And it was from that day forth that I devoted every lasting minuet to my family. I had had surgery to remove a large portion of the cancer cells but only time will tell if it will return.
I've had three radiation treatments so far and the cancer seems to be going away says the doctor. He says I'm doing very well, yet it feels like what is saving my life is also killing me.
It was after the third month that Ross asked me in a scared voice, "daddy are you going die"
I didn't know how to answer him. If I told him no and I died I would have let my son down. If I said yes then how would he take it. I had to say something.
I told him in a shaky voice,"son I don't know and that's what scares me the most".
Ross looked very sad he looked like he was about to cry.
He said," I didn't know you could get scared dad".
I told him" I didn't either son".
As the months rolled on I had to find things to do and I couldn't teach Ross how to do much with how weak I was. I decided I would start handcrafting a new cane for Ross some would have something I made for him for the rest of his life.
I had located a fine source of steel for the cane but I couldn't find the right material for the hilt and I would continue the search for that later.
I had just gotten done with my sixth treatment and had laid down on the couch when I felt that instantly recognizable feeling in the back of my throat. I Haden's even got up before I was vomiting blood on the hardwood floor of my living room. I had tried to stand up but I collapsed on the floor and passed out in a puddle of my own blood. I remember a haze over my vision almost blurred but I was able to make out people. I remember Ross coming home from school with Carmilita, that is something I won't forget for a long time.
I was rushed to the emergency room for the second time in my life. The doctor said I had lost so much blood that I was barely alive.
When I got home the next day I stayed in bed all day with an IV in my arm just in case I passed out again. The next day I was in my lounge chair in my den next to the fireplace, Ross was on the floor playing with some toys.
Ross asked me to tell him a story.
So I pulled him up on my knee and I turned off my tv I pulled out a book that had been in my family for generations, the thievious raccoonus, I began reading a monologue from the earliest entry that was relevant, it was from the tales of Thaddeus Winslow Cooper it was a tale of his gentlemanly duties at the Tower of London and how he had been a thief as well.
Ross asked me if it was okay to steal from others. No a master thief only steals from criminals.
After that day I felt I had a duty to teach my son that stealing is only ok for some occasions.
My life had been good up until I had gotten cancer. I was a mess my hair had fallen out and I got nosebleeds just standing up I needed to use my cane just to walk room to room. I was only 26 yet I felt like I was 100. I was in misery I was lying awake in bed one night when I just started crying, I turned to Carmilita and asked her why this had to happen to me. She said that God makes everything happen for a reason and that everything was going to be alright. I wrapped my arm around her and said," I love you".
