The spacious ambassador's office seemed confining. Kaidan and Shepard refused to sit. They kept their eyes focused on the door more that each other. The table between them was a reminder of the barrier halting what seemed to be such a promising relationship at the start.
"Come on Kaidan, tell me what's really happening. There's more to this incident and you know it." Shepard powered down her Omni-tool. It wasn't providing her with any useful information.
"I'd like too, Shepard. Really I would, but you no longer have clearance to received such sensitive. . ." Kaidan said looking at the datapad avoiding her gaze.
"So, I'm the enemy." She shook her head in unbelief. "Tell me what the Alliance expects from me so we can wrap up this meeting ASAP." Shepard knew if she hurried she might be able to catch Garrus before he left the Normandy to meet his contact on the Citadel. She didn't want him worrying all day about this meeting.
"You're not my enemy." He finally acknowledged her with a look.
"If the Alliance doesn't trust my motives, then why come to me at all?" Shepard shifted back and forth. "This can't be official. Why did they send you?"
"Admiral, thought I might have influence with you." Kaidan stared back down at the datapad. "Guess intel was wrong on that one. I volunteered to bring the offer to you."
Kaidan brought up a vid on the datapad. Too grainy to decipher what happened. "We can't get anyone down there to find out what's going on." " A Spectre can find out what we can't."
"Petition the Council and let them assign you a spectre to investigate the problem."
"Parasini asked for you specifically." He handed over the datapad to her.
Shepard scanned through the information. Noveria. A new company had taken root there within. No information on who the true owners were. A few ships carrying cargo to Noveria never made the trip home. Another well connected Asari's sister was onboard. Now missing. Recording of distress signal coming from the surface Noveria. Then in less than a day nothing. Only ship with cargo that made it out Batarian slaver ship "Interesting."
"You're not going to ask me to join you this time."
"No, why would I? . . .considering Horizon went so well." She shut down the datapad and tossed it onto the table. "Why didn't you come with us. When I asked Garrus to join me on a suicide mission," Shepard stepped back from Kaidan hugging herself. Garrus smiled. . . I think he smiled. . . maybe I saw what I wanted to see. She brought herself to finally look Kaidan in his gorgeous doe eyes. "Garrus told me it would be like old times."
"Kasumi mentioned that you and Garrus had gotten close."
Was he fishing for information? Did he know about Garrus? Why would he come if he did?
Shepard finally spoke. "Really?"
"Garrus has always been a action junkie"
"There's more to him." Shepard added. Kaidan's eyes hardened. Maybe she spoke up too soon.
"Really, a turian." Kaidan said. "He always seemed to be the 'Let's massacre everyone for the good of the galaxy type' ."
"Shut up Kaidan. You never took the time to really get to know him. "
"No, maybe not. I never had the desire to fuck a turian"
Shepard closed the gap between herself and Kaidan so quickly that he had to block her attack with his forearms.
"What are you doing?" He said restraining her the best he could.
Shepard shook herself loose from his grasp. "Forward what info is declassified to me. I'll review it and decided if this is something I want to get my team involved with." Shepard stormed towards the door as fast as she could in full armor. "This meeting is over." She said without looking back.
"There was a time when I was a vital member of your team."
Shepard halted mid-step. Her head told her to keep walking. But this was personal so she went back. "I recall inviting you to be a part of the team."
"I had responsibilities that I couldn't just abandon. Not even for you."
"You're a top-notch soldier, Alenko, but you blow varren poo as a boyfriend."
He stood there.
And laughed.
And it infuriated Shepard more.
"You do care." His stance soften however he still approached cautiously. "I'm here now."
"It no longer matters. I died, woke up and you rejected me. That night after Horizon, I wanted to die again."
"Not fair, Shepard"
"I sat night after night staring at a picture of you. I'd have a stiff drink. I'd ball up in a knot and cry my self to sleep after things got fuzzy enough. Waking up the next day to be the legendary commander Shepard, Savior of the Citadel."
She found herself moving closer to him. Searching for a trace of the man who came to her that night before Ilos. Battles had changed them both. "You were so full of disgust that day. I was so relieved that you weren't taken by the Collectors. I fell into your arms thinking that working with Cerberus was worth it because it brought me back to you." She allowed him to hold her. No comfort was found in his embrace. Was he always this stiff? "You were so cold." She continued. "and I stood there unable to put a coherent sentence together.
"I tried to apologized for that in my email." Shepard shut him up with a kiss. A kiss to end the wondering. Kaidan was always an excellent kisser. Part of Shepard hope it would spark something more. But this was a kiss goodbye. Nothing more. The woman who cared so much for you no longer exists.
"Okay, fine." Shepard contacted him back soon after his email. They continued the correspondence a few more times until she no longer saw the point. He had no intention of joining her team. She backed herself out of his arms. "But you weren't willing to die on a suicide mission with me."
"Stop this Shepard. You know I love you."
"Maybe, I want someone to love me enough to put me before duty. I need someone to take care of me for a change."
"And nothing says I kill to protect you until the day I die like a turian."
"Kaidan, I was in pain. One day, I came out of my daze long enough to realized that Garrus was in pain, too."
"Neither one of us has been faithful to the other"
How ironic it is that she and Garrus first teamed up in Dr. Michel's office. "I'm not as helpless as Dr. Mouse, but I need to be taken care of too. I feel loss. I have regret. I'm just a woman. If she's the kind of woman you'd turn to after I died, then I was never the woman for you."
"Chloe doesn't matter."
"Does she know that?"
"I'm still having a difficult time processing that you died and was reconstructed by terrorists."
"The illusive man respected me because I get the job done. Period. He didn't like my methods. He didn't like all my team members, but as long as he allowed me to do the job my way. The arrangement works. I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for Liara and Cerberus. You wouldn't be here now if my team hadn't showed up on Horizon that day."
"Is that why you are pushing me away?"
"Too many years have past. You moved on maybe I did too."
"You are not telling me that you love Garrus now."
She stared at him. Sucking cool air into her lungs and whispered. "Yes."
There it was said. What she needed to say. She could look at him any more. Walk away Shepard. The balcony provided an escape. Hopefully, he would get the hint and leave.
"I'll forward what I can to Miranda." She felt Kaidan coming closer. But she was still shocked and jumped back into him when he put his arm knowingly around her waist.
His lips brushed softly against her earlobe as he spoke, "I'm not giving up on us, Shepard."
