Bleach Loops 2

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.


This group is based on a Groundhog's Day concept, if time was looping, and certain members were aware of this.

These are their insanities.


New Loop #1:

Ichigo blinked. He was certain something was off about Orihime; he just couldn't put his finger on it.

Red hair? Nope, still there, just as long.

Odd expression on her face? Yep, still somewhere between innocent and clueless.

Odd taste in food and cooking? Yep, he wasn't sure what was on her plate, but he did not intend to ask her what it was.

She might offer him some with a puppy-dog look on her face. No defense for that.

Damn it; I know something is different about her. I just don't know what…

He was roused from his musings by the appearance of a Hollow as it screamed in preparation for battle.

"Ichigo," said Orihime, "is it time for the kicking of the donkey?"

He blinked at that. "Donkey?"

Orihime "Starfire" Inoue nodded. "That is the correct phrase, yes?" she asked, green eyes looking at him in confirmation as she floated beside him.

Odd phrases? Yep. "Um … did you change your hair?" He was certain something was different, damn it!


New Loop #2:

"That was a dirty trick, Orihime," growled out Ichigo as the bouncy redhead led him towards Urahara's shop.

"No it wasn't," she replied with a smile.

"You told my old man that Rukia ran away because she was carrying my baby," he hissed. "And since when did you do stuff like that?"

"Oh, I learned a lot during that last Fused Loop from Nabiki-sama," Orihime said with utmost respect.

Ichigo promised to pay back Nabiki for warping innocent Orihime into someone who would tell his father with a complete straight face and tears that he had knocked up two girls out of wedlock and one had run away in shame.

"And we have to go rescue Rukia!"

"Rukia's been awake long enough to save herself," he replied. He had watched her after all nail Byakuya and Renji in the groin, calling them weak-willed losers, and then drag them back to Soul Society, all the while bitching about her complete lack of a trial.

And that was after she threatened to nail him in the groin extra-hard if he spoiled her plans this Loop. It may not cause permanent damage, but he had no desire to be kicked in the groin by a small woman who lifted a man twice her weight and three meters in the air with that kick.

"But it is tradition!"

"Calling me 'Kurosaki-kun' is a tradition. Kon's doll body is a tradition.

"Setting me up to be nailed in the groin for spoiling Rukia's fun is not a tradition!"

"But storming Soul Society is," Orihime replied.

"… Did Nabiki teach you something else?" asked Ichigo with worry in his voice. The brunette had already twisted the girl.

He just had no idea how much.

"Ah, I see you've arrived," said the smiling former Shinigami, waving his fan in front of his face. "My, you've even achieved shikai! You'll need it."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that," mumbled Ichigo, staring at Orihime, wondering what she was up to. Was she going to pull the same trick here that she had pulled at his house? Or was there something else she was going to try.

Orihime just smiled. "We must go save Kuchiki-san!" she cheered. "We can't let them steal Kurosaki-kun's baby's mama!"

"… WHAT?" yelled everyone, staring at the substitute looping Shinigami.

Tackling him, it appeared to the others that Orihime was simply giving him a hug.

"This is payback for missing our last date," she whispered into his ear, being certain not to do so in any way that Yoruichi could pick up with her cat ears.

He could only pale at his advancing friends, realizing a truth Ranma had once told him.

Beware the quiet ones, for they are the most dangerous.


New Loop #3:

"Okay, that's enough of that," said Ichigo, as the rogue Captains stopped their ascent towards the open Garganta.

"About time," said Uryū. "I was wondering when we were going to wrap this up."

Chad just nodded.

"Wrap what up?" asked Yoruichi, eyeing Ichigo with suspicion.

"Why the Mystery of the Evil Geek," said Ichigo, forming his Vizard mask and allowing it to heal him. Sure, he could have gone full-Hollow, but most of Soul Society was of the 'shoot first and send the remains to Mayuri' mindset.

"I first grew suspicious when I was playing around with Rukia's sleeping form and pulled out the magic orb from inside her," he started, ignoring said woman's shrieks of rage, Aizen's stunned look, and producing the Hōgyoku. "It took us fifteen minutes and letting Orihime run wild at a craft shop to produce the one you have. Man, it took us probably seven hours to get the fake back into Rukia."

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!" cried said woman.

"Quit making it like I molested you," said Ichigo, dismissing his mask. "I mean, all I did was drug you, take off your…

"Never mind, we have to focus on the case," he continued, ignoring Rukia's escalating shrieks.

"We thought about giving it to Urahara-san to identify," said Orihime. "But considering he hasn't been able to turn a profit on his store in fifty years, we decided he might not be that smart and decided to play around with it ourselves."

"But then we became bored with that, went to Hueco Mundo, conquered it while you were away, made Arrancar with it thanks to Orihime negating the awakening period for it, and came back in time to find out Rukia got kidnapped in the middle of the night on a run to get some Power Ranger panties," offered Uryū.

"I WAS KIDNAPPED TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!" yelled Rukia.

"But coming to Soul Society and from our talks with the Arrancar Swim Team," continued Chad, "we learned that they had been led for a time by a Shinigami Captain. They offered to describe him, but 'Conan' was on and we wanted to see his monologue."

"So when we finally entered Soul Society, we began investigating the captains," stated Ichigo.

"We went through your mail, your clothes, tried a few on, made some crank calls, emptied your fridges, and issued fake orders to your squads for shits and giggles," stated Orihime.

"We also started the Case of Why the Fourth Squad Captain and Lieutenant Pad Their Bras," stated Uryū, holding up said pieces of lingerie.

The Captain-Commander twitched, now knowing why seven squads had been sent to the real world on junk-food runs.

"Our big break came when we saw a bunch of people crying over a sword stuck in the wall," offered Chad. "We figured that had to be a clue … that or your people need some serious psychological help."

"But the major break came while we were exploring the Old Haunted Central 46 Chambers," continued Orihime. "We were just eating all the food you guys brought back for us, drinking the liquor, when our main suspect showed up, stole some of our vodka, thinking it was water, and blabbed his entire plan while drunk."

Aizen growled. Well, that probably explained how he had lost twenty hours and awoke to be wearing a pink leotard. It truly seemed the beating he had given Gin because of it had been senseless.

"So the real villain here is … Soifon!" cried Orihime.

"What did Soifon do?" asked Chad.

"… Oh, my bad," said Orihime. "I figured it was her somehow, she keeps staring at me."

Said Captain blushed. It had been just an angry stare at least.

"Was she staring at my breasts?"

Now it was an embarrassed and angry stare.

"Anyway, we just need to unmask Aizen and—"

"He's not wearing a mask," commented Uryū.

"Really?" asked Ichigo. "Damn, he's ugly.

"Anyway, we're off now," he stated, as a Garganta opened behind them, revealing several human-like figures that many identified as Arrancar. "Apparently, Nnoitra has never been to a KISS concert."

Said Arrancar had his face painted and was flicking his tongue like said-band's member.

"Later," he waved, as the portal closed in both the sky and with the invaders of Soul Society, leaving the three Captains to the mercy of their fellow Shinigami.


"Well, that was fun," stated Ichigo with a smile, as the group appeared inside the concert.

"I'd change the locks when you return home, Ichigo," stated Chad.

"Did that before we left, even got ones I know she can't break through and created some wards to ensure she doesn't use kido or her releases to slaughter me in my sleep."

"Better," said Uryū, "I don't want this Loop restarting until we've done this to the Bount."

"Should we really have said those things about Rukia?" asked Orihime.

"Remember what she did a few Loops back with the jello, the fish-Hollow, and Chizuru?"

"… Can I have a t-shirt, Kurosaki-kun?"


New Loop #4:

A Loop for Emperor Kurosaki I…

Tatsuki winced as Orihime applied the antiseptic to her wounds. "You know, for a mouthy little twit, I certainly didn't expect that girl to fight so dirty," she commented.

During class today, one of the new transfer students had mouthed off to Orihime. Being the self-declared Big Sister to said girl, Tatsuki immediately got into the new girl's face, demanding an apology.

The girl—Loly if she remembered correctly—had stated she stood by her words.

The resulting fight had been less about martial arts and more about hair-pulling—which Tatsuki had the advantage of short hair compared to Loly's pigtails—and biting—damn new girl had actually tried to rip off chunks of flesh.

"I just don't know why that bitch was hanging around Ichigo so much," she muttered.

"Oh, she was part of Kurosaki-kun's royal guard," said Orihime.

"… What?" asked Tatsuki, not believing her ears. Certainly she had heard that wrong.

Orihime just nodded. "Apparently, Kurosaki-kun is royalty from somewhere. They kept referring to him as Emperor Kurosaki I," she stated, finishing the wrap around Tatsuki's left arm.

"… You're kidding me."

"Nope," said Orihime, beginning the work on Tatsuki's right arm.

"Ichigo is royalty?"

Orihime just nodded.

"Well why didn't that jerk tell us?" Tatsuki growled. Surely they were good enough friends after all these years that the guy would have told them he was some sort of foreign ruler now. Although… You know, it does somewhat explain his Old Man. The way he acts, he couldn't have been raised in Japan.

"I think he just found out this weekend," stated Orihime.

"Then why was that bi—girl," said Tatsuki, catching herself, "why did that girl yell at you?"

"Oh, she said I wasn't allowed to hang out with Kurosaki-kun anymore because I wasn't even fit to be Kurosaki-kun's concubine."

Tatsuki could only blink, not liking where this was headed.

Orihime's smile grew as she finished wrapping Tatsuki's arm and gingerly hugged the girl. "But then you said you would prove her wrong about her attitude and defeated her, so now I can be with Kurosaki-kun!"

"… AS A CONCUBINE?" bellowed the short-haired girl.

"Well, I suppose so," said Orihime, pausing to think. "Maybe. I'll have to ask.

"Oh! Maybe since you defeated her, you can be a concubine too!"

"… Do you even know what a concubine is?" Tatsuki asked, hoping that this was something Orihime didn't quite get.

She wanted to scream when the girl flushed.


"But my Lord!" begged said bandaged gigai of an Arrancar.

"No more fighting," Ichigo sighed as they walked home. "And no, I am not giving you permission to leave your gigai to fight my friends. You only get to leave that body when fighting Shinigami, Arrancar, Vizards, or Bounts."

"What are Bounts?" asked Menoly.

"Hope you never find out," grumbled Ichigo.

"AS YOU COMMAND, MY LORD!" said Loly, saluting.

Ichigo merely palmed his face and continued walking home. "This is going to be one long year," he muttered. He hadn't even been dragged into Soul Society business yet and he was already hating this Loop.


"Hmm," said Kisuke, looking over his instruments. "This can't be right."

"What can't?" asked Rukia.

"Well, if these instruments are correct, the entire town of Kurakara is filled with massive amounts of Hollow spiritual energy. But if that were true, they'd be everywhere devouring human souls. And since we haven't heard any screams or roars from Hollows, that simply can't be the case.

"Maybe I need to go out and look around at my sensors," he murmured.


"What is this?" asked Fishbone D, looking at the small Hollow dog standing before him, wagging its tail.

"Yo quiero Taco Bell," spoke the dog.

"… What? AHHH! MY LEG! LET GO OF MY—AHHH!"


"There he is, Ulquiorra," said Yammy with a smile, picking up his pet, the lone thing he would never destroy … unless it pooped on him.

Then it was paste.

"BURP!" belched the hollow animal, spitting out a white fish-themed mask.

"Is it healthy for him to do that?" asked Ulquiorra.

Yammy just shrugged. "Was the thing's fault for being near him when he was hungry.

"Now let's head back to the Emperor. His human sister said she would be making tacos tonight."

"You do realize that if they do not meet your high standards, slaughtering her is not an option."

"… Well now I do."


New Loop #5:

Ichigo could only blink. "Did that Arrancar version of Ron Jeremy just drop his pants and fire a cero from his..."

"I ... believe so, Kurosaki-kun."

"... I'm out," stated Ichigo, putting his zanpakuto away. "I don't want to play anymore."


New Loop #6:

Ichigo blinked as the world slowly came back into focus for him. He had to admit, Ranma had been right on when he claimed that no matter what, the beginning of a Loop always left you disorientated for a bit.

For Saotome, it usually meant he started a Loop being unable to avoid receiving a Stop Sign to the back of his skull.

For Ichigo, it was never so bad.

But then there were days like this.

The surroundings were not of Earth, nor were they of Soul Society. The drab landscape, endless desert, and oddly forever moon pretty much concluded for him he was in Hueco Mundo.

"Oh, this can't be good," he muttered. Loops beginning in the Land of the Hollows never ended well … for his sanity, at least.

Let's see here… Yep, two horns on my head. I'm in my Hollow form.

Shit. Nothing good would come from that. Aside from having to get a massive haircut when he returned home, Hollows tended to be drawn towards the most powerful one around.

"First thing first," he stated, his voice modulated as always. Turning around, he prepared to open a Garganta back to the human world. Afterwards, it would be easy to crack his mask and revert to his standard soul form, maybe even Shinigami until he could sneak Kon's modsoul pill and something to separate a soul from a body—lest he leave Kon in charge of his human body and that never ended well.

"Something's wrong here," he murmured, noticing that the dimension wasn't tearing. "Did the Old Man have a new barrier put up?" he asked, scratching around his Hollow Hole, feeling a strange itching sensation.

Maybe it just blocks high-level Hollows… Shrugging and deciding it was worth a risk to see if he could open it as a full Shinigami, he closed his eyes and brought his fist to bear on his mask.

"OW!"

Sadly, it didn't break.

Itching his chest once again, his shoulders sagged. Something was definitely wrong. He couldn't change back, he couldn't open a Garganta, and he really wasn't in the mood to go looking for a Menos to force one open, assuming it was a problem just with him.

"And why the Hell does my chest itch?" he bellowed. "I swear, if I somehow got the equivalent of Hollow fleas, I'm blowing this dimension apart!"

His day got worse as he saw why his Hole was itching.

Inside the Hole, suspended perfectly, was the Hōgyoku.

"… Ffffffffffffffuck!" he spat. Okay, never eat the Hōgyoku again and forget to remove it before the end of the Loop. Now I know.

NOW COME OUT OF THERE! he internally ranted, trying to pry the Orb from its resting place. But try as he might—including several low-powered Cero blasts—it refused to budge.

"Well, this sucks," he muttered, tapping his foot, trying to think of a way to get the Hōgyoku out of his body. No doubt, it was what was messing with his shifting, probably the Garganta generation as well. And since not even its creator knew, all that the Orb could do and the general luck of an Anchor, nothing good would come of this.

And it wasn't as if he could simply kill himself and be done with it. Hell, for all he knew, until he extracted that bobble, this was his new starting point. For all he knew, it could send things spiraling out of control, resulting in him being gender-switched and the target of the school's most infamous lesbian lecher. "This day can't get anymore worse."

And as the Unspoken Rule was violated—never, ever tempt Fate to such a challenge—it happened.

"Such power…"

Blinking, he slowly turned, noticing that in the time he had been wallowing in misery, he had been surrounded by dozens of powerful Hollows, many he recognized as resembling the Released States of Aizen's Arrancars.

And they were kneeling.

"Well … this can't end well," he murmured.

"Hail to the King, baby!" offered his mirror half.


New Loop #7:

Captain-Commander Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto looked on as the gathered captains turned towards the main doorway to their chamber, expecting the arrival of Captain of the Sixth Division: Byakuya Kuchiki and his Lieutenant: Renji Abarai, to give their reports of the capture of the traitor: Rukia Kuchiki.

Thus, it could be forgiven that instead of seeing the duo enter in the normal manner expected of such seated members, both entered hobbling along, Renji leaning heavily on his released zanpakutō to make it inside. Both were bloody, sporting several gashes. Even Byakuya's ornamental headpiece (kenseikan, a symbol stating he was the head of the Kuchiki clan) was shattered.

Kenpachi snorted. "I take it your little sister was too much for you?" he asked with a maddening sneer.

"Not her," grumbled Renji. "It was that bastard human soul she transferred her powers to."

"Explain," simply stated Yamamoto, power hidden in his voice.

Byakuya forced himself to stand tall—a hard prospect considering he believed his pelvis was likely cracked. "After apprehending the target, the human appeared in soul form, stating he would not allow her to leave the Living World until such time that she had paid her back-rent and accrued debts."

A few of the captains could only blink, their minds entering a WTF-moment, while others glared that the Sixth Division Captain, believing him to simply be making up such an excuse. After all, surely such a newly empowered soul could never do such to those of such standing and skill. More likely was that Rukia had resisted and discovered what most of Soul Society would have known had her clan head not banned her from taking the Seat Exams.

"And he did this to you?" asked Yamamoto.

Renji nodded. "We tried to request Gentei Kaijo, but he destroyed our phones."

"And all this … because he didn't want Rukia running out on her bills?" asked Gin, smiling and giggling a little. "My, I had no idea such force was necessary to make the Kuchiki clan pay their debts."

If looks could kill, Byakuya's look at Gin would have vaporized him and the wall behind the smirking man.

"He also gave us a note, told that it was to be read before the other Captains," commented Renji, reaching into his robes.

"Oh?" asked Aizen.

"Go and read it," stated Mayuri. "I find myself most curious as to what is said. If nothing else, it can be used to add to the crimes of this interesting human soul." Oh yes, it appeared it was time to head to the Living World and acquire a new sample.

Nodding, Renji read it aloud.

Dear Soul Society,

If you are hearing this, then the tattooed guy with the bad haircut stayed alive long enough to reach you.

Since the clan head of Rukia's now has her bill, I expect payment in three days or I'm coming for it. Don't care about your 'No Trespassing' wall.

Aizen, I know what you want. Well, tell your two cohorts in treason that I already removed the Hōgyoku from where it had been buried inside Rukia.

Tell Byakuya I did it while nailing his adopted sister.

Renji paused, feeling a spike in killing intent coming from his captain, as several of the others stared in confusion at Aizen.

"Explain, Aizen!" demanded Yamamoto.

"Obviously, lies, sir," stated Aizen, his mind trying to come up with some way to either confirm or deny the human's claim.

"We shall discuss this later," stated the old man with finality. "Is there more?" he asked Renji.

Nodding, the Shinigami continued.

Aizen, I also took over Hueco Mundo and your Arrancar army you had planned. I have already used the Hōgyoku. Stay off my new lawn. By the way, does Hueco Mundo ever have a sunrise? I've never seen one there.

Later, see you in a few days when I come to collect from Byakuya. And stay off me, pervert. Yoruichi told me how you sexually harassed her.

Renji actually had to take several steps away from his captain as the killing intent surged, burning the floor slightly.

Soi Fon glared at her fellow Captain, wondering what truth the letter had.

Love, Ichigo Kurosaki

P.S.: I am not dealing with any debt my father left.

P.P.S.: That includes arranged marriages or such.

P.P.P.S.: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Please turn over page.

Ha-ha-ha.

Blinking, Renji folded the letter back up. Somehow, he just knew this wasn't going to go over well for Rukia. I need to train and master my Bankai, so that I may face him.

How did he master Bankai and Shikai in the time he had Rukia's powers? he wondered. Surely, this was a rare man with grand intelligence and strength of will.


"I don't know if this is wise, Ichigo," stated Kon from inside a Gigai that Ichigo had had Szayel create for the Mod Soul.

"You know, we could always leave this strip club," offered Ichigo.

"Not that!" yelled Kon. Was this guy mad?

Well, he was hanging out with a few Arrancar, so maybe… "No, I was referring to what we ordered. It's too early for shrimp in my opinion."

"Hey, you can complain when you get a job and pay for your own money to tip the strippers," stated Ichigo. "Now relax, we invade Soul Society in a few days.

"And remember, Yammy; no sex in the Champagne Room!"


New Loop #8:

Rukia blinked as she looked at her Hollow Detector. For some reason, it was saying a nigh-impossibly large signature of two Hollows before her.

However, that couldn't be right. With such strong Hollows nearby, space would be warping. Hell, humans should be screaming their heads off as they dropped dead; roars of the Hollows should be heard. Instead, all she heard was—

"Banzai, Kurosaki-sama! Banzai!"

Well, that wasn't what she had expected. "What the hell," she muttered, rushing forward to find the source of her trouble.

And she found it … in front of a line of several dozen souls. "The hell?" she asked.

The soul before her turned around, looking at the girl. "Where the fuck did you die at?" he asked, giving her a hooded glaze.

"Excuse me?" growled Rukia.

"Just the outfit, kid," waved off the man, assuming the poor child had died during some play. "Now stop bothering me, this Arrancar training sounds like a pretty good deal."

Rukia blinked, before stepping out of the line and moving towards the front, her hand on her zanpakutō, ready to strike.

What she found was a standard booth, complete with a black man and a white woman, handing out flyers and talking with two people.

"Emperor Kurosaki-sama is beyond moral reproach!" exclaimed Arrancar Zommari Leroux. "While he allows for pacifism with the Shinigami swine, he acknowledges that we as Arrancar must rise above our baser Hollow instincts and achieve a higher level, a level beyond those foolish Shinigami, a level beyond which we bring ourselves closer to the true King!"

"O~kay," muttered the human soul before him. "But how does this differ from that church's promise I passed by to work every day?"

Blinking, Rukia turned to face the white woman.

"And as you can see," stated Nelliel Tu Oderschvank, "that with the 'Ascend Now, Pay Later' plan, you can be the dominant personality in a Hollow form of your choosing, thus granting you a higher chance of ascending the ranks and perhaps even reaching Espada like me," she offered, showing her badge that stated "Nelliel Tu Oderschvank: Rank 3 Espada".

Rukia just blinked. She had no idea what Arrancar were, but they seemed tied to Hollows. "Stop this!" she yelled.

Zommari gave her a hooded glaze. "So, the evil Establishment is here to repress us once again!"

"… Huh?"

"She is here to trounce your rights! To subvert your free will to express yourselves as Arrancar loyal to the Great Emperor!"

"No nukes, man!" cried one soul in a tie-dyed shirt.

"… Look, she forces us to side with hippies!"

"Yeah!" cried the human souls. "The Man is trying to keep us down!"

Nelliel sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Every day he does this," she muttered. Tomorrow, she was working with Ulquiorra. He never caused any trouble.

And if patterns remained the same, he was about to…

"Suppress, Brujería!"


Kisuke could only blink as he spotted the Shinigami female before him, eyes unfocused, a strange symbol on her forehead, flyer in her hand.

"Come," she said it a vacant voice. "The Arrancar need you to serve in the army of Lord Kurosaki…"

"… Damn religious nuts," he groused, closing the door.


Five minutes later…

"I said," growled the controlled Shinigami, "our Lord needs you!" she bellowed, zanpakutō at Kisuke's neck.

"Um … can I see a flyer?"


New Loop #9:

He lay there, staring at the ceiling, noticing how the light from the sunrise was slowly filtering in. Somehow, he found that comforting and ironic, considering what was very likely to happen when those beside him woke up in a few minutes.

It hadn't been meant to end like this. He had taken a chance and asked Orihime out, since he began the Loop a few days before Rukia's arrival. In fact, he was taking a semi-vacation, just going to enjoy himself.

Hell, he invited Tatsuki along for two reasons.

One, she would have followed them anyway to ensure Ichigo never did anything wrong with Orihime—which was under the assumption Orihime would say no to begin with or that Ichigo would ever force her.

Second was to deal with the rumormongers who would pop up tomorrow, namely a certain glasses-wearing Orihime-fangirl. If Tatsuki said nothing happened, Heaven help those who said otherwise.

But that wasn't why Ichigo felt the hangman's noose closing around his neck. No, that had to deal with the results of letting Orihime pick the place for them to eat at. She had claimed she heard other students talking about it, raving about their tea. So they went, ordered some pitchers of tea and some snacks.

It was only now that Ichigo put together a few things. One, the teens weren't raving about the place for its tea, but for the fact they never checked ID to ensure you were old enough to purchase said tea.

Two, the tea was Long Island Ice Tea.

So while he had a small headache and almost no memory past the first half hour at the place, he liked to think he was smart enough to put together what had occurred afterwards.

Raising his head slightly, he could explain some of the ache on his chest by spotting two tattoos. So it was safe to say while drunk, they had at least visited a tattoo shop. I swear, that one on my right side looks like that robot Orihime said she would be in the future…

Looking towards the bare floor, he spotted several takeout boxes, so it was either they had gotten some food or Orihime hadn't cleaned in a while.

Lastly, taking in his own nudity and those of the girls beside him—including a shocking tattoo on them as well—he could conclude things had gone pretty far last night.

And that was why he now felt the hangman's noose. Because as soon as they awoke, Tatsuki would kill him and dispose of the evidence. If not her, than Sora's spirit would turn Hollow to avenge his sister's honor. And if not him, than if she ever learned of it, Chizuru would slaughter him in the bloodiest and most painful way possible for 'soiling her hime'.

So he laid there, waiting for death to come, and cursing his damn luck. It was probably the greatest night of his life.

And he had no memory of it! So unfair...


New Loop #10:

Kenpachi stared at the sight.

Yachiru stared at the sight.

"Okay, this is new," he grumbled.

Across from them, wearing the exact outfits, down to the hair ornaments and eye patch as they were, were two of the ryoka.

"Who are you?" demanded Kenpachi.

The figure with almost orange hair sneered, pulling out his zanpakutō slightly. "My name is Kenpachi Zaraki," he claimed. "This is my Lieutenant, Yachiru Kusajishi."

"Hi!" waved the sea-green haired child riding on his shoulder.

"Wow, Ken-chan," murmured Yachiru.

Kenpachi just rubbed his forehead. "I don't know how or why, but you can bet that fucker Mayuri is involved in this somehow."

'Kenpachi' growled. "What has that pale skinned fucker done this time?"

"Hey, Ken-chan, does that mean there are two Ken-chan now?"

"Yeah!" cried 'Yachiru'. "That means twice the fun!"

"Well," smirked 'Kenpachi', "it would make for a nice battle, yeah…"

"But don't we have to hunt down those ryoka, Ken-chan?" asked 'Yachiru'.

"Fine," growled 'Kenpachi', placing his zanpakutō fully back into its scabbard. "But after we get them, we get to find out who is the better Kenpachi."

"I like your style, clone," smirked Kenpachi, as the duo raced apart, the children on their shoulders giving bad directions.


"I can't believe that worked," chuckled 'Kenpachi'. "I thought for certain they would have seen through the disguise. Man, how bad were the clones that freak made before?" he wondered.

"You were great, Nel!"

"Yeah! I helped Itsygo!" cried the chibi-Arrancar, as the duo made their way deeper into Soul Society.

It became even better when a Hell Butterfly soon arrived, stating from Kenpachi about Mayuri making imperfect clones of him and Yachiru.

"I wonder how much longer we can play this?" he asked allowed.


"And I'm telling you that these two are likely more of Captain Kurotsuchi's clones. Look at her bust and the emo-waves coming off him!"

Orihime and Uryū could only blink at the arguing Shinigami before them.

"I don't know what is going on," said Uryū, adjusting his glasses, "but I am certain it is Ichigo's doing."


New Loop #11:

Ichigo could only stare, looking at the newest 'Kurosaki family pet' his father had acquired, as his two sisters looked on.

Yuzu gave a happy squeal, wanting to hold it after Ichigo was done.

Karin gave it a hooded glaze, wondering what her father had given to pay for the odd creature.

"Isn't it sooooooo cute!" cried the former Shinigami captain-turned-father. "And it only cost me five hundred yen!"

"And the fact it was so cheap didn't send up a warning?" asked Karin.

"What is his name?" asked Yuzu, still cooing at the creature.

The creature seemed to start humming a tune, eyes closed, making Yuzu nearly take her brother's arm off as she removed it from his grasp and cuddled it.

"Well, it didn't have a name already," offered Isshin. "So I'm sure my darling little girls can come up with the perfect name for it."

"What is it, anyway?" finally asked Karin.

"Oh, the guy called it a mogwai," stated Isshin. "He gave some warnings, but I wasn't really paying attention."

Ichigo could only twitch. I wonder if I can spend the Loop living out of Urahara's… Somehow, he knew nothing good would come out of this Loop.


New Loop #12:

You know, I'm not sure how, but I'm going to take a guess that Ranma is at fault for this … somehow.

It was meant to be such a simply Loop. Thanks to having absorbed the Hōgyoku, he found the inner barrier between Shinigami and Hollow becoming easier to cross. So it was easy enough to disguise himself as a natural Arrancar—Aizen loved them—and make his way into Las Noches.

Which reminds me, I need to kill Urahara in a very painful manner for his idea of what constituted a disguise. I don't know how that asshole convinced me to do this!

Janitor! He was to go undercover as a janitor in Las Noches, wearing a hooded cloak that would hide his power levels. If not, even Aizen would be able to tell that the supposedly natural Arrancar was easily a Vasto Lorde.

But that wasn't why he was cursing Ranma.

No, that reason went by the name of Cirucci Thunderwitch. Said current Espada/future Privaron was apparently upset because she didn't have any Fracción. When she tried to take it out on the supposedly 'weak janitor', he easily disarmed her while continuing to work on the floor.

Next thing he knew, he was dragged before Aizen as the female Arrancar declared him her Fracción.

It kind of put a crimp into his plan to be a spying janitor. But at least he would get a room not next to the Las Noches septic system.

But a few of the Espada laughed at her choice of the lowly janitor.

She offered to have them prove she made a weak choice by challenging him.

After a minute, Barragan was now three Fracción lighter. He'd even taken them out without lowering his hood or using a Resurrección they would have suspected he would use. Luckily, Zangetsu was in his Bankai form—no way was he going to fully seal his zanpakutō and use that release phrase again.

And thus, the natural Arrancar known as Shirosaki—once again, he was going to kill Urahara for using that name—was made a Fracción of Cirucci.

She had then dragged him to her personal chamber and spent half an hour trying to find out what he looked like under his cloak.

Then she spent half a day showing him that yes, something about him seemed to attract female Hollows like Saotome attracted mentally unbalanced women.

So, as he slowly made his way from her quarters, white outfit in tatters, mind somewhat offline do to finding out how … excitable the woman was in the bedroom, he began to question if the whole assignment was worth it.

"Did you really think I'd allow an insect like you to do what you did?"

Blinking, he spotted Barragan standing in front of him, the remaining Fracción by his side, glaring at Ichigo. "And Aizen will allow you to get payback like a spoiled child?" he growled back. Oh, he really needed to vent now, lest he go show Urahara what he was thinking of the plan.

"I am the God-King of Hueco Mundo does not care," spat the elderly Arrancar. "Kill him, or I shall kill you all and do it myself."

Well, I wonder if those time-spells Ranma showed me will work…

Wait, is this another Fate of mine: sex followed quickly by death?

DAMN YOU, SAOMTOME!


"My beloved Espada," started Aizen, a slight smile on his face. "I would like to introduce the newest member of our group, who recently slew Barragan and the remainder of his Fracción, and the first Vasto Lorde to join our esteemed group, Shirosaki."

Yep, if the look Cirucci was giving him were any indication—as well as the odd looks from Halibel and Neliel—this mission was about to become a total failure in less than a day.

Asshole Arrancar aging my clothes to dust, aging my cloak to dust. And why the hell was I only found by female Arrancar? Damn it, Saotome dies next time I see him! This is all his fault!

"Now, my newest Espada, please show us your Resurrección."

Oh, this day just kept getting better.