Tabula Rasa
Chapter 2 – Walking the Path
They loaded up the red Land Rover with the supplies. Elizabeth hugged everyone and then made herself comfortable in the front passenger seat. She was the only one who got car sick and plus it was also at Miles and James' insistence she ride comfortably. All four men seemed to be as concerned with her welfare, but she suspected it was more the welfare of James' children growing within her that the other three worried for. James, she knew, cared for all three of them.
James hugged his father after he had seen the cart secure, then his sister, the girls, and lastly his mother. He sighed, happy suddenly his wife was coming with him. He was not sure he could leave her. She looked so pretty with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and sitting with a hand on her belly. The shirt she wore did nothing to hide it and perhaps even enhanced it.
His children, his twins were there within. He looked at her a moment before turning and getting one more kiss from Chloe and then hoping into the back seat. He was between Miles and Davy in the back. Bill was driving the Land Rover. It was old, red, with fading paint, but was full of character, much like everyone involved.
They were off. James leaned out the window with Bill's camera and smiled as he watched his family. Lizzy waved and then sat back as they rounded the corner. Bill started some rock music. She smiled, her leg up a little as she watched the road and everything about them.
The boys were having a great time as they drove. She sat, wearing her sun glasses, laughing with them and at them in their antics. She had never seen them all together, but she had heard from her mother-in-law about their playfulness and that Miles and James were almost rivals. They had been since they were children and she was another piece of the puzzle. She had chosen James and now she would be a widow.
Finally they reached Pembrokeshire. They would have to go the rest of the way on foot to the bay. About three days of walking. She remembered. It would not be easy on her, but she would walk to the ends of the earth with James is she had to for him to be happy and smile.
The boys loaded the cart and Lizzy stood beside her husband as he leaned on a cane. "Are you all right?" He asked her as she leaned backwards against the weight.
"Yes. I just have thirteen pounds of baby weight and children in me." She smiled at him.
His free hand went to her back, passed her hands on her hips. He caressed her softly. "Thank you for coming." He said softly.
"I had to." She said. She smiled at him softly and leaned to him. He stooped a little kissing her softly.
"Are you two just going to snog the whole way?" Bill asked playfully.
Elizabeth broke away and turned and looked at him. "Maybe." She smiled and moved to pick up a pack.
"Hey, no." Miles said looking at her. "You're pregnant."
"And…" She said. "I can pull my weight. James can't so…" She said looking at him.
He sighed and they all looked at James as he picked up some things.
"James!" Davy said.
"I'm fine." James said as Davy took the bag from him.
"I'll get your cushion." Davy said moving.
"No, I want to get started on my own steam." James said. He leaned heavily on his cane as he walked forward. Lizzy smiled and moved after him.
"Who wants to push me then?" Miles asked playfully.
"Me!" Bill said laughing as he jumped at him.
Elizabeth walked to James, easily catching up with him. She smiled and offered him her hand. He took it holding it in his. His hands were large. She looked at him as they walked together. She had gotten used to his rather awkward gait. She had her own as she waddled beside him.
He looked so tall and gaunt in his jeans, jumper, and coat over it. He wore a hat as well to keep the sun off him. He wore a scarf around his neck, one his mother had made him. He could burn easily.
His nut brown wife wore a jumped over her shirt and leggings. She smiled as they walked together, letting the other three deal with the cart.
They had walked for over an hour. James had gotten hot and removed his coat. He was in a long sleeved shirt and vest now, his scarf loose about his neck, with his hat on. Elizabeth's airy clothing made her look ethereal even with her swollen belly.
The boys were pushing the cart along. "But bumpy though." Bill said.
"Like sex with an anorexic?" Miles said.
"Well you would know." James said looking back at him as he still held his wife's hand.
"How is Melissa?" Bill asked.
"Well she is fat now." Miles said.
"Is she?" Davy asked.
"Yeah."
"Hey stop talking about me." Lizzy said. "I am right here."
James laughed. "He didn't mean you, sweetheart."
"No, no I didn't." Miles said lifting a hand grinning.
They walked onto a bridge.
"How bloody beautiful is this?" Bill asked, holding his camera as he walked up to James and they both smiled. He wrapped an arm around Jame's shoulders. James took his hand and smiled more before letting go. James adjusted his hat and looked about as he leaned on his cane.
They looked at the river.
"Do we have to get to a certain point tonight?" Miles asked.
Bill shook his head. "We'll walk until... well until James needs a rest."
"I'm fine for now." James said looking at him.
Elizabeth smiled as she leaned against the wall. The sun on her face made it look a beautiful olive color. It came from her being Greek, Scottish, and German. It was the Greek in her that was clearly coming out in how she tanned. Bill aimed the camera at her. "Damn you are just lovely." He smiled. "Does that clot of a husband of yours tell you?" He asked.
She smiled radiantly as James hobbled passed her. She laid a hand on his shoulder in a soft caress. She smiled back at Bill and the camera. "Every day."
Bill chuckled. "I can't believe you are walking six months pregnant."
"Why not? Fresh air is good for the lungs, body, and the babies, isn't it?"
"Babies?" Davy asked stepping forward. "As in more than one in there?"
Lizzy was suddenly coy turning her head and blushing.
James stopped and looked back. "She is carrying twins." He said simply as he took a breath.
His friends looked at each other. Miles then smiled and walked to his friend patting his back lightly. "Well done, mate!"
Elizabeth smiled.
They continued to the other side and back into the woods. Lizzy paused, gasping a little. Her hand flew to her belly as she leaned her back against the tree. James was ahead. Bill and Miles pushed the cart by as she took a breath, her head down, breathing deeply as she caressed the spot.
"Oi." Davy said softly coming to her. "What's the matter?"
She looked up. "Nothing." She said straightening. "Nothing I am fine."
He looked after her as she moved to catch up with James. Davy looked after her as she moved, her hand still resting on the spot where it had been.
James finally became tired enough that he needed to get in the cart. The boys pushed him as Lizzy walked in front.
"Hummm nice view." James said looking at her.
She looked back at him and laughed lightly. "Lies." Even so she wiggled her bottom playfully.
Miles made a whooping noise and she giggled as they continued.
They continued until they went up a slight incline with a rock. Lizzy was ahead.
"Woah!" Bill cried.
"Cart malfunction everyone!" James said.
Bill and Davy examined the damaged axel as James climbed out waving off Lizzy who came to him.
"I knew it! It's the weight I'm telling you!" Davy said.
"Is it fucked?" Miles asked.
"Not on my shift." Bill said. "In the mesh bag. Get the kit." He said.
"I would, but there is so much weight." Davy said.
"Gee Whiz, just start pulling things off." Bill said.
James held a radio in his hands. He turned it off and looked back at his wife. She was leaning against a stump, smiling as the light shone about her, her hand on her belly, caressing it, humming softly. He limped to her as the boys argued.
"Gee Whiz? Who says Gee Whiz?" Davy asked.
"Did you really say that? Did you really say Gee Whiz, Bill?" Miles asked.
"Yes I did, now help." Bill said.
James touched his wife's belly softly. Her eyes opened. The sun in her hair made it look fiery as she looked up at him. "Hi." She smiled lifting a hand to his gaunt face.
"Hi." He smiled. "What are you thinking about?"
"The babies." She said softly.
He smiled and bent down, kissing her belly softly. He straightened and kissed her. "I love you."
"I know. I love you too." She smiled and touched his cheek.
"Gee Whiz it's a mesh bag!" Miles said behind them.
James chuckled and so did Elizabeth. He then grunted a little. She looked at him in concern. He lifted a hand and shook his head. "No. I'm fine." He said.
She looked at him not fully convinced.
He smiled disarmingly and caressed her belly, his large hand splaying on the tender flesh. He stepped closer and kissed her nose. She rose to her feet and stepped to him. He leaned against her a moment, hugging her as he kissed her hair. "God, I love you." He whispered.
She took a deep breath, enjoying his scent. He smelled of his cologne, lavender soap, and the scent of the wash she had done. He also had been sweating a little, but she didn't mind. She preferred him too warm to too cold. Without many reserves left, he got cold so easily. He sighed into her hair, holding her close enjoying the feel of her against him. She was so beautiful. He hated the idea of leaving her.
He sighed enjoying just holding her in the sunshine. He listened to his friends behind him bickering as they repaired the cart. "Think we should help them?"
"Can we stay this way forever?"
He chuckled, a low rumble in his chest. "If only we could, my love."
"James Kimberly Griffith." She said. She smiled at him as she lifted her arms around his neck, crossing her wrists and looking at him.
"Elizabeth Katherine Griffith." He murmured. He felt the swell of her stomach press against his lower hip and he smiled, his arm encircling her. "I vowed to protect you and be with you. Can you forgive me for breaking my promise?"
"Yes." She said gently leaning up to him. "Can you forgive yourself?"
He shook his head. "No."
"It isn't your fault James." She said softly. "We will manage." She looked passed him. "Your mates will see me sorted."
He nodded soberly. "Yes. Yes they will."
They turned back to the group still bickering and they smiled and then looked at each other. James shook his head and then blinked, feeling something against his leg. He looked down at her as she watched him. His eyes were full of wonder. "Was that…?" He asked.
She nodded and lifted his free hand to the spot. "They are saying hello." She said smiling at him.
He caressed the side of her belly and smiled. "Hello, I'm your dad." He said watching her as he felt the kicks against him. He then looked up at his wife. "Does that hurt you?"
"No." She said. "At least not yet."
He nodded watching in wonder. "So amazing. My life is ending and two lives will replace me."
"They will never replace you." She said softly. "No one can."
"That is why I love you. You always speak your mind." He looked at her and smiled sadly before kissing her softly. His lips were cool and she gently moved his scarf about him.
"Are you cold?" She asked tenderly rubbing his arm.
"Maybe a little." He said.
She nodded and then the cart was ready again with a cheer from the boys. She let James lean on her as he limped back leaning on his cane. She nodded to him to sit down and relax. She laid a hand on his brow. He was clammy, something she had gotten used to over the last month, and it generally meant he had overdone it.
"I'm fine sweetheart." He said looking up at her, his eyes bright.
She nodded stepping back from him.
They walked for another hour before Lizzy ducked out of sight. Miles looked about. "Lizzy?"
"Oh for fuck sake leave her be." James said. "She needs to piss."
"But…"
"She is the only one of us who can't standing up." James said calmly.
"Oh, right." Davy said.
Lizzy reappeared a little ways down from them. Bill smiled at her. "Oh hey, sweetheart."
"Sorry. You try holding it when you have children kicking you."
Miles smiled at her.
The boys stopped in a small meadow. Davy walked James over to a small hedge. James leaned on Davy for support while James tried to urinate in the hedge.
"Did Miles already know how long?"
"I don't know." Davy answered, turned facing the others. Lizzy was on seated between the other two. They were drinking some tea and eating biscuits. Elizabeth propped her biscuit on her swollen belly as took a sip of tea, smiling at them.
James nodded thinking about this.
"Taking you to piss always makes me want to piss, and you piss far more than I used to, so where's my new piss coming from. I'm not drinking more…" Davy said talking.
"Will you shut the fuck up, please?" James growled at him.
Davy looked back at Lizzy. James grunted and finally was able to pee onto the hedge.
Bill smiled at Lizzy. "Biscuits – they're great on their own... but once they get dipped in tea they become a whole different journey."
Miles laughed lightly.
"That is nasty." Lizzy said. She ate her biscuit and then sipped more tea.
"That happens in your stomach you know…" Bill said.
"I know…I just can't stand my biscuits wet…or my cereal…bread…" She sighed and sat back, her hand on her belly.
"A make-up girl at work was reading one of your dad's books. The Lebanon Tree." Bill said changing the subject as he looked at Lizzy as she laid there, eyes closed. He wondered what it would be like to be dating her. She had dated Miles for a short time and had married James. Maybe when James was gone he could help her out. He looked over toward Davy. Though Davy likely had more of a chance since he had loved with them and he was such a caring soul.
Miles nodded. "Hummm."
"How's your book coming?" Bill continued.
Miles was suddenly uncomfortable. "Gave up on it. Couldn't be arsed."
"You should just write a diary about banging Chelsea-chicks." Bill said.
Lizzy snorted a laugh. "Christ, I am right here…"
"Finally bored of meaningless sex." Miles said.
"Bollocks." Bill said. "Later. I want to be lying back with a beer. Then I want a tale of orifice that would make most people go blind."
Miles smiled and Lizzy sat up. "For fuck sake. You are in a relationship why don't you use your own damn imagination."
"Oh? Do you have a tale or two then?" Bill asked. His tone was playful, but Lizzy was having none of it. Too late he realized the danger.
She lounged after him and he gasped not taking into account how quickly she could move. She grabbed him and pinned him down. He gasped unsure how he was so easily beaten as he looked up at her. Miles laughed as he sat nearby watching Lizzy's angry face.
"Word to the wise, you idiot. Never antagonize a pregnant woman." Miles said sitting back as his sides hurt.
James looked back over his shoulder. "What the hell are they about?"
"Who knows, but Elizabeth looks a little annoyed." Davy said. He sighed and turned holding his friend up. "I may as well piss now too."
James nodded.
They stood together as Davy went. James looked down and then up at his friend. "Maybe it's the beach, eh?" Davy said. "Yeah."
James's eyes narrowed and he limped back just as Lizzy pulled herself off Bill who was laying on the ground. Miles helped her to her feet and smiled at her affectionately.
"Ahhh the matron has spoken." He said
They loaded up again and then headed along. They came to a footbridge as the light was fading. Lizzy was walking with Miles and James while Davy and Bill carried the cart. It was narrow, allowing only one to cross at a time.
Lizzy smiled and looked about. "We should find a camp soon." She said.
"Yes." Bill said.
"All I am saying is we can leave some of the stuff and come back for it later." Davy suggested.
"No." Bill said. "If you girls hadn't packed your entire wardrobe…" He looked up. "No offense Lizzy."
"None taken. I only have two sets of clothing." She smiled. "The rest of the stuff I packed was for James."
He looked at her and so did James.
James sighed. "Why?"
"I only need two clothing sets. I can do wash remember. Unlike you lot." She smiled.
He chuckled and looked at Miles. "How is work? Are you writing?"
"I am not really a writer, Jim. I'm an ad man and I am good at it." Miles replied.
Lizzy then moved hopping onto a rock. "There is nice spot up here." She said.
"Hey will you get down from there?" James said looking up.
"Why?"
"Because you're pregnant. What if you fall?" He asked.
Davy lifted a hand. "Don't worry James. There are four of us to mind her."
She took it and hopped down lightly. They walked into the area she had spotted as the sun was dipping down.
"Oh this is perfect, Lizzy." Bill said.
Bill and Davy began to set up the tents.
They ate a nice light dinner and made a fire after the boys gathered sticks. Lizzy sat near the tent she was sharing with James and Davy. It was rather cramped within, but they would manage.
Bill moved away for a time by the cart. Everyone assumed he was taking a piss though he was actually packing a bag of items he saw as useless. He came back over holding his beer just as James started fanning the fire with a pair of pants.
"What the hell are you doing James?" Lizzy asked. She reached and took a sip of Miles' beer before sitting back.
James ignored her. "Are you still reading the stories I am sending you?" He asked Miles.
"Yeah, the one about the bike was great."
"Good. Really good."
"So they were bollocks." James said.
Davy smiled. "I'm no writer, but I liked them." He looked back. "You Lizzy?"
"I like them. I wish I had a talent like that." She smiled.
"You do." James said looking up at her. "You paint the most beautiful water colors." He cocked his head and paused a moment. "Why haven't you painted in a while?"
"I do not have the time." She said.
He straightened. "That is a lie. Why?" He asked putting his hands on his hips.
She looked down. "I can't paint when I am sad." She admitted softly. "Watercolors are supposed to be warm, but soulless."
"You aren't soulless." Davy said. He smiled. "You brought your colors. Maybe you can paint while we are here." He said brightly.
James nodded. "I think that is a wonderful idea." He smiled. "And I wish I had your talent for it."
She sighed and looked up as he began to wave the pants again.
Bill then looked and walked over. "No waft, James. Waft." He said demonstrating.
James nodded and began to do as he said.
"By God it's working." Miles said. "Not just a pretty face." He smirked as the flames danced.
James smiled.
"Not just a pretty face?!" Bill laughed. "We only have one pretty face here." He looked pointedly at James.
Lizzy laughed and playfully slapped his leg.
The boys and James began to drink beers. Several of them a piece. Lizzy just sat watching the chaos about her as she wrapped a blanket about her. She turned to a book, letting the boys whoop and holler about her. She just shook her head, hating the fact at that very moment she could not join them because of the babies in her
James was using his cane to prop himself up, but he was laughing and enjoying his friends. She was not about to take that from him. She worried a bit about him overdoing it, but at last she could not stay awake anymore and the fire was dying. They were sitting and talking now, their voices hypnotic. She crawled onto her blankets she had laid out and pulled them over her and went to sleep watching the firelight make interesting shapes in the trees and leaves above the tent.
Davy and James joined her after a while. James took some medicine and was tired. He crawled into his blankets and looked at his wife. Her hair was loose and hung about her face and shoulders like a cloud. He smiled softly as Davy snuggled down.
James pulled the loose hair from her face and then pulled his blankets so he could be against her. They had put James between them so they could both help if he was distress. James burrowed his way into his own and her blankets, making a thick pile on himself as he pulled his pillow over. He felt she was in a camisole and thin sleep pants. His cool hand wrapped about her body, his hand coming to her belly. She woke a little at the feeling, but realized it was James and instantly relaxed.
He pressed his forehead to her shoulder and felt her move her arm so he could be closer. He sighed, pressing a soft kiss to her neck before relaxing and letting the drugs take him to oblivion. They were the strongest he had and they were to help him sleep, letting his body relax, and his mind not care about the pain so he could rest and sleep.
Lizzy moved her hand and clasped his over the swell as she lay on her left side facing the wall. She felt safe and secure there with her husband there and Davy just a few feet away. James' fingers closed over her small hand and she smiled before falling asleep fully again with James's somewhat shallow breathes against her neck and shoulder. He was already asleep and he moved closer, a leg wrapping around hers lightly, trying to hold on to the person he held most dear like a drowning man, holding onto the only thing that kept his head above water.
