Chapter 2: Not So Different
Previously...
He wasn't one for demonstrations of affection or... words. They would probably mock him for it under normal circumstances, but if anyone else noticed him holding Mikey a little closer and nuzzling his head gently, they didn't mention it as they jogged alongside him.
"I got ya, Mikey. No one's gonna hurt ya." He told Mikey softly in his deep baritone and Mikey burrowed into the space where his neck met his shoulders, his hand coming to rest flat against Raph's plastron. At least he was responding to him even if his responses were worrying the hell out of him. He had stopped that horrible whimpering he was doing earlier in the darker parts of the tunnels and slumped against his strong brother's chest looking for comfort Raph wasn't sure he was giving him. He wasn't good at this comfort crap. Tell him who hurt you and who to hit and he was game, but this...
Leonardo came up to him then. "Don will run ahead and prepare the infirmary. We'll keep our headsets on in case we need anything." He directed the last part at Donatello who was sweating and out of breath but his face was determined and he increased his pace to run ahead of them.
Raph shook his head and slowed down a bit. Donnie was gonna need to seriously get back into training. Ever since Sensei had stopped training them and then the... thing with him and Leo, Don had been more distant. He was already quite reserved and liked to hide himself away in the lab but now it had gotten to a point where he'd skip training more often than not and they wouldn't see him for a few days straight. They might only catch glimpses of him when he went for coffee or Mikey convinced him to eat a sandwich. He had lost quite a bit of weight and he was ashamed to realise that he hadn't noticed how much until now.
Leo, matched his decrease in speed and fell into step beside him. "Do you need me to carry him for a bit?" Raph shook his head again and glanced at his older brother. The crease on his forehead from his worried looks seemed to have been fixed there. It was a permanent wrinkle caused by the weight on his shoulders. The weight he put there himself, he snorted to himself. "What?" Leonardo answered to the noise, his frown deepening, the crease on his forehead showing more.
"He's gonna be fine." He said, not sure if it was for Leo or for himself. "Don'll fix him right up. He'll be his annoying self in no time so wipe that frown off your face."
Leonardo's eye ridge went up a fraction and then his expression went blank. He seemed to have not realised he had dropped his 'mask' back when he heard the scream and forgot to put it back on until now.
Raphael sighed. That was not what he meant. The crease was still there, he didn't have to pretend for him, for them. What did he think he was accomplishing by hiding himself this way? If Don hid himself physically in the interior of his train car turned lab, Leonardo hid himself in plain sight. He would become cold, aloof, like he was above such mundane things as feelings. It pissed him off so much. He ground his teeth and kept his gaze forward. No more talking, he was only going to make things worse.
Raphael increased his speed again and was nearly sprinting when he came across a familiar section of the sewers which he recognized as being near the entrance to their new lair. Leonardo sped ahead and reached the wall first, tapping a certain brick that lowered a keypad to enter a combination. The wall slid forward and then to the side almost completely in silence and Raph nudged Leonardo aside a bit roughly to take Michelangelo along the train tracks in the tunnel to the subway car they had turned into an infirmary/meditation room separating the two spaces with a removable panel in case they needed to fit more patients or equipment inside.
Donatello was in the car and he had moved an oxygen tank by the bed and was preparing some equipment to check Mikey. Splinter wasn't in sight and Raphael felt slightly relieved. He didn't need to see Mikey like this. He edged over to the bed but Donatello stopped him with a touch to his shoulder and gestured towards the steel examination table at the other end of the car. Raphael frowned. He didn't think Mikey was so bad off that he couldn't look at him from the bed but he went anyway. He placed Mikey on the table with a loud clap as his carapace met the hard surface and extended his legs carefully along the table. He reached to his belt to remove his nunchucks, setting them aside and then tried lowering his upper body to lay flat but Mikey wouldn't budge. Raphael turned to look at Don, he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't really want to let go of Mikey either.
Donnie stood by him looking at Mikey with worried eyes. "Mikey, can you lay down for a bit I need to get a look at you." He wouldn't respond so Donatello started pulling him off Raph firmly but as gently as he could. Mikey's hands were curled around the edge of Raphael's carapace over his shoulders, his face turned into Raph's neck. Don brought himself close as he whispered comforting words in his brother's ear, uncurling his fingers from his older brother and lowering him down on the cold surface.
Mikey's eyes were shut, his face scrunched up in a pained grimace and the awful whimpering had started again. He shushed him softly and asked Raphael to wait outside and close the door. Raph held his ground, his arms crossed in front of him in a challenge but after an incredulous look from Donnie he did as he was told. He didn't need to protect Mikey from Don. He was on edge that's all.
He nearly ran into Leonardo on his way out. "What's going on?"
"Don wants to examine Mikey or somethin', asked us ta wait outside." Raphael shrugged. Now the waiting game would start. He didn't like this, waiting around for answers. He itched to head out again and go back to that place to find what had spooked his brother. To find who did this to him. He had said something about a woman and "they" had done something to her. Instead he went to the kitchen to get something to drink while Leonardo entered the infirmary. He shook his head and smirked when he saw him leave after a few seconds, Don had kicked him out too. What did he think, that he was more useful than Raph in this situation?
He watched Leonardo stand outside the infirmary with a bewildered expression on his face, clearly confused about having been dismissed. Things were different now. Sure, they had all played nice for a couple of hours while they ran around a bit remembering the old days, but they were back home now. Don did things his own way. He had become too used to calling his own shots to start following Leo blindly and obey orders like a lapdog.
He felt a bit sad about it though. Not the lapdog part. Donnie used to have this shine in his eyes he rarely saw any more. Maybe he just wasn't challenged how he used to be. Nothing like a bloodthirsty clan after your family to push you to do extraordinary things. He used to look at Leo differently as well. There was admiration there. Not any more. That was gone after the incident, after their fight. There's nothing like seeing your hero act like a rabid animal to kill that perfect image he had of his older brother. Donatello hadn't spoken to either of them for a couple weeks after that. He had sewn them up and tended their wounds but hadn't spoken a word and it had changed him.
Raphael and Leonardo had avoided each other since then. At least, as much as it was possible when they were confined in the small abandoned subway station they had found after a mutated Hun had torn their last lair apart. It was meant to be a temporary solution until they found something better, but they hadn't. They were sharing rooms, if you could call the four converted subway cars rooms. They had pulled out most of the seating, put in beds and lighting and Donatello had put up separating panels to divide the cars in to two rooms each. It didn't give them much in the way of privacy, every step or noise could be heard and even felt by the other. Splinter's car had been at one point divided into a meditation room and his personal quarters but after the "incident" Leonardo was made to move in, much to his shame. Raphael was now sharing with Mikey and Donatello had a car to himself on the other side of the tracks with the other half being his lab. The platform on that end was littered with larger projects he couldn't fit into the car. The fourth car, parked on the furthest end of the tracks was now the infirmary/meditation room.
The rest of the lair was open space, the old platform for the station served as a living area, eating area and dojo. On the wall by the recently installed mismatched kitchen appliances and cabinets was a door to the rest rooms and a small storage room not much larger than a broom closet. He had fixed up the men's room and converted the ladies' room into showers, pulling out the stalls, installing shower heads along the wall and with a big tub taking up the whole end where they could soak stretched out comfortably whenever the need arose. They were turtles, after all.
Raphael's only real interaction with Leonardo was occasional training sessions. Mikey would join sometimes too, more often with Leonardo but he suspected it was more about company and humouring the brothers than a real interest in maintaining his training. Donatello rarely showed up any more. Raph still did his own strength training and the odd kata here and there but he sometimes joined Leonardo for unarmed sparring when Master Splinter called them to do so under his supervision. His lip curled at the thought. He wasn't a wild animal, he wasn't going to lose it and go after his brother... again. Leonardo would spend his time training obsessively, practising katas and meditating at all hours of the day and he was surprised to know he had been going topside alone most nights Raph had gone out as well. At first he was annoyed by it, thinking he was being followed around. He had been suspicious of how easily Leonardo acquiesced to him leaving the lair and thought that maybe the only reason for it was because he had stealthily been chasing him around and watching over him like he was his god-damned babysitter. Leonardo was crazy good at the stealth thing. If he didn't want you to see him, you wouldn't.
He was shocked one night to realise he wasn't. Raph had hidden in the shadows of a tunnel waiting to see if he could catch Leo at his own game and was surprised when he shot past him towards the nearest manhole cover. Raph had followed him at a considerable distance, worried about getting caught but intrigued as to what Fearless Leader Leonardo was up to. He followed him around as Leo sprinted across rooftops at top speed, running as if the devil were after him. He seemed to be going in a certain direction, not cutting across the city in a large circle like when they trained. After a long time, when Raph was about to give up, tired out of his mind, Leo had stopped on a rooftop and collapsed, panting heavily. They were way out of their usual area, near an abandoned section of the docks. He took a moment to catch his own breath when he saw Leo get up and slam his fists against the ledge giving a frustrated yell out to the world. Raph knew all too well about that feeling. He hated Leo when he acted all high and mighty, pretending to be better than the others when he knew perfectly well that they were very similar. Leo just hid it better, pretended to be perfect when he was just as fucked up and unhappy about their circumstances as he was. He seemed to deflate after that and if he didn't know any better, he would have seen the shake of his shoulders and thought he was crying. But Fearless don't cry. Specially not about something stupid like the unfairness of the world or his family doing their own thing for once. Without him.
Raphael had turned around and left him on his own after that. The next day before leaving he had let him know. He didn't ask for permission or nothing. It's not like he owed Splinter Junior anything. Just said it out loud, in his vicinity. Leonardo had looked up surprised and gave him a small nod, just the tiniest movement of his chin to let him know he had heard. He had been dancing around Raph walking on egg shells since, trying to bring up small talk like he was talking to someone who might snap. The fuck do I care about the weather today? It's not like I can see it from here.
He reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of orange juice. It was Mikey's but he figured he owed him since he had dragged his butt around the sewers like a freaking blushing bride and let himself be cried on. Now that he had let some distance and time pass he was embarrassed about it. Mikey was fine, just a little shaken up, that's all. He opened the bottle and took a swig. It tasted awful. Like guilt and regret. He put the cap back on and returned it to the fridge.
"Use a glass if you're not going to finish it. You got soot over everything." Raph looked up, surprised Leonardo had addressed him. It had been a long time. He smirked and used the whole palm of his hand to close the white fridge door leaving a smudged black hand-print. Then turned and walked straight to the showers, his smirk increasing with the frustrated noise Leo made in his throat. He didn't see the small upwards twitch of Leo's lips at his actions. This was the closest thing to normal he had felt around Raph in a while.
After they had both showered and had a snack, Raph and Leo sat on the couch in front of the tv side by side. They had the news on a local station, waiting to see reports on the fire but they were only covering sports and weather. They pretended to watch whatever was on but they both had their senses tuned to the infirmary door. When they had emerged the whimpering had already stopped. Leonardo was of a mind to go see Master Splinter. The fact that he hadn't woken up with the sound was worrying him. After poking his head through the door and seeing the slow rise and fall of his chest he had left him be. This could be addressed in the morning. Some time ago, he remembered, Master Splinter would always catch him before he even knocked on the door or approached the shoji screen. Now he didn't even stir after opening and stepping inside his room.
They both heard Donatello's gentle voice at the same time and Raph lifted the remote and put the tv on mute. They exchanged glances and listened to his muffled words though they couldn't make them out. After a couple minutes Mikey's frantic speech made both turtles rise. "I've had enough of this." Leo said out loud and Raphael grunted his agreement. They both headed to the infirmary and entered. Mikey abruptly cut off what he was saying as Donatello whirled on them, hands raised, ready to kick them out. Leonardo cut him off quickly with his own raised hand. "This is a family matter, Don. We need to know what is going on. What happened in there?" He looked directly at Mikey with his question.
Mikey's gaze went to the floor and he shook his head. "I don't know, it was dark. There was smoke everywhere. I'm not sure what I s-saw." His voice was too soft and trembling. This wasn't right. Why would he lie?
"Ya tryin' to tell me that the freak out ya had back there was because of all the smoke and you 'thought' you saw some woman?" Raph bellowed a little louder than even he expected causing Mikey to flinch, his trembling getting worse.
"You two are NOT helping!" Donatello was herding them backwards towards the open door as they both spoke up talking to Michelangelo, demanding answers. "He's just getting over the shock. Right now is not the time for this!" He was trying to make himself heard over their loud voices.
"What is going on here!?" Master Splinter's firm, authoritative voice cut through the others and all three turtles grew silent.
"Master Splinter," Leonardo began, "Something happened to Mikey when we went out on patrol. We were separated in a fire and he was acting strangely when we pulled him from the building. We are trying to ascertain what happened while he –".
"Sensei," Donatello interrupted. He would have never done that before. He would have waited until Leo was done talking and not spoken over him. "Michelangelo was unconscious when we got to him and he went into a confused state due to carbon monoxide poisoning. I've had him on oxygen since we brought him back but he needs to clean up and rest. I want to keep him calm and under observation until he recovers. Explanations can wait. He was just trapped in a burning building, nothing that needs immediate action or retaliation."
Once upon a time, Master Splinter would have pulled Leonardo aside to listen to his full side of the story and he would have put his trust on his eldest son's decision. It wasn't that he considered Donatello to be less trust-worthy but would have weighed Leonardo's opinions carefully and not dismissed them so quickly. Instead he said, "I trust your judgment, Donatello. We shall reunite in the morning for a full explanation in the dojo. Rest, my son." He put a boney paw on Michelangelo's shoulder and squeezed gently, smiling as Mikey leaned into the touch and nodded slightly. Matter settled to his satisfaction he walked back to his room leaning heavily on his walking stick. Leonardo made to help him but he was waved away.
With Mikey's gaze still firmly set on the floor the other three turtles stood in silence. Don held Leo's gaze in a stand off and Raph glanced from one to the other. He turned his head and made sure Splinter had already entered his room before speaking. "That's a load of bull, Don and you know it." He lowered his voice so as to not call the attention of the elderly rat. Don wasn't even listening to him, still squaring off to Leo. Raph had had enough. He snapped his fingers between their faces. He wasn't going to put up with their pissing contest. Who cared who was Splinter's favourite now? "Hey, yeah, I'm talking to you, Egghead".
Donatello's furious gaze snapped to Raphael and he almost flinched at their hazel fury. Almost. Don couldn't take him. Probably couldn't even put up a decent fight. Not any more. He probably couldn't even push him to the door. "Get. Out." Donatello growled between gritted teeth, his hands fisted at his sides.
Leonardo who was standing arms crossed in front of him, pinched the bridge of his snout between his eyes, massaging the growing headache there and attempting to sound reasonable. "Don, please, just a few questions. He seems well enough." He gestured to the mask-less turtle sitting on the edge of the exam table with his legs dangling over the edge. Chin to his chest and elbows on his knees, his hands hung limply between them. He was the perfect picture of misery, but there was something off in his eyes. They were still too wide and his breathing was off. Maybe it truly was due to the smoke, but he wanted to hear it from him.
Donatello opened his mouth, about to say something when said miserable turtle spoke up. "Nothing happened. I made a mistake. I wasn't feeling well and my head felt fuzzy. Look, we'll talk tomorrow and go through it but there's just nothing to say other than I thought I saw someone, got turned around in that maze of a building and must have breathed in too much smoke."
Donatello closed his mouth and nodded. "There you go. Happy? We'll talk more about it tomorrow."
Leonardo was not pleased with this explanation. He put his hand on Mikey's shoulder and crouched down in front of him, trying to catch his eye. "Look at me, Mikey." He paused and waited for the smaller turtle to comply. "You were screaming, Mikey. We heard you through the communicators. It sounded like," he paused again to swallow. It had been the worst noise he had ever heard. It sounded like his little brother was being killed, or was scared out of his mind and he couldn't stop it. "It sounded like something awful was happening to you."
"Understatement of the year." Raphael muttered but he stepped back to lean his hip on the opposite end of the exam table and let Leonardo continue. Even Donatello sat back on the low bed crammed in a corner of the car.
Michelangelo was shaking his head again. "I- I don't remember doing that. I don't know..." He closed his eyes for a second and winced momentarily. He snapped his eyes open right after and brought his eyes to another spot of the infirmary floor, avoiding Leonardo's gaze once again.
Leo sighed and got back up, shaking his head. He gestured to Don to go outside but Don gestured no. "I want to get Mikey washed up and in bed with oxygen."
Raphael, about to lose his patience again grabbed Leo by the elbow and dragged him out of the car. "C'mon Fearless, we ain't going ta get anywhere here." He stormed off with Leonardo in tow and went down onto the tracks, through the tunnel and right out the entrance to the lair.
Leonardo dug his heels in the sewer floor and wrenched his arm from his brother's hold. "Where are you going?" he demanded.
"WE are going back ta the building on Bleeker Street ta get some answers." He gestured between both of them with a wave of his hand, a smirk on his face. After a moment of holding Leonardo's obsidian gaze he grew serious. "You know as well as me that something happened in there Mikey isn't tellin' us. That wasn't the smoke, he was screaming like someone was tearing him apart. All the way back he was looking at the shadows like they were going to attack him and now he looks like a hunted animal all wide-eyed and twitchy." He pointed back towards the lair where Michelangelo was. When Leonardo turned his head slightly in that direction he lowered his voice before continuing. "If he's not talking then we find proof and show it to him. Someone did something ta our brother and I'm not gonna stand around when I could be doing something about it!" He ended his speech practically yelling at the top of his lungs and panting with fury. It was the most words they had exchanged for a long time and Raphael was tense, ready to put up a fight. Leonardo had to be able to see things his way on this, right?
Leonardo closed his eyes for a moment, seeming to consider his brothers words. Truth was, he wanted to find answers just as much as Raph did and he was as furious as Raph was. If there was someone to be held responsible for what had happened, God help them. "Let's move." He said in a low voice before darting off into the tunnels. Raph laughed darkly behind him, relieved as he sped up falling into formation as they used to, covering his left side, matching him step for step. The corner of Leo's mouth twitched upwards for the third time today. Just like old times, he thought to himself.
