Has it really been a month since I posted this? Yeesh. I'm sorry for keeping you all waiting. ._. But I have two or three more chapters besides this one already written, so the updates hopefully won't take too long anymore. :)
WARNING: Slash and heavily implied sexual content.
Pairing: Wade BarrettxJohn Cena, or Jade.
Disclaimer: I don't own WWE, obviously. If I did, Wade Barrett would be World Heavyweight Champion by now, ha ha. ;)
Genre: Romance/Angst
Theme #16: Questioning
He always wondered... But he knew that he could never ask.
John Cena was in Nexus at this point, at Wade Barrett's mercy. He was Wade's slave, to be honest, not a member of the faction. Most of the others- the real members- would laugh when Wade tortured him. When he splashed water in John's face, when he screamed at John and told him he was useless, they would just sit there and laugh. Laugh at his misery, laugh at his pain, like a bunch of heartless slave owners.
One or two of them showed remorse, but they never spoke up and told Wade to treat John better. Maybe they were afraid of him, maybe they were afraid of being kicked out of Nexus... Maybe they just wanted to fit in, like Nexus were the popular kids and WWE was high school all over again. Or maybe, deep down, they just didn't care about John enough to say anything.
It was like being in a clique when you weren't wanted, and obviously, John didn't feel very wanted. So he couldn't help but question... He couldn't help but wonder...
But he never dared to ask.
There were other times when John let himself wonder. When he was alone in his hotel room at night, when he was at his most vulnerable. When it was night, but he couldn't sleep because he couldn't stop thinking: of Wade and Nexus, of Nexus and Wade, of everything.
That was when Wade would knock on his door.
John would open the door, look at his "leader" and try not to snear. "Yes?" he would ask, when he really wanted to say What the fuck do you want, Barrett?
And he would push past John, shut the door, and smirk at the American. "You know what I want, Cena."
"I like to pretend you're coming in here for something different," John responded, "It makes things a little more exciting. Less predictable."
And Wade would grab John and press their lips together... And what could John do but comply? If he denied Wade, he'd be out of a job, and he would rather die than leave WWE. So, he let the bigger man lay him down on the bed.
Half an hour. Half an hour of screaming and moaning and thrusting. Thirty minutes, sometimes more, but never less. Sometimes more than once. And throughout it all, John can't help but wonder... he can't can't help but think...
This night was different. Usually, Wade would have left afterwards without a word- just one smirk directed at John. But this time, as Wade was leaving, John called out to him.
"Wait."
Wade turned around, sighed. "What?"
"I... I have a question." I can't help but question...
"Yes?"
John took a deep breath. "Why do you keep me around?"
Wade looked at him as if he'd just asked what color the sky was. "For sex, mostly."
"Why?" John continued to ask, "Why use me for sex if you hate me?"
The Brit rolled his eyes. "Hate and lust happen to co-exist quite often. Just because we do this doesn't mean I have to care about you, if that's what you were wondering."
He was quiet.
"Why are you asking me now? Why haven't you asked before?"
"It's nothing," John replied, looking away from him. "It doesn't matter." He still lay down on the bed, on the slightly wet sheets, while Wade was about to head out the door.
There was another long pause- Wade was staring at him, and John didn't know why.
"I have a question for you, Cena. Do you care?"
John blinked. "Care about...?"
"Do you care if I care? Do you care if I have sex with you, or if I have feelings for you at all?"
John looked away, clenching his teeth, biting his tongue, holding it all back. No more questions, no more answers, take it all away...
Wade raised and eyebrow, and his jaw dropped. He smiled. "Are you serious?"
John didn't say anything- his silence was all the answer Wade needed. "Are you serious, Cena?" he asked again, "You actually give a damn?"
The Brit burst out laughing, approaching John with a haughty sense of accomplishment. "You've fallen for me."
It wasn't a question, so it got no answer.
Wade laughed, not seeing the tears in the smaller man's eyes, not knowing that John's heart was beating a mile a minute. "This is just too hilarious! You've actually fallen for me!"
John's hands were shaking- he wanted to curl up in a ball and die.
"Does it kill you inside, Cena? That's what I'm wondering. Does it kill you that I don't give a damn about you?"
No answer. There was almost a tear, but John held it back. He wouldn't dare to show any more weakness, not in front of this man who clearly wouldn't care. Wade left the room, still laughing. He slammed the door behind him. John punched the headboard, leaving a dent, hating himself down to his very core.
No wonder they say ignorance is bliss.
Hope you enjoyed it. :) The next theme will be up soon. Please leave a review!
