When The Night Falls Quiet
Oh hey guys! I want to start off by saying that I'm sorry. In 'Stepping Stone' I had promised to update this story within the week of that being published, however a few days after I said that, a friend passed away. I had also planned on releasing this chapter within a week of publishing the first, but my personal life was shattered into a million pieces. Ultimately, my life came to a standstill, and I'm only now starting to pick up the pieces.
Moving away from that black hole of misery, I want to say that from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Your response to chapter one, and ultimately this story has been unbelievable. To the people who reviewed, followed, favourited and even just read, thank you.
To "The Deepest Secret", thank you for keeping me honest. Your review, and subsequent PM way back when was such a boost. To know that my story feels "real" and "true" is everything I ask for as an author, and I'm glad I've been able to deliver that to you. So here's to no longer needing to wear down your refresh button.
To everyone else, I hope you enjoy part two of the journey I'm taking you down, and don't forget, that if you do like what you've read, leave a review at the end.
Much love, :) x
Nights turned into days. And days turned into nights. The sun rose and fell. Winter had set in with a lashing of fresh snow that coated the city of Chicago. The outside world kept moving, but inside the walls of Chicago Med, Erin Lindsay was sure time had stood still.
It had been three days since Jay Halstead had been shot. And Erin hadn't moved from his bedside. The bags under her eyes were darkening. Her hair starting to grease. But still, she refused to leave. Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, second after second, she sat in the lone chair, listening as an inhaling clunk was followed by exhaling whoosh that bounced and echoed around the sterile ICU room. She watched, almost eagle like, for any sign of Jay regaining consciousness. She willed him to wake. But her efforts were of no use. Jay remained comatose.
Sitting on the edge of Erin's sofa, a beer cradled in his hands, Jay watches as his partner walks back into her apartment after having spoken with Voight out in the hall. "Should I sneak out the fire escape?"
Laughing, Erin steps in close to Jay's frame, folding her arms across her chest. "I gotta go take care of something real quick. Thank you for being here, today was a rough one".
"You've been there for me before". Jay says, holding Erin's gaze.
On the cusp of saying something, Erin smiles a laughing smile.
And as Erin starts to head out, Jay calls out after her, "I might wait like five minutes before I leave".
"Sure". Giving Jay another smile, Erin picks up her jacket and walks from her apartment, letting the door click softly shut behind her.
Familiar voices carried down the hall, and when they were no longer a distant sound, Erin pulled her exhausted body from its slumped position in the chair that seemed to have moulded to her body, and turned towards the doorway.
"Any news?"
Antonio shook his head no, before nodding towards Jay, "How's he doing?"
"No change". Erin's voice cracked as she looked over her shoulder to her partner, giving his unresponsive body a tight smile. "How can Pollard still be in the wind?"
Behind her, Antonio and Ruzek shared a look. "He's not".
"You said"… Snapping her head back around, Erin furrowed her eyebrows, confused.
Ruzek shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Jay must have squeezed a round off before he was hit. After Pollard fled, he patched himself up, and went to ground. Yesterday, Mouse spotted him on a traffic cam breaking into a veterinary clinic that's been closed for a couple months, probably hoping to score something for the infection that's developed". The look on Erin's face had Ruzek feeling as though he needed to keep explaining himself. "He's under police security on the floor below, but he's not saying anything".
That got Erin out of the chair, her voice rising. "Jay's barely alive. How can Pollard not be talking?"
"Erin". Antonio's voice was cooling, calm.
Her façade broken, Erin collapsed into the chair. "He has to wake up, Antonio, he has too".
Walking over, Antonio placed a reassuring hand on Erin's shoulder, squeezing gently. "He will. But in the meantime, how 'bout I get the boys on the door to take you home. You need to sleep, you're not doing yourself any favours".
Erin, too exhausted to argue, just nodded. "Okay".
Taking down the headshots from their latest case, Jay turns when he hears Erin's voice.
"You think he understands where he's going?"
Looking at the headshot of their suspect, Jay mentions. "Mental health department can explain it to him. He's all there's until the trial".
"Let hope he does his time". Erin says, walking towards her desk.
"He'll do it". Jay notes. "If he knows where he's at while he's doing it, he's got better doctors than I do". Watching as Erin opens her desk drawer and pulls something out, Jay comments. "You can't stay away can you?"
"What?" Erin asks looking towards him. "I forgot something". Moving around her desk, Erin comments, "You did run out of here pretty quick when I told everyone I was taking the new gig".
"You wanted a goodbye hug".
Rolling her eyes and flicking a piece of hair out of her face, Erin tells him. "That's not what I'm saying".
"Hey, it's okay to admit you're losing sleep without a goodbye hug". Jay comically says.
As the two grin at each other, Jay gets up from the edge of his desk and walks over to her. "Come here". Wrapping her in a hug, the two hold onto each other tight. "I'm going to miss you".
Sliding the key into her apartment door, Erin pushed it open. The wood felt heavy against her weak limbs, and then cooling against her back when she slumped against it. Looking into the darkness of her apartment, Erin sighed heavily. The single heavy sigh was all it took for the tears she'd been pushing back to come to the forefront. Eyes prickling, heat rising, she slid to the floor, her vision blurring as her body wracked with a painful cry.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Erin glances over her shoulder as Jay walks in the breakroom. "So."
"So". Jay repeats, picking up a mug from the dishrack and holding it out so Erin can fill it.
Pouring the coffee into Jay's mug, Erin tells him. "So just because I'm back doesn't mean I want to quit me and you".
Looking over his shoulder, Jay turns back to Erin. "I don't know. I'm not really the sneak around behind dad's back kind of guy".
"Says the guy who works undercover". Erin comments with a wide grin.
With his own smile, Jay suggests. "Let's just come clean. Voight will respect us more if we look him in the eye".
"Or, we week our personal lives personal, it's nobody's business but ours".
Jay raises his eyebrows, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
A knock on the kitchen window breaks them apart, and they turn to listen to Ruzek. "Voight wants to move out".
"Yep, got it". Jay says all too quickly. With a nod, and a somewhat guilty smile, Erin starts to move from the room. "To be continued".
"Yep".
Time passed. She wasn't sure how long, and she didn't have the energy to care. It could have been minutes, hours or days.
Choking back a new onslaught of tears, Erin drew her knees up, hugging onto them tightly. She wasn't an overtly religious person, not since her days at St. Ignatius, but as she bowed her head, she said a prayer for her partner.
"Mary, full of grace, spiritual mother to those in need, I fervently request your heavenly intercession for Jay who is ill and seeks God's miraculous assistance. You truly care for the sick and offer them your compassionate support in powerful acts of healing.
Stay near to Jay with your maternal protection. Console our anxious hearts and grant that our physical and emotional sufferings be a source of purification and growth for eternal life. Amen".
Inhaling a lungful of air, Erin lifted her head and slowly exhaled. Finding strength she didn't know she could muster, Erin picked herself off of the ground, and with a tight smile, she reached into her jacket pocket. Pulling out her cell, Erin keyed in an all too familiar number as she started to make her way towards her bathroom.
"-You've reached Detective Jay Halstead. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I can"…
"So like you saw in the file, I've been Voight's C.I., so he knew me. And when I was sixteen him and his wife took me in. He saved me. Then he pulled some strings and got me into St. Ignatius, and when I got there I just made up who I was - Voight's goddaughter, staying with him while my parents were travelling".
"So you've always been good at undercover?" Jay asked with a coy smile.
With a laugh, Erin lifts her glass of whiskey to her lips. "If you mean lying, yeah". Jay's gently gaze bears deep as Erin takes a tip of her drink. "I was a street kid"… "So Steph and her crew pulled me into their clique. And pretty soon we were doing everything together – shopping, parties, all of it"… "Then somebody found out who I really was. You figure out who your real friends are pretty quick when the words out your mom's a junkie and your dad's in jail".
His eyes never leaving hers, Jay amusingly asks. "Whose ass you kick first?"
Erin shakes her head. "Voight had to make a deal with the director of the school to get me in. If I got in a fight, and threw even one punch, I was out. So I ate it, and it still bothers me, I don't know why. Even after days like today when you'd think everything would be put in perspective"… "I don't know".
Watching as Erin shrugs, Jay glances down to her hand, before taking it in his, gently squeezing.
Looking from their hands, to his gaze, Erin shakes her head with a smile. "We can't".
"Come on, let's get you home". Jay says, standing from the stool.
Grabbing her clutch, Erin stands, stepping into Jay's frame and looking up to him she says, "Maybe one day".
"Oh definitely".
Stepping back into the hospital room six hours after leaving, Erin greeted Ruzek. "Hey Adam".
"Lindsay". Closing the magazine he was only half interested in, Ruzek rose. "There's been no change. Will said he'd come in at midnight to check on things".
Looking over her shoulder to the wall clock by the nursing station, Erin noted the time, 11:26pm. "Okay".
With a squeeze of Erin's shoulder and what he hoped was a reassuring smile, Ruzek started to make his way from the room. Stopping at the door, Ruzek glanced back and watched as Erin dragged the only chair in close to Jay's bed and laced the fingers of one hand in with his, while the other lightly ran the length of his forearm. With a knowing smile, Ruzek lightly chuckled to himself before turning and walking down the empty corridor.
Playing with the fine arm hairs at Jay's wrist, Erin twirled them between her fingers. "As I was driving back here, I was thinking of the first time we met. I was not impressed".
With a whistle that echoed around the newly formed Intelligence unit, Antonio Dawson quickly gained everyone's attention. "Alright, listen up everyone".
Lifting her head from her computer, Erin noted the guy standing next to Antonio.
"This is Jay. He'll be part of the team come next week". Antonio started.
Stepping forward, Jay spoke up. "Jay Halstead. I've been working as an undercover for the last few years. In the Army before that".
Looking at him through squinted eyes, Erin internally groaned. The new guy seemed… cocky, too ambitious. She wasn't up for being paired with someone she couldn't trust, and she wasn't getting any trustworthy vibes of the guy.
"Erin Lindsay". She found herself saying as she extended an arm as she introduced herself. "Welcome to the team".
Looking out the window, Erin listened to the wind whisper and howl. She watched the shadows from the tree branches dance. And as a single snowflake fell against the glass, Erin swept the hair from Jay's face and watched as he finally opened his eyes.
So... Jay's awake, but is he out of the woods?
Let me know your thoughts.
PS. You all have no idea how many times I flipped between Jay living and dying.
PPS. I'm not a religious person, so I have no idea if I used to correct prayer. I googled it!
