It turned out that Jeff had a harder time adjusting to the situation than Matt did. After leaving the hospital the younger brother was confused and conflicted. It was hard knowing the person he used to be and having to live with the fact that he couldn't be that person any more. He had tried to be as independent as possible and now that was no longer an option open to him. At times he tried hard to act as he normally did, refused Matt's help and was just stubborn and unyielding in an attempt to regain some self-empowerment. That never lasted long. More often than not he would act as childish and carefree as he would dare so he just didn't have to face his new reality, this could go on for ages. He found he was moody and impulsive, his emotions unstable. He knew that the doctors were right he had regressed mentally the problem for him was that the regression was only partial and his adult self and child self were struggling to find some sort of equilibrium.
The only real comfort in the situation was that Matt seemed to mesh seamlessly into their new lifestyle. He had become his brother's only anchor and taking care of Jeff had become something natural. It was like they were younger again, there mother had just died and Matt had taken charge of the Household as he father had seemingly checked out. Jeff depended on him and all he wanted to do was to make everything better for his Younger brother. Their relationship was strange to begin with and now it was even stranger. The hospital had tried to arrange for a nurse but matt had vetoed the idea and taken everything on. The first hiccup of any kind had come almost a month after Jeff had left the hospital and was starting to really settle. For the first few weeks he had been jumpy and agitated. He would up and go to the bathroom at random intervals, sometimes several times and hour, and despite the fact that most clothing and fastenings took him ages he would lock himself up in his room when it came to dressing and undressing, refusing any help. Gradually he became more gracious about accepting help and more comfortable in his position and asking for help. Matt thought he was adjusting fairly well and so it was an unsettling when he thought he heard Jeff crying in his room one night. He heard the sound from his own room so he wasn't certain and by the time he had gotten out of bed and made his way to his brother's room it was silent.
"Jeff?" he stayed on the outside of the closed door and called out to him, not wanting to wake him if was he indeed asleep.
"Y-Yes." When he answered it was obvious he was crying and was it not for the fear in is voice Mat would have had the sense to ask Jeff to unlock the door. As it was the lock didn't do much in preventing him from entering, in fact it was hardly an obstacle. Inside he didn't see much of anything that would frighten his brother, all he saw was his huddled form shivering under his sheets.
"Jeff what's wrong?"
"Go away."
"Jeff, come on what is it."
"I can't tell you…You'd be mad."
"I promise I won't be mad. I just want know what's wrong so I can make it better, and I can't do that if you don't tell me."
"The bed's wet." And before Matt had a chance to respond Jeff was crying again. It was an effort to pry they bed sheet from Jeff's fingers and when he pulled it off Jeff simply curled into himself, refusing to look at him. Matt had to stifle a sigh.
"Jeff, look at me. I'm not mad you. It was an accident, these things happen and it probably won't be the last time. All we can do right now is get you cleaned up and back to sleep."
Matt was able to coax Jeff out from the ball he had twisted himself into. His pants and the bottom half of his shirt were soaked, and there were Goosebumps raised on his arms. He let matt undress him, he was clearly more embarrassed than he had been in a long time if the blush on his face was anything to go by. All Matt could do was b as quick and indifferent as possible. When he pulled down his boxers he figured out the source of the accident; one of the side tabs had detached and the diaper had partially fallen away. Before he had a chance to detach the other side it fell to the ground with a squelch.
"Oh my God, I can't take this." Jeff said crying again.
"Matt, I'm sorry. It's just so hard. And I try I really do but…" despite the state he was in Matt pulled Jeff in for a hug
"Jeff, it's not your fault. You went to bed earlier than usual, I should have checked to see if you needed to be changed before I went to sleep."
"I shouldn't need to be changed at all."
"Maybe you shouldn't. But for now you need to be. I don't want you to be embarrassed about it. I'm your big brother, when mom died I told you that I would always be there to take care of you, so that's what I'm doing."
He kissed Jeff's forehead and took him into the bathroom .He used a few of Jeff's wipes to swipe him down and remove the stickiness from his skin. Jeff didn't respond in any way but he had stopped crying. He draped his bath robe over his shoulders and taking his hand led him from the bathroom. After surveying the scene for a moment matt spoke again.
"I'll get you dressed in my room and you can just sleep with me tonight"
Jeff nodded and yawned behind his hand. When he looked up pouting, Matt knew that he was dealing with the childish Jeff and not the antagonistic adult version.
"Mattie can you carry me? I'm too tired." Before Matt could answer Jeff had already jumped up and wrapped his legs around his waist and all he could do was react and hold him there.
"Jeff you're freezing."
"Mmm"
"How long were you like that?"
"I don't know…a while."
"If it ever happens again just call out to me. Okay."
"Yes Matt."
Once they got to Matt's room, Jeff let himself be diapered once more and dressed in his brother's clothes. By the time Matt was done Jeff was a dead weight. After pulling the covers out from under him, he joined him in bed. More tired than he thought because he too was out as soon as his head touched the pillow.
