AN/ Well thank you for the two comments I received even though I would have liked to have more I realize that Unlike a lot of other shows and books Hitch hikers guide is not quite as popular but that's not gonna stop me from typing this quite frankly funny as hell story that my brain has vicious thrown out.

So thank you two commenters XD this is for you guys hope you enjoy.

To say author's head was pounding like the various percussion instruments in a grand orchestra was an under statement. It was, or rather it felt like there was a small thunder storm brewing within his skull threatening to split it open, it made trying to gather his thoughts nearly impossible. The cobwebs in his brain felt more like bubble gum or even rubber cement and kept the wheels of his mind from turning and rising to greet the day.

There were small snippets of thought that seem to muck through his brain such as why does everything feel so sticky or why is it so hot in here and other such small question that his brain has yet to answer. It wasn't until his ears picked up a groan from next to him that sparked the fuse to his mental explosion. All of a sudden he bolt up right as that hazy memory of some one hands all over him came rushing in to him like rhinoceros, who exactly he couldn't quite remember seeing as with his buzzed brain he didn't recall stumbling back to the heart of gold with a lady (or possibly a man) on his arm. His blood shot eyes spotted a head of dark ginger-ish hair that was currently clashing against the soft white pillows of his bed. There was a churning in his stomach as the particular head of hair looked quite familiar. He was far to nervous to pull the covers back to see what was in his bed so who ever was buried under the comforter did it them selves.

Author could honestly say (if he could say anything) that he had not expected to see a very hung-over looking Betelgeusian's entering the early stages of waking up.

"Ford!"

He groaned at the surprise yell of his own name pulling the pillow that author has slept on over his head

"Author not so loud…"

"Ford, what on Ea-No what in the universe are you doing in my bed"

Ford pulled the pillow from over his face looking at Author with a slightly raised brow,

"What do you mean what am I doing in your bed"

"Don't answer my question with another question"

"Than don't yell so loud when we both know that neither of us can handle the slightest bit of loud noises at the moment"

He was about to reply with don't answer his command with another command but another key fact hit author in the face like a wet sock.

Neither he nor ford were wearing a speak of clothing.

Not a shirt

Not a sock

Not even a pair of boxers

Completely naked..In the same bed.

It was than that Ford watched as Author's brain experienced a small nuclear melt down, rebuilt it self, have yet another melt down and finally pick up the charred remains of his thought process once more.

"I uh…thank I'll uh..Go get us some breakfast" ford said with a semi comforting smile that still in shock author ignored. Ford quickly pulled him self from the comfy confines of the covers grabbing his discarded boxers and pulling them on quickly before author could have yet another mental breakdown. He scrambled out of the room and in to the hallway quickly closing the door behind him and leaving author to gather his wits.

Ford sighed some as he started the long trek to the kitchen, why in the universe did the lights have to be so damn bright, he was thankful for unlike other species Betelgeusian's recovered fairly quickly from trivial things such as hangovers, but it didn't seem to help with the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he may have in all seriousness just mentally scarred his Best friend for life. It made him groan some once more and run a hair through his somewhat ruffled hair.

"What's your problem" a familiar voice rang through out the kitchen

"Yeah" another voice exactly like the first voice spoke.

Ford only turned his head slightly seeing the face of his two headed semi-half cousins sitting there at the kitchen island.

"Nothing"

"Doesn't look like nothing," Zaphod said more so out of nosey-ness rather than concern.

"You really wanna know"

"I'm all ears semi-cousin"

"I think Me and author slept.."

Both of Zaphod face twisted some in confusion as his brow dipped to compliment the look of confusion.

"Like you know…. together"

"You mean you were so plastered you couldn't find your room so you just slept in author's?"

"No that's you…I mean, more so maybe…sort of…possible has intercourse"

Ford let his eyes fall to his feet in a bashful manor shuffling them some before a loud obnoxious laughter erupted from both of Zaphod's mouths.

"Woooow! Are you for real? I wouldn't pegged you as the first one to go for the gold!"

"Gold what gold?"

"The great goal Ix! You know what I mean"

"No I don't"

"Don't try to play that whole humble game with me you dog" He laughed almost to the point where we fell off the stool. Holding on to the counter some for support

"I never though My Cousin would be the first to shack up with an endangered species!"

Ford face went from the slight confusion that it has taken up at the sound of Zaphod laughter, to that of anger.

"Shut up Zaphod it's not that funny" A small more calming voice rang out before Ford could say anything. The thin wavy haired brunette was standing there at the entrance of the kitchen arms folded glaring some at Zaphod who slowly retracted his laughter when met with the icy stare.

"Are you serious Ford?" Her voice said as she turned those ridiculous pools of hazelnut stared holes in to him.

He knitted his fingers together looking at Trillian than back to Zaphod than back to trillion like both the little balls of blue that were his eyes were doing suicides. Trillian walked further in to the ships kitchen sitting only a little ways away from Zaphod who while one head seem to be stifling a chuckle the other was simply grinning like an idiot. Finally a sigh escaped his lips as he looked up

"Yeah, we uh, slept together or I guess you humans would say, made love"

Zaphod burst back in to a roar of laughter beating his fist against the table while wiping a few tears away from his eyes. Trillian rolled her eyes in the direction of the three-handed betelgusian, looking back at Ford

"So…are you guys~"

"I don't know when I walked out of the room Author seem to have having a small mental crisis so I left to get breakf-"

He was interrupted by the sound of shuffling foot steps both Trillian and ford's eyes settled on a still stunned looking Author who simply walked to the kitchen opened up the fridge grabbed a jar of jam and spoon and trudged right on out of the kitchen. Trillian was the first to speak,

"Oh great now he's gone and gotten the jam"

It had become a well known fact among the ship that when one ape descendent by the name of author dent was out of his wits would resort to grabbing the nearest jar of jar, some times a spoon as well and locking him self in his room and consuming the entire jar until some one eventually got the door opened and retrieved the empty jar.

"Did you…did you rape him!" Trillian suddenly jumped to the worst idea as she practically hopped out of her seat and glared daggers in to Ford. Ford put his hands up in defense a small bead of nervous sweat starting to form on his fore-head, "No At least I don't think so, I mean no! I may have been extremely intoxicated but I was no where near that inebriated to rape my best male friend!"

"Dear lord, I swear ford If I find out your lying." Trillian said quickly walking past him to hopefully catch up to the reclusive author and stop him from once again consuming the entirety of the grape confection. She exited the kitchen leaving just a some what cold feeling Ford and a cackling Zaphod.

He was but a few steps away from his room when the brown haired earth female suddenly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around snatching away the jar of grape jam before he could say "heywaitjustapicthatsmyjam.

"You'll get cavities if you eat all of this" She said motioning to the jar of jam.

"I'm an adult and I can do what I want," He said trying to sound commanding but instead coming off as incredibly whinny. Trillian rolled her eyes before ushering Author in to his room so that they might chat. She took a seat on an adjacent jar while author flopped on to his bed curling up in to a small ball while giving a heavy sigh.

"So what happened exactly"?

"I-I don't know really"

"I'm sure you do, either your thinking about it or repressing it"

"So you can read minds now"

"No offense author but your not the most unpredictable of men"

"Thanks for that."

"That's not what I mean~" She said her tone laced with a gentle comforting fluffy-ness

"I know you basically shut down when ever you don't know how to react to something"

"Oh yeah?" He said somewhat muffled by his dressing gown

"Yeah, I have no idea were this jam comfort therapy came from though"

"I like jam…"

"I know…"

"Sounds like he liked what he was doing with Ford last night a bit more" a low bored and depressed voice drifted in to the room. A familiar rainy-clouded robot stepped in to the room looked quite slouched over for a Robot.

"Kept me up all night with that they were doing."

Author began to turn a similar shade to strawberry jam, Trillian frowned some at Marvin for suddenly budding in to what was suppose to be a comforting moment.

"I have a recording if you want to listen~" he practically groaned, author was about to uncurl from his ball thought but h felt his face was far to hot with blush to reveal to Trillian. It was than that Ford chooses a wonderfully awkward point in the conversation to some retrieve his pants. And his towel that Marvin started to play the recorded of the events of last night.

It was just has bad both parties assumed. There was an array of moans, groans, purring and what sounded like a very long gratuitous make out session, as far as what well was on the recording this being a fairly clean story we are not allowed to describe in graphic detail.

Ford's face was painted with an s good amount of blush, but author…the ape descendent was so red he looked almost the same shade of a rose petal. Curling up further in to his comfort ball he shivered similar to a small dog as Trillian coughed some to clear the air of the awkward smog that was forming. "Well uh author…I can see your upset so I'll just leave you be…come on ford" she said motioning for the tall Betelgusian to fallow her out of authors room and close the door to leave him to his flustered thoughts. As soon as they were down the hallway Trillian stopped turning ford around

"We need to fix this. For the sake of all the jam in the universe…"

"Y-your right…"

End Chapter 2.

Hope you like it.!

SO the next chapter will most likely be up either tomorrow or later this week since well once I get on a roll with something most likely I pump out a lot of it before stopping for a short amount of time.

Please comment and review: D.