Author's note: Yeah the url for my tumblr disappeared in the last chapter and I didn't notice for days, so oops. But it's on my profile :) Anyhow, here's chapter two. I hope you like it. I don't own Criminal Minds. And please please leave reviews!
Penelope brought her legs up onto the sofa, wincing when the movement annoyed her bruises. She held her cushion and cried herself out, slowly replacing I could have died in her mind with I am here and so is he. For now it was even okay that every time she looked at him she wanted to grab him and pull him toward her and never let go, because she was alive and Derek Morgan was in her kitchen, making her hot chocolate… She gathered herself, cuddling the cushion, and wiped away the last tears. She prided herself on not dwelling on the bad stuff, so she wouldn't dwell. She'd just grab life and live it like it should be lived… She heard him coming and closed her eyes briefly. Does living life like it should be lived involve kissing Derek Morgan on the mouth right now?
She swallowed the thought as he sat down beside her and handed her an oversized mug. There was whipped cream on top and he'd dusted it with chocolate powder, and it looked spectacular. "You're spoiling me," she said, and took a sip, conscientiously avoiding getting cream on her nose although the wicked part of her brain wondered vaguely whether he'd lick it off if she asked. She closed her eyes with a satisfied 'mmm'. "You statuesque vision of domestic perfection, you steamed the milk. Steamed it. You're my hero, did I ever tell you that?"
"You might've mentioned it," he replied, smiling back. They sat in silence for a while as she drank the hot chocolate, then when she started to reach over to put the mug on the coffee table he said, "Hey, hey, I'll get that." He took it and placed it down for her, and when he looked back at her she was smiling at him, her head tilted. "What?"
"Oh nothing," she replied, and his heart stuttered a little when she flashed him a big sparkly-eyed smile. He was going to have to get a hold of himself – back and forth flirtation with Garcia was pretty much his favourite part of his life, and if he was going to start melting into a puddle every time she smiled at him they'd have to tone it down. And he'd have to transfer to Alaska.
"I'm sure," he said, ruffling her hair. "How are those ribs feeling?"
"Bruised," she replied, pouting.
"Is there something I can do?"
"Welllll," she grinned, drawing it out and smiling widely when he laughed and shook his head. "I kid. Sort of. I'll be okay, you get home. It's late."
"I can sleep on the c-"
"Go home, Derek. They're just bruises. I'll be okay."
He hesitated, unwilling to leave her when she'd been crying on the doorstep not long ago. But maybe some distance would help him get his feelings back under control. He knew he loved her. He had loved her for a long time, and they had played around and it had been lighthearted and simple and fun for a long time. But Emily was right – somewhere along the line it had changed. At some undefinable point, he'd found himself lying in bed every night wishing she was there, wishing he could just hold her, wake up with her in the morning, ask about her dreams – and today, hearing that shot and seeing her go down… It was taking all of his restraint to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her, lifting up her blouse and unwrapping the bandages to kiss her bruises, running his hands all over her body to convince himself she was really here, really alive…
Penelope was waving her hands in front of his face. "Hey. Yoo-hoo. Earth to Agent Morgan. Right here, spacecake."
He grabbed her hand and kissed it, then got up. "Okay, I'm going, I'm going… You're sure you don't need any help with anything?"
She smiled, stood up with him and squeezed his hand. "I will live. I will survive these bruises and I will wake to hack another day." She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled as his arms closed around her. She rested her head against his chest and sighed. "On the other hand this is pretty comfortable, so if you just leave your pecs behind…"
He closed his eyes, holding her as close and as tight as he could without hurting her. "No can do, baby, but just say the word and my whole body stays here." He felt her smile against his chest, and the temptation to tip her chin up and kiss her was almost overwhelming. He had to leave, he couldn't risk this…
She stepped back, dropping one hand to hold his and reaching up with the other. She ran a thumb over his cheek, opening her mouth to tell him to go home. But the words caught in her throat as he stared back at her. In the time they'd known each other, they'd had a lot of eye contact, and she thought she'd seen everything their eye contact had to offer. But she had never seen this before. There was something new in his expression, something intense and uncertain, and she didn't have to be a profiler to know it was different. For the first time ever, she found herself wishing she was a profiler – it wasn't often she didn't know what was going on in his head, and this was most definitely one of those times. Before she had time to try to figure it out, he squeezed her hand and turned away, started to walk toward the door.
"Hey!" she said, limping behind him. "What was that?"
"What was what?" he asked, already out the front door, not quite meeting her eyes.
"You just… I don't… I don't know, it was weird. You just took off. Are you okay? Did I say something?"
"I'm good," he said, trying to smile. Her wide-eyed expression was just amplifying everything – his guilt and protectiveness and the irresistible, undeniable beauty of those big brown eyes. "Goodnight, beautiful."
She smiled back weakly, unconvinced. She stared at him for a few more seconds. "You sure?"
"Positive."
"Okay… Well, sweet dreams my guardian angel." As he turned and walked away, she caught something sad in his face. That much she could read. She opened her mouth again, almost called out for him, then stopped herself. If he didn't want to tell her what was up, she shouldn't push him.
But she always pushed him. Why not now? Just because ever since he stood by her side at the back of the ambulance and rubbed her shoulder a little, she'd wanted to grab him and pull him down on top of her and kiss him until he forgot his name, and wake up every morning and do it all over again? She swallowed, watching him walk away. With every step he took, the realisation that she wasn't going to be able to suppress it this time got stronger and stronger, because she was getting more and more convinced that the something she was feeling was the something she had seen in his eyes.
He was out on the street before she did it. She threw caution to the wind. She closed her eyes and prayed she hadn't misinterpreted, because she would feel like such an idiot if she had, and this had the potential to ruin her relationship with her best friend in the world... "Derek!" she called. She saw him turn, walk back, concern all over his face. "Um. The word," she said, meeting his eyes, searching. "I'm saying the word. To request that your whole body stay here?"
He smiled. "Then my whole body stays here, sweetness."
Thank you so much for reading and please review! Comments/suggestions?
