Jane never wants to go the hospital to get stitches or whatever whenever she gets injured, and Maura is always there to stitch her up, but not until after berating her for getting scraped up, again, and being offered many many bribes.
"Maurrrraaaaaa!" came an exasperated whine from none other than the great Detective Jane Rizzoli, making the entire crime lab stop what they were doing to look across the hall to the autopsy suite where Jane was perched on a clean autopsy table.
"I will not just 'stitch you up', Jane." Dr. Maura Isles said, not looking up from her laptop.
Susie Change, the senior criminalist got up from her chair and promptly shut the door, blocking out the sound, and giving a glare to the rest of the lab techs to get back to work.
Just five minutes ago, Jane had walked in the open door to the autopsy suite to find Maura standing at the island counter on her laptop, cataloging various reports and evidence.
"Hey Maur? Could you do me a solid?"
Maura looked up from her computer and gasped when she saw Jane's new black eye, complete with a small gash on her cheek bone.
"Oh my god, Jane! What happened?"
The detective shrugged, "We were chasing a perp, Frankie and I split up, I cornered him and then he started swinging, he caught my eye, whatever, no big deal."
"Jane!"
"What?"
"You can't just keep letting people beat you up. You need to be more careful. Chasing suspects is dangerous!"
"Of course it is Maura. But I'm a cop. That's what cops do, remember? We chase the bad guys, the bad guys get angry and sometimes punch you. Come on Maur, just stitch me up and I can go back to work."
"No, Jane. You need to go to the hospital. Have a doctor stitch you up."
"But you're a doctor." Jane smiled sweetly
"I am a forensic pathologist, not a plastic surgeon."
"But I don't need a plastic surgeon, and you've done it before."
"No." Maura said, walking back towards her computer
"But you stitch up people all the time." Jane's arm waved, gesturing towards the whole room
"Dead people, Jane."
"But."
"If you say 'but' one more time." the doctor warned
Jane was silent a moment, thinking. She jumped up onto the autopsy table and whined "Maurrrraaaa!"
"I will not just 'stitch you up', Jane."
The brunette dropped her head, then lifted it once an idea sprung in her mind, "I'll get a kale salad for dinner tonight."
No response.
"I'll eat kale, for dinner, for a week."
Still no response.
"I'll watch that documentary on the reproduction of salamanders you were talking about yesterday."
Maura clicked away at her reports.
Jane sighed, knowing she had only one option left, her most hated option. "I'll let you dress me for that charity dinner I'm going with you to this weekend."
That got it. Maura slowly spun on her heel, squinting her eyes at the taller woman, "No complaints?"
Jane sighed, but looked hopeful, "No complaints."
"Heels?"
"If I must."
Maura happily walked over to a cabinet and grabbed all she needed from a few drawers and walked back over to her friend. She went to fill a syringe with a numbing agent but Jane waved it off, "No numbing, I can't have a dead face for the interrogation."
Maura put that down and began cleaning the wound.
"Oh." Maura said, a thought coming to her, "I know the perfect dress for you."
What have I gotten myself into? Jane thought, rolling her eyes.
