Title: I FEEL YOUR PAIN
Pairing: Damon, Alaric, Stefan, Elena, Elijah, Jeremy, Bonnie
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Friendship, Romance
Summary: Set around 4x02. Damon is saying his goodbye to Alaric's grave, unaware that three pairs of ears are listening. Stefan can feel Damon's pain and he is afraid of losing him. Will he be able to save his brother with the help of a few friends? And can they bring a certain someone back to the living?
DISCLAIMER: I forgot to put this in the first chapter, so here it is now. I don't own Vampire Diaries. Or the lyrics of the song.
AN/ Hi! For this chapter I've decided to include the lyrics of one song that I thought fit perfectly. Keith Urban: Tonight I Wanna Cry
Chapter 2
For the next two weeks no one heard or seen Damon. Stefan was the only one who knew where his brother was, and that was only because one night, while he was looking for him, he saw him entering Alaric's apartment building, carrying a box. He suspected it was full of Bourbon bottles. He could still feel his brother's pain, and what worried him the most was, with every day that passed, the pain grew stronger. Sometimes, the pain was dulled, but that was thanks to the alcohol Damon consumed. Several days later, Stefan noticed that their blood supply they kept in the basement fridge was still untouched. Sighing, he took ten blood bags and headed toward Damon's hideout. He knocked, and a very drunk Damon, opened the door.
"What do you want, brother?"
"I brought you the blood. You can't live only on alcohol." Stefan answered, handing him the bag.
"Since when do you care what happens to me? You got what you always wanted. Elena, and me out of your life. Let's keep it that way, shall we?"
Stefan was taken aback by the pure hatred in Damon's voice and in his eyes. Tears threatened, but he bit them back. All he knew was he had to get through this thick wall Damon surrounded himself with.
"I don't want you out of my life, Damon. You are my brother."
Without any comment, Damon turned and sat on the sofa, continuing what he was doing. Drinking.
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
Stefan entered and sat beside him. Since he was never in Alaric's apartment before, he looked around. He was surprised to find most of the stuff that were from Damon's room in the Boarding House. Like two small nightstands that were usually by Damon's bed, now were by Alaric's. Lamps, decorative bowls, three paintings. And, those things actually seemed like they belong here. They fitted perfectly alongside the rest of the furniture. One part of the wall caught his attention. It was covered with pictures. Looking closer, he noticed those were the pictures of Damon and Alaric. Apparently, while they were looking for him while he was with Klaus, they also made memories. Memories of their time together. Seeing how happy they were on those pictures made Stefan even guiltier. He turned toward his brother.
"Damon, I know you're hurting and I want to help you. This has nothing to do with Elena. It's about you and me. I care about you, I love you. I can feel your pain and you can feel mine. You know I'm deeply sorry Alaric died, but drinking and hiding here in his apartment won't bring him back. Please let me in. Let me help you."
Damon didn't answer. Stefan sighed and walked toward the door. But just before he left, Damon's voice stopped him.
"There is nothing you can do to help. It's your fault he died. Just leave me alone and forget you have a brother." Damon said. In his perverse way, he wanted to hurt Stefan. Even though he actually didn't blame Stefan, well not completely. No, the real guilty one was the man he saw each time he looked in the mirror.
"I won't give up on you." Stefan said and closed the door behind him. It was then he let the tears down.
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
IFYP
More days passed. Elena was doing well with help from Caroline and Stefan. She learned to control the thirst and now she could even be around other people without vamping out. Jeremy was a great support whenever she would come home and cry herself to sleep. Her emotions were hirewire, and sometimes it was too much for her to handle.
She entered the Grill and gasped when her eyes landed on the seat at the bar that was now occupied. She hadn't seen him since that day in the morgue, and she wanted to talk to him. She was still confused why he was acting like this, why he went missing for so long, why he was pushing her and everyone else away. She tried to talk with Stefan, tried to find out where Damon was because she was certain he knew. But he didn't tell her. She remembered those two compulsions. They met first. Before the car accident with her parents. And she remembered what she told him over the phone on her way back to Mystic Falls.
BEGINNING OF THE FLASHBACK
"If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice of who got the goodbye…who would it be?"
"I love him, Damon. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone and I fell for him instantly. No matter what I feel for you, I never unfell for him."
"Oh, yeah, I get it. It's Stefan…it's always gonna be Stefan."
"I can't think about always. All I can think about is right now…and I care about you, Damon, which is why I have to let you go. I mean, maybe, if you and I met first…"
"Yeah, maybe…"
END OF THE FLASHBACK
He knew all along that they met first and didn't say a word. How must her words hurt him… And she didn't even know…
And then, there was another one.
BEGINNING OF THE FLASHBACK
"Cute PJ's."
"I'm tired, Damon."
"I brought you this." He said, and in his hand was her vervain necklace.
"I thought it was gone. Thank you." However, when she tried to catch it, he didn't allow it. "Please give it back."
"I just have to say something."
"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"
"Well, what I'm about to say is…probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life."
"Damon, don't go there." She sighed, knowing what he wanted to say.
"No. I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena, and it's because I love you, I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does." After a kiss on her forehead, he sighed. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this, but you do."
END OF THE FLASHBACK
Elena took a deep breath and walked toward Damon.
"That seat is taken." Damon said flatly, not even looking at her, and she barely recognized his voice.
"But there is no one sitting here." She said confused, when Damon abruptly looked at her with such hatred in his eyes, she actually took a step back. Then she remembered who used to sit here. She moved to the other side of Damon, and said firmly.
"Damon, we need to talk."
Damon didn't say a word, he just continued drinking and looking at the empty space. Elena suspected this was going to be difficult, but not this much.
"I remember everything." She watched Damon closely, looking for any indication he heard her. Finding none, she sighed and continued. "One of my highlights of my transition, remembering everything that you compelled me to forget. Like how you and I met first. You were the stranger that told me you wanted me to get everything I wanted from life. Damon, why didn't you tell me?"
"Would it have made a difference?" Damon asked, but she was certain his voice was emotionless.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
She didn't know why he was acting like this, what had she done wrong, so she said nothing.
"I didn't think so. Are we done here? By the way, that's not all you remember." Damon said, then stood up and walked away.
It took her a few moments to recover from the shock. First, it was the way he spoke to her. So cold and distant. And the second, his eyes. It was the first time she saw his, usually, warm blue eyes lifeless, dull, without any trace of light and warmth. If she didn't know better, she would think he switched off his emotions. 'But that can't be it, could it?' She thought, then ran after him.
"Damon! Wait! What's going on? Why are you like this?" She asked, catching up with him by his car.
"Leave me alone!" He warned, not turning back.
"Damon? Please talk to me! What ever it is, we'll work it over. But please don't shut me out." Elena pleaded, and tried to touch him so that he would look at her.
Big mistake. She felt him flinch as if he was burned by vervain. However, she regretted her wish as soon as he turned. There it was. The hatred in his eyes. But, this time, he seemed more violent. Her eyes widened in fear when he spoke.
"Don't ever touch me again! Leave me the hell alone!"
"Brother. Calm down." Stefan said calmly, but he was anything but.
He and Caroline had just arrived and could hear the conversation between Damon and Elena. He was surprised to hear Damon met Elena first. He wondered what was the other memory she got. Although he had his suspicion. He was standing one step away from his brother, and the emotion waves he was receiving almost crippled him. This was the first time he wished they didn't have that kind of bond. It was too much. And Elena didn't help one bit.
"Stefan, I would advise you to keep her away from me, otherwise I won't be responsible for my actions." Damon said, opening the door of his car.
"Damon? I'm Elena. Not Katherine." Elena said, thinking that now, that she didn't have a pulse, he thought she was actually Katherine.
"I know very well who you are, Elena. Leave me the hell alone." He said and drove off.
Elena turned toward Stefan and asked. "Stefan? What's wrong with him? Why did he act like this? Did he switch off his emotions? If he did, why? What happened?"
"I'm sorry, Elena, but I can't tell you. However, he didn't switch them off, that much is certain."
"What? Why can't you tell me? Please Stefan? He needs our help!"
"I'm sorry. I can't. And trust me, it's for the best to keep away from him right now." Stefan answered. No, he couldn't betray his brother's trust.
"You don't think he would actually hurt Elena?" Caroline asked, appalled. She was also worried. Not even in his worst, Damon never lashed out at Elena like that.
"I don't know." Stefan confessed. "But you better stay away from him." He added then went after his brother.
AN/ That's all for this chapter. I'm sorry if it is too short but I had to stop here. Next; the memorial, slightly changed. The truth will come out.
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