A/N: A majority of this chapter deals with adult themes, discussion of difficult medical situations, and contains a love scene. That scene is in italics if you wish to skip it.
Chapter Two
"Eddie Reagan," the nurse called at 5:15 pm Tuesday.
Jamie rose and let Eddie lead the way back to the conference room where they had originally met with a panel of doctors to discuss Eddie's ability to make love. Drs. Camden, O'Dell, and Shim were very helpful in that endeavor and Jamie and Eddie both hoped they would be again.
"How are you, Eddie?" Dr. Camden asked. "You look much better than the last time I saw you."
"Thanks, I feel good," Eddie smiled and greeted her other doctors. Jamie shook their hand then sat down with Eddie's hand in his.
"So, you are interested in trying to have a baby," Dr. O'Dell began. It was after all her territory. "And you want to know the risks and implications given your limitations Eddie."
Eddie nodded her head, "My best friend is a C8 and she just gave birth rather easily to a beautiful little boy. Jamie was wanted children forever and I want to have a baby too. Jamie's nervous and I would like to know what I might be getting into as well."
"First things first," Dr. O'Dell replied. "Eddie your body is capable of becoming pregnant and carrying a fetus. How long that fetus could be carried and the impact of Eddie's health overall will be the concern. There are a number of systems involved, more than what is represented here. Dr. Shim has done a composite study of Eddie's skeletal structure, we'll start there."
The orthopedist placed Eddie's latest bone scans on the screen. Jamie's eyes went right to the bright spots along her pelvis and thigh bones. "Her arthritis is worse." Jamie stated it and slid his arm around Eddie.
"Yes, through the pelvis especially," Dr Shim replied. "The spine as well, this vertebrae, from the injury on down to the sacrum, all of this is showing signs of deterioration."
"I'm not having any pain, any increased nerve pain usually throws up my AD pretty well until we get it regulated," Eddie replied.
"Yes, Eddie's been really well lately," Jamie replied. "She's moving really well, and she's doing terrific in therapy." Jamie was always proud of Eddie's accomplishments, and she was always learning something new or how to do something better.
"It's not necessarily going to cause you pain now," Dr. Shim replied. "But if you add the increased weight of the pregnancy to this fragile girdle, there is a significant chance that your vertebrae could collapse and the pelvis could shatter or dislodge."
"Would that harm the baby if it happened while I was carrying?" Eddie asked.
"What would that do for Eddie long term?" Jamie asked. It was clear where the divide was.
"Eddie, would heal eventually but Dr. Camden a pelvic fracture and her autonomic dysreflexia that would pose a significant problem, cause unsafe spikes in blood pressure," Dr Shim replied.
"Yes, it would and the AD episodes that can come from this could cause the usual seizures, stroke, ruptures of blood vessels and to a fetus…it can cause early labor, miscarriage, and still birth."
"That's not to say with careful monitoring that a pregnancy can't be successful," Dr. O'Dell replied. "But with these results Eddie, and your small stature, pregnancy could be a difficult process."
"So, what are you saying?" Jamie asked. "We should not do this, we should just consider adoption."
"There is risk," Dr. O'Dell replied. "But there are no guarantees that these things will happen or not. I would certainly agree to your trying and then monitor Eddie carefully but if she did encounter one of the harsher complications my colleagues are speaking of it would risk the baby and it would risk Eddie. I can't put numbers on it for you, Jamie. I know that's what you want to hear."
"What I would really like to hear is the same as my wife, yes you can do this, no harm, no foul…" Jamie replied. "But in the absence of that, I would appreciate some bedside manner while we are hearing these facts. This is very close to our hearts and if it's this hard for me to hear this…" Jamie pulled Eddie closer to try to absorb some of the shock. Still, the cop in Eddie made her probe deeper.
Eddie bit her lip, this was not going the way she had hoped. "Dr. Shim, how possible is it that this happens if I watch my diet and keep the weight gain down. My friend Melissa had to do that and she had a perfect baby. She has pelvic deficits too."
"Weight control could definitely reduce complications," Dr Shim agreed. "Eddie, we aren't saying not to do this, you wanted a picture of the risks. There is the bone stimulator that can help to strengthen the bones, in fact I recommend that anyway. You can face the fracture of your spine and pelvis without pregnancy if it continues."
"There's a few medications you can take for the blood pressure and if you were pregnant, I could work with Dr. O'Dell and find the right balance," Dr. Camden replied.
"There is a specialist," Dr. O'Dell replied. "Dr. Kelley Eisenberg, she's a fellow at Columbia Presbyterian and specializes in high risk pregnancies. Personally, I know she has coached three quadriplegics through pregnancy and has delivered many babies from patients with history of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, even with Lou Gehrig's disease. Those patients are particularly fragile."
"And the outcomes for the mothers?" Jamie asked feeling sickened at what he was hearing.
"With one exception of a diabetic developing kidney failure at the two year mark, very good. I can give you a referral to get in to see her," Dr. O'Dell replied. "Also, Dr. Gerard Angelli, he's a reproductive endocrinologist and specializes in artificial insemination and surrogacy. You can see him for an opinion on that front.'
Jamie and Eddie left the appointment in very different places than they had been before. Jamie was slightly more encouraged that there was a specialist they could speak to and Eddie was angry at once again being analyzed instead of spoken to. This was the most important thing a woman could do and even that was a challenge for her involving many doctors and scientific protocols.
Eddie looked up at Jamie, "Can you call Dr. Eisenberg's office so we can consult with her. I think she's going to be a better judge of whether we should try this or not that the Gloompeddling three in there."
"Eddie, those "gloom peddlers" are you physicians," Jamie sighed. "They know your body and your individual case, but I agree they were a lot more negative than they needed to be to tell us they didn't know if it was a good idea or not."
"Well, I'm sure they'll share my records with the new doctor," Eddie replied. "Jamie, please do this for me. Please investigate this with me. I want a child, your child…"
Jamie gave Eddie a strong hug, he could see she was battling with her emotions and that tugged at his heart, "I want that too. Let's see what this new doctor says, but let's also explore all our options too. This is our dream, okay? We'll make it work."
Eddie nodded but one look at his wife's face and was not surprised to see tears still he asked, "Why are you crying? I'm not telling you we can't have a baby, I just want to make sure we make the right choice. I'll call the doctor tomorrow, first thing."
"Jamie, it's just…" Eddie sniffled. "Nothing in my life is normal. I can't do anything like a regular woman and I want to do this thing with you, like everyone else. We couldn't have a first dance at our wedding. We couldn't feed each other cake and mess up each other's face. I can't hold you in my arms when you make love to me…let me try, please Jamie. Let us keep asking questions until we know!"
It was decided that Eddie's words were the final ones for now. Even Jamie could not deny he wanted that baby. He wanted to see Eddie grow round with his child, feel that life created by nothing but their love move between their bodies. He wanted to hold that child and have that piece of his wife if Heaven forbid it she was taken too soon.
Eddie made that point more than once, they didn't know how long she had. Jamie had a hard time thinking about that.
"You want to have a shower or a bath tonight?" Jamie asked as bedtime approached. He knew the conversation was about to turn back to their dilemma any minute.
"Bath," Eddie replied. She and Jamie always had their best conversations when he was helping her bathe.
Jamie smiled and began to prepare the tub and then Eddie. He carefully removed her clothing and placed a kiss on her lips. "You know that this has nothing to do with how much I love you."
"I know," Eddie replied. "I just want a chance, just a chance."
Jamie lowered Eddie into the water and started working on her hair. "I know and I love you all the more for it, Angel. It's not that I don't want to take this chance with you, I just don't want to risk you."
"I understand…Darn it, Jamie, why can't we even fight like a normal couple…"
Jamie smiled, "Because when we disagree it comes from love. Now I have an idea, we'll go see Dr. Eisenberg and we'll see Dr. Angelli and we'll see a friend of mine from law school that specialized in adoptions. His name is Jim Murphy, he's one of the best in private placement adoptions. Then when we have all the facts, we'll make and informed decision we can both feel good about."
Eddie smiled, "So you aren't ruling out my carrying our baby then?"
"No, I'm not…I know how much you want it and there is nothing I would like more…but not if it means I lose you. I can't…"
"You won't," Eddie assured him. "You won't…"
Eddie reached up and slapped at Jamie's cheek pulling him down for a kiss. She opened her mouth to receive him speaking through her kiss as she often did. Since Eddie wasn't able to use most of her body during love making, she poured everything she had into her kiss.
Sooner than Eddie knew it, he had her in his arms, carrying her fresh from her bath to their bed, their lips never parting. Tugging back the covers, Jamie pressed Eddie down to sit on the bed propped against the headboard. Her feet were like ice, which often happened after a bath. Jamie didn't mind so much, it gave him even more of an excuse to touch her soft skin. Jamie wrapped his hands around one at a time, massaging gently describing his actions until Eddie made a soft sound that was half moan and half sigh. The water made Eddie's skin gleam like ivory, the cool air made her assets tighten. Jamie always marveled at what he body could do on pure instinct. There were so many things…
Today had been full with emotion, want and desire of another kind and now after they had both released their tension, Jamie's body was aching for Eddie's. Eddie watched Jamie approach, his tongue moistening his lips. She wanted him so much, his hand, his mouth, his hard chisled body.
Jamie leaned over Eddie; he could see in her expressive eyes she was his for the taking. Jamie slid beneath the covers and pressed his body against Eddie's. She shut her eyes engaging her imagination, the pressure, the warmth, the static of rough hair on smooth skin. Though Eddie and Jamie had never made love when her body could feel, her mind and her heart more than made up for it.
Jamie's lips found Eddie's throat and her head arched back causing her body to brush harder against Jamie's. Jamie spent a long time on Eddie's neck, face and chest working to make sure she felt loved. Eddie whimpered at the searing heat of Jamie's kiss. How could he affect her so when most of her was numb to his touch? Love, pure and simple was the answer. Eddie's head thrashed on the pillow so much so Jamie had to hold it still to take her lips in another molten hot kiss. Tonight was about love, God yes, he always made sure of that, but it was about passion too.
"Look at me, Angel," Jamie whispered as Eddie forced her eyes to open. Jamie's eyes were a fiery blue, the heat and the passion were emanating from the blue orbs. "I love you."
"I love you," Eddie gasped shutting her eyes again. She could hear Jamie's grunts and moans as he kissed her all over. Eddie moaned with pleasure, recalling how it felt to be touched this way. So much of their life this way was memories and imagination but yet, each time they experienced love making, both reached a more satisfying conclusion than the time before. Tonight was no different.
Jamie felt Eddie's body stretch to accommodate him, another thing her body could do involuntarily that it would not do if she tried to command it. These little revelations were not new but they made this act all the more special to them both.
Eddie's arms clamped down as she used her shoulders and elbows to hold Jamie close and tight. Jamie slid his hands under her bottom and together they formed a rhythm one could only describe as frantic, frenzied and convulsive. Groaning and gasping for breath, Jamie pushed into Eddie's body, and felt his own give way inside of her with pulses of fire flowing between them. This was magic, pure magic for both of them.
When it was over, Jamie held Eddie, her body shaking while the unconscious tremors faded. Jamie's quick hard breathing feathered Eddie's face as he willed his pulse to slow. "Are you okay?" Eddie asked as she felt her husband's body shake as much as her own was.
"Yes," Jamie sighed still trying to catch his breath. "I'm more than okay. I love you so much Eddie, I love how you are when we make love…I…"
"I love you too, sweetheart," Eddie replied. "And I know that we have a lot to talk about, a lot to work on…Today we were just too…"
"I agree," Jamie replied. "When it comes to losing you…"
'I know," Eddie sympathized. "I know, I feel that fear too…We'll figure this out okay? We'll figure it all out together. I want to give you everything I can…just like you always give me."
"Eddie, all I need is lying here in my arms at this very moment," Jamie replied and kissed her nose. He didn't understand how true that statement was.
A/N: Thanks so much for the wonderful response to this story so far. As I stated, the first half of this story is heavy on medical information both for Eddie and a woman Jamie will encounter next chapter. I do not recommend that chapter if you are sensitive to pregnancy loss later in the term.
Next Update – January 31st – Jamie and Marcus face the toughest call of their careers.
