I don't know why I wanted to write this. I'm sure this has been written before.

Don't care. This is just my interpretation of the event, feel free to disagree, but don't waste your time and mine trying to argue about it, K?

Onward!

Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own Undertale.


Sans knew that being able to read the crowd was a useful skill for a comedian. He had had a lot of time to learn how to do that. He loved not making use of it and just using his bad puns anyway, but still, it was a skill he knew well. He had become pretty good at reading faces in general after all this time.

There was also another skill he was good at. Well, not so much another skill as a different level of face reading.

It was a very… unique ability. He was able to read a very unique set of expressions. These weren't expressions that normally existed in any other situation.

But, he was in a unique situation.


He knew they had to come along some time, and so he stood, waiting. After quite a long time waiting, they suddenly appeared at one end of the hall. Right away, he knew. 'Huh. I guess I've done my job well so far. Now, let's see…' He thought as they approached. Once they were close enough, he could see it.

"Hmm… that expression… That's the expression of someone who's died twice in a row." He noted. "Suffice to say, you look really…" He smiled. "…unsatisfied." He let out a sigh as he prepared to fight. "Alright. How bout we make it a third?"


The human did not walk into the room though, instead they suddenly appeared before him. He knew what that meant. Judging by their body language, and that look on their face…

"Hmm… That's the expression of someone who's died eight times in a row." Sans noted. "That's the number of fingers on a spider." He knew how this was going to go though. Judging by their expression, they had died a few times, things were likely not going to change any time soon. "But soon…"


And yet, they suddenly appeared at the end of the hall. He knew that could only mean one thing, he had killed them before. Once they were close enough he could see the look on their face.

"Hmm… that expression… That's the expression of someone who's died five times in a row." Sans noted. "Convenient, huh? That's one for each finger." After five times though, he assumed they got the gist of things. "But soon…"


Though the human didn't seem to care about the laws of physics, because they suddenly appeared at the end of the hall. He knew what that meant. That was fine though, he didn't really care about the laws of physics either. Once they got close enough, he was able to see…

"Hmm… that expression… That's the expression of someone who's died seven times in a row." The human made a confused face but he had already caught his mistake and spoke up. "Nope, wait, that's definitely nine, sorry." 'I never did learn to tell those two apart very well.' "Or was it ten?" He added.


He knew the limits of his own abilities though. They stepped up to him for the first time, for him anyway, and he saw the look on their face. It was a very specific look.

'Wow, they've gone at this for quite awhile then. Well, I won't be able to keep count for long after this. Hmm. It would be convenient if I could tell the next me that he shouldn't bother reading their face, but I can't. Oh well. "Hmm… that expression… That's the expression of someone who's died ten times in a row." Sans noted. "Hey, congrats! The big one-oh! Let's invite all your friends over for a big shindig. We can have pie, and hot dogs, and… Hmm… wait. Something's not right. You don't have any friends."


They appeared ahead of him, and he could already see from this distance that they had died at least nine times. Once they approached, he saw their expression in detail. "Hmm… that expression… That's the expression of someone who died eleven times in a row. Well, give or take anyway. There's nuance to this stuff. I don't think I'll be able to count very far from here. Count for me, okay?

We'll start from 12."


"…just lay down your weapon, and, well… my job will be a lot easier."

"GRR!" *Slash* *MISS*

"Whoa, you look REALLY pissed off!" Sans exclaimed before grinning widely and winking. "Heh heh heh… did I getcha?" He couldn't keep up his smile though. "Well, if you came back anyway… I guess that means we never really were friends, huh?" He gave the monster before him a pleading look. "Don't tell that to the other sans-es, ok?"


Well, that's my thing that I wanted to write. Have a great day everyone.

DIRTY BROTHER KILLERS

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"…Do you think even the worst person can change? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?"

*Step* *Step*

"Heh heh heh heh… alright. Well, here's a better question…

Do you wanna have a bad time?"