Muahahahahaha! I am trying to be more active, so spare me, please! Also, no idea what I should call Lance's mp3 so imma just call it an iPod because why not… wait can I get sued for doing that? Sure hope not… oh yeah. Disclaimer: Y'all know I don't own Voltron, so get on with the chapter!
WARNING: CONTAINS SELF-HARM
Defective: Landmine
Lance shot up out of his bed, gasping for breath and drenched in a cold sweat. Another night cycle, another nightmare, no biggie. That is how it's been for the past three months. The three months since he'd been rescued. It's been a month since he found out what Haggar did to him, though. He took off his headphones and set them down, but he turned the volume up so it could be heard throughout his room. This… is how he coped. His phobia list was moderately long, and some were pretty stupid. 'Weak,'he thought to himself,'I'm so weak. If they found out…'he shook his head ferociously, expelling whatever terrible thoughts were trying to creep into his head. He went to the bathroom to complete his daily routine, which included covering up the dark circles under his eyes, music still playing in the background.
"Lance, buddy, you in there?" Hunk knocked. "Allura is holding an important meeting in a few ticks and wants everyone to be there."
"Yeah, gotcha bud. I'll be there in a few." Lance called from the bathroom. Glad he's back to normal, Hunk thought.
Dressed in his usual attire, Lance picked up his iPod and looked at all the important dates, like his little brother's birthday. Athazagoraphobia: the fear of forgetting or being forgotten. One of the many phobias on his list. He checked the date: xx/xx/xxxx.
Lance POV:
Woah. Today is my birthday. Who knew? I could feel a genuine smile creeping onto my face, not some shitty fake one. "I've got a good feeling about today," I said out loud. It felt somewhat reassuring. Too bad I have to pause the music…
I steeled my nerves, paused the music, and ran straight to the meeting like my life depended on it. Monophobia: The fear of being alone.I slowed to a fast walk so that I didn't look crazy. Even though I probably am, but that's beside the point. I threw on my smiling mask and walked in. "Hey guys, whats up?"
No one's POV:
Lance sat down in the free seat and looked around, then focused his gaze onto Princess Allura.
"Some of you have noticed that Coran and I seem… put off on this specific date." Allura's gaze wandered towards Shiro, the team Daddy, then she continued, "It is because today marks the day Altea fell." Boom. Lance's smile fell, or, more accurately, his mask shattered. He blinked once, twice, three times, and fell out of his chair, drawing all eyes to him. Said eyes widened in the silent room when he mumbled, "Well, doesn't that add onto the shit pile I call life." He got up and paled when he found everyone staring at him in shock. No one had ever heard Lance swear in his life, hell, no one even knew he knew words like that. Looks like the ones they were giving Lance were extremely unsettling for him. "Damn, d-did I, um… fuck..." 'STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!' "Ah… c-could you all just..." His hands were slowly curling into fists. "DAMN IT! FUCKING STOP IT! STOP STARING AT ME!" Lance shouted, fists at his sides, a few tears rolling down his cheeks, before he bolted out of the room and made a beeline for his room. "Lance!" "Hold up, dude!" "Buddy, what's wrong?" "Lance, please come back!" Ignore them. Ignore them. It felt like he had been running forever before he got to his paradise and locked the door.
'Grab the iPod. Put on the headphones. Lower volume. Hit play. Pull out your pocket knife. Roll up your sleeve.' Bang bang. "Lance, please, open up the door! We just want to talk!" It was Allura. "Go away, I don't need to talk to anyone right now." Lance mumbled back, just loud enough for everyone to hear. "Oh for the love of… Lance, you can't hide yourself and hope we'll forget what happened. You know we won't. Please, just come out so we can talk." It was Keith. "No thanks, I'm fine." Lance used the same mumble as before. 'Don't scream, you wimp. Don't whimper. Nothing. This is what you get for being weak.' What his mind was telling him chilled him to the bone, it was like there was a totally different person in his head. Images of Haggar flashed in his mind. 'Oh god, no. No nope soooo much nope, get out, pack your bags and go and get the fuck OUT! NOBODY LOVES YOUR WRINKLY ASS!' The pocket knife Lance was holding swiftly cut through his skin and flesh each time, leaving multiple bleeding cuts behind. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks. 'What am I doing?' Another cut. 'I'm supposed to be the cocky, funny Paladin.' Two more. 'No, why am I doing this? They could easily replace me with someone else. Blue is totally accepting of new pilots...' Seven is the lucky number. 'That's what I am. I'm not strong like Keith, or a tech freak like Pidge and Hunk, I'm not an amazing chef, I can't control the castle, I'm not a great team leader like Shiro, hell, I don't even think I'm a good teammate.' Or was the number eleven? Eh, have both just in case…
Lance curled up on himself and cried, not caring about how loud he was, or that his blood was dripping onto the floor and soaking into his jacket and jeans. However, he should have cared about a small stream of his blood that silently flowed underneath his door. He should have cared that his team was still out there. He should have cared about the surprised shouts of his friends. So… sleepy. Why was he so tired? Falling, falling, falling, BLACK.
Bloopers: Lance shot up out of his bread, (…) drenched in a cold sweet. (…) creep into his heaf. (…), but that's beside the paont. (…). He blanked once, (…) Rool up your sleeve. (…) in his hed. (…) 'What am I dong?'
Aaaaagh, I want to give Lance so many hugs right now. I love him, but I put him through pain… argh, kill me ;-;
So that was 'Landmine'. Yep. Hehehehe. Soooo, review, follow and favorite? If you want, ya know.
So, I'd like to ask all those professional artists out there… what app do you paint with?
Next chapter: Bang bang! ...Crash
