Enjoy
Carlisle was minding his own business in his study, when suddenly, his family(including Jacob) barged in.
"Yes," he said, looking up from a notepad he was writing on about how to cure the darn swine flu.
"Oh my Carlisle, Carlisle's writing!" said Esme, grinning like a two year old who's swearing.
"Uhh.. what?"
"Oh my Carlisle, he doesn't know what 'Oh my Carlisle' means!" squealed Bella, getting a high five from Alice.
"Then let's Carlisling tell him," said Renesmee, smirking.
"It's a replacement for swearing so we can do this parody kid appropriate," explained Jacob. 'Like 'what the Carlisle', 'how the Carlisle', 'Oh myCarlisle', and my favorite, 'Stop being a Carlisle'."
Okay, that last one was insulting to Carlisles everywhere, thought Carlisle angrily.
"Look, that Carlisling Carlisle is Carlisling about to break a Carisling vein in his Carlisling forehead like Carlisling anime characters!" said Jasper, laughing his head off, which was very unusual indeed.
"Okay, guys, stop now," said Carlisle.
"Why the Carlisling Carlisle should we?" said Emmett. "I Carlisling like using Carlisle."
"Well, I don't like it," he said, growing angrier. "Stop it or-"
"OH MY CARLISLE, CARLISLE IS ABOUT TO KILL USS!!!" screamed Alice.
"ALRIGHT THAT IS IT!" yelled Carlisle, attacking his family. "YAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
And the rest is to violent to put to keep a K+, T or even a M rating...
So this is THE END
