Author's Note: Thanks for the response to the first chapter! I know the synopsis says three- or four-shot, but it might wind up being longer than that. Enjoy! And please review!
Four hours later…
That Castle couldn't sleep wasn't anything new. He had lost count of how many times over the years he had pulled all-nighters when writing. He'd started the habit in college, like so many others, but while they were studying for chemistry finals and working on research papers, he had been writing his first bestseller.
But this was different. He sat at his desk, empty scotch glass in his hand. The bottle was on his desk; when he got home, it was almost full. Now it was roughly half empty. The stubble on Castle's cheeks itched, and he could still feel that gun pressed against his side. He almost died earlier that night, should have died.
What did saving his life accomplish? Sure, Dick Coonan was dead, and there was reason to celebrate that fact, but Coonan could've been a gateway to answers. Answers Detective Beckett desperately wanted. Yet she chose to save Castle instead.
Why?
Castle shook his head, pouring himself another drink before downing it in one gulp. The burn down his throat made him hiss, and he almost missed the tentative knock at his door. In fact, Castle was sure he had imagined it at first. After all, he could feel the alcohol in his bloodstream; between that and the stress of the day, maybe he had been imagining things.
But the knock came again, harder and more insistent this time. Castle set down his glass with a sigh and rose from his chair, cringing when both of his knees protested. He wasn't getting old; really, he wasn't. But once he left his office and crossed to the front door of the loft, Castle was sure his eyes were playing tricks on him.
Because no way Detective Beckett was standing at his door.
He swallowed thickly, dumbfounded. "Beckett."
Her eyes lifted to meet his, red and puffy. "Hey, Castle."
The sight of Kate at his door, emotional and raw, had Castle wondering if he'd dozed off at his desk and was dreaming. He cleared his throat and forced himself to move, pulling the door open even more. "Come in," he offered, shutting the door behind Kate once she stepped through the threshold.
As Castle made his way back to his office, he knew she was following. A jolt of fear ran through him once he saw the glass and bottle on the desk, cringing as he hurried to put them away before Kate could see them. He didn't know much about her father's battle with alcohol, but he knew that he didn't want her to see him drinking right now. He felt guilty enough as it was.
"So," Kate said once she shut the door to Castle's office behind her, "you couldn't sleep either?"
"No," he admitted, turning to face her again. "I just…that tape keeps playing in my head."
Kate ducked her head. "Me too."
"Something's not right." Castle cringed as soon as he said it, because if anything ever felt like stating the obvious, that was it. "What I mean is…it feels like you're just starting to read a new book, then you flip to the last page and spoil the ending."
Kate sank into one of the chairs across from Castle's desk, her shoulders slumped far more than he was used to seeing. Her hands cradled together in her lap, and the detective ducked her head to stare at them – because she was afraid if she looked at Castle for too much longer, the emotion would well up inside her again and she'd lose control.
Katherine Beckett couldn't afford to lose control. Not now. Not with everything seeming to unravel right before her eyes. Whatever selfish satisfaction she took in knowing the man who stuck a knife in her mother was gone had been replaced by hurt and shame and confusion and anger.
Mostly anger. Anger at herself for not doing more to keep Dick Coonan alive. Anger at her shadow. Anger at her boss for what appeared to be his duplicity. Not all of her anger was logical, she granted, but she felt it anyway.
"I was just thinking," she sniffled and shook her head, finally forcing herself to look at Castle, "there's still so much we don't know."
Castle nodded. "Too many unanswered questions."
"And as much as I'd like to walk right into Bracken's office tomorrow and slap the cuffs on him," Kate continued with another shake of her head, "his lawyers will rip our case to shreds and my career would be ruined."
"Beckett..."
"And what about Roy?" Her voice rose as she spoke, springing out of the chair and shrugging her shoulders as she paced. "What does he have to do with all of this? And why the hell wouldn't he tell me what he knew?!"
By now, Kate was standing directly in front of Castle, staring up at him with red, tear-brimmed eyes. Castle froze, stopping himself from reaching out to offer a comforting touch. They weren't like that, despite feelings that had developed on his end in recent weeks and months. She had shown a great deal of trust in coming to Castle's loft at this late hour, and he didn't want to make her regret that decision.
"He said he did it to protect you," Castle offered. "Protect you from what?"
Kate shrugged and swiped at a tear. "Coonan? Bracken?"
"We need to listen to that tape again." The words were out of Castle's mouth before he could stop them, and he watched for Kate's reaction before elaborating. Much to his relief, all she did was quirk a brow. "We got the Cliff's Notes version, Beckett. Between the shock of it all and you talking to Montgomery, there might be details we missed."
"Great." Kate shrugged. "Let's listen to the tape again. Where is it?"
Castle cringed. "Still at the precinct."
Kate huffed a sigh of exhaustion and fatigue, sinking back in the chair and raking her fingers through her hair. If Castle looked closely enough, he could still see the blood on her palms, from when she tried to resuscitate Coonan. The memory made his gut churn far more than the image; Castle still couldn't believe Kate chose him over answers, and he still wasn't convinced he deserved it.
"For all we know," Kate shook her head, "he destroyed that tape after we left."
Castle sat in the chair beside Kate's. "I don't think so." When Kate shot him a glare of confusion, Castle shrugged. "That tape has been at your desk the entire time, Beckett. And I saw the look on his face when we found it. He knew what we had found."
"I knew it." Kate clenched her jaw before bolting out of her chair again, pacing back and forth to the point where she was starting to wear a path in Castle's carpet. Her hands rubbed together, and she almost looked as if she had to keep moving to keep everything together. It was by far the most vulnerable he had ever seen her.
"I knew it wasn't gang violence," she spat through gritted teeth.
"So either Detective Raglan was incompetent," Castle offered, "or he was hiding something."
Kate shook her head and balled her hands into fists. "Maybe he was in on it too."
"Or he was trying to protect you, just like Montgomery."
"I don't need protection!" Kate whirled around to look Castle in the eye, her eyes wide. "I need a lead!"
"And we have one." Castle stood and cautiously approached his partner, so out of his realm in seeing her this way. Against his better judgment, Castle placed a hand on Kate's shoulder, exhaling with relief when she didn't recoil. Instead, she looked up at him again, her eyes as red as he'd ever seen. "You need to talk to Roy. Now that you have the tape, it's too late for him to protect you."
"What about you, Rick?" There was no animosity in her voice, as there often had been whenever she used his first name. "You didn't sign up for this."
"It's my fault we're in this mess," Castle admitted, squeezing Kate's shoulder and shaking his head before she could interrupt. "I overstepped. If it wasn't for me –"
"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have found my mom's killer," Kate insisted, stepping toward Castle and staring into his eyes. "And hopefully soon, I'll take down the son of bitch who had Coonan kill her." Her eyes averted briefly. "And I'd like you around when I do."
Castle blinked. As far as he could remember, that was the first time Kate had actually expressed a desire to have him around. No verbal sparring, no jabs at his character. Granted, they hadn't been nearly as vicious as they had been when he first started shadowing her, but Castle couldn't help but wonder: did she mean that, or was the emotion of the day getting the better of her.
"And if you tell anyone what I'm about to say, there's gonna be another shooting," Kate smiled a little; that was the sort of banter Castle was used to, "but…I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun."
Castle smiled, the first genuine expression of the day. "Your secret's safe with me." He let go of Kate's shoulder. "And I'll do whatever you want me to do. Even if it's nothing."
"Come with me tomorrow." The words were out of Kate's mouth before she could stop them. "We'll talk to Montgomery together."
"You think we should talk to Raglan too?"
"I won't rule it out," Kate admitted with a shake of her head. "Depends on what Roy tells us."
Montgomery's office…
The last thing Roy Montgomery wanted to do was go home. Even though staying in his office overnight meant incurring Evelyn's wrath, it beat the alternative. The standoff earlier that night that resulted in Dick Coonan's death brought with it a mountain of paperwork, and Roy knew day-long meetings at One PP were in his future.
But the aftermath, in which his best detective began uncovering his most closely-guarded secret, was what had Montgomery in hiding. Everything was about to unravel, and Roy was in the process of getting himself to accept the fact that his career was likely over.
Montgomery pulled a flip phone out of his desk, about to make a series of phone calls that he dreaded. But before Roy could do that, the phone rang.
He didn't recognize the number, but a shiver of dread still ran down Montgomery's spine.
"Hello?"
"We had a deal, Roy."
"We still do."
"No, we don't. Not after your pet detective gunned down Coonan."
"Look," Montgomery sighed, "we didn't ask for this case to link back to Coonan."
"But she didn't back off once it did, Roy. Not only that, but she had that little writer monkey of hers pony up the dough. Not to mention the little matter of her shooting one of my best operatives dead, right in the middle of the precinct. I could have both your badges for that."
"You wouldn't dare." Roy sat up straighter, gritting his teeth. "You have too much to lose."
"Not as much as you."
The line went dead before Montgomery could respond.
