lost in a bubble; our bubble. Right there, in that moment, the entire world disintegrated to nothing, and no part of me felt it's loss.

And as I quickened the pace of my thrusting fingers inside of you and felt your release for the first time; I knew right then that that would be a feeling I'd so easily become addicted to, a feeling that I was already addicted to. There was something so vulnerable about you as you clung to me, your arms tight around my neck - something so beautiful, and frankly, I never wanted it to end.

But it did.

As soon as you sat up, reaching instantly for your clothes as you did, I knew that this was never going to become anything more than what it had just been. I knew I'd never be able to wake up with you in my arms, or be the one you came home to at night. I should've listened to the voice inside my head then, but something in your eyes as I left your house that evening filled me with hope; a naive, desperate hope.