One day while we were visiting the doorbell rang and there he stood before my eyes. Our eyes meet and it was like I was struck by lighting. I felt a slow blush reaching my cheeks. We both turned away unsure where to look. "How may I help you?" I didn't know why this man was here. He finally introduced himself as Walter Skinner and that he was Dana's and Fox's boss and he wishes to speak with Maggie. After my initial shock, I remembered my manners and invited him in. I was excited about the possibility of receiving good news. I asked that he make himself comfortable in the living room while I went to wake Maggie. Thankfully Bill was in town to get the groceries for the weekend so Walter was spared his rudeness.
"I am Tara, Dana's sister-in-law; it's nice to meet you Mister Skinner." He gave a shy smile, "Walter, please" he shook my hand. Maggie came out and sat with Walter, they spoke in hushed tones. I tried to keep from fidgeting but the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't allow it. He said to Maggie that he received word that Laura and Robert Petrie where fine and would come out to see her as soon as they could. Maggie's eyes became wet with unshed tears and hugged Walter. After 2 hours and many stolen glances, he was departing. I offered to walk him to the door… "Tara, um.. it was nice seeing you again, the next time you're in town.. Would you like to join me for coffee?.. er I mean Maggie too, she can come." I swear he was blushing. I told him that I would love to.
Home life became lonely. To the outside world we were the perfect happily married couple, with the white picket fence and perfect children. We played our roles well. As a Captain's wife I made sure I was there to kiss him goodbye whenever he had to shove off via the "USS Seahawk" that damn boat, more like his mistress. If he wasn't on the boat, he was living in his office in San Diego. One day I decided to drive back by Maggie's and before I lost my nerve, I called Walter on my way. I said that I was in the area and would like to take him up on his coffee offer. He happily agreed. We met at a playground far enough away from Maggie's prying eyes. Walter seemed much more relaxed and laughed at my silly jokes. "I hope you don't think I am out of line, but you are very beautiful, er I mean you have a beautiful laugh" He was blushing again and so was I. It has been a long time since I was called beautiful. I gently covered his hand with mine, "Thank you". We met secretly every three days after that. I wondered why I wasn't feeling guilty.
Maggie told me that it was hard being a navy wife, a life in fear, worries and moving from one base to another. Our kids would suffer the most, changing from city to city and have a hard time making friends. I tried to do the best for my kids and try to make their lives as normal as possible. My marriage on the other hand was starting to show its cracks. It was getting harder to be both parents; I need a man in the house, to keep us safe, to cuddle with on stormy nights, to have someone fix a leaking faucet. When there was something that needed fixing, Bill would say to call someone who can do it. Great, wonderful... who do I call to fix a broken heart.
Back home in San Diego, I couldn't get Walter out of my thoughts. Should I try to forget about this silly crush, I feared it was become much more. I need to go back and live my life that I made with Bill. It was getting harder to keep pretending I was happy. My life with Bill started to feel forced. Our kids needed us, Mathew adored his dad and Katherine was Bill's little princess. Who was I to put my selfish needs, wants and desires above my kid's happy childhood?
Months flew buy but my thoughts of the happy afternoons spent in the playground didn't. Once a week I would receive an e-mail from Walter, seems that he had trouble forgetting as well. He said his wife was under the impression something had changed between them. I confessed the same to him. Bill and I just said what was absolutely needed. No kisses, no hugs. There were days when we just said good morning and good night to each other. It didn't take much convincing me to agree to meet Walter in San Diego and spend a weekend in a little motel by the beach, he wanted to see me again and so did I. After agreeing I took pause and realized what that meant. I was officially cheating on my husband, not just emotional but it was about to get physical. What am I doing?
That weekend, I arranged to spend it at my best friend's house. At least that was the official story for Bill. Truth be told, that weekend Walter and I did not see the sun from Friday to Sunday evening. He wasn't even gone when I find myself missing him already. I kissed Walter goodbye after I dropped him off at the airport. We both knew what we were doing was wrong and we both agreed that it shouldn't happen again despite that we both were miserable in our marriage. I knew in my heart that I had to confess my what? Indiscretion, I don't want to call it that but rather confess that my heart belonged to another man. This was going to be the hardest conversation I ever had to have with Bill.
