A/N: I'm currently most of the way through chapter 3, and it's looking likely I'll keep up with updates quite easily for now. If I do happen to write more chapters in advance, I'll probably keep at least two in reserve in case I'm unable to write for whatever reason. If, and this is a big if, I get any further ahead of that then I'll make bonus updates. So, tentative update schedule is main updates on Wednesday (AKA my only day off work), and bonus updates on Saturday if I have one.
Also a quick note, I have gone back and changed a couple of lines in chapter 1, but don't worry, I don't expect you to go back and re-read it. It's just simply to say that it's been two years since the original singing contest, to give the story a bit of perspective time-wise.
And with all of that, I hope you continue to enjoy!
Thump.
This seemed easier the first time.
Thump.
This just wasn't working.
Thump.
He just wasn't able to learn this way.
Thump.
The piano, car repairs, getaway driving, even school work, damn how he missed school work compared to this.
Thump.
Everything Johnny had ever learned was technical. Granted, playing the piano also required an emotional element, but there was still a technical aspect behind how to press harder or softer on the keys, when to play faster and slower, and which keys were to be played when. But to be shown how to do a series of dance moves and then told to just throw them together in a routine in whatever order you felt like had the young gorilla stumped. Is this what it was like to compose your own music?
The thought had Johnny stop what he was doing. He hadn't been successful in his attempts of writing his own music yet, but he'd certainly tried. He supposed that would require more feeling than thinking, too. He looked over at Ash who, despite this only being their second session in Gunter's class, was showing no signs of trouble in practising routines more than twice the length of what he was currently doing, even throwing in moves of her own that Gunter hadn't shown her. And she had successfully written her own music. Five songs since Set It All Free by Johnny's last count.
Perhaps that was why the few times he'd tried putting pen to paper nothing more than a frustrated sigh and staring blankly at the walls had come of it. And perhaps that was why he was struggling so much to put together a simple routine of just five dance moves. The moves weren't particularly difficult, either. Individually they were perfectly easy to perform. But trying to put them together to create something more than the sum of its parts just completely baffled him.
He'd tried keeping in mind what Rosita had said, that he would get it eventually. But it just wasn't coming fast enough and it was frustrating. He was trying to follow Gunter's advice, to follow the music and just do it, but his mind was being far too active at filling him with doubts and insecurities and he just couldn't pull it off.
With another sigh Johnny decided he needed a break. He was about to excuse himself but the very first word out of his mouth came out as nothing more than a raspy croak. He hadn't realised how thirsty he was and, now that he was noticing, he was pouring with sweat. Whether that was just down to the physical activity or if his frustration had a part to play too, he didn't know. He simply looked to the floor with slumped shoulders, dejected, and made his way off to the side of the room, not caring who noticed. He lowered down to fish his water bottle out of his bag, unscrewed the cap to take a quick gulp and, finding the sensation of the cool liquid travelling down his throat far too satisfying, proceeded to drink the entirety of its content. Somehow that still didn't feel like it was enough.
"Wow, you uhh… really chugged that water there," came a voice from just outside of Johnny's vision.
He quickly turned his head to see Ash looking up at him, slightly concerned.
"You OK big guy?" she asked. "You didn't seem to be doing so hot out there."
"'m feeling pretty bloody hot, alrigh'," he grumbled, throwing his bottle next to his bag.
"Yeah, I could tell," she said, pointing at the discarded bottle. "What's up?"
Johnny groaned, dragging his hands across his face. With how damp his fur was he instantly regretted the decision, wiping his hands off on the least damp patch he could find on his tracksuit jacket. "I'm just not really gettin' it. I dunno wha's going on with me today, just can't seem to focus."
"C'mon, it can't be that bad, right? You struggled with the piano when you first got here, and believe me, we heard," she added with a smirk, causing Johnny to grimace. "But you got there! It just takes practice."
"But this is different, Ash. It's no' like anything I've ever learned before. I wanna just learn what I'm s'posed to be doin', not be taught a few moves and jus' left to it. I can't do this."
"Sure ya can! You've danced around in your room as a kid before, right?"
"Uhh, well actually… no."
"No?" Ash gave Johnny an incredulous look. What kind of kid didn't do stupid stuff like play their music too loud and dance around to it when their parents weren't watching?
Johnny shrugged. "Dad didn' really like me doin' that kinda stuff. Told me I should be doin' something more useful like studying or helping out around the house." He looked around the room to make sure nobody was watching and then lowered his voice to make sure they couldn't hear. "Or help plan some kinda crime."
Ash shook her head. It was still a weird thing to think that Johnny was, essentially, an ex-criminal. Or at least an accessory to many crimes. She'd almost laughed the first time Johnny told her. Now it just made her sad to think her friend had lost out on what should have been a normal childhood.
"Jeez, Johnny," she said, lowering her voice to match Johnny's own. "How young did your dad start you out?"
"Pretty young," he shrugged. "I dunno how young exactly. Well, he didn't exactly ge' me involved 'til I was older, but he never really made it a secret around me as a kid so I guess it was kinda normal."
"OK, so, what I'm hearing is you have had literally no experience in dancing before Moon started us doing this class?"
Johnny simply nodded.
"And he thought you'd be good at it," she said with a small laugh.
"Tha's not really reassurin'," Johnny pouted.
"I dunno what else to say, big guy. You're screwed."
"Wha'- Ash!"
Ash couldn't help but burst into a fit of giggles at Johnny's offended look. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, but that look is priceless! Hold on, lemme get a camera."
Johnny scowled at her, but that didn't scare the porcupine in the slightest. Johnny didn't have a single ill-willed bone in his body, so even when he appeared to be angry it was hard to see him as intimidating.
"OK, but seriously, you shouldn't be stressing out so much about this," Ash said, not wanting to tease the poor ape any more. "This is a class, you have people to help you here. You've got Gunter and Rosita, and you have me, Meena and Mike. Well, maybe not Mike." She spared the mouse a quick glance and he appeared to be displaying his over-confident smile proudly throughout whatever dance he was currently doing. "He's gonna be an insufferable dick when he actually gets good at this, I just know it."
"Ash!" Johnny gasped. He knew Ash and Mike weren't the best of friends but hearing such language directed at him was a bit much.
"Oh come on, you know I'm right!"
"Well…" Despite the fact that he certainly wouldn't use the same words, he couldn't really argue that Ash had a point. Mike had become friendlier to the cast as of late, that much was true, but he was still determined to flaunt his superiority any time he could.
"Anyway, back to the point. If you're really struggling to do this, then just let loose and do whatever you feel like doing. Dance like you're that kid in your room, without your dad barging in to tell you off. Don't worry about what we've been taught, just get a rhythm going and throw some moves out!"
"But I'll look stupid!"
"So? We all look stupid!"
"You guys don't. You all look like you actually know wha' you're doing."
"Ugh, Johnny, stop making this so difficult…"
"Vat is going on here then?" came another voice.
Johnny and Ash turned around and spotted Gunter looking at them quizzically.
"I just, uhh… I'm no' gettin' it, is all," Johnny said.
"He's too worried about embarrassing himself," Ash added, earning a glare from the ape.
"Ohh, is zat all? Here, come, you have nothing to be worried about," Gunter said, grabbing Johnny's hands and pulling him back to the middle of the room.
"Hey, wait, I-"
"You vill see zat there is no shame in dancing poorly, as long as you are trying!"
Johnny saw that attention was beginning to turn to them from everyone else in the room.
"Gunter, I… I dunno if I…"
"You think ze animals in the clubs are caring if they cannot dance like the big stars? No, of course not! They just feel ze rhythm and dance to it! Let us start simple. You just feel the music, start moving to the beat…" He began swaying his hips in time to the music, gesturing for Johnny to do the same.
Johnny's face flushed furiously. He knew everybody was watching and his nerves were getting the better of him. Despite his better judgement he did as he was told, shuffling his body to the beat of the music.
"Ja, a little awkward, but zat is alright! And then you throw in some simple moves, like clapping your hands, or throwing out your arms… maybe a spin."
Gunter began clapping his hands in time to the music and then added a spin, looking expectantly at Johnny.
Johnny lifted his hands, preparing to clap them.
"This oughta be good," Mike said, and out of the corner of Johnny's eye he could see the condescending smirk on the mouse's face.
Immediately he lowered his hands back down and stopped moving. He couldn't do this.
"Vat is wrong?" Gunter said, smile falling.
Johnny looked around him. Mike was watching him gleefully, Ash, Meena and Rosita all watching with concern. His embarrassment was beginning to reach new heights. He didn't mind practising his moves while everyone else was busy practising theirs, but now that everyone was watching him, probably expecting him to fail, he just couldn't do it.
"I feel bloody stupid," Johnny finally spoke up.
"Well zat is alright," Gunter said, smiling again. "You just need to-"
"No, I can't..." Johnny cut in, but he trailed off, embarrassment getting the better of him. He wasn't sure what he was trying to say or what he was doing, he just wanted to leave. Now. "I-I can't do this!" he finally snapped.
He spun around on his heel and stormed out of the room, not bothering to pick up his bag or jacket on the way out.
"Johnny!" everyone but Mike called out.
"Aww, c'mon kid, come back!" Mike called after. "We wanna see ya fall some more!"
Everyone turned to glare at the mouse.
"What?" he chuckled, giving a small shrug. "Kid should be able to take a joke, right?"
"You could see he was already embarrassed," Rosita snapped. "Why did you feel the need to add to that?"
"He was already leavin', not like what I said made a difference," he defended.
"That still wasn't a very nice thing to say," Meena said.
"Yeah, well…" Mike did feel a little bad. "Alright, lemme go talk to him. It's clear whatever Spikes over there said to him didn't work," he added, pointing over to Ash.
"I swear to God," Ash said, about to stomp her way over to Mike when Gunter spoke up.
"No, no, there vill be no fighting. I will go talk with him. I do not think I am teaching him the correct way. I should maybe see what I can do to help so he is not feeling ze nerves so much."
"Good idea," Rosita agreed. "I can take over here for now."
"Thank you Rosita."
Gunter left the room and followed what part of Johnny's route he had seen the ape go. It was along the way to his own practice room so it made sense that he would probably have gone there. As Gunter made his way closer he could hear the sweet sound of piano keys being struck in the arrangement of a classical piece, Beethoven was his best guess. It was far different from anything he'd heard Johnny play and he briefly wondered if it was in fact him, or if perhaps Miss Crawly had found the inspiration to play today. She had been known to from time to time. His suspicions were soon put to rest, however, as he rounded the corner and saw through the window of Johnny's practice room that it was most certainly the young gorilla playing.
With his concentration firmly set on the keys Johnny didn't notice when Gunter slipped into the room. The first thing the pig couldn't help but notice was the fact that Johnny's tracksuit jacket had been unzipped part of the way and he was, to Gunter's great surprise and delight, not wearing a shirt underneath. Not much was visible, particularly from the angle at which Gunter was standing, just a tuft of seemingly damp and matted fur poking out of the jacket and the faintest hint of well-defined, grey-skinned pectorals beneath. Gunter didn't allow his eyes to linger too long, he knew the young ape already had more than enough cause to be embarrassed today and he wasn't here to add to it.
Gunter didn't find himself able to focus long on Johnny's body anyway. The tune coming from the piano completely enraptured him. He allowed his eyes to close as the music washed over him. He didn't feel the need to dance to it, simply listen. The raw emotion in the notes being played was enough of an experience on its own.
Ah, how he had missed the classical music he listened to so often in his youth. For the longest time now his music choice had been filled with more pop than anything else, much of it lacking the ability to evoke such emotions as what he was currently listening to. It was… nostalgic, sad, mournful.
He wasn't quite sure how long he'd been standing there listening, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes but it felt like it should have been much longer than that. He only opened his eyes as the last note was struck, lingering in the air for a moment as it slowly faded to silence. Finished with the song, Johnny still didn't look up from the keys, nor did he move his hands from their final position. He mumbled something to himself that Gunter couldn't quite hear, but for some reason Gunter didn't feel he should have. Looking into Johnny's face and seeing a look of pure grief, Gunter knew this was clearly supposed to have been private, he shouldn't have been here. Before he had the opportunity to quietly slip away, however, Johnny lifted his gaze to meet Gunter's, the briefest flash of surprise lighting up in the ape's chestnut eyes before settling again. It was then that Gunter noticed the fur below Johnny's eyes were soaked, wetness much fresher than the sweat in the rest of his fur.
"S-Sorry, gimme a… a minute," Johnny choked as he turned his back to Gunter, wiping his eyes on his sleeves and taking a couple of deep breaths to compose himself.
"No, I am the one who should be sorry," Gunter said meekly. "I do not feel I should have been eavesdropping, but I… I could not leave. I have never heard you play such music here, it vas… beautiful."
Johnny turned back to Gunter with a weak smile. "Thanks. I think the pacin' was a little off, though. I'm still gettin' used to it."
"It was Beethoven, no?"
"Yeah. Moonlight Sonata. It was somethin' my mum used to play when I was a kid, one of her favourites. She tried teachin' it to me, but I reckon I was a bi' too young back then. Miss Crawly was kind enough to help me learn it." His smile gave way to a small frown for a moment. "Well, the first movement of it, anyway. I'm not really interested in learning any more of it jus' yet. 'Specially the third movement, that looks way too intimidatin'." His smile returned and he let out a small laugh.
Gunter's eyebrows knitted together for a moment. "You are not often talking about your life outside of the theatre." It was as though he was only realising this as he said it.
Johnny turned away in a slight panic. There was an awful lot he didn't talk about, at least not with anyone but Ash, and he didn't soon plan to. He felt that keeping his face hidden was probably best for the obvious lie he was about to tell. "Yeah, well, no' really got much going on in my life. Pretty borin' really."
"I see."
An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Johnny was beginning to grow concerned that Gunter had seen through him and would try probing deeper into his personal life, but he didn't.
"So… the reason I am following you here is because I was vorried that I had not made you feel better with yourself, but much worse. I did not mean to do this and I wanted to apologise."
"Oh, uh, it's alrigh'," Johnny said sheepishly. "I don' really know why I reacted like that, I don' usually get so nervous. I guess I was jus' frustrated when I wasn't gettin' it and when I realised everyone was watchin' me I kinda panicked." He turned his body around to face Gunter and his expression grew apologetic as he met Gunter's gaze with a sincere smile. "I'm sorry I stormed ou' like that, I didn' mean to worry you."
Gunter blushed slightly, a dopey grin settling on his face. Something about the way Johnny smiled so sweetly while apologising over something that really wasn't his fault gave him an undeniable charm. He looked so innocent and… cute.
Also, his jacket was still unzipped and his exposed chest was now in full view.
Johnny noticed Gunter's eyes flick downwards for the briefest of moments and realised just what he was looking at.
"Oh! I'm so sorry," he said, growing just as flustered as he fiddled with the zipper, quickly pulling it up to his throat. "I-It's just, I was so bloody hot an' I needed to cool down."
Johnny wasn't doing himself any favours in Gunter's eyes. Growing so flustered over such a simple thing was only making him cuter and it amused Gunter to no end.
"It is OK," Gunter said, holding back his laughter with limited success, "but I am needing to get back to the class. I was wondering if you vould like to join us again?"
"Uhh, I… I dunno…"
"You do not have to participate if you are feeling self-conscious, you can just watch me or Rosita instead."
Johnny pondered for a moment before slowly nodding his head.
"Great!" Gunter said before offering his hand.
Johnny looked at the hand for a moment before cautiously accepting it, allowing Gunter to help pull him up from his stool.
"Oof, you are perhaps going to be harder to lift than you look."
"W-What?! Lift?!" Johnny looked horrified at the suggestion.
"Ja! But do not look such worried face, zis will not be for a few weeks at least." Gunter smiled confidently. "I will manage, though, perhaps I will do some of the weight lifting first," he added with a chuckle, mimicking the motion of a bicep curl.
This didn't do much to alleviate Johnny's fear of such a daunting feat, but he did at least try to laugh at Gunter's joke. At least he thought it was a joke. He was quite a bit heavier than Gunter, after all. It wouldn't be as easy for Gunter as it would be for Johnny to lift him.
Johnny found himself growing flustered again at the thought. Why was the idea of lifting Gunter giving him butterflies in his stomach? His hands would be placed upon Gunter's skin, since there was far too much of it on show not to make that kind of contact. Johnny's hands would be upon the pig's bare midriff, Gunter's body hovering over his own…
Oh dear. Johnny now knew he had it bad. He tried his hardest to dismiss the thoughts and it was only then that he realised Gunter had been talking to him the whole time. He mentally rejoined the conversation, hoping his spacing out would go unnoticed.
"And I am thinking perhaps you will be the only one who can lift Meena. I do not vant to be mean to the poor girl, but she is an elephant so she is naturally very big! No-one else is going to be able to do zis."
"Uhh, sure, sure."
"We vill take it slow, however. You will practice with me or Rosita first, so do not worry. We do not want anyone to get hurt."
A smirk slowly crept onto Johnny's face as a thought suddenly flashed through his head. "What about Mike?"
"Hmm… I do not think he will have ze strength to lift Ash, and everybody else is out of the question."
"Maybe he could try to lift Mr. Moon?" Johnny offered, barely concealing his laughter.
"Oh, I would pay good money to see zis," Gunter snorted. "But no, I am thinking perhaps he should invite his girlfriend to practice this."
The two had now reached the practice room in which the class was still going on. Gunter looked up at Johnny, a look of slight concern etched into his features. "You are sure you want to continue?"
Johnny heaved a nervous sigh. "Yeah, I think so. I'll at least watch, maybe join in if I can ge' over my nerves."
"Good, good. You know, if it is really making you nervous to do this in front of ze others, you could always come to my dance studio to practice some more."
"But, wouldn't there still be other animals there?" he asked, confused as to how that would make a difference.
"Sure, sure, there vould, but you do not know any of zem. And they will be making big fools of themselves, too. I should not say zis, but there is a bull in my class and he is the clumsiest! But nobody laughs at him, everyone is learning! You will feel good in my Friday night class, I am thinking."
Johnny now saw why Gunter had made the suggestion. It's true that making a fool of himself in front of strangers would be easier than doing the same in front of the cast. But at the same time, it still meant looking stupid in front of Gunter. But if Gunter was used to seeing worse, perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing. Plus, he was still determined not to let anyone down.
"OK, yeah, I'll do it."
"Wonderful! Ze class starts at 7pm, but I am advising you to come fifteen minutes before that to get a locker and to change."
"Cool. And, uhh… 'ow much is it?"
"How much is it?" Gunter repeated, looking confused before realising what Johnny meant. "Oh! Don't be silly, I will not be charging you!"
"Hey, lovebirds, you coming in or what?" Ash called out to them, and they both turned to see that everyone's eyes were on them.
Johnny's eyes grew wide at the comment and he felt his face heat up considerably, but Gunter acted as though nothing strange had been said.
"Ja, we are coming, I was just making sure Johnny vas not going to run away again," Gunter said, giving Johnny a teasing smile before bounding over to the other side of the room again.
It took a moment to calm himself down but Johnny decided to play along, if only to ignore the comment as well. "Oi, don' make me change my mind!" he said, pretending to be offended.
The comment did go ignored by everyone since Ash had only meant it as a joke, or at least everyone except Rosita. Johnny hadn't noticed her watching him in particular and she'd seen his face. She knew that look, one from her youth that many young men had displayed when called out on their crushes, especially when she'd first asked Norman about his.
She just smiled softly; between what had just happened and what Johnny had said a few days ago it was easy to piece together what was happening and the situation was as amusing as it was sweet. She wasn't going to pry, though. She doubted anything would come of it and there was no harm in allowing the young ape the luxury of having a crush. She did however make a mental note to tell Johnny in as subtle a way as possible that she was available should he need to talk. Perhaps next time he came to visit, away from the ears of their fellow cast members.
For now he seemed content watching Ash, Mike and Meena dance and trying to pick up pointers, eyes only occasionally glancing in Gunter's direction for the briefest of moments. With only twenty minutes of the class left she doubted he would learn much, but it was at least nice to see him enjoying himself again.
