Hi thanks for reading. I am uploading this whole thing together so Janto-Addict get's the whole thing on her b-day :D Enjoy!

Headteacher: Thank you ladies, gentleman and students for joining us on this special occasion. We have plenty of music acts for tonight. We have Ianto Jones' band, Spike. (the audience cheers, claps and whistles) Also we have performances from Stephen Robert's band, Thunder. (the audience boo's) So without any further ado I present the first act. Spike!

[The stage lights up and a band are standing on the stage. The music starts up]

"This is it, this is Ianto's band!" Gwen rushed.

I gotta feeling that tonights gonna be a good night
That tonights gonna be a good night
That tonights gonna be a good good night (x3)
Tonights the night night
Lets live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get OFF
I know that well have a ball
If we get down
And go out
And just loose it all
I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Lets go way out spaced out
And loosing all control
Fill up my cup
Mozel Tov
Look at her dancing
Just take it off
Lets paint the town
Well shut it down
Lets burn the roof
And then well do it again

Let's do it (x3)

And live it up

I gotta feeling that tonights gonna be a good night

That tonights gonna be a good night
That tonights gonna be a good good night (x2)
Tonights the night
Lets live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get OFF
Fill up my cup (Drink)
Mozel Tov (Lahyme)
Look at her dancing (Move it Move it)
Just take it off
Lets paint the town
Well shut it down
Lets burn the roof
And then well do it again
Lets do it (x3)
Lets live it up
Here we come
Here we go
We gotta rock
Easy come
Easy go
Now we on top
Feel the shot
Body rock
Rock it dont stop
Round and round
Up and down
Around the clock

"Ermm wow!" Tosh said. "His band were really good."

"Yeah I know." Owen actually agreed.

On the TV the next band played a song called Work this out It was terrible.

"That was the most awful thing I ever heard." Owen said.

"Oh my God guys look it's Ianto and Lisa!" Gwen exclaimed.

The stage was dark but a spotlight came down on Lisa as she sang.

Lisa:

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..[x2]

The spotlight switches to Ianto who's sat in a chair with his head down until he sings pretending to be Stan.

Ianto:

Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Scam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

Spotlight switch to Lisa again.

Lisa:

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

Spotlight switch to Ianto.

Ianto:

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

Spotlight switch to Lisa.

Lisa:

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

Spotlight switch to Ianto.

Ianto:

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*}

Everything is dark and you can only hear Lisa singing.

Lisa:

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

The spotlight goes onto Ianto who's at a table with a bit of paper saying, Slim Shady's mail.

Ianto: (Slim Shady)

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

The team were silent.

"That was one hell of a song." Owen said.

"It was sad." Tosh replied.

"I know but Ianto can sure write lyrics."

"And sing." Gwen added.

"Guys I can hear something." Owen said.

"Shit, it's Jack and Ianto turn it off quick!" Owen said.

As Jack and Ianto walked into the room, (well Ianto was using Jack for some support as he was a little weak.) the team fell silent.

"What's been going on in here then?" Jack asked looking at his shifty employees.

"Nothing." Owen said.

"Let's get back to work guys." Tosh said quickly.

When everyone was settled down Owen walked over to the CD player and put on a record. Eminem-Stan came on. Owen grinned. Ianto looked up as though to hear something he recognise.

"Anything wrong Ianto?" Owen asked sweetly.

"No.. I just thought I heard this song before. I'm gunna do some err... filing." Ianto stammered.

Jack hurried after him to see what was wrong.

"You heartless bastard!" Gwen exploded the minute they left the room.

"What?" Owen asked.

"He sang that song with Lisa. It probably brings back memories of her to him." Gwen said.

"Oh right. I better apologise to him later." Owen muttered.

"Well you can't coz then we can't watch the rest of the tape!" Gwen huffed.

"Oh yeah." That was all Owen could think of to say.