Chapter 1: Kirby Comes to Cappy Town! Part 1

Tiff, Tuff and I all ran towards the castle in a hurry. We'd seen the cappies run up to the drawbridge and demand to be let into the castle, and that did not seem good. So, we just leapt into action like some heroes in an anime!

... I really need to stop breaking the fourth wall.

We got across the drawbridge just before the people on the inside closed it up. Looking closely at the troops patrolling around the castle, I saw that they were freaking WADDLE DEES. What gets more awesome than that? Also, who the heck lived in this castle?

A sneaking suspicion came into my mind, but I dismissed it. It wouldn't be that bad, would it?

"Oh, Emmy?" Tiff called as we were walking to... wherever we were going. "In case you're wondering, this is Castle Dedede. Us and our parents live here."

Wait one second.

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DONE.

... KING FUCKING DEDEDE?

Also...

"You live in a freaking castle?" I yelled. Some of the Waddle Dees looked at us, then carried on with their business. Tiff sighed.

"Yes, yes we do. Please don't freak out about it!"

"Tiff, who iz... Dis?" A voice called. Sounded Mexican and kind of vampiric actually. We turned to see the all-powerful...

(If you guess who it is you get a cookie)

Meta Knight! Also now available on a Dedede statue!

Being the strange fangirl that I am, I did the only plausible thing.

Fainted.


I awoke in a strange room. There was one wall which was dominated by a window, and the wind was blowing pink curtains towards my direction. I was lying on one of those L-shaped settees, with a light green blanket over me. There was a well-worn coffee table with brown stains and coasters on, and in the corner there was a table set up for four people.

As I wearily propped myself up, finding a small, very comfy pillow under me, Tuff came into the room eating a chocolate bar. He glanced at me, then yelled through a door, "Hey Tiff! Emmy's awake!"

I groaned and clutched my head. I've never fainted before, but I've had a migraine enough times for my brain to instinctively HATE any loud noises when I wake up. Glaring towards where Tuff was standing, I stumbled out of the makeshift bed and nearly fell over.

A tall woman in a pink dress and a bouquet of flowers in her hand walked quickly towards me. Following her were Tiff, who was holding a big brown cardboard box, and a guy dressed like an olden time judge.

"Oh!" The woman cried out, smiling warmly. "So you must be Tiff's and Tuff's friend. I am Lady Like their mother, and this is my husband."

"Sir Ebrum's the name, and it's jolly nice to meet you," the judge dude replied, beaming, somehow in an over exaggerated British accent. Now, I'm just going to say, as I am actually a Manchester person (not everyone's from London), I do not like over exaggerated British accents. Now I know sometimes I get a bit too annoyed, but let me say this: Once, in the Life of Zack and Cody or some other thing like that, they visit England. Long story short, according to the producers, English people are;

Obsessed with Croquet.

Love Sherlock Holmes (But seriously, who doesn't?)

Have a really over exaggerated accent.

Say things like "Jolly Hockey sticks" "Oh blast it" Or "Would you care to join me for a cup of tea?

I know I'm probably going off on a tangent, but I was thinking Oh God either this guy is taking the mick or he's British.

"Heya Emmy!" Tiff smiled. She was holding a box full of pictures, and appeared to be sorting through them, throwing some of them into another box which had strange squiggles on. I refrained from asking what the hell she was doing, and instead just went for the obvious.

"What the heck happened?"

Tiff set the box down, and jumped up on the couch, her smile receding slightly. "Well, we were going back to here," she said, gesturing around the place. Huh. This is their place? Thought it'd be bigger, being in a freaking castle and all. "And then you started freaking out about the fact we lived in a castle. Then Meta Knight showed up, and you fainted for some reason. Then he helped us drag you over here, where we found our mom and dad, and then we put you on the sofa, and well... you know the rest."

I thought for a moment, taking it all in. "Wait, what about the very angry cappie mob we saw?"

Her eyes widened. Seems like they forgot about it. Her mother and father glanced at her questioningly, but then she just grabbed then and flung open the door on the far side of the room.

"Tiff, where are we going?" Her mother called as she was dragged along the corridor. Tuff and I gave each other The Look, then both raced after them. I think it finally devolved from running after them to seeing who could knock over the most Waddle Dees. Tuff put up a good fight with 203, but in a fighting pose I managed to knock over 578, summoning the wrath of a rather pissed-looking Waddle Doo who was being followed by an infinite number of Waddle Dees. Scared as shit, I ran after Tuff who shoved me through a door we just noticed Tiff and her parents run through.

We arrived in a big throne room. There were huge stone pillars and a massive oaken door that could've fitted about fifty me's through. In front of the giant freaking door, were standing a group of Cappies who actually had pitchforks and torches. Jeez, what, were they in medieval times or something? Next to them, was a... snail... thing... I shivered. I absolutely detested snails. Once, my friend and I were in a park, and I found a snail slithering along my right arm. Disgusted, I had flicked it off, but a snail army came wandering after me. Very slowly, but still.

The snail appeared to be yelling something. "Monster? There's no monster here!"

"Yes there is!" One of the villagers replied. "It's big and scary and eats everything in sight!"

"That's King Dedede!" The snail yelled, grabbing Waddle Doo's spear and hitting the villager over the head with it. "There's no monster, now go back to your homes so His Majesty can finish his supper in peace!"

"Hey, wait a minute Escargoon!" Tiff called, running towards the oversized snail. Escargoon? I thought, sniffling a chuckle. How fitting. "How do we know you're not lying again?"

Tuff and I jogged up, the former saying, "Yeah! Like you usually do!"

Escargoon turned to us, a smirk on his face. He then glared at Tiff and Tuff, but looked slight surprised at me. No wonder, considering I was the only person here with legs.

"You have no right to speak to me that way." He literally growled. No, seriously. It was like he was impersonating a dog. "Your parents should slap you silly."

Tiff turned to where Sir Ebrum was now standing. "Papa, there's something funny going on here."

I nodded. "Sir Ebrum, I haven't been here this long, and even I can see that probably giant monsters aren't supposed to wander round the castle!"

Some of the cappies glanced at me in surprise. One of them muttered to the other next to him "How did she know that?"

I shot a glare at them. "What? Just coz' I'm new, doesn't mean I'm not observant."

Probably shouldn't mention I saw people debating the first episode in a lp of a game they're supposed to be in on YouTube.

Sir Ebrum put a hand to his chin and made it appear as if he were thinking deeply. "You might be right Tiff. A monster is the kind of thing Dedede would love."

Escargoon looked like he was about to explode, his face turning red as beetroot.

"The King must be behind this!" Lady Like exclaimed, gesturing with her hands wildly. Finally, Escargoon turned a very deep shade of red and started waving the spear at them.

"You're a court official!" He practically screamed. "How dare you accuse His Royal Highness!" Turning towards what appeared to be a throne on the far side of the room, he smiled sickeningly and called in a sing-song voice, "Want me to book them a two-week stay in the dungeon sweet Kingy?"

I backed away. "Woah, overkill dude." I mean, there was dealing with something, and then there was overkill. Like, throwing a bomb at someone, slicing them with a knife, whacking them into a tree then more slicing with a meat cleaver was overkill. And also was locking someone up for a fortnight in a fucking dungeon just for insulting someone?

The throne at the far end swivelled round, revealing...

Da Da Da Daaaaaaa!

King Dedede.

Hoorah.

Laughing pompously, he looked at the cappies and said, "Monster huh? Would the monster happen to look like that?"

He pointed towards a rather cramped fish tank. A small, pinkish octopus with deathly green eyes was staring at us all innocently, blowing out some air bubbles. The cappies started to freak out, saying, "That's it! That's the monster! Only it was a hundred times bigger!"

Dedede laughed again. "Well, as you can see, this ain't no monster, it's just my new pet octopus. And the only thing he likes to eat is sardines!" Great, he was just as annoying in the anime as he was in the games. Also, he had a kind of Texan accent. And he pulled that sardine from- ew. Hold that thought. "Lil' fella wouldn't hurt a fly 'less it was on the end of a fishhook!" And with that, he walked away, laughing yet again. Jesus, I know he was the antagonist but did he have to be so goddamn annoying?

Escargoon turned back to the villagers. "Of course it wouldn't. Now get out! Go back to your trailer park so the king can have his dessert. Go on, poof your gone!"

He continued like this while Tiff ran to inspect the Octopus further. On second thoughts, I ran after her, just in time to see the octopus shoot a death glare at Tiff. Seriously, he even had one of those tick-y things on his head!


After that, we left the throne room with the cappies to avoid getting accidentally decapitated by Escargoon. They'd been mumbling worriedly to themselves, and Lady Like and Sir Ebrum were trying to get them to cheer up. Tiff leant against the wall, thinking hard. I slumped against the ground, tired as hell. I'd been about to sleep before I landed in the place that was suddenly noon, and I do not handle sleep deprivation well. Though the slight nap earlier had helped me, I was a heavy sleeper. Tuff lay down next to me. He was a nice kid, despite being a bit loud and rude. To make us stay entertained, we saw how many Waddle Dees we could each count. It wasn't that many before Tiff spoke up.

"Hey, I know what we can do! Why don't we go to Kabu?"

"Was that intentionally a rhyme, or do you do that all the time?" I asked, glancing at the now enthusiastic girl.

"I don't know what you mean, it would seem," she frowned at me. Looking at her with a straight face, I suddenly bopped her on the nose.

"Look's like I got more from this room well-lit, because everyone else plays like-"

Tiff's mum and dad interrupted me, Sir Ebrum giving me a hard glance. "Yes, I think we should go to Kabu. He will surely know what is going on here."

Whelp, I had nothing better to do, so we went out merry way to Cappy Town. Stupid name for a town, but the majority of people who lived there were cappies. After passing through a giant signboard, we made it to the centre of town, where it seemed like a blue ball and a red ball were arguing with some bird. We walked up to them and Tuff called out, "Fololo! Falala!"

The two floaty things looked at us, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Hi guys, why are you here? And who's your friend? And why does she look so weird?"

I had to avoid trying to hit them with some pebbles I found on the ground so that Tuff could answer their stupid questions.

"We're off the see Kabu about the monster!" He called. "This is Emmy, and I have no idea."

Tiff facepalmed, sighed, then replied, "Look, please don't insult someone. It's not nice. Also, I have no idea."

I reckon I looked pretty miffed, as the two floaty things came right down and apologised to me. "Sorry, 'bout that, didn't mean anything personal. I'm Fololo, and this is Falala. Nice to meet you, Emmy!"

"Nice to meet you too, though why does everyone keep looking at me weirdly? I'm not the only one that has legs."

Tiff gave me a strange look. "Um... Emmy? It's not your legs..."

I glared at them, then noticed a near-by puddle. Walking up to it, I got the shock of my life.

My eyes, which were usually a light blue, had turned different colours; one black, one blood-red, and they were cartoonishly big, though not as big as Tiff's or Lady Like's. My pitch-black hair now had green and yellow streaks running through it. I also appeared to have black eye shadow around my red eye, and red eye shadow around my black eye. My nose had completely vanished, and my cheekbones were now jutting out, giving me an unforgiving look. Jeez, I was surprised that Tiff and Tuff hadn't run away from me at first sight.

"Emmy? We really should be going now," Tiff called. Reluctantly, I turned around and ran up to where the others had gotten. In the time I'd been staring at my reflection, they'd gathered quite the mob.

"Well, shall we a-go?" I replied, smiling widely. Tiff took that as a sign that I wouldn't slaughter them, and she took off. The walk to Kabu wasn't particularly interesting, but I managed to find some things out about the villagers.

One, they were Xenophobic.

No, really, I heard some of them muttering, "Don't like outsiders..." And other shit like that. Either they were really Xenophobic, or I just naturally made people afraid of me. That's way different than back when I was in the Real World. Loads of people used to tease me for being a gamer girl, and watching other people play video games. Actually, some of the boys in my class thought I was sexy as hell coz I played video games. When I told them it was games like Kirby, Okami, Legend of Zelda, Pokémon and other stuff like that, and Not CoD, they, like all the rest, thought I was a freak. I wasn't naturally intimidating, so having people be afraid of me was weird.

Finally, we arrived at where Kabu was. It was a large, apparently wooden structure not unlike the statues found in Easter island. Tiff started talking to it, holding out her hands.

"Kabu, we need your help. A monster has been terrorizing this land, and we don't know what to do!"

A thought ran through my head. Just catch it, Kill it. It was obviously the octopus, and I don't know why there were so goddamn blind not to see it.

"So this is why you come to see me, with this stranger from planets far be."

Some of the cappies glanced at me, but then turned their attention back to Kabu as he started talking again.

"There is nothing you can do, but the monster's expiry date is soon due. A warrior named Kirby of the Stars, will aide you by coming from afar."

Biting my lip so as not to mention Kabu didn't rhyme, I listened as Tiff began speaking again. "But who's Kirby, and when will he get here?"

"Heed my word you small cappies," Kabu replied, "For these words are the key; when Dedede appears, all will be clear."

More. Non. Rhyming. Words. Even. Though. They're. Obviously. Intended. To. Rhyme. Really. Bothers. Me.

I hate this world.

Tiff stared at Kabu in confusion. "But what-"

"Ah'm getting tired of you cappies tryin' ta mess stuff up!" a voice called from the edge of where Kabu was placed. King Dedede and Escargoon were seated in what looked like a military car, and Dedede had his finger on the trigger of a massive weapon.

I looked at Tiff, who looked devastated, then back at Dedede, who had an evil smile on his face.

"Well, there goes my weekend."

Next Chapter...

"That's Kirby?" Tuff remarked. "Look's kinda pink and poofy."

"The best way to a Kirby's heart is through the stomach," I grinned, feeding Kirby some more hamburgers, which he happily gulped down.

"Emmy... I want you to have dis," Meta Knight said, brandishing a silver sword at me. I stared at him in shock, my eyes wide.

"I name this sword... Tsukuyomi!" I cheered, lifting up the blade. The others glanced at me, rolling their eyes. "What? I like Okami!"