If It Hadn't Been For Love
'Love hurts you,
deserts you,
But we still come back for more
Why do we fall?'
Rise And Shine
Liv pulled the covers back letting out a frustrated scream. It was 6.30am and she'd only managed to get about 3 hours of sleep and even that was restless.
She couldn't take her mind off last night, couldn't take her mind off Happy. Nine years had past, nine years since she had seen him, talked to him and now, last night she had been face to face with him.
She had thought about the day she would see him again, and she had a whole speech planned out in her head. But never planned for what happened last night.
Pulling the covers back over her head she let out another frustrated scream. No longer able to stay in bed she headed for a shower hoping that it might help her clear her head.
Turning the shower off as it wasn't helping her like she'd hope, she decided to do some cleaning, hoping that would maybe take her mind off things. Stepping out of the shower she wrapped one towel around her body and another one around her hair. Walking back into her room, she pulled out a loose white fitted tank top, a pair of light wash denim cut offs, a red lacy bra, and a black pair of boy shorts. Liv had never really been one for matching underwear, as long as it was clean that was good enough for her.
After getting changed she towel dried her hair, letting her natural wave come out before walking to the kitchen to start her cleaning.
An hour and a half later, she stepped back using her forearm to wipe her forehead of the beads of sweat she had worked up, as she admired her handy work. The place was sparkling. She'd clean every square inch, and was proud of her hard work.
Liv was about to start on the front room when she heard someone knocking on her front door. Liv froze until she heard the voice on the other side.
"Open up." The voice that did not belong to Happy bellowed from the other side.
As glad as she was that it wasn't Happy she really wasn't in the mood for Darby. Walking over she unlocked the door and opened it. On the other side Darby was smiling smugly at her, but Liv's eyes fell onto the guy standing on Darby's left. Danny. His blondie brown hair was slicked back. He wore a black shirt that was unbuttoned halfway, revealing some Nord related ink, as well as the other ink down his arms. He was about 5'11 and well built. It was a wonder that Jessica ever made it out alive sometimes, he was probably double her size it would never be a fair fight. Liv felt sick just looking at him.
"Nice gloves." Darby remarked eyeing up the pink rubber gloves she was wearing.
"What can I do for you Darby?" She asked as she removed her gloves and walked back into her small apartment, leaving the door open for them to follow her inside.
"Well you can start by explaining to me what the hell went down in my club last night." He said as he casually took a seat at her tiny kitchen table.
"Not sure really fight kicked off I guess." She shrugged. Darby didn't miss the fact that she didn't look at him. Darby looked over at Danny giving him the go ahead.
Before she realised what was happening Danny had hold of her arm as he slammed her back against the wall that separated the kitchen. She winced in pain, which she hated herself for because she hated showing weakness especially in front of someone like Danny. She hated giving him the satisfaction. As she tried to catch her breath Danny grabbed her buy her jaw.
"You told me this wasn't going to be a problem, told me it wasn't going to cause me any trouble." Darby said as he leant back on his chair. Watching in delight as Liv tried to struggle against Danny's hold.
"It won't..." Darby let out a laugh but Liv knew there was nothing funny about what she had said. Her eyes caught his as he got to his feet.
"Well Danny here told me that several members of Samcro were thrown out of my club. So are you really telling me that has nothing to do with you."
"I'm sorry." She said trying to keep her voice steady. "I'll sort it, it won't happen again." Danny ran his hand down the column of her throat, pressing his thumb hard against her windpipe as the rest of his hand clasedp around her neck. She gasped for breath.
"Good. Because next time we have to have this conversation i'm gonna let Danny have a little fun." Liv's eyes darted from Darby to Danny who had a shit eating grin on his face making her sick to her stomach. "Understand?" Liv nodded. "Good. Danny."
Danny squeezed his hand tightly around her neck and arm, smiling when he saw hers eyes glazed over with tears as she struggled for breath.
"Enough." Darby pulled the younger man away from her. "I'll meet you downstairs." Darby told him firmly leaving no room for argument.
When Danny left Darby turned his attention back onto Liv, who now had her own hand wrapped around her throat as she took some deep breaths. He grinned to himself before turning his attention onto her small apartment.
"He's not here." He looked back at her raising his eyebrows. "He's not, I promise."
"Right well when he does come home tell him to call me." She nodded her head. "Oh and Liv don't let me down or I won't just be letting Danny lose on you." He threatened before leaving her all alone.
As soon as he closed the door she ran over and locked it before she slid down the door and landed in a heap on the floor.
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Happy opened his heavy eyes only to close them straight away when the rays of sunlight burned his pupils. Turning his tired body away from the light he leant on his side, rubbing his eyes before finally opening them. He was instantly hit with a pounding in the back of his head, the after effects of his drinking last night.
Rubbing his hand over his shaved his head his eyes roamed over the sweetbutt lying next to him. She was lying on her front her back exposed as the sheet just about covered her bare ass. Her long tatty brown hair sprawled across the pillow. As his eyes moved to her wrist he noticed the little finger marks, a reminder of just how rough he had been with her last night.
As his mind wondered back to last night he grabbed a cigarette from the bedside table. Inhaling deeply he hoped the nicotine would calm him.
He couldn't believe that she was here in Charming, but worst of all she was dancing for Darby, that thought caused a tightening in his chest. What the fuck was she doing there.
He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a finger nail glide down his ink covered arm.
"Morning Baby you..."
"Get out" He ordered coldly, taking another long drag of his cigarette.
"But I though..."
She stopped talking when Happy turneed to face her, his dark cold eyes boring down on her. She climbed out of the bed, cursing underneath her breath as she quickly picked up her clothes that were scattered across the room. Getting dressed she took one last look at the Tacoma killers bare ass as he walked into the bathroom. Although she was gutted that she didn't get to share in some morning glory with him she was more than satisfied with the two rounds they shared last night, it was everything she had hoped for and more. Smiling to herself she left his room.
Happy stepped under the hot running water, and once again his mind strayed back to Liv. Her hair was a little blonder but apart from that she was still the same as when he had last seen her nine years ago. How could he have missed her, she'd been right under his nose for god knows how long and then suddenly he remembered something that sent his blood cold.
Abruptly cutting the shower off he stepped out and quickly dried himself, before pulling on a pair of dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt finishing it with his leather cut. Grabbing his cigarettes and wallet off the bedside table.
As he shut the door behind him he saw Tig walking towards him.
"Just coming to get you." Happy just looked at Tig blankly. "Clay's called church in 10." Happy nodded his head. "You al'right brother?"
"Fine." He pushed his way past Tig without saying another word.
As he walked into the bar he saw Bobby sitting in his usual spot with his head buried in the morning newspaper. Kyle and Opie were playing pool, while Jax was sat on the battered leather couch with Chibs, they looked like two women gossiping. His eyes lingered on the two of them. Chibs diverted his gaze, but Jax stared back at him. It was obvious to Happy that they had been discussing last nights events and that pissed him off, but what annoyed him more was the fact that they were probably discussing Liv and she was none of their business.
Turning away from the pair he took a seat at the bar. "Coffee?" He barked at Juice who was standing on the other side. Juice returned a minute later with Happy's coffee, made just the way he liked it. Strong, black 2 sugars.
Happy looked over his shoulder and sure enough Jax was still looking at him. And he knew that he was probably going to try and goad him into telling him what had happened. However no one got a chance to react as Clay walked into the clubhouse.
"Church." He said as he walked over to the double doors in front of him. Everybody stopped what they were doing and followed their President inside.
Once everyone was seated Clay began. "Right nothing serious just want to get a few things sorted before we leave. Bobby how's the pot looking?"
"Good we have enough to cover us for a couple months."
"And the Niners?" Clay asked looking over at his VP on his left.
"Meet is all sorted for when we get back from Tacoma."
"Good. Want to thank Ope, Piney and Chibs for hanging back and keeping eye on the garage while were away for a few days. Appreciate it. We'll leave you the prospect use him how you like. So is that everything, no one has anything else they wanna discuss?" Happy didn't need to look up to know that Clay was looking at him, he could feel his eyes burning into him. Happy shook his head. The pretty boy had gone running to Daddy, no surprise there. When Clay with met with silence. " He hit the gravel and everyone left the room."Everyone be ready to leave in 20.
Happy went back to his coffee at the bar, he watched as everyone seemed to give him a wide birth. He looked over his shoulder and saw Jax and Clay heading outside. Happy cursed he knew they were probably going to have a private discussion about him. God he couldn't wait to get out of here and back to Tacoma, although once word got around he knew he would face more than stares from his brothers he would be bombarded with questions, and they were the only ones who knew exactly what questions to ask. But first Koz would have to answer a few of his own.
Happy pushed himself away from the bar, his stool scrapping across the floor in the almost silent clubhouse. He couldn't sit there any longer thinking about all of that shit he needed to do something so he headed outside.
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After 20 minutes of sitting in a crumpled mess on the floor she finally found the strength to get to her feet. She knew sitting around was not going to get her anywhere she needed to sort this mess out not just for her own safety but Tyler's aswell. So as much as she didn't want to do this, didn't want to go there she knew she didn't really have a choice. She pulled on her brown cowboy boots and grabbed her purse off the couch and left her apartment.
Liv pulled her dusty Red 1985 Chevy Truck into Teller/Morrow she felt her stomach flip. And she gripped the steering wheel tighter when she felt her hands start to shake. Taking a moment to compose herself, she grabbed her bag off the passenger seat before finally opening the drivers side door and getting out.
Her eyes wandered around the lot, it sent a familiar feeling through her body as it reminded her of the only home she'd ever really known.
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Happy came to an abrupt halt when he walked out of the clubhouse. Happy stared at her just like he had last night because he was doubting his eyes. After looking for her for so long and coming up with nothing, even mistaking complete strangers for her, just like last night he found it hard to believe that he was actually seeing her. Well that was until she turned around, moving her blonde hair from around her face and her green eyes locked with his, then he knew she was real.
Locking eyes with she wanted nothing more than to crawl back into her truck and drive far far away but as he started to advance towards her she knew that was no longer an option.
He was now just a few steps away from her and as he took the few steps her mind went completely blank, her mouth went dry and her hands were shaking again.
Happy first thought was to stand his ground, make her come to him for once but like always all logical thoughts went out of mind and curiosity got the better of him, his feet were moving before he had chance to rethink himself.
As the breeze blew between them he caught her scent. The scent that he hadn't smelt in years, it was a scent he had missed deeply, although he would never admit it.
###############
"Any word from Darby?" Jax asked as he lent against the filing cabinet in the garage office.
"Nothing. Maybe it was nothing, maybe just a broad he slept with, or someone who screwed him over." Clay tried to reason. When Jax had approached with this Clay cursed, the Club already had enough shit to deal with they didn't need any personal shit as well. He didn't need his men distracted, so if nothing came from this, if Darby kept quiet then Clay was more than willing to turn a blind eye to last nights dramatics.
"I don't know Clay." He pushed himself away from the cabnet. "You didn't see him. I've seen Hap do some pretty fucked up shit but never have I seen him lose control like he did last night." Jax walked over to the door and thats when he saw the stripper and Happy. "And if she's no one then what the hell is she doing here?" Jax asked looking back over his shoulder.
Clay walked over to Jax and looked out the door. "That the stripper?"
"Yeah."
"Pretty."
"I'm telling ya man, this shit ain't gonna end well."
"We're heading out for a few days maybe we talk to a couple guys in Tacoma see if he has any info on this chick. But keep it subtle, last thing we want is Hap knowing we've been digging into his shit. We don't wanna be pissing off the Tacoma Killa."
"Okay. I'll ask Koz." Clay raised an eyebrow. "Think he might know her to."
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"Not here." Happy snapped as he saw she was about to open her mouth. He knew there were to many prying eyes around, and a quick glance to his left confirmed that when he saw Clay and Jax in the garage office clearly watching the two of them.
He made his way towards the clubhouse as was about to walk inside when he realised that she wasn't behind him. Turning back on himself he saw her standing there, nervously playing with the hem of her top.
"Hey." He called over to her cocking his head to the door behind him. He watched as her head snapped up, obviously disturbing her from whatever it was she was thinking about. He watched her hesitate before her legs, her little chicken legs moved her towards him. Happy almost smiled at the memory.
She followed him into the bar completely ignoring the looks she had gained from the people inside. She didn't care who any of them were or what they were thinking all she wanted to do was get this over and done with.
