Tamaki's Greatest Dilemma is part of the Zit Series with other zit-related fanfiction from From Spark to Flame, larrythestapler, asianangelgirl, and kasplosion. If you like Harry Potter, Twilight, Naruto, or Avatar, please go check out their stories as well! Links to the rest of this weird series is in my profile.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran.
Last time on T.G.D. Part 1: On Monday morning, Tamaki woke up with the shocking revelation of a zit on his nose! He had just run out of Doux, a rare product in France that was the only thing that could treat his acne. Though his problem had been seemingly resolved by Kyouya, who said he would use his contacts to find the acne treatment in France, the twins revealed another distressing setback: all clubs have to take pictures for yearbook this Friday. Refusing to let his "legacy" be lived down this way and become the laughingstock of Ouran Academy (and particularly the twins), Tamaki decided to take matters in his own hands and get rid of his zit on his own.
But will the once so flawless king be able to purge his terrible acne in four days? And what is he beginning to realize about his friends from what Kyouya said before…?
TAMAKI'S GREATEST DILEMMA
Part 2
(Tuesday)
For Antoinette, being the beloved dog of a wealthy owner meant being able to smell all kinds of different aromas in the second Suoh mansion. The chefs in the house were of the finest, so the golden retriever often snooped into the kitchen right before dinner. Of course, she was always eventually caught and kicked out afterwards, mouth tarnished with cake frosting and all.
But on Tuesday night, she smelled something different. The chefs never cooked anything else after dinner except dessert, but this aroma was anything but sweet. It reminded Antoinette of some odd combination of rice and bread, such plain foods the picky dog always refused to eat from her bowl. Holding her head up high and twitching her nose, she concluded the kitchen was not cooking with such basic ingredients – there was nothing but soap and mops in there during cleaning duty – but that the aroma came from the upstairs bathroom. Once she followed the trail, she found her master pouring the last bit of oats from a box and then taking a step in the bathtub.
"Ah, Antoinette!" the boy said, turning and showing a smile to his dog. She blinked at the weird looking bump on his nose.
Oh, that's right – ever since Monday, Tamaki Suoh had a zit.
Antoinette didn't care that much about skin care and follicle blockages, but apparently her master and other humans took it as a great deal. She didn't know what harm this tiny little "zit" could do to people (even though her master's wasn't all that tiny and little), but from what she had witnessed from this week so far, it could cause the owner of the pimple to gather bizarre ingredients and perform strange acts around the house.
For example, the first day he had the zit, he had come home from school with furrowed eyebrows and lips set in a firm line, immediately ordering dozens of various acne products while waiting (impatiently waiting, for time was too short before picture day) for Kyouya to receive bottles of that special Doux. It must have been really special, because none of the other acne products worked, and just made Tamaki's skin more irritating and blotchy. But Antoinette didn't know whether he was supposed to use all of those new products altogether anyway.
And then, after failed attempts and blotchier noses, all the midst of high-strung panic caused her master to carry out even more incomprehensible habits. The first time, her keen nose had followed a trail of onions. The next few minutes following, she watched her master rub his face with garlic cloves.
Sometimes, she spotted him using avocado paste.
And other times, egg yolk.
And…
And now, he was taking a bath in oatmeal.
Tamaki sighed, his tense shoulders loosening up and his arms lying across the edges of the tub. "I really did need a nice bath after all that work from the past few days, running back and forth," he mumbled. Though steam was beginning to rise from the hot water, Antoinette was still able to find her master as she walked forth and sat next to the tub. He petted her head, stroking her long fur.
He nodded slowly to himself and contemplated, "I'll have to remember to leave some toothpaste on the zit after brushing my teeth, and then drink a glass of wheat grass juice before going to bed too."
As long as you don't feed any of that to me! Antoinette barked.
A maid tapped on the door. "Excuse me, Tamaki-sama, but I shall be leaving the telephone in this room for your convenience in case there are any calls for you at this hour. You said you were expecting a call from a friend this week."
"Ah, yes, that would be wonderful!" the blonde replied. The telephone was then set out in frofnt of the door before the maid left, keeping her eyes respectfully away from her master's body but also noticing the weird smell of… oatmeal…?
The oat groats floated beside him as Tamaki, now only accompanied by Antoinette, spoke. "Kyouya might call any time now; he did say it would take one or two days for Doux to come in…"
His azure eyes stared down at the water and he remembered the conversation from a few days ago. Kyouya said his men would search for that product in France, no matter how rare it was. Haruhi also tried to say something too, Tamaki realized, but the blonde had been too struck with awe by his best friend's considerate act of kindness. For him, he thought.
"Yes, yes," the dark-haired boy absentmindedly agreed, nudging him off. "Whatever it takes to keep earning regular profits from our customers."
…
Antoinette noticed his eyes growing distant and licked her master's hand. He snapped out of his reverie, smiled, and scratched the fur underneath her collar.
"Thanks, Antoinette. You're always concerned about me, aren't you?"
It was typical for Kyouya to care about maintaining profits. Tamaki knew that. It was also typical for the twins to make fun of him, for Mori to remain silent, for Honey to be more concerned about eating cake and for Haruhi to act apathetic about it all.
Recently though, Tamaki started to realize this was always typical.
And yes, even the second-year knew he was slightly (just slightly) overreacting if he only based this on his zit dilemma. But he remembered all those times of their direct refusal to his offer at helping the newspaper club, their reluctance at all his tactics to lend a hand to the other Ouran students who were facing problems, and their lack of concern whenever he, himself, was dealing with an issue. They called him a crybaby, they rolled their eyes at him, or they simply ignored him.
It was typical for his friends to do that.
As Tamaki stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around his waist, he pondered over what friendship really meant to him. Friends were supposed to be family. Families were supposed to care and look after each other. He had put himself in the father position, so of course he was always troubling himself for their sake, no matter how annoying the king thought some of them were (particularly a certain pair of devil twins, but deep down even he admitted that he cared for them too).
But what about them? Had his friends ever felt the same way about him?
Though Antoinette had always been a loud and rowdy dog, this time, she stayed quiet and still watching her master. She knew there was something troubling him by his face – and his frown, she noted, didn't really look angry, but actually quite sad.
"Antoinette, I'm starting to think..." he murmured, tying the final knot in his waist towel, "that maybe, the host club really doesn't care about m…"
BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGG!!!
"AAAAAHH!!!"
Her master did not have to spend the rest of the night dilly-dallying and reflecting for long, however, when the telephone rang loudly beside them.
The shrill rings echoed off the hallway of the second Suoh mansion's upper floor, Antoinette began jumping and barking, and a startled Tamaki Suoh fell face flat into a bath tub full of hot water and oatmeal.
---
"Hellooo? Tamaki, are you there?"
"Who is this?!"
"It's just me, of course. Can't you remember the voice of your own father? Anyway, I'm feeling quite bored at work…"
"Do NOT bother me now, Father! I have problems much more troubling than curing your boredom!"
"Huh? What's the matter, Tamaki?"
Tamaki furiously wiped the oat grains off of his face as he responded over the phone.
"Oh, nothing, just the fact that I have just about the biggest zit in the entire universe and our club pictures are THIS Friday and everyone is going to see that picture and laugh at me and Haruhi will be forever disgusted by my hideous acne, and for the past two days I've been putting egg yolk and avocado paste and everything on my face and it STILL isn't gone, THAT'S what's the matter!!!"
Yuzuru chuckled over the other line and joked, "Well, son, why don't you try covering it up with make-up?"
His laughter faded when he heard his son breathing heavily over the phone, fuming. Tamaki gripped the phone tightly as he shouted over the speaker, "OF COURSE I DID THAT ALREADY! IT DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!"
With a slam on the other end and the disconnection tone resounding in his ear, the chairman of Ouran Academy slowly put down his telephone and sat back in his office chair, stunned. Yuzuru brought his eyebrows together as he gazed out his window with general concern. He'd have a lot of things to explain to his son once he got home, particularly about getting in touch with a man's feminine side and putting on makeup as a hobby…
---
(Wednesday)
"O-Oh my gosh, Boss, you're killing us here…"
The twins had just finished gasping their last breath. Having recovered from their stomach surgery onf Monday (all thanks to the hilarious sight of Tamaki's giant zit), they knew they would be in even more critical condition if they continued laughing this hard. Still, they didn't expect their king to show up Wednesday afternoon with an embarrassing red-toned tan and a flat nose, as if he was some sort of alien from Mars. And knowing what kind of eccentric person he was, he might just as well be.
And yet, even so, he still had the zit.
Tamaki was now turning even redder with anger, and his zit flared due to the intense emotion. "Don't you dare laugh at me, you wretched twins! You'll never understand how hard I worked to get rid of my zit!"
Haruhi gawked at his face and noticed a strange scent of oatmeal coming from him, but concluded it was just her imagination. "Senpai… what exactly did you do?"
After a sniff to hold back his tears, the blonde began telling his friends his heartbreaking story. "When I got home on Monday, I ordered a bunch of different acne products, but even when I used all of the bottles up they still didn't work!"
"Didn't I tell you to leave this to me?" A hint of annoyance was evident not in Kyouya's face, but in his tone.
"I know! But when there was still no news about Doux, I got desperate! That's why I had to use other methods by going on the computer and looking through websites that had all these acne homemade remedies!"
"Homemade remedies? What are those?" Honey asked, glancing up at the taller senior Mori beside him, who only shrugged in response.
"It's something the commoners came up with because they're too poor to buy acne products for their skin," Tamaki explained matter-of-factly. "Haruhi, you must be familiar with these. They're treatments like applying an equal amount of lemon juice and rose water with a cotton ball and then dabbing your pimple with it, or making a warm bath with a blanch of nettle and rosemary…"
"I've never heard of these ridiculous cures," Haruhi said.
"In fact, last night I had to take a bath in nothing but hot water and oatmeal!"
"That's for chicken pox!"
"Ah-ha! You said you've never heard of them!"
The girl rolled her eyes as Tamaki pointed a finger at her triumphantly. Hikaru and Kaoru, though amused by their king's whacky antics, were now looking down on him quite pitifully.
"Boss, we think you and your zit may just be completely hopeless by now. Obviously, Haruhi's cures would be total crap," Hikaru said, missing the glare he received from the alleged commoner.
Kaoru added, "And besides, even if they did work, we're pretty sure you're not supposed to use them altogether in two days."
The twins watched Tamaki's jaw drop open in horror. "B-But… I had to cook oatmeal and put it on my face! I had to call a hypnotist! I had to eat a medium grated radish with every meal!" he protested. "I had to DRINK GOAT MILK!"
The host club members gaped at their president, wondering what on earth he had been doing for the past two days but at the same time not wanting to discover the answer. Fortunately for them, the boy had already retrieved to his corner of woe, sobbing at all his valiant efforts wasted.
"Then hopefully, you've learned your lesson," Kyouya spoke up, tilting his glasses. "Next time, just sit still and wait for your Doux to come in. They'll probably be able to find it by tomorrow, and I assure you it'll be much more useful than any of Haruhi's inadequate home remedies."
"Okay, I never came up with any of those stupid remedies," Haruhi snapped, "and if I had to give you my suggestion to get rid of your zit, senpai, it would be to do—"
"You know what? Why should we have to sit around and waste our time waiting for that doux thing to come over here?" Kaoru interrupted, oblivious to the scholarship student behind them who threw her arms in the air in exasperation.
"Yeah!" Hikaru smirked. "Why don't we do something about it… ourselves?"
Tamaki sniffed and turned his head at the twins. Teary-eyed, his lip quivered as he uttered out, "H-Huh?"
Something gleamed in the redheads' eyes as they grinned in unison. The spark in their goldenrods didn't exactly look hopeful or trustworthy, but advocated something more sinister. The blonde gulped as the two inched closer inside his corner.
"The only reasonable thing to do is," Kaoru began, as Hikaru pulled a giant metal plier out of nowhere and finished, "to POP THAT SUCKER OFF FOR GOOD!"
Tamaki's eyes widened as his hands immediately clasped over his nose as a shield from the malicious twins. "NO! NO! DON'T YOU DARE! THAT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO SCAR ON MY FACE!"
"That's only gonna happen if we screw up!"
"THEN YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!"
Shrill screams (of Tamaki) and battle cries (of the twins) resounded off the walls of the third music room on Wednesday afternoon as the trio chased each other in mad circles – but participants and bystanders could both agree that no matter what they did, Tamaki's zit still laid perfectly on his nose by the end of the day.
---
(Thursday)
All hope was lost.
Club pictures were tomorrow, and Doux still had not been shipped in. Kyouya's men reported back that the company had gone out of business several years ago and no longer made any skin care products. Even Kyouya Ootori, the shadow king who always had the solution to everything, could not fix Tamaki's greatest dilemma.
Tamaki gradually stopped using ludicrous home remedies, and every attempt was only half-hearted. He was an absolute mess, a pimpley disaster that groveled around the music room and dampened the spirits of several others just by watching him. As he skulked near the dark corners in all his gloom and misery, clients watched with fingers over their mouths, eyes almost brimmed with tears, whispering softly, Oh, if only I could reach out to him…
But they couldn't.
Tamaki had given up.
The host club's air was thick with misery. Business was bad enough with the number one requested host resigned from his job, but a dismal Tamaki made it worse. People left him alone in his own corner until club hours were over and it was time to clean up. After placing away all the vases in the storage closet, Haruhi decided to approach the older student. This time, she firmly reminded herself to stare directly into his eyes and not at his zit, even though he began wearing a paper bag over his head again.
"Hey, senpai? How are you doing?" the scholarship student spoke politely. Her senpai was crouched in his usual corner, drawing gloomy circles on the floor with his finger. "Are you okay?"
A mumble of "fine" was all his answer.
"Did you, um, drink any more goat milk?" she asked lamely.
"No," he answered. "I've realized that all of your homemade cures were ridiculous, so I came up with a more rational solution for my zit."
Ignoring the vein popping on her head from the hypocritical comment, Haruhi pressed on. "Oh, really? What did you do?"
The blonde turned his paper bag covered head at the girl and pointed at his eyes. "I cut some holes in the bag to see better."
Right, and it took you four days to finally think of this, Haruhi thought to herself, remembering all those times the president of the host club kept on bumping into walls and talking to random clueless people. But though she knew her senpai was an idiot, for some reason, there was a soft spot in her heart that felt sorry for him. She had a feeling it wasn't because of his zit, but for something else she couldn't quite put a finger on.
"I don't think you should be so depressed over a zit," the girl said. "And it's really not necessary to go through all that trouble just to get rid of it. It's not that hard. If I were you, I would do—"
"It's okay, Tama-chan!" Honey suddenly spoke up. He had just finished devouring all of his cake and snuck up from behind them. "Because guess what? We really do have your Doux!"
In a split second, Tamaki's eyes lit up from behind the paper bag. He immediately took it off and stared at the senior boy wide-eyed.
"What? How? Where?!"
"Just let me put it on!" Honey ignored the questions and held a finger up. A small dab of cream stood at the very tip of his index finger. Haruhi raised an eyebrow. Something was suspicious here.
But Tamaki willingly agreed anyway and let the tiny blonde do what he had to do. Honey daubed the miracle-worker across his nose, and the senior's face was unusually focused and concentrated – until Tamaki furrowed his eyebrows together and stopped him.
"Wait a minute," he said, and the cream started dripping down to his lip. He licked it off of his mouth and then stared at the other host member in realization and confusion.
"This is… cake."
Tamaki gawked up at Honey, who returned the gaze with a weak smile.
"Eh heh… um… okay, we don't really have Doux," he admitted. "I lied to you because, umm…"
"Because we all want you to shut up."
All eyes turned to the twins who had just spoken. The host club members had stored away all the furniture and roses, and were now watching the event that was about to unfold. The Hitachiins gazed frigidly at their boss as they continued talking.
"You're not even hosting in this club anymore, and you're still lurking here afterschool just moping around. It's pretty annoying."
"Kaoru," Haruhi spoke carefully, surprised. It wasn't like the twins to be this harsh. Why were they suddenly changing their attitude now?
"I agree," Kyouya added and flipped open his notebook, analyzing the statistics of their club from the past week. "Your gloomy presence causes a huge distraction and even more of a drop-down in customer rates. I believe it would be best for profits if you leave until your acne gets better, since your attendance here is unneeded now."
"'Cause Tama-chan is a depressing guy, right?" Honey said, and Mori nodded with an 'ah'.
Haruhi stared perplexed by the unexpected coldness of the host club members. The girl wondered why they were all saying this now, but she was even more worried about how Tamaki was going to deal with this.
He didn't handle it very well.
"What… are you saying? Is this really what you've been thinking all this time?" the blonde asked. His tone was lower than usual, as if he had been expecting this despite his questions. "I thought friends were supposed to care for each other—"
"That's the thing! We don't care about you and your stupid problems!" Hikaru snapped. "All you are is a big nuisance to us! Why don't you just get out of here and go home already?"
"Hikaru!"
Haruhi raised her voice, but she was the last person who spoke. A tense silence fell in the third music room. Tamaki felt as if he were gazing at strangers who were too far from his reach. He processed Hikaru's words in his head, and swallowed the lump down his throat.
"I see," he spoke quietly. "Then if I'm such a big nuisance, I really should leave. I should have expected the host club – who I thought were my friends – never did care."
The six members watched their king stand up wordlessly and exit the room, no longer caring whether a paper bag concealed his face or not. The door closed with an echoing shut, and Tamaki left without so much as a backwards glance.
All of a sudden, the tension in the room lifted off and dispersed in the air, as if it never happened.
"Phew! I thought he'd never leave!" Kaoru said, and gave a light slap to his brother on the back. "That was a nice play, Hikaru, though you might have overdone it with that last sentence."
Haruhi whipped around to the remaining host club members and they noticed a deep crease had appeared on her forehead. "Why did you guys say something like that?" she asked, exasperated. "I know Tamaki-senpai was acting all dramatic over his zit, but even he didn't deserve to be told off so harshly!"
Honey blinked up at the girl. "Huh? But how else are we going to have time to discuss about the plan without him around?"
"What?" she replied, puzzled.
"And besides," Kaoru said, with a shrug, "it's just a zit. He'll get over a few mean words."
But the scholarship student didn't believe so. She frowned down at her shoes, remembering the somber look on Tamaki's face when he had gazed at his friends earlier.
"Maybe Tamaki's greatest dilemma isn't about some silly little zit," she murmured to herself. "Maybe it's something that's been on his mind the entire time…"
This time, it was the host club's turn to be confused, as Haruhi snapped her head up and said, "I don't think senpai's going to get over this so easily. I'm going to try to talk to him, since apparently none of you will."
As the brunette trailed after their king, the door was slammed shut once again and five remaining students were left standing.
Kyouya broke the stillness as he spoke up. "… Hikaru, Kaoru, did you ever tell Haruhi about our plan?"
"Hikaru, you were supposed to do it, right?" Kaoru asked.
"Uhh, yeah." The older twin scratched his head. "But I'm always going along with you, so I asked Honey-senpai to do it."
"Yup! And I told Takashi to tell her! Right?"
The host club members all turned their heads to the tall senior looming over them.
"…"
Mori mumbled an apology, but Kyouya waved a hand to indicate it was fine.
"We'll just tell her after she comes back," he said, and then turned to the twins. "So what is this idea you two came up with to 'save the boss on picture day tomorrow'?"
"Yay, we're gonna save Tama-chan!" Honey exclaimed, bouncing his stuffed bunny Usa-chan in his arms.
Both redheads grinned as all members circled around, devising a plan for their one and only king. Kaoru revealed a long list (that he had also pulled out of nowhere) of strange items, ranging from basic food ingredients to bizarre hair products. As their friends leaned in to read the words scrawled on the wrinkly paper, the twins began explaining their preparations.
"It's gonna get a little messy," Kaoru said, and they knew he wasn't talking about the handwriting.
Hikaru finished his brother's line with a juvenile grin and five words that spelled trouble for Ouran's club picture day tomorrow.
"… But the messier, the better."
To be concluded.
Author's Note: I apologize for the laaaazy writing, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter. At first it was extremely difficult for me to move on from the first scene where Tamaki was in the bathtub – not because I didn't know what was going to happen next (I knew basically how things were going to happen before starting this story), but because I was so, so, very lazy and uninspired. But the reviews I've received when I posted the first chapter were really nice and supportive, so I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, story alerted, faved, or read this story. I hope this chapter isn't too disappointing…?
In case you are wondering, all of Tamaki's "homemade remedies" really are on the internet. I'm not guaranteeing they work, however! Which brings me to this question, because I'm just curious and I think it'd be interesting to discuss while waiting for the third chapter: how do YOU get rid of your zits, or what's the craziest thing you've done to get rid of one? And would you ever attempt one of the cures Tamaki tried?
As for me, I probably won't try any of those remedies. And I'd tell you how I handle my zits… but that would spoil the ending.
:)
