Now ladies and Gents, for everyone's favourite (or most hated) raving newspaper editor

This one takes place in my other Marvel fanfic where Carol is a columnist for the bugle and Jonah is oblivious to both of them.


Chapter 2: J. Jonah Jameson

Heroes BAH! That's what they think they are! Whenever I see someone call those masked vigilantes Heroes I want to throw up all over the street!

Why should I have to trust anyone who can't show me their own face?!

Only idiots would look at them flying and swinging through the air and see heroes. You know what I see? A bunch of weapons of mass destruction just waiting to go off and destroy this great city!

It all started with that dam Wall Crawling Masked Menace, Spiderman!

Every problem that's happened in the past few months is because of him and his dam Avenger buddies! They claim that they're here to keep the city safe but no matter what they always seem to cause a mess or some great catastrophe! Like just last week when they tried to "save" the Mayor from Doc Ock, they almost destroyed city hall….sure they saved the mayor, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!

I still say they were in Cahoots with Doc Ock to begin with to make themselves look all heroic and good! But I can see through their cheap tricks and look at them for what they truly are, and that's a menagerie of freaks, aliens, robots and weirdoes in spandex!

But lately what's been rattling around in my head is the joining of two of the greatest atrocities to ever come out of this city's history! I am of course talking about the 'relationship' between the masked menaces known as Spiderman and Ms Marvel!

The entire city found out about the relationship between these two at least and few weeks ago and everyone has had their own "opinions" about it! Bah, I say opinions only work if they make sense! And if you ask me a "relationship" implies that said people, if you can call them people, love each other. All I see this as, is a cheap ploy for those dam Meta-humans to look more like normal people.

Those two can't even be classed as people! What kind of woman dresses like a stripper in order to fight crime? And what kind of man dresses up in red and blue spandex and shoots webs from his wrists like something from 'the fly'?

If you ask me, I can see those two laughing at all those fools behind their backs for thinking they are in an actual relationship! But not me! I can see then for what they really are! And one day I will expose them for what they really are! A bunch of frauds in stupid tight fitting clothes that's what!

I CANT STAND THEM! ANY OF THEM THEY SHOULD ALL BE ROUNDED UP AND SHO…


*Third person switch

"Hey Jonah, you got a mo?" Peter asked poking head in the door

"DAM IT PARKER WHAT IS IT? DON'T YOU SEE IM BUSY HERE?!" Jonah bellowed threatening to break the glass with his loud voice

"Busy trying to work the laptop?" Peter asked

"OF COURSE I AM WHY ARE YOU…" Jonah bellowed until Peter interrupted him again

"Because I think you broke the keyboard by typing to hard" Peter said, Jonah looked down to see most of the keys were smashed in his 'typing rage'

"What do you want Parker?" Jonah gritted his teeth; he hated it when Peter pointed out his mistakes

"I just wanted you to know I got those pictures you wanted of Ms Marvel and Spiderman" Peter said handing Jonah a portfolio

"IT'S ABOUT TIME TOO! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THESE FOR HOURS PARKER! WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE THEM TO ME SOONER?!" Jonah shouted at the top of his lungs as he snatched the portfolio from Peter's grip

"Because you said you were too busy with your blog" Peter said gesturing to the laptop with the broken keyboard

"Mr Jameson, we really need those pictures for the front page" Carol said entering the room

"I got your pictures right here Danvers, these will expose those miscreants for what they are hahaha" Jonah chuckled as he looked at the photos

"I don't know, I say they're a cute couple" Carol said with a smile

"…..yeah sure they are" Jonah said melting like putty

"Any way I got to get back to work, and Pete I'll see you tonight right?" Carol whispered the second part of the sentence

"Yeah I'll be sure to wear something nice" Peter whispered back before lightly and quickly kissing her cheek while Jonah wasn't looking

"PARKER….ALL OF THESE ARE CRAP! HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR THESE ONES?" Jonah shouted holding up three pictures in particular

"The usual is fine Jonah" Peter said as Jonah handed him an envelope containing his payment

"HA, THOSE MASKED MORONS WONT GET THE SLIP ON ME! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE UP TO; I WOULD SPOT THEM IN A CROWD IN A HEARTBEAT!" Jonah chuckled cheerfully as he looked at the photos, he then looked back at Peter who looked like he was holding back a snicker

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?! IM NOT PAYING YOU TO STAND AROUND! GET OUT THERE AND GET ME MORE PICTURES!" Jonah ordered Peter

Peter snickered a little and left the room wiping his eyes leaving Jonah with the photo's in his hands. The photo's he looked at in particular were that of Spiderman and Ms Marvel flying and swinging side by side through the city with their eyes fixed on each other.

"Huh….I would spot those two a mile off" Jonah huffed


There we go ladies and gents, what did you think? What did you like?

I'm not going to ask who you want to see next because I have a good list of who to do, consisting of:

-Jessica Drew (Spiderwoman)

-Felicia Hardy (Black Cat)

-Norman Osborn (Green Goblin/Iron Patriot)

- Aunt May

-Thor

Until next time, you guys stay classy :)