Author's Note: Hellsing is owned by Kouta Hirano. Applaud him for the characters and applaud me for the comedy (if there's any suited for you). I know you probably expected I was going to do Seras, but I'm moving up to Pip, because his undies were turned into a burrito.


NARRATOR MADNESS

Pip's Chapter

"Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo" -Pip said, as he was showering.- "I-m-go-nna-fawk-ya-like-an-animal. La La- La La- La La- La La- Laaaaa"

-His Tune Fades and a squeak from the handle is heard-

Pip dries himself and looks for his clothing. "Wha? Did I forget my underwear?"

Captain Pip Bernadotte.

His underwear is missing.

"Well THANK YOU for pointing out that out, captain obvious."-Pip.

Captain Pip Bernadotte.

He will begin to make himself his own underwear, now that it was consumed by Seras as a special burrito.

"That does NOT make ANY sense!"-Pip said to the roof. -"First of all, I DON'T KNOW how to make underwear, and second, I seriously doubt Seras would do such a thing!"

-No Response-

"Helloooo?"-Pip stopped looking at the roof.-"I should start laying off the Sherry brand wine"

Captain Pip Bernadotte.

"Or Maybe it isn't Sherry."

He isn't just the captain of the Wild Geese. He is also the captain of the Wild Buffalo, the Wild Buffalo Wings and his favorite...

The Wild Pet Walrus.

"Are you insaaane?? I'm only the captain of the WILD GEESE!!"- Pip.

-No Response-

"Fuck" -Pip said in anger.- "I need to find some underwear."

-He exits with a hat covering his crotch-

"I gotta find one quick!"-Pip.

Captain Pip Bernadotte.

"Here we go again."-Pip said and then stopped.

He is covering his crotch with Alucard's favorite, legendary red hat.

"No I'm no-" -Pip looked down and it turned out to be true- "AAAAH!!"

"What's going on?"-Alucard said, entering the scene.

Captain Pip Bernadotte.

Seriously cannot explain himself

...and is completely fucked up.

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.

"You sick BASTARD!" -Alucard pulled out his gun and aimed at his crotch with the hat over it- "You did this to yourself with MY Hat?!"

"No-No! I can explain!-" -Pip ran away- "CHANGE EVERYTHING NARRATOR!"

-No Response-

"Are you serious?!"-Pip continued to run away as Alucard was chasing him with a gun.

"You won't hide-!!!"- Alucard.

...Captain Pip Bernadotte.

Pip found himself in a dead end-"Please!! Change this!!"

Is now traveling through dimensions and is currently stuck in a universe in which it is illegal to wear an eye patch.

"GOD DAMN IT!!!"-Pip.


R&R