Okay so after a looooooooong hiatus I've finally started writing again! So here's something I started a few months ago and only just finished. Enjoy!
November 24, 1803. Two years, and the pain was still fresh for all. Philip Hamilton was gone, they'd come to terms with it, but it didn't make it any easier to bear. Their hearts still ached for their lost love, brother, and son. Something was going to change this year, though. Two of the parties were going to bond over their loss, despite all the odds, despite their own best interests.
Theodosia Burr Alton woke on the morning of her old lover's death with a momentarily unexplainable ache in her chest… until she noticed the date. Sighing, she debated visiting his grave this year. She didn't go last year, the pain was too strong, she was too weak to handle seeing his grave, covered over with grass and flowers. She'd grown stronger since then though, gotten used to the cloud of grief that constantly was a part of her daily life. Even at 20, she was more used to grief, more adept at hiding how she felt, than many politicians, than many war veterans who had seen more death and despair than she ever would.
Theodosia looked up sharply from her seat on the edge of her and her husband's bed as her husband entered, taking a seat next to her. He had no idea of the significance the day carried, and she wasn't about to tell him. Donning a mental mask of neutrality, she looked up into the eyes of her husband with a smile on her face.
"Hello, darling," he grinned at her, an air of formality that remained throughout their marriage. Although they cared for each other very much, what they had could not necessarily be considered a romantic love; more of a strong friendship. Theodosia returned his greeting with a quick, friendly peck and an arm around his waist as he pulled her to his side. "I have a meeting most of the day today so I won't be home till late; don't wait up for me, I'll stop at a tavern for dinner on the way home."
"Alright, my dear, if you insist. I'll see you tonight," Theodosia replied, letting go of her husband as he stood up and left the room. As soon as the door shut, she dropped her mask. She still wasn't sure whether she wished to visit Philip's grave or not. There was always the chance she would see one of his family there. Perhaps it was too risky.
"No," she said aloud. She would go, risks be damned. She had nothing to lose, not really. She had already lost almost everything that mattered.
Eliza Hamilton still did not go to his grave, not yet. She had been, of course, other times. But the day he died, the pain, the memories, were almost overwhelming. And besides, she knew that her husband needed time alone to grieve, time where he did not have to be the strong one, time to cry. She did not want to take that away from him. So she stayed home again with the children, stayed strong, and kept a lid on her emotions, and waited for Alex to come home. Later that night, once the children were in bed, they would hold each other and cry over all that they had lost.
Alex was going through his own private turmoil. He had opted to walk to Philip's grave, not wishing to interact with anyone today, the anniversary of his son's death, the death he felt he had caused. He was still constantly haunted by the thought that his son had died, defending him, and because of how Alex had told him to fight the duel.
As he neared Philip's grave it felt as though his soul grew heavier with each passing step. Still, he plodded on, head hung low. Because of this, he didn't notice the young woman kneeling in front of his son's grave until he almost tripped over her. He took a step back, looking at her with a confused expression as he realized the young woman in front of his beloved eldest son's grave was Theodosia Burr Alston, his rival's daughter.
"What are you doing here? You barely even knew Phillip… right?" he asked her. She looked up at him sharply, having not heard him approach. There in her eyes Alex could see, for only a split second, grief and remorse. But it was quickly replaced by surprise and alarm.
Theodosia had a quick decision to make. She could lie and simply say she just happened to see the date while passing by and didn't recognize the name at first. Or… or, she could tell the truth. Tell him she and his son had been in love. Tell him they had been planning to get married. And risk the consequences of her revelation.
"Well.. not exactly, Mr. Hamilton. You see, Phillip and I were in love and… we were planning to get married when he died." Theodosia a spoke in a rush, finishing her sentence before she even really made the conscious decision to say it. Alexander stared at her in shock, not knowing what to say or how to process what he had just learned. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hamilton. I'll go now. You won't see me here again, I promise you."
"No, wait! Stay!" Alex near shouted, startling the already frazzled Theo. More softly, he continued, "Please?"
