Disclaimer: I own none of the original Harry Potter characters, or Hogwarts itself, and everything in it. I do own, however, Jezebel Lait, Sera Weater, Marcia Sitark, Professor Marmite, the once mentioned Jeremy and the twice-mentioned Joel.

Part two: can I make it any more obvious than that? -winks-

I hope you love it.


Feet are sore, feet are sore… Just sit down Lily… sit down. "Ah, that's better," I said, reclining onto one of the many chairs around one of the many tables.

"Hey Lily." I looked to my right and saw Sera taking a breather like me. "Lovely decorations this evening," she said, looking around the Great Hall. "I mean… we've never had a ball at Hogwarts – well, we've never been to one – but I'm sure they've never looked this gorgeous." I looked at her for a second and she smiled. "You know what I mean…"

I smiled at Sera and unceremoniously propped my feet up on the chair next to mine. "Thanks. If only there was a charm for worn out feet…" I reached over and gingerly took my shoes off with minimal wincing. Oh that feels great… free the feet…

I looked around the Great Hall. It did look gorgeous. James and I had decided to keep away from the cliché Valentines Day colours when deciding the decorations and design. Everything had a shimmering glow to it, even the candlelight. Tables were draped in frost pink, candles shone misty silver and the dance floor seemed of soft blue ice. The lightest amount of sparkles flitted from the high ceiling, disappearing upon contact.

"It is pretty nice, isn't it?" I asked, slipping my feet back into my shoes with a wince. I looked over to Sera and was surprised to see her gone. I rolled my eyes and went back to surveying the dance. Yes, people seemed to be enjoying it. Dates' stepping on toes, lovers holding each other, crushes getting to dance, guys admiring the girl's efforts to look beautiful, and a few kisses stolen on the dance floor. I'll let those slide… it must be nice to get kissed by someone who likes you… who may even love you –

I was jolted out of my thoughts by someone casually offering a Knut for my thoughts. I turned and saw Remus, Sera's date, sitting beside me with an amused look on his face. "It'll cost you more than a Knut," I respond with a smile. Remus chuckled. "How goes the date?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders and leaned an arm on the table. "You know I have no romantic interests in Sera, right?" I merely raised an eyebrow. "Anymore," he finished and got my nod of approval. "Is she still dating that Muggle?"

I nodded again and took a sip of my Butterbeer. "Joel. Yes, for two years now. Amazing they're still together; even with him knowing she's a witch and about Hogwarts. You sure you don't," I trailed off when I saw Remus tilt his head and give me a smile.

"I'm sure Lily. I'm just one of the many that fell for that naïve personality…" He shook his head. Yes, there were many… Nine, last time Marcia and I counted. Ten if you included Joel. And how many of them has she dated? One; and she is still dating him. How many has she known about? Maybe three… maybe. "But don't really fancy anyone and didn't want to bring someone I thought might expect more." I nodded in understanding and smiled at his sweet demeanour. "You didn't bring anyone?"

Hm… the question I was hoping to avoid. "Nope. I guess my reason may be similar to yours… or vice versa. No one wanted to ask me, thinking I'd probably want more." That's right… I'll just keep telling myself that. I sighed and Remus excused himself as a Ravenclaw timidly asked him to dance.

"Hey there Lily," I heard Marcia call as she sauntered over to my table. "Just soaking it all in that you made this happen?" She sat down where Remus just was and grabbed my goblet of Butterbeer. "Look what the great Lily Evans did!" she said in mock astonishment, taking a swig of my drink. "Lily Evans? Oh yes – the one and only Head Girl – red hair, green eyes, luscious lips, and voluptuous breasts-"

"Ok! I get it – you like the layout," I intercepted quickly, certain my face was pink and everyone had heard her. "Keep your bloody voice down."

Marcia rolled her eyes. "When did I say I liked the layout?" But I could tell she loved it. "Too… innocent for me."

"Innocent?" I repeated with my lips staying parted.

Marcia nodded fervently, blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh yes. You really should have gone hard-core Valentines Day. After all, what usually comes after the chocolates and flowers?" I just kept my blank stare ongoing. "Exactly. Imagine what Dumbledore would have said if you told him that as your idea…" she mused, leaving me just a couple gulps of Butterbeer left in my drink.

"What? Hey Dumbledore, mind if we go Playboy style for the dance?" I said, overly sarcastic but getting a laugh from my friend nonetheless. "Gee, I wonder what he'd say."

"Miss Evans, I wish for you to resign your badge," said a deep voice from behind that made me jump and blush when I saw him smiling at me.

"Hullo James," Marcia smiled. "Care for a dance?"

James shook his head. "Not again. You're mental when you dance."

Marcia ignored his comment and nodded her head. "That's right; you've already had a turn…" While James and I shared a quick humorous glance, Marcia scanned the Hall.

I lightly nudged James with my elbow and signed him to watch. "Hey Marci, I think I know who you haven't danced with yet…"

Marcia turned. "Who?" she asked, awaiting my response.

I grinned cheekily. "Peter."

Marcia stood up instantly and pointed a finger at me, glare in place. "I hate you." She fixed her eyes on James as he laughed. "And you too." With that she left James and I. Not a horrible predicament at all.

"Feet sore from dancing?" James asked me.

"Sore from dancing and just the shoes themselves," I told him. "Whoever decided high heels were a must for formal occasions was seriously disturbed." I had been thinking of asking James to dance the whole night. I know I'm not the greatest of dancers, but I can move when the need calls for it. But what if he thinks I like him? Well, I've admitted to myself that I did… but what if he found out? I've gone through all the possibilities millions of times. Of course, as they say, the worst he could say is no. But no – the worst he could do is pity me, tell me that he likes me only as a friend and that no, we just aren't meant for each other. And in my imaginative times, I've pictured him running off with one of my friends, laughing the whole time.

My father was a psychologist and I used to read his books. Nothing can mess you up more than those: you soon believe that you have every ailment in them. For years I thought I was a pyrotechnic (I had set a few things aflame; first signs of magic), until my father sat me on his knee and told me never to take everything so literally.

I had also used what I learned from the books to pick apart people's personalities. Mine I had picked apart a few years ago and now I know more about myself than I ever thought I would. I know I'm insecure. I know I'm an overachiever. I know I crave compliments, but never believe them.

Therefore, when it comes to asking someone out on a date… well, I never have. When it comes to people asking me out on a date… well, for some reason, that's never happened either.

So my wild imagination of James running off with a friend or some floozy has never been proven wrong, hence my wary attitude towards dating.

Drama Queen, I know. I blame it all on Marcia; and the books… but more on Marcia.

Alright Lily, just ask him… you never know until you try, right? You're in Gryffindor for a reason.

"Well, I wouldn't really know," James joked, picking up my Butterbeer. I nodded and he took half the last gulp. "Good stuff."

A slow song started up and I steeled all my courage. I gulped the last of my Butterbeer and faced James. All you have to say is:

"Hey James, want to dance?"

My head snapped up to Jezebel, my left eye ready to twitch. Play it cool Lily… play it cool. Take breaths… breathe. She doesn't know you like him. No one does, you hide it so well… fear of rejections… just breath normally. Don't make it look like you're hyperventilating–

"Sure. I'll talk to you later, ok Lily?" James said. He was completely unaware of my mental breakdown.

"Sure," I replied not trusting myself to say anymore. And off he went with one of my friends. Apparently my façade stayed up. Good. Or was that bad? Would it have been better if I had told them I was going to ask James to dance? Jezebel would have been fine with it, I know she would. She doesn't like James. She's really obvious when she fancies someone. And James? Holding back a snort, I realise he would have loved to know that two girls wanted to dance with him. I'm sure he would have hoped for a catfight of sorts. I smoothed out my pearl dress robes and stood up. I grabbed my goblet and made my way over to the refreshments. I poured myself some Butterbeer and began chugging it back. A voice from behind me startled my drinking and caused me to sputter out the warm drink.

"Sorry Lily," Peter apologized, handing me a napkin. I wiped my chin, hands, and the side of the goblet. "Marcia's nowhere near here is she?"

"No," I replied, not wanting to talk to the boy, especially if he was just going to complain about my friend. "You can come out from behind the table, Peter."

He came out and brushed off his robes. How long was he back there? "She was on the war path earlier, and Sirius said he'd heard her grumbling my name… then he steered her away."

Oh my God… I nearly burst out laughing. She was only angry after the comment I made. I'll call that one; it was my fault. "Oh really?" He nodded. "I wonder why that is," I said calmly, forcing a slightly perplexed look to cross my face. How valiant for Sirius to save Peter and take Marcia away; to where, well, most likely behind a statue or something. Their on-again, off-again relationship had gotten to the point of uninteresting.

"I mean, I haven't done anything to her… she's the one who keeps this thing going," Peter rambled on and I blocked him off. This isn't what I cared to hear during a ball.

Back to my brooding… I could cut in. No, that wouldn't be nice. I sighed and nodded along with whatever Peter might be saying. I could always just hang around the outskirts of the dance floor and wait for the song to finish. I sighed and finished my drink. I'm an amateur when it comes to this sort of thing…

"So, I don't know what she has against me if it was her who terminated the relationship by going out with someone else," Peter finished. Hm, he didn't name the guy she dumped him for. He looked at me as if waiting for a response of sorts.

I held back a roll of my eyes. "Just be happy she didn't string you along. That was five years ago and you two only went out for a few weeks," I said it as softly as I could, and by Peter's expression, I sounded quite sincere. "I say ignore her." I excused myself and began walking to the doors. I let out an aggravated sigh of relief. That's it I'm leaving.

I pushed myself through a throng of students, muttering apologies and excusing myself. Honestly, who hangs out near the doors? I decided to head to the Common Room. The younger students should be in bed by now.

"Lily!"

I shut my eyes momentarily. All I wanted to do was leave! Instead of running full speed ahead, I decided to sweetly throw off the owner of the voice. "Yes Sirius?" I asked, turning around. He and Marcia were walking towards me, cheeks rosy; they must have been outside in the February cold.

"Are you leaving?" Sirius asked as they reached me.

I rolled my eyes. Speaking of the two Peter was complaining about… Symptoms: messed up hair, red lips, smeared lipstick, satisfied faces… Prognosis? Snogging outside. They caught my eye roll and their grins widened. "I'm tired, so I'm heading to bed." And want to be left alone.

They shared a quick look. "Alright, I'll see you lovely ladies tomorrow." What does he mean?

Marcia and I wished him a goodnight and he left back to the Great Hall. I turned and began walking up the stairs, holding my dress robes up. I've tripped on the steps before and didn't care to repeat the incident. Marcia followed my lead and stayed by my side.

"You don't have to come," I said quietly. Marcia stayed quiet and didn't look at me. I don't want you to come… "Marcia, just go back to the ball." Please. I could feel my eyes stinging in the back. I just want to be left alone until I fall asleep.

Marcia didn't leave.

Through my inner sniffles, I smirked inwardly. She knew me better than myself sometimes. I guess company wouldn't be such a bad idea.

In our dorm we changed silently, washed our faces and brushed our teeth in silence. Brushing our hair was a silent activity as well.

I crawled atop my bed and lay down, further to the right. Marcia crawled on top beside me and we both lay on our backs, staring at the dull canopy of my bed.

"So it's like this…"

And so began my mindless rant about my troubles. But did I ever mention my crush on James Potter? No. Oh I brought up my nearly asking him to dance, but I never elaborated on that in an 'I fancy him' sort of way. None of my friends have known about my little fancies. When I brought it up last year, they were surprised to hear that I liked Remus in third year. I thought I had been obvious… Interesting.

Marcia barely said a word the entire hour of my babbling. Now if only I could get the truth out.

I do fancy James Potter, more than I've ever fancied anyone else before. I like more than his eyes, hair and the little dimple on his chin. I don't see him as a Quidditch star or as the magnificent Head Boy. He's James. He's the boy who, in fourth year, helped me mend my scraped knee after a rough class of Care of Magical Creatures. He's the boy who loves chocolate but hates chocolate milk; who has a hated rival, but loves his friends to unspeakable limits. The boy captured my heart and makes me blush when he smiles my way, laugh when he winks and smile when he compliments me. And you know what? I believe his compliments.

So how, Marci, can I ask him out with the undeniable chance of him saying no? How can I save myself from so much pain and yet still find out if there's a chance for us? I've never done this before; I have no experience.

Our talk finished, my most desperate thoughts left as such and never spoken. Marcia kissed the top of my head and dishevelled my hair, saying that I was going to be all right. When she left to grab her favourite pillow from the Common Room (she had claimed it as hers a few years ago), I rolled over and cried.

I'll only be alright because I want you to think I will be. I needed to get this out of me and do it truthfully.

- - - - - - - - - -

What the bloody hell am I doing up at this hour? I thought, pulling on a shirt and my Quaffle slippers. "Sirius?" I mumbled sleepily. "Sirius… I think I'm going to fall asleep on the way dowwwwn," my sentence was cut off by a yawn, "there," I finished.

"You'll be fine, James," Sirius hushed me. Ugh, it's past two am. Sure there was a time when I could get up this early to prank someone… but being Head Boy and having NEWTS to study for – that put a lot on my plate. "Where's Peter?"

"Bugger me if I know," I muttered, sitting on my bed and resting my head on one of the pillars.

Sirius gave me a sly grin. "You better hope you don't know then."

My eyes shot open. "Oh that's just wrong, Padfoot." Well, that woke me up. I'll thank anyone up on high if they don't give me mental images this evening when I finally get back to sleep.

"I think Peter's in the Common Room waiting for us," Remus said, walking out of the bathroom where he was washing up. I don't really know what was with him, but he's a really clean guy. Easily an oxymoron, I know, but that was Remus. Maybe it's a werewolf thing. I decided to push it out of my head and think about it later.

With a frown, I wondered why I even cared to begin with. It was too damn early.

I heard Sirius snigger. "I don't think Prongs wanted to know where Peter was." Let them take my frown any way they wanted.

"No one would, with the proposition you gave him, Padfoot," Remus told him bluntly. Ah, good old Remus – I haven't said a word for a while and he got out what I thought in one.

"Is he even awake?"

"Yes I am, you dumbass," I said to Sirius, grudgingly getting up. "As much fun as this will undoubtedly be, I'm tired."

"Well, let's get moving then," Remus said. "We've spent too much time working on this to have it all go to waste."

"We could always do it another night," I opted hopefully, hitting the doorframe with my arm as we left our dormitory.

"It's the principle, James," Sirius said in an obvious voice. I held back a roll of my eyes, but they wouldn't have seen it in the dim lights. I decided to roll them anyways. "Nice delayed reaction there, Prongs." How in Hades did he see that?

We gathered Peter under the cloak, as a rat thankfully, and left the Gryffindor Tower en route to the Slytherin Dungeons. We stopped at the appropriate wall – Peter had lost the map (graciously cleared) to Filch a month before – and said the password Sirius spied a third year use the other day.

Oh so casually, we placed pamphlets on the Common Room centre table. We split up once we reached the boys dormitories and each took a different year. Stealthily, I placed a pamphlet sticking out from under a sixth year's bed, another in his dorm mate's drawer and one more on the bathroom sink. According to the plan, the other three were to do similar things.

I moved from that room and into the seventh year boy's. It was cleaner than I expected it to be. With a grin, I placed a pamphlet in Snape's bag, another sticking out from under Avery's pillow and one more in a drawer in their bathroom. I was quite surprised to see shampoo with Snape's name labelled on it. With a last second of genius, I preformed a quick spell on it and chuckled myself out of there.

I met up with the boys on the stairs and we smiled to each other. "Done," I whispered cockily. My, I don't seem to be so tired anymore.

"And Snape?" Sirius whispered back excitedly.

"In his bag and a spell on his shampoo," I whispered back with barely contained chuckling.

He proudly patted me on the back. "There's my boy."

We got back to our own dormitories and I happily went to bed, a smile still on my face. If Slytherins were as desperate as Sirius and I painted them to be while we all created the pamphlets, then tomorrow would be a great day.

- - - -

"What's happened Professor McGonagall?" Lily asked our Head of House as she ushered us from Defence Against The Dark Arts. I was nearly skipping with excitement.

"You'll see Evans. Potter, why are you smiling so much? This is terribly important," McGonagall scolded me with a scrutinizing stare.

"Sorry Professor, just something Sirius said before I left," I lied, reminding myself to keep my head. We were on our way to the Hospital Wing. I wanted to clap for myself and the other three already. Another reason I was smiling: Snape's hair had a tad more volume to it this morning. I was very proud of myself today when all through breakfast it just kept rising and rising and rising…

McGonagall turned to us, one hand on the Infirmary's handle. "Now don't make fun of any of the casualties," she said sternly, looking at me and not even sparing a glance to Lily. Did she think Lily was some sort of angel? Actually…

"I'd never do such a thing," I told her with a good fake solemn face. Inside I was giddy with anticipation. Just open the doors already Minerva!

She did. There was nothing to see at first, except eleven beds with their curtains pulled. That sight alone got a short, low chuckle from me. I cleared my throat.

"There was something stuck in my throat," I told the two ladies who looked at me oddly. Lily looked as though she didn't believe me. I'm sure she didn't.

"Now, apparently these," McGonagall brandished a few pamphlets at us, "were found in the Slytherin Boy's dormitories this morning."

I could feel the need of my eyes to water. I desperately wanted to run back and tell the guys or lay on the floor and laugh myself stupid. "What are they?" I made myself ask, hoping my confused façade was good enough to fool the strict teacher.

With slightly flared nostrils, McGonagall spoke. "Apparently someone thought it a funny Aprils Fools joke to present the boys with leaflets on… enlargement."

I let a small snort escape me. The sheer idea of it was funny. I apologized quickly.

"Well, the contents are as shown," Lily opened it as McGonagall spoke, "and they were quite… blunt and were made to pick on any male's insecurities." Lily's face and neck was going red, I noticed. "The spell they have written on there is inaccurate, to say the least. Secretly, these boys tried it and one by one… made their way down here, each speaking about this pamphlet." I looked at it over Lily's shoulder, standing close to her, and kept a confused, yet slightly humoured face.

Lily lifted her red face, which seemed embarrassed to read such content. It wasn't graphic or anything, trust me. The back of her head brushed my shoulder, and it must have surprised her because she glanced back and jumped a bit when she saw how close I was to her. "And they readily told Pomfrey of these?" she asked, looking back to McGonagall, but not moving away from me. "I mean… something all the sudden appears in your room on April Fools day," she continued slowly, shaking the leaflet.

"Oh no, of course not," McGonagall said with one of those looks that showed she thought Lily was crazy for suggesting such a thing. "But Madam Pomfrey threatened them that she wouldn't be able to help if she didn't know their source…"

My hands were shaking behind my back where they were clasped and my jaw quivered with the need to let out the humour at which I saw the whole situation. This was too good. Part of me highly hoped that Snape was behind a curtain… Ok, maybe most of me.

All of me.

"Potter, if you must find this amusing, I'd rather you go out in the hall to get it out before you help us in here," McGonagall told me sternly.

With a nod and brief hand on Lily's shoulder, I left the Hospital Wing and continued to laugh uproariously, the door closed firmly. I slid down the wall and laughed into my arms. Not sure how long I had been out there (except when the Fat Friar floated by and chuckled with me, not knowing why I was laughing, and told me he had heard me laughing for about five minutes) and when I couldn't see properly, I took off my glasses to wipe my eyes on my robes. My breath was still short as I caught up with it. Lily walked out of the Hospital Wing and took one look at me before letting out a few chuckles herself.

"James, whoever did that," here she gave me a look, "has to be a genius. It really was quite funny."

Still getting over my laughter, my body weak, I managed to ask, "Did you see who was in there?" I put my glasses on.

"Mostly some fourth years with one or two from other years," she said evasively. With great respect, I knew she knew it was me and my friends, and was obviously not going to say anything to good old McGonagall.

"Such as," I prodded, drawing out my words. I used the wall to help me stand up.

"There was only one seventh year," she continued. My eyes lit up with the possibilities. "And it wasn't Snape."

I cursed loudly, and then apologized to Lily. She assured me it was all right. What a nice young girl. And a pretty one, I added thoughtfully. She must have seen me staring at her, for she looked away bashfully and down at her hands. I cleared my throat, and asked a bit more soberly. "So, are we needed for anything in there?"

Lily gave me another look. "After the length of time you spent out here laughing? Do you really think McGonagall will want you in there helping the casualties?" Ah, God bless our Deputy Headmistress.

"No I suppose not." I took of my glasses. "Do we go back to class then?" I asked, wiping my eyes one last time and placing my glasses back on.

"Well, there's not even half an hour left," Lily said slowly as we set off from the Infirmary.

I grinned. "Play hooky?" I asked. "Well, I must say I'm shocked that Lily Evans suggested such a thing…"

"Sorry James Potter, but Lily Evans suggested no such thing," she corrected me. Ah yes, she's right about that. "I was just merely saying how much time we had left of class." Yes… yes she got me there. "You suggested that we play hooky."

"And then I believe Lily Evans took James Potter up on it, did she not?" I played along, non-stop grinning. I looked like a fool, I knew it, but that didn't stop me.

"Yes… yes I believe she did." Lily grinned at me, and couldn't help but let my own grow.

Well, we didn't want to miss dinner – apparently we were having roast beef tonight, and it's a sin to miss Hogwarts' roast beef – so we just chatted in the Common Room. This was the first time we'd ever really sat down and talked in a long while. We were sitting cross-legged on one of the couches, facing each other. I decided to bring something up I had thought about once or twice.

Or maybe three or four times.

… Alright, I confess, maybe six times or so.

"So Lily," I started, keeping my tone light, "you went to the ball stag." One of my favourite words, and for good reason.

Lily's face showed that she wasn't expecting such a change in conversation, especially with the topic I chose. "Er… yes I did."

"How many guys did you have to turn down?" I asked in a gossipy tone. I think I must still be high from the earlier excitement… Really, eleven boys. That's nearly two in every year!

"I really can't answer that James," she said, and with it a forced smile. I hope she didn't think that it fooled me. I could tell that she wasn't entirely comfortable with the conversation, but I really wanted to know.

"Why not? Just give me one name." I really was quite interested to know who had their eye on Lily. I had noticed a certain trend when I'd see Lily lately.

First, I'd smile. Then after having my friends roll their eyes, I'd talk to her if the opportunity would arise. After even the briefest of words exchanged, I'd leave again feeling quite elated. Later that night I'd go over our conversation(s) over and over until I fell asleep with that stupid smile on my face again.

Prognosis? I think I might have begun to fancy our dear Head Girl…

"I can't do that either," she answered me.

"Why can't you give me a name? Surely they won't be embarrassed…" I think I've mentioned that I really want to know who had their eye on Lily-

"Well, I can't tell you because there would be nothing to tell," she said with a small amount of hostility.

I took a minute to roll over her words in my head. There would be nothing to tell… so that means that there is no name to tell. Why wouldn't there be any name? Because no boy could go with no name… so that meant-

"No one asked you?" I asked quite bluntly.

"No," she said in a small, sad voice.

Well, that certainly didn't sound like the strong Lily I knew. I couldn't bring myself to repeat what she said. No one asked Lily to the ball? Why the bloody hell not? There's nothing wrong with her – in fact, there's a lot that's right with her! As my mind worked double time over the knowledge I just acquired, I noticed she was waiting for me to say something. Pass some sort of judgement. I had nothing to say; nothing at all. The words 'that's horrible' came to mind, but I didn't think she needed me shooting her down further than she already appeared to be with the situation.

"Why?" I asked dumbly. I am mentally hexing myself right now.

Lily let out a shaky laugh that was completely absent of humour. "You tell me James," she said a bit louder than she had been since we started on this topic. "What's wrong with me, eh? Am I boring? Do I smell? Do I lack personality? Do I frighten guys away? Am I ugly?" Leaning back stiffly, she added, "Am I too much of a Mudblood?"

Oh, Merlin what do I do? She had begun to lightly cry and I honestly have no idea what to do in a situation like this! "No…" I said, my own voice cracking. "No Lily, you're none of those things. You're not boring in the least, you smell great, your personality tops others, you're not frightening to me, you're beautiful and no Lily, you never were and never will be a Mudblood," I said, my voice strong by the end.

She lifted her face up and wiped her eyes. "Then what, James? Because whatever I have isn't enough for anyone."

"That's not true," I said to her. She has to be one of Hogwarts' most beautiful students, how could she think no one would want her?

"Well, if I had a boyfriend in the past to back you up, maybe I'd listen," she said with a throw of her hands.

My eyes widened. "What do you mean if you've had a boyfriend? You've had a boyfriend!" I said, not believing her at all. Ok, ok – we'll list the past guys I've seen Lily with…

"Really? Who?"

I'm listing, hold on… I thought for maybe ten seconds before Lily let out another humourless laugh.

"See? No one has even fancied me, James." She wasn't crying anymore, but seemed determined to find out what was wrong with her. Which, I told myself, was nothing. "And if anyone has, they haven't said a word. Why wouldn't anyone ask me out if they fancied me? There's got to be something wrong with me. They're embarrassed or ashamed or… or just something."

My mind was still spinning over the fact that Lily's never had a guy on her arm. It took a second before her latest outburst of insanity reached my ears and processed in my head. "They're not ashamed, Lily." Although I couldn't think of any reason to why no one ever had a crush on Lily… Well, I had figured my crush on her only a couple weeks ago… why hadn't I said anything?

"Then what are they?" She kept asking me for answers I didn't have.

"I don't know," I told her truthfully. We lapsed into minutes of silence, punctuated by the odd sniffle now and then. My mind certainly couldn't grasp onto the idea that Lily was never someone's girl. Who wouldn't be proud to say that they've held hands with Lily Evans on more than a platonic level? That they were her first kiss?

As if reading my mind, she said quietly in shame, "No one has even been that close to me. I've never cuddled with anyone, held hands, gone on a date… or…" she paused and leaned her head on the back of the couch. She whispered the next words, but I didn't hear her.

"Pardon?" I asked softly.

She turned her head to look at me. "I've never been kissed."

Now that was a shocker. I knew my mouth hung open quite unattractively, but I couldn't help it. My eyes drifted to her lips before making their way back into her green eyes. They were barely red-rimmed and showed few signs that she had shed any tears.

"I mean… I look at my friends," she continued while I was at a loss for words. "Jezebel: even if every relationship has ended up bad in the end – it was fun while she was in it. Like with Dung, she tried to help him out, get him off drugs and such, and in the end she only hurt herself. But people still gravitate to her and many guys still liked her. Marcia: she's had a lot of guys since she was twelve-years-old. First with Peter, and then she left him for Sirius… and since then, it's been many guys of many personalities. I don't really know how she does it – but she does and they all go to her willingly." She paused for a breath and I knew I should have interrupted her before she started on her other friend, but seeing this side of Lily was very rare. She was horribly vulnerable right now. "Sera: She's been dating Joel for two years and she barely sees him! They write back and forth constantly, and are even talking about moving out together," she paused again and I could tell that these thoughts had been on her mind for quite some time. With a small bout of optimism, I noticed she seemed to relax a little. How long had she wanted to get all this out?

"First of all," I said slowly, "never compare yourself to your friends. You are your own person and nothing they do can tamper with who you are if you don't let them," I stopped to let my words sink in. Since when was I deep? This is new to me. "And secondly: don't compare yourself to Marcia. She's been on and off with Sirius about five times now and dated nearly every other guy in our school that's a year older or younger." Lily let out a small laugh. Well, it's not like I'm lying. "And anyone would have to be crazy to not want to kiss you, Lily." Yes, I realise what I just said aloud. And it's damn true. Right now would be a good time to prove my sanity… but wouldn't that just top all the clichés in the world? I'd like to think of myself as a romantic, when the need calls for it, and I think Lily needs a little bit of romance in her life.

"Then all the men I've met are crazy," she said in finality, resting her elbow on the couch and placing her head on it.

Like many good moments in someone's life, our time together was interrupted. Classes seemed to be over, and the students came flooding into the Common Room.

I wanted to add in one last word. With a sly grin, I said, "Well then, I guess you haven't met many men in your life."


Alright, I've changed a lot of this one, and now it's better than before. -let's out a breath- Thanks for reading!