Junpei glared at Akane from his position on the other side of the room. He knew enough about her to distance himself from her and hope not to catch one of her many STD's from when she had fallen on him earlier.
It hadn't always been like this, in fact at one point in their adolescent life Junpei and Akane had been friends. It was when Akane turned the delicate age of 6 the drugs had started. Junpei had tried everything in his power to make Akane stop, from beating her to intervention but nothing worked. The last straw came when Akane savagely murdered the rabbits their class had kept for pets for rabbit feet to sell on the black market.
Junpei had loved those rabbits.
He took a moment to look at all the people gathered around him. Junpei decided he hated them all instantly. One of them looked like they weighed more than Texas, another had white hair like a porcupine yet was strangely attractive, there was a young girl with fucking herpes on her cheek or something (probably from Akane, Junpei deduced). Worst of all though, there was this grandma flashing her tits around like there was no tomorrow. They weren't even nice tits, they where old and saggy, like a plastic bag from Kroger.
Junpei nodded his head in respect to only decent one of the bunch. An elegantly dressed man who was clearly closing his eyes so he didn't have to see this freak show. He didn't seem to understand the concept of politeness considering he hadn't acknowledge Junpei with a nod back.
Junpei decided he was second under Akane on his hate list. He deserved at least ten nods from some elegantly dressed ass.
What a douche.
There was also this thin, shaking man who reminded Junpei of a drug dealer he once met when he vacationed in Miami. His name had been Harold. Junpei had gotten some cocaine for Akane since he knew she liked the shit. That was back when he tried to get along with the whore.
Last but not least there was wide set man who looked like the type who tried to hard to come off as mysterious and thoughtful. Instead he just came off looking like a rapist or the kid who bullied homosexuals in high school.
In the room there were two more doors that looked like the one Junpei had opened to escape from his room. Junpei groaned.
"More fucking numbered doors, just what I needed. My life is complete."
Porcupine head spoke up suddenly.
"You know the room I woke up in had a number on the door, just like that."
"Yeah man me too, me too! This is so cool we have so much in common, I bet we are going to become best friends, just you wait. By the way is that hair color natural because it looks great on you Mr. Handsome! I bet the ladies (and men) love you!" Said the wide set homosexual bullying man, sounding a little to desperate to make friends with another male. It turns out he is a kiss ass.
Junpei was beginning to think he was the homosexual.
Suddenly every one started talking at once. It soon came to everyone's understanding that each one of them have awoken in a room with a locked door and had to solve a puzzle to escape. Junpei decided to leave out the part where he had used his intelligence to get Gas Mask man to unlock it for him. He didn't want the others be jealous.
"Some one go open the door or some shit. I'm to old to do it myself." Grandma tits reasoned as she crossed her arms.
"No really? What the fuck do you think we're going to do, braid each others hair?"
With those graceful words Porcupine was off running towards the doors. He quickly grabbed the door and pulled his hardest. It didn't even budge.
'What a pussy', Junpei thought.
"Its okay man you tried your best, I'm sure you're the strongest out of all of us, I mean look at those muscles! If you can't open it I bet no one can! Would you mind sharing your work out routine with me, why I bet you work out every single day, I bet your face is beautiful. Not that I can't see your face or anything hahaha!" Said Kiss ass.
Junpei scoffed.
"Kiss ass, he won't be so flattered when you molest him in a dark corner. Damn communist."
Suddenly, the man who looked bigger than Texas shoved Porcupine out of the way.
"Muve u in waye!111"
The fat ass tossed porcupine out of the way and starting throwing his large body against the door. Every one watched with a mixture or fascination and horror, only able to compare the sight to two whales matting.
Junpei averted his eyes towards the ground, not wanting to witness such a intimate movement between Fatass and the door. Then he caught a glance at June and decided he rather see ten fat men banging a door than that mess.
Not even a minute later a speaker crackled to life and a familiar voice filled the room.
"'Sup bitches. Welcome to my cruise."
Everyone's face went pale except for Junpei because he already knew of his superior intelligence when it came to Gas Mask man.
"Guys! It's Gas Mask Man!" Junpei cried pointing to the speaker, pride echoing in his tone for recognizing such an important person.
"My name is Zero dumbass. Anyways, I am the captain of this piece of shit and I kidnapped you for the lolz."
"Hey! Asshole, what the hell! You didn't have to fucking kidnapped me if you wanted sex tapes, all you had to was ask!" Porcupine yelled up at the speaker, frustration written all over his face. Honestly, he didn't understand why people didn't ever just ask for his sex tapes instead of kidnapping him. He was sick of spending his Saturdays this way.
"Yeah man! You could have just asked, I mean," Kiss ass tried to put arm around Porcupine only for him to throw it off, "This guy right here is one cool dude. He probably would have made a sex tape with you." Kiss ass sent Porcupine a suggestive look that let the white hair man's face tinted green.
"You see, you all are going to play a game."
"God dammit I hate when people fucking force me to play Candy Land...fucking rainbow trail my ass." Junpei said expressing his anger through his heart felt words.
"AHEM. Like I was saying all you are going to play this fun little game called the Nonary-"
"Nonary? What the hell is that dog food?" Junpei said expressing his confusion through his heart felt words.
"AGAMEWHEREYOUPUT-"
"I am so fucking hungry it is like unreal." Junpei said expressing his stupid ass emotions.
"Me hungerri 2" fatass say.
"WOULD YOU SHUT THE **** YOU ******* I MEAN HONESTLY **** **** GRASS *** MOTHER LICKING ***** ****." Zero seem to be very upset with Junpei's humble words.
Junpei decided not to mention his bladder problems.
"OK. Now you all are going to play this game call the Nonary game, which is not named after dog food you ignorant fuck," Gas Mask Man said before Junpei could repeat his question from earlier.
"It is a game where you have to put your life on the line."
"Nonary game?" questioned saggy tits with confusion written all over her face.
"wat hell dat?" Fat ass seem even more confused.
"I just said it was a game where you put your life on the line you dumb fucks. How about listening for once in your good for nothing life's. You can find the rules somewhere on each of yourselves, and no I didn't fucking molest you Junpei you sorry disgrace of humanity."
Gas Mask Man once again answered Junpei before he could voice his question.
"I think he likes me." Junpei said proud to have found a new friend in even the darkest of places.
A/N: What door was your favorite?
Rainbow R: Mine was pretty much any door with Santa in it. He makes me chuckle.
CRAZYGURL: I like them all (like a faggot)
Typed with love,
Rainbow R
I do everything
with no thanks.
My sister take advantage of my kindness.
Ideas given by each other and are discussed among ourselves.
If you have an idea feel free to share them in a review.
