Ties that Bind
The sound of the chair striking the metal cabinet echoed deafeningly throughout the vast room as Murphy tried to bash the doors to the cabinet open. He grit his teeth and winced against the noise as he brought the chair down again and again, trying to strike the locking mechanism at just the right angle to cause irreparable damage.
"Do you want me to try?" Emori's offer could only just be heard over the metallic clatter.
Murphy paused mid strike and shot a dark look over to Emori. He had to work hard not to break into a grin at the way she had her hands clamped firmly over her ears.
"I have it," Murphy assured and with a newfound air of confidence, he struck the cabinet once again and thankfully, it did the trick. There was a snapping sound from inside and the doors to the storage unit parted just slightly in defeat. "See."
"Stop gloating and get it open," Emori shot.
Murphy harrumphed. He didn't blame Emori for being keen. So far they'd swept the entire abandoned lab, situated as far as they knew in a southern corner of Azgeda, and had found little in the way of useful treasure. It wasn't exactly thrilling when the pair relied on the trade of scavenged materials to eat. So, without further ado, Murphy pulled the ruined doors to the cabinet wide open and the couple peered at their prize.
Emori's hand immediately darted out and claimed several vacuum wrapped scalpels, locked away safely now for over ninety-eight years and still shiny and new looking in their protective packaging. They'd certainly be enough to trade for a square meal. The pair shared a triumphant smile.
Whilst Emori busied herself collecting up the other bits of useful medical equipment from the locker, Murphy turned and peered about the lab. It was eerily pristine. White equipment on white tables. Unmarred but for the healthy coating of dust everywhere. Once upon a time the things would have been used by people in white coats. Now it was junk. Good for the scrap metal if Murphy and Emori could secure better transport than their own two feet, but too cumbersome for now.
A particular piece of complicated looking equipment caught Murphy's eye from the centre of the room and he wandered over to it with a frown.
"Hey, I think we had something similar to this back on the Ark," he stated, recognising the general shape of the workstation, even though this one was certainly of a much higher spec.
"That's fantastic, can you fit it in your pack?" Emori drawled, her nose still buried in the cabinet.
"You're funny," Murphy said. He experimentally leaned over and peered through a microscope. He couldn't see anything because the lens cap was on. "But really, we had one of these. I think it's used to synthesise hormones."
When Murphy turned back to Emori, she had finally stopped digging through the cabinet and was in the middle of battling to zip her pack up with everything stuffed inside it. She glanced up at him quizzically.
Murphy sighed, "You know? Body chemicals? We used them on the Ark for the contraceptive implants. And implants like Harper's. I wish she was here to see this stuff. She'd know. She did ask us to keep an eye out," Murphy mused.
That earned Murphy a snort from Emori and he folded his arms, glaring over at her.
"Listen to you," Emori laughed out, "I swear every place we've been in since the rest of the group left, you've managed to zone in on something that would help Arkadia. It's almost like you care," she said.
Murphy scowled at being caught out. "I'm not looking out for the settlement," he argued back, but then, "Just my friends." Murphy admitted. "The 'sky people' as a whole can still suck it though," he added quickly.
Emori didn't look convinced. She finally managed to fasten her pack up and lumbered it onto her back, before coming over to join Murphy next to the lab equipment. He watched as she glanced over the remnant from the old world critically.
"You're cute," she said quietly, shifting her eyes to Murphy. "I'll mark this place on the map I'm drawing so we know where to find it again. Though don't ask me how we're going to get something so big all the way back to Trikru."
"Maybe we won't have to," Murphy said simply, knowing that Emori would understand that he was alluding to one day getting the lab and other such places they'd found back up and running again. It had been a hot topic of discussion the whole time on their year long road trip to fix Raven's leg. It was lost on none of them just how helpful some of the surviving technology from the pre-war world could be.
Emori let out a breath, "I've told you, if you want to go to the Commander and ask if it's ok to use this stuff, be my guest. Just don't expect me to mourn over your stupid corpse," she said, a little harshly. It was almost exactly the same as discussions they'd had before now.
"I don't think Lexa is so bad as that," Murphy pointed out.
It bagged him a scoff and Emori shook her head, "I'm only judging her on what she's done. Or rather, what she hasn't done," she replied and left it at that. She had no need to say more, Murphy knew how she felt about the bigwigs of the Kongeda. He accepted that she was rightfully skeptical of them.
"That isn't my fight," Murphy said simply, "If Raven or someone wants to go and kick up a fuss, whatever. You and I? We were made for a quieter life of simple thievery."
"I think technically it's looting," Emori pointed out, and then she let out a yelp of fear.
Murphy echoed Emori's shout with a yell of his own and the pair of them jumped out of their skin as a loud clatter sounded in the room. Murphy instinctively raised his hands to his face, wincing as he prepared for an attack. When none came, he frowned. Then he heard Emori laughing beside him and she swatted him on the shoulder.
"Look," she said, before pointing across the room.
Murphy lowered his hands and let out a guffaw when he followed where Emori was pointing. A large feline animal that might have once been a domestic cat had it not been created in a radiation soaked world, was staring at them from atop one of the workstations. The pest had sent a surgical tray tumbling onto the floor, creating the racket that had startled the thieves. The cat hissed and bared its teeth at the intruders into its claimed territory and then it took off along the equipment and out of the room.
Murphy and Emori shared a meaningful look. "Dinner?" Murphy suggested.
Emori shot him a beautiful smile, "First one to catch it escapes skinning duty," she said and then she took off after the creature, leaving Murphy standing like an idiot.
Murphy rolled his eyes, knowing already that he had little chance of besting Emori. Still, off he ran after her, their uncharacteristically serious discussion giving way to the simpler, more instinctual thrill of the hunt.
Despite her physical fitness, Lexa was just a little short of breath by the time she swept into her bedroom to find Clarke already in there, sat moping on the sofa with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Lexa scowled at the unsettling sight as she walked over to the sofa, though she did not sit down yet, preferring to stay standing until she had been invited to enter Clarke's personal space whilst Clarke was so upset.
"How did you get here so quickly?" Clarke asked with a frown, lifting her head up to observe Lexa. Clearly she was aware that Lexa had had no chance of catching the elevator as it made its way up the tower.
Lexa's lips turned up just slightly, in an almost shy smile, "I used the ladder," Lexa admitted, and then before Clarke could question her decision, "I was worried about you," she added quietly.
Clarke's brow creased, "I'm fine," she said, not at all convincingly. Lexa watched as Clarke shifted on the couch, making more room. She patted the space beside her.
Lexa took the seat next to Clarke now that it had been offered and she stared intently at her niron's troubled face. "You don't have to be fine, Clarke. What Luna said was completely out of line," Lexa stated, voice growing harsh at the mention of Luna's name.
Lexa wanted Clarke to be absolutely aware that Lexa was just as hurt and offended by what Luna had said as Clarke was herself. Unlike with Raven, where Lexa had reserved her own judgement on the understanding that Clarke believed her friend's ire to be warranted. Then she had known that it wasn't her place to be offended on Clarke's behalf, now Lexa was just that.
When Clarke did not respond to Lexa's words, Lexa bit at her lips, trying to find the right 'in' to get Clarke to open up. "You know, I wonder if we could have avoided this if I were still able to seek council from my previous incarnations. They might have warned me against trusting Luna after so long, as you have," Lexa tried.
Clarke's response to the subject of the lost chip was instant. She gave a loud scoff and immediately reached out to grab one of Lexa's hands between her own, using the close contact to punctuate her words; "No, they'd go one better," Clarke spat out, "They'd tell you to just not bother trying to keep friends ever. That's not what I want."
Lexa smiled at Clarke's dig at the previous Commanders and was glad to have earned such an emotive response from Clarke. The door was open now. She decided to try again to bring them back onto the right topic. Whilst the loss of the chip was still something that played on Lexa's mind from time to time, now was about how Clarke was feeling. "I know that," Lexa assured, "Though after that little performance I can't say Luna is shaping up to be much of a friend." Lexa placed her free hand over Clarke's.
"I know you were close when you were kids, but can you at least tell me that you managed to knock her on her ass a few times when you trained together?" Clarke asked.
Lexa snorted at Clarke's use of humour at such a moment, though she appreciated that it was more of a hint to Clarke's state of mind than she'd received thus far. "I had my moments," she confirmed, "Although I was never smug as a child. Anya made up for that for me," she reminisced.
"Well then, thank you Anya," Clarke said and then her blue eyes, which so far had been quite stubbornly set to the floor, rose to meet Lexa's, "Seriously though, I don't want this to come between you and her. You don't have to like all of your partner's friends," she said, "And I can't help but think that there must be some motivation behind Luna's actions. She's clearly changed a lot, I saw it in the way you were glaring at her, trying to get a measure on who she is. But maybe those changes have happened for a reason."
"I'm sure," Lexa agreed, "Though that's still the problem isn't it. Luna can't reconcile who I am now with who she remembers me to be. So she's looking for an explanation and misplacing blame."
"Maybe she feels guilty," Clarke piped up, mouth thinning as the idea occurred to her.
Lexa raised a brow, "For what?"
"Well, surely she has to know that the reason you have changed so much is because you became Commander. A fate you rescued her from," Clarke pointed out.
It made sense and so Lexa gave a sage nod. She edged just a little closer to Clarke and moved one of her hands to cup Clarke's cheek. Clarke smiled and, at the insistence of Lexa's hand, met Lexa's eyes. Lexa could see love in them, in amongst the hurt.
"Or maybe she's just bitter that you got so beautiful," Clarke offered, but the smile she gave along with the complement did not reach her eyes.
Lexa scowled, "What do you mean by 'got', Clarke?" she asked.
Clarke turned her head and kissed Lexa's palm, "Come on," she said, "I've seen Anya's drawings of you as a kid."
"Charming," Lexa drawled out. Her amusement quickly faded when she saw a dark cloud pass over Clarke's face. The joking had not managed to lift Clarke's mood despite Clarke's efforts. "You look troubled, niron," Lexa stated the obvious.
"Honestly, my head is killing me," Clarke admitted with a sigh.
Lexa offered a morose smile. Then she pushed herself away from Clarke, over to the other side of the couch, where she shifted until she was sat fully on the cushion with her legs crossed. Lexa motioned to her lap, "Miya."
Clarke didn't need more encouragement and she shifted too until she was lying with her head in Lexa's lap. Lexa peered down into Clarke's face as her fingers set to work massaging Clarke's temples. They stayed silent just for a while as Clarke enjoyed being taken care of, but then she broke the silence with a little more honesty than Lexa was expecting.
"That's why it hurt so much, Luna suggesting that I have made you harsher," Clarke spoke with her eyes shut. Whether it was just to focus on the head massage or to make it easier to open up, Lexa wasn't quite sure. "It forces us to think about how much we have changed. It makes me scared to think that I'll never be able to go back to being the innocent person I was. Before the mountain, before we got dropped down on Earth. The things I've done have changed me irreparably for the worse and I hate being reminded of that," Clarke finished, her voice raising just slightly towards the end as the emotional toll wormed it's way into her words.
"It isn't exactly what you want to hear, Clarke," Lexa responded immediately, "But you are right. You have changed and there is no going back." Lexa switched from massaging Clarke's temples to the top of her head, letting her fingers work their way past the golden braids atop Clarke's head to scratch at her scalp. "But that does not mean you have been changed for the worse," Lexa continued, "You are the one in control of how the changes in your life shape you. You learn to adapt. To not let the terrible things you've seen, or done, stop you from seeking to do good. If you can manage that, then you can turn even the darkest of decisions into something positive, into something that will help your people. Or yourself."
Lexa halted the massage and lightly tapped Clarke on the cheek, silently asking Clarke to open her eyes and look at her. Clarke complied and her eyes fluttered open to meet Lexa's. She was pleased to see that Clarke's gaze was much less troubled now.
"You've done things that will haunt you forever, Clarke. As have I. But surviving those things doesn't make us harsh. It makes us strong. They give us even more reason to keep fighting for peace, to keep trying to be a force for good," Lexa finished.
Clarke creased her brow, "Do you have to be so insufferably wise?" she asked, reaching up a hand to trace the bridge of Lexa's nose and then tapping lovingly at the small bump there.
"I apologise," Lexa responded, and then she cleared her throat, "Everything will be fine!" she said in the highest voice she could manage.
"Ok, I take it back because that's even worse," Clarke laughed out and then, growing serious again, "Thank you, though. For the pep talk. And for hearing me out."
Lexa smiled. The blush on Clarke's cheeks hadn't gone unnoticed. "You're quite welcome, niron," she said, "Thank you for opening up to me and letting me try to help."
Lexa was struck then by just how much of an emotional upheaval the past two days had been. At this time yesterday, she and Clarke had been at wits end with one another. Then they had at last found a compromise, and now, here they were completely united again. It would have been more comforting if it hadn't been so taxing, and if the reason for them being so firmly on one another's side again wasn't so infuriating. Lexa flexed her jaw and tried to rid all thoughts of Luna from her mind, knowing that she should let it lie for now and better enjoy the renewed closeness today's events had inspired between herself and Clarke. Lexa beamed widely as she felt cool hands cup her cheeks and she allowed her head to be pulled forward until she was staring down at Clarke again. Clarke looked back up at her with an expression that could only be described as impish.
"Lexa," Clarke breathed Lexa's name out in a way that made Lexa sure that Clarke had as good as read her thoughts, and she knew what Clarke was about to say before she said it, "Take me to bed."
Sinclair shielded his bleary eyes against the low morning sunshine as he stepped out of the rover, his boots meeting the packed dirt of the road with a thud. He stifled a yawn and willed the crisp air to rouse him a little, quite unused to having to be up before the sun as the farmers had to be. The farmland was only a twenty-minute drive along the road that had been cut out of the rolling fields and woodland, and so the dawn had only just broken by the time the rover had reached its destination.
The burnt orange rays illuminated the impressive sight before Sinclair. Stretched out before his eyes were numerous fields, each marked off with sticks and twine. Already, a number of people, both his own and Trikru, were out working the fields. In the distance beyond the farmland, Sinclair could make out the shape of the farmhouse that had been constructed out of scrap metal. The building was simple enough, but the sight of it was also promising. It was a sign of what Skaikru were capable of, with a little help from their neighbours, and each time Sinclair visited the farms and saw that house, he could imagine Arkadia growing past its walls with buildings of similar structures. Homes. Real, permanent homes for each and every person who lived in the settlement. For a few of the farmers, those that were stationed here permanently to offer constant protection to the crops, the scrap metal construction was just that.
"It's a damn nice view, right?" Bryan's voice sounded from Sinclair's side.
Sinclair nodded, "It is," he agreed, "I'm surprised you haven't managed to convince Miller to move out here with you."
Bryan laughed, "Maybe I'll try when we're older. Or if we ever get livestock and need more hands. For now, I can tell he's settled as Guard Captain. And prouder to be following in his dad's footprints than he'll admit," he said with a smile, "I'm happy enough to keep calling Arkadia home just for that."
"It's always nice to hear someone say that," Sinclair responded, "If I achieve little else as Chancellor, knowing that I played a part in establishing a happy place to live for my people would be quite enough," he said with every sincerity.
Sinclair still felt like he wanted to pinch himself sometimes. It had been Octavia, of all people, that had suggested that he run in the election a year ago. When Sinclair had won by quite the landslide and found himself wearing the Chancellor's pin, it had been with no small amount of surprise. Sinclair was an engineer, not a politician, though plenty of his friends had argued that his robust mind, geared towards fixing and doing rather than towards the machinations of politics, was exactly what Arkadia needed. Sinclair could only vow to do his best, and knew that he was beyond fortunate to be supported by a skilled council. Despite his modesty, he allowed himself to enjoy the warm glow of pride at Bryan's words. It was important to take stock of one's own achievements, to step back and recognise when you'd fixed or improved something enough, lest you go too far and cause new problems.
"I should go and ring the bell, call everyone to a meeting to discuss the news from Polis," Bryan stated, keen to get to work whilst Sinclair was more than happy to keep admiring the view.
"I can do that," Sinclair offered, wanting to stay outdoors a bit longer, already feeling a lot more alert thanks to the brisk air. Besides that, he wanted the chance to check in on some of his farmers quietly, before the meeting brought everyone together.
"Alright, Chancellor," Bryan agreed, "You get the honour. I'll see you in the farmhouse."
Sinclair motioned his head in a goodbye and watched for a while as Bryan made his way towards the house, joined by the other members of the farm team that had journeyed with them in the back of the rover. Sinclair eventually set off in a different direction, heading for a nearby field where he'd spotted two unmistakable figures whilst he'd been admiring the landscape.
A Skaikru guard posted at the perimeter of the fields offered Sinclair a nod as he passed, which he returned. Officially, the guards posted about the land were there to protect the crops from attack. On the down low, however, they were still expected to keep an eye on the farmers, and to report back any signs of tension between the two clans that worked the land. So far, there had been no such reports. Sinclair stepped carefully over the twine that marked the perimeter of the field and he padded through rows upon neat rows of crop. Healthy, bright green leaves sprouted from the soil at even intervals and as Sinclair reached his targets, he slowed his pace and watched for a while as the two men busied themselves harvesting the carrots. Bellamy was down on his knees, pulling the vegetables from the soil and shaking the dirt off before he stacked them in the large wicker basket that Thelonius held out for him.
"Morning," Sinclair greeted as he neared the farmers.
Jaha glanced up from his task with a wide smile, "Good morning, Chancellor," he said.
Sinclair bristled slightly, still unused to hearing Jaha address him as such, the role reversal not quite sitting right with Sinclair yet. He shook the feeling off and dropped his attention to Bellamy.
"Chancellor Sinclair," Bellamy offered simply, barely looking up from the work he was doing.
"I'm supposed to be calling everyone to a meeting now that the farm council is back from Polis, but I thought I'd check in with you first," Sinclair offered in explanation for his presence.
He watched as Bellamy harvested another carrot, before the young man finally ceased working and stood up. "I'll head to the house," Bellamy said, excusing himself. He motioned towards Jaha and Sinclair watched as Jaha wordlessly passed the basket of carrots onto Bellamy.
Sinclair tried not to frown at the man's morose attitude, little changed from the last time Sinclair had visited and found himself in Bellamy's company. He let Bellamy stalk away without another word, though Bellamy stopped short after a few paces and turned back, a look of both expectation and reluctance on his face.
"Octavia is well," Sinclair announced. It was all he could offer. Sinclair knew it would be unwise to mention that he'd seen Octavia quite happily enjoying drinks with her friends last night. Especially when those same people would once have been counted among Bellamy's friends. Maybe some of them even considered him that way still, but if they ever spoke of Bellamy, Sinclair had not heard it himself. He understood the logic. Absence made the heart grow fonder, whilst a reunion would only threaten to rip open old wounds. Bellamy was here. They were there. It wasn't lost on Sinclair that it was a harsh sort of punishment. But nor had he forgotten why Bellamy had been forced to trade his weapons in for farming equipment.
"I worry about him," Jaha spoke, echoing Sinclair's thoughts.
Sinclair had to snort. "I still find it strange to see you two working together," he admitted, not really a response to what Jaha had said.
"Yes, the man who was Chancellor, and the man who shot the Chancellor now made equal by carrots," Jaha observed and he gave a low, infectious laugh, "Though I am certainly much happier with this simple lot," he finished.
Sinclair considered that, "I can't say how it would go, " he said, "But I hope Blake knows that he's welcome to visit Arkadia whenever he wishes. Polis may be off-limits to him, but Arkadia is not."
"I think he knows that," Jaha said, "But I also think the boy understands what this is. It's his punishment. His chance to atone. He takes that seriously, he works hard," Jaha narrowed his eyes, "We have found ourselves on very equal footing, haven't we?" he mused.
"On that note, my offer is open to you too. You don't have to stay out here permanently anymore," Sinclair said. Despite everything, Sinclair still held enormous respect for the previous Chancellor. They had worked together for many years on the Ark, back before they even knew about the unfixable fault with the air filtration systems that would prove to be the catalyst for everything that had happened since. Jaha had been a fine leader back then, the sort one would want to emulate. Sinclair thought that having Jaha close enough to seek advice from would be useful.
Jaha shook his head at him, "Jacapo, my friend, you make that offer every time you visit, and every time my answer is the same. I am settled here. This is my place on the ground and I don't intend to tempt fate by growing malcontent with the peace I've found." Jaha studied Sinclair, his intelligent eyes reading the situation with ease, "You are doing a fine job, Sinclair," he assured, catching onto Sinclair's lingering uncertainty and the motivation behind his offer. Jaha put out his arms and motioned to the land around them, to the rows of successfully grown food, to the farmers from two vastly different groups of people working together in harmony. "You can't ask for better proof of that than what you can see before you now."
The two men fell into a companionable silence as they began to walk to the corner of the field, to where the bell that would call the working farmers scattered across the fields back to the farmhouse.
"Although," Jaha broke the silence as they reached the bell, "Maybe a visit here and there wouldn't hurt."
Sinclair turned to face Jaha fully, surprised at this change in his old friend's response.
"I've been thinking about asking to start a support group," Jaha explained, "I have learned this past year how to come to terms with all that had happened 'the hard way', as Abby put it back then. I would like the opportunity to help others who may not yet have found their own peace do just that."
Sinclair couldn't mask the concern on his face as Jaha's motivations skirted extremely close to the very same ones that had him offering out the chips in Arkadia in the past.
"I understand your reservations, friend," Jaha said, reading Sinclair again and making Sinclair painfully aware of just how unlike a politician he was. He didn't even have a good poker face. "I know that in the past, my desire to help my people blinded me to the actual damage I was doing. I can only assure you that I have learned from my mistakes. I want to do better. I want to help my people properly; with words, and support, and time. No more magic cures, no more shortcuts."
Knowing that Jaha saw the parallels too was a comfort. Sinclair found himself warming to the idea. Whilst Arkadia was settled and the place seemed filled with hope these days, that did not change the many trials that the Skaikru had endured to reach that point. Sinclair didn't doubt that many of his people were still dealing with the loss of loved ones, with the tumultuous shift from life on the Ark to life on Earth. At the very least, a support group would bring those hidden trials to the forefront, give Sinclair a better idea of the mindset of the people he was tasked with leading.
"I'd want to be present at the meetings, or have a member of my council there. To start with, at least," Sinclair said.
"Of course," Jaha said simply, like he had nothing to hide.
"Alright," Sinclair agreed, "It's a good idea, thank you for offering your services."
"Save the thanks until we know if people will actually turn up," Jaha laughed out, self-depreciative. "I just want to try."
"To atone?" Sinclair guessed,
"No. Not to atone. Just to help. There's an important distinction there. If people want a group, but do not want me to lead it, then I will have at least helped you to identify a need and you can use that information as you wish. I always have my carrots," Jaha replied.
It was enough for Sinclair. Without another word, Sinclair reached out and rang the bell.
Lexa was standing out on the balcony of her bedroom, hands clasped behind her back and eyes downcast. She had intended to spend her rare free morning reading, for she had no pressing matters until the meeting that evening. But when she had sat down and tried, Lexa had found herself unable to focus properly on the words. It had taken her exactly three attempts to actually process that the owl had indeed died and after that, she had found herself slamming the book shut in a huff and stalking outside to peer over the city. If her inability to comprehend what she was reading hadn't been enough to warn her off, the loss of the creature that had been a near constant friend and companion in the series was far too close to some sort of bad omen. Lexa had thought it better to admit defeat when her mood was already fouled. She'd have to find some other way to occupy her time.
The cold made Lexa shiver and she unclasped her hands to pull the sleeves of the woolen sweater down over her icy fingers. The sweater wasn't hers, she'd pilfered it off Clarke, or rather she had pilfered it off the floor where Clarke had left it. It was comfortable, and it smelled like Clarke, but it was certainly no match for a decent coat. The garment hung loosely off Lexa's frame and kept slipping down one shoulder or the other. Even with the sleeves pulled over her hands, it did little to ward off the chill. Lexa retreated back indoors with her arms folded across her chest.
Thinking about Clarke made Lexa shoot a dark look towards the offending book. It sat quite innocently on the table beside the couch. Clarke had neglected to warn Lexa just how compelling the tales were when she'd urged Lexa to read them. Lexa never had before, but finding out that the series had been one of Clarke's favourites back on the Ark had been motivation enough. The pair of them had such vastly different childhoods, it was nice to think that something as simple as a story could unite their experiences just a little more.
Despite everything, Lexa found herself moving back towards the couch. She really did have an unusual amount of time to kill and it was the last book in the series. She was just about to sit down and try again when a knock sounded at the door and Lexa rounded on the noise with confusion on her face. She definitely wasn't expecting company. Lexa straightened up and tried to look as official as she could manage with her hair in wayward curls and whilst wearing ill fitted clothes. She hoped that it was Indra knocking, for she at least had been privy to seeing Lexa so dressed down enough times before.
"Enter," Lexa spoke out.
The bedroom door opened immediately and Lexa blinked as she tried to process the figure that came rushing towards her. The figure stopped just short of the seating area and Lexa observed with barely concealed amusement as Raven peered from Lexa's left side to her right, before scanning the rest of the room for the quarry that Lexa knew she would not find.
"Where's Clarke?" Raven panted out, suggesting that for some reason, she had rushed all the way to Clarke and Lexa's room.
Lexa righted her posture, "I'm afraid she's not here, Raven. She is helping Aden to teach the novitiates and left early to do that," she announced.
"Damn it," Raven hissed.
Lexa bristled at the negativity, but kept her face passive."She's been gone a while now, she shouldn't be too long. I know that Clarke intended to find you once she was back, she's looking forward to getting some time with you now our schedule has gotten a little quieter."
"So I can see," Raven responded, clearly making reference to Lexa's disheveled appearance.
Lexa had to wonder just how bizarre she must look right now to Raven, and she was painfully aware that this was the first time the two of them had been alone together. It might be amusing, if Lexa didn't feel so thoroughly exposed, caught at a time when herself and the Commander must seem like two separate entities. They weren't separate however, they were one and the same, and so even though Lexa looked about as unthreatening as anyone could right then, still she felt the air in the room grow thick with all of the pain that she, Commander Lexa, had caused the woman standing before her. Lexa held back a wince.
"Did you need her urgently? I can send a messenger," Lexa said into the quiet that had fallen.
"No," Raven answered, "I just wanted her to come see the rover. I was working on it most of yesterday and I think I've finished the adjustments. Thought we might go out for a spin."
"I'm sure Clarke will be happy to, once she's back," Lexa assured. She did feel sorry that Raven had missed Clarke, especially when the mechanic was clearly so thrilled with her accomplishments.
"I guess, but I don't want to wait until then," Raven admitted.
Lexa considered a moment, She glanced from Raven down to the book on her table and back again. She felt compelled to do more for Raven all of a sudden. Lexa swallowed, "I will join you," she said matter-of-factly, before she could think better of it.
"Is that an order from the Commander, or-"
"No. It's an offer. One you are welcome to refuse," Lexa said, and then an idea occurred to her, "Though there is a place I would like to show you, it won't take long to get there in the vehicle." Lexa did not say anymore for now, deciding to keep the urge she felt to make some sort of real effort with one of Clarke's friends close to her chest.
Raven seemed to think hard before she spoke again, her expression somewhere between pleasantly surprised and skeptical. "Why the hell not," she said at last, "If I'm not tearing you away from your book," she added with a smirk.
Lexa scoffed, "No, I've given up on it for the time being," she said.
"Hedwig?" Raven guessed immediately.
Feeling quite affronted at being caught out moping over the death of a fictional owl, Lexa could only offer a terse nod in response. A nod like she might make whilst sat upon her throne and dressed in full regalia. It made the whole turn of events seem even stranger and Lexa briefly battled with the urge to retract her offer.
Raven laughed at Lexa's silence. "Hey, no chickening out now you've offered, Commander. I swear to you I'm an excellent driver. Or at least I was before. How good I am with my new leg is an unknown as of yet. Which is why it would be neglectful of you to let me go out alone, actually. I'm 'your people' right?"
Lexa found herself smiling at Raven's logic, or lack thereof. She shrugged, "Wait outside whilst I change," she said simply.
"Awesome," Raven said and she retraced her steps towards the door to give Lexa her privacy. "Oh by the way," she called over her shoulder as she went, "Since you're going out in public you might want to consider wearing something with a high neck. Just saying."
Lexa could only blush in response.
Raven glanced across to her unusual passenger as she started the ignition. There had been little point in trying to explain the adjustments she had made to the rover, the way that Raven had moved the position of the pedals to make it easier to use them with the prosthetic, for Lexa had no idea what it had looked like before. The two of them had opted to simply get going right away to wherever it was that Lexa wanted to show Raven.
The Commander was currently inspecting the dash with a passive expression that Raven was going to go ahead an assume was there to mask nervousness. It was a fair assumption that Lexa had never been in a vehicle before and it hit Raven then just how unexpected and, if she was feeling generous, moving, Lexa's offer to join her was. Raven was glad that she'd caught Lexa when she'd been in a state so far removed from how she appeared as Commander. Lexa might feel bashful about it, but Raven didn't care. It had allowed her to finally glimpse the young woman underneath the armour. Lexa was human and far from untouchable. She had hobbies, she felt sad over books, the woman even bruised. Realising as such had made it a lot easier for Raven to throw caution to the wind and accept Lexa's offer to join her on her first drive since she'd gotten her prosthetic.
Raven gave the engine a rev before throwing the stick into reverse and then she made short work of turning the rover about so that it faced the open road rather than the perimeter of the city. Raven grinned, so far so good.
"You appear to have cracked it," Lexa stated.
Raven frowned, "That isn't a hint that you want to escape already?" she asked, feigning harshness.
"Not at all," Lexa said, "It'll take a little more than an about turn to throw me. Remember who you are talking to."
"It's difficult not to," Raven shot back with a scoff. She didn't mean anything by it, but it was the truth.
Raven began to drive forward. She saw Lexa shift in her seat out of the corner of her eye and grinned, couldn't resist the urge to speed up a little. She shifted gears and cruised along comfortably, feeling like she'd never been away from the wheel.
"The road will branch off in a while, keep heading west," Lexa instructed.
Raven made a noise to show she had heard. She concentrated on driving for a while and found that the silence between herself and Lexa got easier with each passing second, each roll of the tyres along the dirt track.
"Hey, so thank you for this," Raven said at last. She saw Lexa turn her head towards her, but Raven kept her eyes on the road.
"You're welcome," Lexa responded and then, so quietly that Raven almost didn't hear it, "I guess now is as good a chance as I'm likely to get to finally offer you my apologies."
Raven grit her teeth at the words. She had been hoping beyond hope that Lexa wouldn't venture there. "Can we not?" she said, gripping tightly to the steering wheel.
"The Commander does not apologise lightly, Raven. At least let me say it?" Lexa responded curtly.
Raven supposed Lexa had a point. She tried and failed to find a little smugness. "Go on," she said.
"I'm sorry," Lexa said simply, wise enough to keep it brief and to the point. More words wouldn't make it any better.
"Thanks," Raven said, "But really, it's done. Whichever thing you are apologising about, let's just leave it."
"As you wish," Lexa replied, her voice dropping low.
"It isn't for us. It's for Clarke's sake," Raven explained, though she was trying to figure out her emotions on the fly and probably didn't sound too convincing. She tried again, "Look, I appreciate that you've made an effort with me. I get that. And I want to do the same. But if we keep trying to cut open old wounds rather than looking ahead, it's going to be a disaster. At least if we put a full-stop on the past, if we don't get along we can just chalk it up to clashing personalities. And we can say that we at least tried."
"That's not very reassuring, Raven," Lexa laughed out.
The noise took Raven aback and she had to glance over to the Commander briefly just to make certain she wasn't hearing things. The wide grin on Lexa's face assured her that she hadn't. Amazingly, Raven found herself smiling too. She turned forwards again and guided the rover into woodland. The trees were soon packed so tightly together except for where the road was marked, that Raven had to turn the headlights on. She let out a sigh.
"I mean," she started talking again, "I understand that you did what you had to as Commander. There are expectations placed upon you that you can't fail to uphold without it potentially costing you your throne. And mountain-sized hiccup aside, I'm not stupid. I know that you keeping your power is a hell of a lot better for Skaikru than the alternatives on offer."
"I see," Lexa mused, "So it's a case of better the devil you know?"
Raven rolled her eyes. That was one way to put it, she supposed. Still, she sensed that Lexa and herself were edging towards a breakthrough and she didn't want to upset the Commander by agreeing. "I'll leave judgment of that to Clarke," she responded with a wry smile. She caught Lexa's hum of amusement. "Speaking of," she said, "as Clarke's self-appointed best friend, it is my duty to ask you how things are on that front. I understand you've had a stressful couple of days."
"Hang a left here," Lexa said, and once Raven had turned down the much narrower path she responded to Raven's probing, "There's no need to worry. Clarke and I are fine. We may have our disagreements, we may even annoy one another at times, but we're alright."
"Oh, so there's things about Clarke that annoy you? Interesting," Raven teased. She could sense Lexa's eyeroll even though she did not actually see it.
"And there's plenty about me that annoys her, I'm sure," Lexa responded quickly, not letting herself be caught out, "Her flaws are part of what makes her Clarke. I didn't just fall for the good parts of her."
Lexa's honesty was very unexpected and Raven battled for a witty response. She wondered if that had been Lexa's ploy all along, to shock Raven so much that she was now left speechless. Raven grinned, pondering if she'd actually met her witty match in the Commander. "You know, you almost had me fooled. I definitely thought that your infatuation with our illustrious Ambassador boiled down to two very shallow and entirely unmissable things."
"You may tease Clarke and I, Raven, but don't think we can't see through you. One day you will find yourself in the same predicament, and then you can expect to get everything you give now right back," Lexa said.
Raven felt herself blushing and tried her best to play along to hide it, "Teasing must have teasing?"
Lexa snorted, "Something like that," she said, and then, "I do hope you find someone that makes you feel the way I feel about Clarke. You are a good person, Raven, you deserve that."
"Shut up, Lexa," Raven scoffed, using Lexa's name without the title for the first time and hoping that Lexa wouldn't mind. She didn't seem to.
Raven was only a little concerned about masking her embarrassment that Lexa had seen right through her usual bravado after such a short amount of time together. Against all logic, there was something about Lexa as she was at that moment that was both completely disarming and utterly comforting. Then again, Lexa wasn't the only person with a certain reputation to uphold and Raven smirked devilishly, "Anyway, I just want you to know that if you do ever break Clarke's heart, I will put explosives in your breakfast."
Lexa only laughed in response.
"Hey, do you like music?" Raven piped up when Lexa was through, not wanting the rover to grow quiet again even if they were done talking for now.
"Of course," Lexa responded, "Polis has many talented musicians."
"Good, you see that little white thing there," Raven pointed blindly to the music player that was plugged into the rover's stereo system, "Middle button is to play, side buttons are to skip. Pick something good."
Raven turned the headlights back off as the rover made it out of the woods and onto a much clearer and wider dirt track. Since the way was so clear, Raven allowed herself the chance to watch as Lexa picked up the music player with a rather amusing look of confusion, bordering on fear of the small device. Lexa's thumb hit the play button and music filled the rover, carrying on from the last time it was used. Raven recognised the outro from Back in Black, Murphy's pick, and then there was a garbled mess of noises as Lexa hit the skip button after a few seconds of each song as if she knew what she was looking for. Raven gave a scowl every time Lexa skipped past a decent tune, but said nothing, curious about what would catch Lexa's ear.
"This is all very unlike what I'm used to," Lexa stated as she kept skipping.
Raven shook her head, "It might help if you gave something a chance," she pointed out.
Lexa hit the button a few more times before finally listening to Raven's advice and she let the song she had landed on play past the first few beats. When the synth really kicked in Raven spied Lexa's fingers tapping against her knee.
"I've never heard a sound like this before," Lexa said as her head started to bob.
"You wouldn't have. It's a synthesizer," Raven answered, despite knowing that her words would mean little to Lexa. "Not a bad choice though, I think you'll like the lyrics."
With that, Raven kept her eyes firmly on the road again and the pair said nothing else, content to hear the song through to its conclusion. Lexa had bobbed her head and tapped against her knees the whole time and when the song was done, she turned towards Raven.
"I liked it," she said, and then she picked the music player up and pressed the back button, so that the song started again.
Raven opened her mouth to protest, because repeating a song simply wasn't a done thing in her rover. But then her mouth went slack with surprise as Lexa started to hum along to the music and, quite astonishingly, when the lyrics started, the Commander sang along. Lexa's singing voice was high and not at all bad. In fact, she was really rather good and as the first chorus came to a finish, she had no trouble hitting the impossibly high note. A feat nobody had managed before when Raven had been around to hear it.
Raven laughed and figured that if you couldn't beat them, she might as well join them. She waited for the next verse and sang along too;
"So needless to say, I'm odds and ends,
I'll be stumbling away, slowly learning that life is ok..."
Raven's foot hit the floor and the rover tore over the dirt as she and Lexa sang and laughed their hearts out.
Lincoln had spied Octavia entering their tent in the camp erected within Arkadia's walls and, keen to take the opportunity to grab some time alone with her, he had quickly followed. It wasn't that they struggled to spend time with one another, just yesterday they'd managed to steal away on Helios for a few hours before returning come the evening, but even so, Lincoln was not one to look a gifthorse in the mouth. He lifted the material away from the tent entrance with his arm and padded into the cosy space. The tent was simple enough, only just bigger than the room they'd shared before in the main building. But the tent was undeniably more familiar to Lincoln, and the thick burlap canvas, wax-treated for waterproofing, was homely and comforting.
With quiet steps, Lincoln approached Octavia where she was standing in the centre of the tent. He was just about to launch his arms about her middle when he stopped short, noticing the obvious tension in Octavia's shoulders, the straightness of her back.
"Octavia?" he prompted gently, and despite the quietness of his voice, Octavia's body jerked and she wheeled to face him. That Octavia hadn't heard him enter the tent when she was usually so difficult to sneak up on thanks to Indra's training, made Lincoln absolutely sure that something was wrong. "What is it?" he asked, and he moved forward and placed his large hands on Octavia's cheeks, willed her to look him in the eye.
"You know what," Octavia let out in a sigh. It wasn't the clearest answer she could have given him, but it was enough.
"Quiet morning?" Lincoln prompted.
Octavia scoffed, "Doesn't cover it," she said and then she pulled herself away and began to stalk about the space. Lincoln merely waited. "I feel wired," Octavia offered at last, "I keep feeling like something is going to give, but then I have another day of doing nothing and I remember, no this is it now."
Lincoln frowned at Octavia's words, but said nothing. He knew that she was far from upset that their people had found peace at last, that her words were spoken out of the frustration of someone that had yet to find their true place in that peaceful existence.
"I'm at a loose end, Lincoln. And I know that it's starting to show," Octavia admitted.
Lincoln had to smirk at that, "You have been particularly fiery, lately," he agreed, tempering the admonishment by putting as much love into his voice as he could manage.
Octavia turned about to face him and shot him a look, before she smiled too, ever so slightly. "Well I haven't resorted to solving things with my fists again, yet. So there's that," she said.
Lincoln shook his head, still unused to the self-depreciative streak that Octavia had developed more recently. It was a constant reminder of the age difference between them. Octavia was still growing, still maturing, and she was still falling into all the traps that came along with that difficult process.
"You know I'd be more than happy to spar with you, if you ever feel the need," Lincoln offered.
"Cheeky," Octavia shot back. At last she gave up with her pacing around the tent and went and sat on the edge of the bed, though her feet still tapped against the floor. "I just wish that the answer was more obvious, you know?" she said, "Fine, people don't really need a liaison between Arkadia and the grounders anymore, but there's got to be something else."
"There is," Lincoln agreed, "We just need to figure it out."
Octavia glanced up at him from the bed, looked almost apologetic that she was voicing things that she knew Lincoln had heard numerous times before. She needn't worry. Lincoln would hear her out a million times over and a million times more if that's what Octavia needed him to do. He went and joined her on the bed, wrapping an arm about her shoulders and pulling Octavia close, until her head rested against his chest.
"I hate feeling like a spare part," Octavia mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, "I've spent my whole childhood feeling like that. Thinking that I was never going to get to live. And now, after coming so close to finding a purpose down here, it got taken away and I feel like I'm waiting for life to start all over again."
Lincoln fought back the urge to point out that life couldn't always be adventure and excitement. Sometimes it was slow and reflective and yes, just a little mundane. For him, mundanity was still a shock to the system, but for the woman who had spent her formative years hidden away under the floor, it must feel painfully familiar. So, Lincoln kept quiet and simply placed a kiss atop Octavia's head.
"Sometimes I wonder if we should just go like we always meant to. I could finish training with Indra, even if the training never gets used. At least the process would be something," Octavia mused.
"You know, if you say the words I will go," Lincoln assured, "but we have settled here. This is home."
"I know," Octavia replied, "And I'll never stop being grateful for having one of those. With you."
Lincoln squeezed Octavia just a little tighter at that, and she responded by picking up her head from his shoulder and gazing up into his face with her grey green eyes. Lincoln was happy to see that the storm within them had subsided, replaced instead with the twinkle of mischief.
Lincoln almost groaned when a voice called to them from outside the tent, "Lincoln? Octavia? Are you home?" the feminine voice called and the noise was immediately followed up by the loud babbling of a baby.
Octavia's eyes narrowed instantly at the noise and she glared at Lincoln, "What have you done?" she asked.
Lincoln winced and extracted himself from Octavia's hold, springing off the bed. He went to the entrance of the tent and swept the material aside to reveal Lois, the mother of Arkadia's month old twins. She was holding one in her arms, whilst her husband, Jonathan, was stood just behind her with the other.
"Come on in," Lincoln welcomed the parents into the tent, and then he turned back to Octavia with the widest smile he could manage upon his face, "These new parents want a little break," he explained, "I may have offered to babysit. With you," he added quickly, before Octavia could try to excuse herself.
Octavia did not respond to him, instead she picked herself up and approached the mother. "May I?" she asked cautiously.
Lincoln watched as Octavia took the small bundle of baby into her arms. He laughed at Octavia's expression. She looked close to terrified, and then as the baby began to gurgle away quite happily in her arms, Octavia visibly relaxed.
"Alright," Octavia said, "I think we can manage this."
The look of gratitude on Lois's face was quite something. "Thank you both," she replied.
"Anytime, really," Lincoln responded. He and Octavia were after all, in need of something to pass the time.
"You didn't say anything about hiking," Raven shot, her voice carrying on the healthy wind that blew across the hilltop; making the grass rustle, Raven's teeth chatter, and her face prickle. She sniffed with a cold nose.
"We could have stayed on lower ground. You said you wanted a closer look," Lexa gave back immediately.
Raven rolled her eyes. The rapport she and Lexa had found wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows, but it was something. Still, Lexa was technically right, Raven hadn't been happy enough to take in the sight before her from way back down the hill, where the two of them had had to abandon the rover.
"I may have misjudged the height and steepness of this here hill," Raven pointed out. Despite that, she felt quite pumped, the adrenaline of the climb, and the fact that she'd managed to make the hike with her new leg, coursed through her blood.
"You climbed well," Lexa offered simply, as if she might be attuned to Raven's thoughts. Raven appreciated the notion.
With their sniping through for a while, Raven took in a long breath and observed the sight before her. Lexa had brought her to the remains of a wind farm. White turbines in various states of disrepair peppered the hillside, some of them still looming tall but missing blades, others totally collapsed and lying pathetically on their sides in the grass. Even so, the sight was impressive, and not unlike some similar vistas that Raven had happened across on her year of road-tripping. The lands of the Kongeda were blemished with such remnants from the old world, a veritable breakout of abandoned factories, power plants, and other such industrial sites. And thanks to the grounders' superstition of all things technological, all of them stood empty and unused. Wasted, in Raven's opinion.
"So," Lexa spoke, "Do you know what this is?"
Raven turned to the Commander. Lexa was also taking in the sight, curiosity on her own face rather than any noticeable fear of what she saw. "It's a wind farm. If the turbines were working, the wind would make the blades spin and that movement generates electricity. Power." Raven explained as simply as she could.
Lexa nodded. Raven half expected Lexa to ask if she could finish off the job started by the nuclear war, and destroy what remained of the farm. But then, Lexa was a woman full of surprises. "Can you fix them?" she asked, "Make them generate power again?"
Raven glanced over at a turbine that had collapsed onto it's side. She hissed through her teeth, "I mean, maybe," she said, and then she remembered how she'd gotten down to Earth in the first place and felt herself straightening up, "Damn. Sure, I could. With enough time."
"Of course. And I wouldn't expect you to prioritise this over your plans for Arkadia. That comes first," Lexa assured.
"Thanks," Raven muttered, and then, because it was bugging her quite a bit, "I thought that the Kongeda feared technology though?" She heard Lexa give a hum that was almost a laugh.
"They do. But you see, I haven't ruffled any feathers in a while and I'm growing restless," Lexa said.
Raven was about to respond, but then she turned to Lexa and caught the Commander's amused expression, the raised eyebrow. Raven laughed, "At least you know how to take the piss out of yourself."
"In the right sort of company," Lexa agreed. Her face grew serious again, "In all honesty, many of the superstitions surrounding technology were born out of our fear of the Mountain Men. But now the Mountain has fallen, and perhaps it is time to move past those fears," Lexa considered.
Raven kept silent and simply listened, understanding that for all their hijinks on the way here, Lexa had opted to show the wind farm to Raven as something that, for all intents, was a call to engineering arms from a Commander to one of her subjects. The way that Lexa fell into one aspect of herself or the other, with practiced ease and elegance, briefly had Raven wondering how Clarke coped with it. Then again, Raven had now spoken to both parties enough times that she had a good idea of the answer.
"The world has reached something of an impasse of late," Lexa continued on, "Progress must be made somewhere. I am not naive enough to trust in the Kongeda's ability to appreciate the calm for too long. As Commander, it is my duty to consider how to keep my people occupied in ways that do not invite violence back into our existence. I think that this is it. I don't think that anyone can deny how useful it might be to bring power back to our world."
"Yeah, well I'm walking, hiking, proof of that fact," Raven said. Lexa didn't respond to that, the Commander seemed to be lost in her own thoughts and so Raven opted to leave Lexa to it. She surveyed the landscape one last time and felt an undeniable thrill of excitement at the prospect of getting the turbines back in functioning order. Raven could bring electricity to Polis, to the whole Kongeda eventually. She knew she could.
"I'll fix these up for you one day," Raven promised, "Thanks for bringing me here."
"Thank you for humouring me."
Raven smirked, "Yeah, that's my specialty," she said, "Though you're not so bad yourself, surprisingly enough."
"We should think about starting back, Clarke will be back from the lesson by now, she'll be wondering where we are," Lexa said.
"Maybe she thinks one of us is out in the woods, burying the other," Raven joked. She turned and started back down the hill, "Come on, Commander, wouldn't want you freezing your ass off. You'd be for it then."
Lexa laughed brightly as she fell into step beside Raven, the pair of them treading carefully back down the hill, "Oh no. Clarke wants to spend some time with you, remember. You can face her wrath."
"Lexa," Raven shot, and she waited until Lexa had turned towards her before speaking again, "Remember when Hedwig died?"
The look of exaggerated hurt on Lexa's face made Raven guffaw.
"I will leave you behind, Raven Reyes kom Skaikru," Lexa hissed.
"Why, do you know how to drive, Heda Lexa kom Trikru?" Raven asked.
"It didn't look so difficult. I am the Commander. I'm sure I could figure it out," Lexa stated, and then, "I could try?"
Raven considered a moment. She shook her head, "No," she said resolutely, "Not with me in there with you anyway. I'm sorry, Lexa, I just like living too much to take the risk."
Lexa's frown actually fell away at that, and Raven smiled when she realised exactly what she'd just said, and just how genuinely she'd meant it. The moment quickly passed however, and the two of them were back to their battle of wits as they made their way down to the rover.
"This is awesome," Raven appraised as she traced the outline of the sketch with a finger, mapping out the shape of an astronaut floating on a spacewalk.
Clarke smiled at the praise. "I was thinking it could be the main focal point on the thigh of your prosthetic," she explained, and then she reached out and flipped to the next page of the pad, a page covered with stars and swirling nebulous clouds, "with something like this as the background."
Raven considered the starry drawing and gave a nod, "Sounds good to me. You're the artist here," she said.
"Yes, but it's your leg," Clarke pointed out.
Raven didn't answer, content with appreciating Clarke's work. Clarke couldn't help but feel a warm glow in her tummy and she sighed contentedly, letting her back hit the couch cushion.
The two friends were currently sat in Clarke's bedroom, for at last Clarke had found some time to spare Raven. Lexa had been sweet enough to excuse herself to the library to give Clarke and Raven some privacy whilst they caught up. Her consideration of the friends hadn't taken Clarke by surprise at all. What had shocked her, in the best way, was coming back to an empty bedroom once she had done helping Aden with his morning teaching session. Clarke had been just about to go and hunt Lexa down when her partner had returned with Raven in tow, and even more surprising than that had been the sight of the pair of them laughing their way into the room. It had left Clarke quite speechless. Raven and Lexa had wasted no time in filling that silence with news of their adventure. Apparently Lexa had played passenger whilst Raven tried driving the rover and they had visited an old wind farm. Raven had explained animatedly how one day she was going to get it running again and provide the capital with power, but Clarke had barely cared about that news. She had simply been thrilled, ecstatic even, to see that Lexa and Raven had made an effort with one another in her absence, and more than that, appeared to be getting along rather well.
Once the unlikely duo had explained away their absence, Lexa had insisted on making herself scarce, and now Clarke was pleased to finally have the time to show Raven the designs she'd cooked up. Actually showing them off made the night's sleep she sacrificed to draw them more than worthwhile.
"Hey," Raven spoke and Clarke turned to her expectantly, "Am I alright to keep paging through, or am I likely to stumble across something incriminating?"
"Raven!" Clarke warned. She didn't know why she bothered, warnings had never put Raven off before.
"Oh, I see. You have a 'special' sketchbook for those," Raven teased.
Clarke felt colour rising to her cheeks and she opted to stay silent this time, lest she dig herself a larger hole. Then again, the ground swallowing her up right then and there wouldn't be all that unwelcomed.
Clarke watched in silence as Raven, knowing that it was safe to do so, turned the next page of the pad herself and landed on a sketch of her rover speeding off into a sunset, the vehicle a small shaded blip in the bright half-circle.
"These are all rad. I might have to get my real leg inked too at this rate. I won't be able to choose," Raven mused.
"Be careful," Clarke said, "It's easy to catch the bug when you start."
"So I've noticed," Raven said and she peered up from the sketchpad to meet Clarke's eyes a moment, before her focus shifted to Clarke's own sleeve. "It's the story of your journey down here?" Raven observed.
Clarke shifted in her seat and inspected her own tattoo, "It is," she said, glad that the meaning was not lost to others.
The tattoo ran from shoulder to wrist and had several stages to it. It began, as Clarke's artistic inspiration so often had back on the Ark, with a paintbrush and palette. The rest of the design appeared to bloom out from the bristles of the brush. Over Clarke's forearm, a space scene not too unlike the one she had designed for Raven. Floating among the stars was a watch face, as identical to Jake's watch as Clarke had managed to make it. The stars gave way to cloudy skies, a single shooting star straying from its sisters to paint trails in the Earth's atmosphere. At her elbow, right where the sky scenery gave way to a forest canopy, there was a knight chess piece. Canopy gave way to tree trunks, and then to a floral design. The stethoscope might have seemed out of place, threaded among the petals, but Clarke had wanted something for her mother and she had fond memories of using Abby's stethoscope to listen to the heartbeats of anyone who was willing to entertain the young Griffin. Below the flowers were twisting roots, the Trikru symbol upon her pulse point the last part of the design. The very end of Clarke's crash landing. The safety net. The home.
Of the many elements in Clarke's tattoo, it was the knight piece that Raven motioned to, her brows raised in a silent question.
"For Wells," Clarke explained in a mumble.
Raven nodded, "I've never really heard you talk about him," she said, inviting Clarke to do just that if she wished.
"When it happened, how it happened, I barely processed it," Clarke said, "There was so much going on, so many people counting on me. Or perhaps I thought there were people counting on me."
"No, we were," Raven countered, "I mean, me too, but-"
Clarke sniggered. "I've managed to actually deal with it the past year," she let out, "a little. Wells was part of my life before either of us could talk. But Lexa has been more than willing to lend an ear when I've needed to talk. Mostly sharing stories about how we grew up on the Ark. Just doing that, remembering and honouring him like that, it's enough."
"Yeah, must be nice to have someone you can do that with," Raven muttered. Clarke winced at the sadness in Raven's voice and regretted opening up so much to someone who had faced such similar losses. One loss they even shared more than either cared to think too hard about. "I've come to the conclusion that Lexa is a good egg. Not as much of a stick in the mud as she could have been." Raven stated, using humour to deflect away from the tension as she so often did.
On another day, Clarke might have pushed the topic, but for now she was grateful for the respite. "I'm glad you've seen that," Clarke admitted, "Sometimes I feel like my people must be looking at me like I've lost my mind."
Raven tutted, "Well, you know what we say to them, don't you?" she asked, and then before waiting for an answer, Raven waved her hand in the air, her two fingers raised in a gesture clearer than any words could be.
Clarke laughed voraciously, keeling over at the waist as her sides split.
"Besides, the people that matter, like yours truly, are thrilled for you and the future Mrs Griffin."
The laughter turned into a groan and Clarke swatted Raven on the arm, "Stop that! Last warning," she hissed.
"Why? I just want the satisfaction of being right," Raven argued back.
Unable to keep up with Raven, Clarke merely rolled her eyes. She grabbed the sketchpad out of Raven's lap and turned to another page, the one she'd drafted the whole design onto. She thrust the thing back towards Raven, hoping it would be enough of a distraction. "Here, look," Clarke said to emphasise the point.
Raven glanced down at the design and Clarke heard her gasp. Raven's finger immediately found and traced the shape of her origami pendant in the sketch.
"I had to draw it from memory," Clarke explained with a shrug.
"No, you've got it," Raven answered, her voice quiet and reflective now. There was a brief silence between them where perhaps hundreds of things passed unsaid, and then, "You don't have anything for Finn on your arm."
Clarke sucked in a breath. "No," she said, "I, well, I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't mind before I did."
Raven turned to face Clarke fully and there were tears forming in her eyes. "Of course I'm ok with it. I want him to be remembered," she said.
Clarke considered that. She pointed to a space between the inked tree trunks, left there deliberately, "I want to get the silhouette of the two-headed deer here," she explained.
Raven managed to smile, "Do it," she urged, "Hell, we could go get inked together."
It was a tempting idea, but then Clarke remembered what was about to happen that evening. She wrinkled her nose, "That would be nice, but I think you'd be waiting a while for me to have the time," she said as cryptically as she could.
Raven's eyes narrowed immediately, her sharp brain missing nothing, "Is that in reference to this big meeting happening tonight?" she asked.
"Yes," Clarke replied, "But I can't say anymore yet." Clarke grimaced as she considered that once the meeting was through, if it went how she and Lexa wanted it to go, that victory would not come without cost. Clarke would not only have to bid farewell to Raven and her mother, but to warn them of the extended and potentially dangerous absence she was about to take. "When I can tell you, I'd appreciate some support. I can't imagine my mom will take it too well," Clarke revealed.
Raven made a funny face, gritting her teeth, "Yikes," she said. "Well, I'll consider staying on your side, but no promises. I think Abby kind of adopted me yesterday and I'm not a big enough person to say I won't try to be the favourite if given the chance."
Clarke shook her head, "Unbelievable," she muttered, pretending to be hurt. Clarke couldn't keep the grin off her face, however, "I suppose that's what having a sister is for," she said.
"What? Constant competition? Maybe, can't say I've ever had a sister before to tell you," Raven said and then a look of inspiration covered her face, "Oh, does this make me the Commander's sister-in-law? Does that come with perks?"
Clarke glared at Raven with the most threatening expression she could muster. She suddenly wished that the meeting was now.
The space fell to silence as the throne room doors opened and Clarke watched as Commander Lexa came striding into the room with her small entourage. Lexa's posture never faltered as she swaggered across the carpet to the dias. She climbed the stairs and turned briskly to survey the room. Those that had entered the room with her quickly made their way to their places. Aden to the right of the throne, Indra to the left. It was the General who stepped forward and addressed the gathered Ambassadors.
"Strik yu daun gon yu Heda," Indra commanded, her strong voice echoing through the space.
Clarke made sure to keep her back rigid as she dropped onto a knee, and then she bowed her head forward in the customary display of respect. Her actions were mirrored by the other twelve Ambassadors in the throne room as each and everyone of them kneeled in deference to their Commander.
There was a beat whilst Lexa surveyed the action, and Clarke had to fight to keep her face passive as she glanced up to find Lexa's own gaze lingering on her just a little too long, before those green eyes swept past her. Clarke dropped her attention to the floor and waited, heard as Lexa took her seat on her throne. Clarke peered up again just in time to catch the barely there nod that Lexa gave, the silent permission for the Ambassadors to rise and take their own seats.
Clarke righted herself and took her place on the Skaikru Ambassador's wooden chair. The whole thing was something Clarke had done countless times already, when business required her to keep her place as Bandrona, rather than granted her the honour of being among Lexa's entourage. Clarke set her focus on Lexa, couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach at the sight of the Commander in full regalia; long overcoat, spaulder, and sash.
The only thing that was missing was Lexa's signature warpaint. There had been very little need for it the past year, except for a few ceremonial occasions. Though every now and then, the warpaint had also been donned in much less professional settings. Clarke felt herself shift in her seat, and she battled to keep her concentration. Still, the sight of Lexa sat upon her throne, commanding the rapt attention of the whole room without even doing much, was an inspiring sight to behold. It always reminded Clarke of exactly who she had fell for. The woman before her was, in Clarke's view, the absolute pinnacle of what it was to be a leader. Kind and compassionate, soft even, in times of peace. But underneath that was the darkness, the ruthlessness, the often times cold and calculating mind of someone whose duty it was to protect her people at any and all costs. It had taken time, but now Clarke knew that there wasn't a single part of Commander Lexa that she didn't accept, that she could not love.
"Ambassadors of the Coalition," Lexa spoke out, voice low and clear in the quiet, "We are gathered here this evening because we once again find ourselves on the cusp of change."
Clarke's brow knitted as she felt the shift in the atmosphere immediately. No doubt the Ambassadors had expected this meeting to be quite the non-event. They had gotten that way of late. She could see several of them fidgeting in their seats in her peripheral vision, but Clarke kept her own eyes towards the throne, fascinated at how passive Lexa's expression was even though she too must have felt the blanket of expectation and nervousness fall upon the room.
Lexa continued with her announcement, "During a meeting with the joint Skaikru and Trikru farming council, Polis received a most unexpected visitor. After many years in hiding, Luna kom Floukru returned home, bringing with her some most interesting news."
"Commander, I object! We cannot trust anything that traitor and coward tells us," it was the Yujleda Ambassador who spoke out of turn.
Clarke gulped as she saw the briefest flash of white hot anger pass over Lexa's face before serenity returned. She observed the way that Lexa set her attention upon the Ambassador, a dead-eyed stare meant to shrink the man back into his place.
"You will not speak out of turn, Bandrona Uzac," it was Indra that chastised the man from her spot beside the throne, saving Lexa the effort of dealing with the riffraff.
There was a beat, where Clarke thought that Uzac might try to push his luck and she silently willed him not to make the meeting any more difficult than it need be. Mercifully the Ambassador bowed his head, "Apologies, Heda. It will not happen again."
"No. It won't," Lexa agreed and there was little doubt that her words were meant as a threat. Just because the Kongeda had moved away from violent retaliation, did not mean that it took the breaking of laws lightly. Punishments were still necessarily harsh in a society where extended captivity were still not an option. "Now, as I was saying before the interruption," Lexa continued on, and Clarke found herself smirking just a little at the brattiness in Lexa's tone, "Luna returned to Polis and brought with her news of another society of people living across the ocean. It is among these people that Luna has spent her years, and now she has come back to offer us the chance to meet with them."
If any of the Ambassadors had something to say to that, this time they rather wisely kept quiet, appearing at least on the outside, happy enough to let Lexa finish.
"Luna has agreed to join us at this meeting, and I now invite her to speak to you all," Lexa said and she motioned with her head towards the guards at the doors.
Clarke watched as the doors were opened and then Luna made her way into the throne room, her expression open and friendly. Clarke almost scoffed at the sight, still reeling a little from what had happened last night and still absolutely certain that there was plenty Luna hadn't told herself or Lexa, and that she wouldn't be revealing tonight either.
Luna reached the foot of the dias and she was the absolute picture of obedience as she bent the knee. When she bowed her head, all Clarke could see were Luna's masses of red hair sticking out from the formal coat she now wore. Clarke looked up at Lexa. She sighed, quiet enough for nobody to notice. Clarke was still unsure how she felt about the old friends. On the one hand, she wanted more than anything for Luna, who had known Lexa as a child when so few people still living had, to once again have an important part in Lexa's life. On the other hand, Clarke was almost certain that the gap between the women was too wide, wider even than the ocean they all planned to cross together. Sometimes it was better to accept that. Lexa could find new friends, Clarke didn't doubt that. After all, Lexa and Raven had clearly made some real progress today despite everything between them. Wasn't that proof enough that Lexa didn't need to scrabble for connections that had been broken beyond repair? Clarke caught herself, her mouth thinning to a hard line. She was letting her drive to fix things rule her. It wasn't her place to make the decision either way. It was Lexa's.
Clarke blinked her thoughts away and found that during her thinking time, she had completely missed Luna being given permission to begin addressing the room. Clarke willed herself to focus on the words now, and hoped she hadn't missed too much. At least she could ask Lexa to fill her in after the meeting, even if it would mean admitting that she had let her concentration waiver.
"- the Government of Europa, led by President Dominique, wishes to meet with Commander Lexa and an entourage of her choosing. Dominique has made it clear that I am to assure you that Europa means no ill will towards the Kongeda, they merely wish to start a dialogue that may one day lead to a positive relationship between the two peoples, maybe even open up the possibility of trade and communication across the Ocean," Luna was saying, "I have agreed to the Commander's terms, and will allow her to journey to Europa accompanied by a diplomatic delegation, and as per her request, an army five-hundred strong to act as a failsafe, should Europa mean to deceive or endanger the Kongeda in anyway. That I have agreed to this should indicate to you that I have no doubts of Europa's harmless intentions," she finished.
Clarke considered the new information about the government of Europa. It had a President. Clarke chastised herself again for zoning out and hoped she hadn't missed any more useful information.
"Thank you, Luna," Lexa spoke again now, still sitting rigidly in her throne, "Now whilst I have already shown my willingness to journey to Europa with the terms Luna has described in place, I understand that this is a decision that may affect the whole Kongeda. Therefore, it is my duty to be as transparent as possible with you all and to put the final decision to a vote. Before that, do any of you have any other suggestions, or concerns, that you wish to discuss?" Lexa asked and Clarke noted the way that Lexa's eyes met Uzac's as she opened the room up to discussion. If only he had waited.
It was the Trishana Ambassador whom Lexa nodded to first, and the woman briefly bowed her head before speaking, "This is a dangerous quest you talk of going on, Heda. You would be gone a long time. If they wish to speak with you, why did they not journey here themselves? You should wait and let them do that," she suggested.
"This was considered," Luna answered for Lexa. This time, since Luna was more knowledgeable about that matter than Lexa herself, the Commander allowed it. "However, it was decided that I should come alone as a familiar face. The Government of an entirely different society arriving at your shore could easily have been mistaken as an attempt to colonize the Kongeda. That is not our intention at all."
The Ambassador made a noise that she was satisfied. A few of the hands in the room dropped, clearly their own questions had been answered too. Only one remained and Lexa motioned her head to give the Ingranrona Ambassador the right to speak.
"I agree that your journeying there is a risk. Is doing nothing at all not an option? We know that one another exist now, best to leave each society to its own," he said.
"May I?" Clarke spoke, asking permission to give the answer that had leapt into her throat.
Lexa gave her a nod.
"Do you really think that either society will be happy to exist so anonymously to the other? Now that we are aware of them, and they of us, it is better to be proactive. We accept the invitation to talk, make a good impression. If nothing comes of that, then at least we will know each other as friendly. As people. We take away the fear of the unknown," Clarke said and she knew that she was echoing what Lexa had pointed out in their initial spat over what to do. She hoped that hearing it from one of his equals would set the Ambassador at ease. It seemed to, for he said nothing more in response to her.
"I know that this will require my extended absence," Lexa said, "But I think that this past year has proven to us all that this Kongeda is functioning as it was always intended to. I trust you all to aid your respective leaders in guiding the thirteen clans during my absence. And I will be leaving the throne in the care of Aden. His novitiate training makes him more than capable of rising to the occasion. General Indra will also remain here to support him." Lexa paused for a moment. Clarke knew that she was letting the obvious praise of the Ambassadors soak in the air a little, buttering them up before the crunch. "And now it is time to vote. All those in favour of accepting Luna's offer and journeying to Europa?"
There was a beat, and then all of the Ambassadors stood up and gave a 'Sha' of agreement, Clarke the first among them to do so.
"Very well," Lexa said, "I ask each of you to arrange for a number of warriors to be sent to the Floukru territory coast, where they will find Luna's ship. I will choose my own delegation and then, we travel to Europa."
Though she had been pleased with the unanimous vote, Clarke felt herself gritting her teeth. There was no going back now. She was going across the ocean.
Murphy pulled his face even as he took a healthy bite out of the cat thing that Emori had caught in the abandoned lab. It tasted foul and the meat was stringy, but it beat starving. And it meant that he and Emori could afford to hold onto some of the medical equipment they'd looted rather than trading it all for a bite to eat when they reached the next settlement. There hadn't been a large one for some miles.
"Hey, how's the map coming?" Murphy asked with a full mouth.
Emori was sat across the cooking fire and using its dying embers to light her work as she etched out the new areas they'd ventured into today in charcoal on canvas. She looked up from what she was charting and smiled,
"It looks good," she answered, "I'm trying to work out how close to the border we've gotten. We've strayed quite far south west recently."
Murphy finished off his food before replying. "Are you sure we're still in Azgeda?"
Emori shrugged, "I think so, but maybe we should head-"
Emori did not finish her sentence and instead, Murphy heard her let out a scream of terror. He only heard it, because someone had crept up behind him and shoved a black material bag over his head. Murphy struggled hard against the attacker, but it was no use. Whoever it was was much bigger and stronger than himself and Murphy felt queasy with fear and pain as his struggling only ended with him being pushed roughly to the floor. He would have been eating dirt if not for the bag.
Still, Murphy tried to break loose as he felt his hands being tied behind his back. But when he felt himself being picked up and slung over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes, the fight went out of him. His ears were buzzing from the shock and his brain was on overdrive. He had no idea if Emori had suffered the same fate or worse, but he could not find his voice to call for her.
Murphy was carried a small ways and then he heard the unmistakable noise of a cage door being opened. He was tossed into the cage carelessly and let out a groan as his front hit wood. He turned on his side and his back met the metal wire of the cage. Another thud sounded, and despite the fear coursing through him, despite the way Murphy's stomach rolled, he took great comfort in finally knowing that Emori had not been left behind or worse. And then he realised that either of those fates might actually be better for her than whatever was in store for them now. Murphy choked back a sob as he shuffled on the wooden surface until his knees knocked against Emori's. He dared not do anymore than that.
Murphy almost vomited when the whole cage lurched, and then the whole thing was moving along. Murphy realised then that it wasn't just a cage, but a cart, and by willing his ears to work properly again, Murphy could hear the sound of hooves on a dirt track. He breathed hard, the air in the bag growing warm and stale. Murphy lay completely still in the cart and cursed his entire existence.
