I started school two weeks days ago I kept my head down did my work got B's work for A's and shyly had a few conversations with some girls. I opened the front door seeing Moira scrubbing the floors. I stopped at the entice of the house and dropped my bag causing her to look my way I just smile to her. I lean my hand on the doorframe as I unzip my short black combat boots holding them in my hand I walk on the nicely just washed floor to my room. I put my shoes back in my closet and take out the books I'll need for homework tonight. I rub my eyes that won't stop burning I feel like I've been up for days. I shake my head going down to the kitchen grabbing a green monster energy drink needing a pick me up. Walking past my dad's office I stop hearing a familiar voice inside, Tate. I listened I hadn't see him since we met and I never asked my dad if we could hang out.

"She blew me off it was bullshit!" Tate rants. "She said she thought I was attracted to the dark side like her but then she said she was wrong I am the dark side… bullshit" he continued. "She just wanted to cut herself and listen to sad music she just wanted to be that person! She doesn't understand what it's like to feel the things I feel to think the things I think she wanted to be a sad girl I don't wanna be this!" he sobbed I could hear the tears.

Every word he said broke my heart I never want someone to feel that way I just wanna fix him. I left before I could hear what my dad had to say I didn't want to get caught. I downed my monster holding back tears for the poor boy and his broken heart. As I was passing through the hall I stopped turning to the door beside me. I looked to the white wooden door ever wall seemed closer suffocating me leaving me nowhere to run. A heart beat echoed in my ears as I stared at the door it pulsed with the door red blood running down it. I looked around the once long halls were closed and coming closer and closer to me ready to smash my body into a flatten dead crops.

I start to hyperventilate grabbing at my throat trying to force myself to breath it didn't work. With no other way from death I choice to grab the doorknob of the door it was slipperier and hot as I pushed it open stumbling into the guest bedroom with the amount of force I through myself into the room I didn't stop at the entice but continue slipping on the blood and lading of the queen sized guest bed. I turn fast my breathing returns to normal as I look out of the door seeing no blood and noting out of the ordinary. Dear God I'm going crazy. I stand shaky looking around the room knowing this is the one I always dreams about with a baby inside. I left the room walking into my mom's she wasn't in there.

"Mom?" I call for her. "Mom?" I try to hind my need for her controlling my shaky voice.

Shaking my head I headed back down the stairs still calling for my mom.

"The lady of the house isn't home child" Moira tells me.

I just nod and start to walk to my dad's office I know I shouldn't bother him while Tate's in there crying his eyes out but I really need him. As I was walking up the door opens and Tate walks out looking to me obviously with something up his sleeve it was odd.

"I'm gonna use your bathroom before I leave" Tate says walking off.

"Hey hun" dad kissed my forehead.

I smiled holding myself together.

"Your mom still at the air port waiting for aunt Ree's flight to land so I'm tasked with dinner" he laughed.

I just nod.

"I'm just gonna go run by the store before my next patient gets here did you want anything?"

I just shake my head no.

"You okay?"

"Yeah" I nod. "Just gonna take a nap and do some school work after I'm pretty sleepy" I lie kind of.

It's the truth I'm tired but I'm also seeing things.

"Okay, love you" he says sideways hugging me and leaving the house.

I can't believe any of this. Why am I seeing things, I shouldn't be seeing things! I'm a normal healthy girl I've never see things before… sort of true I guess. The thought of my grandpa wrapping me up in his arms at the old family house where aunt Ree lives now instead of us flashed in my mind. We use to play when mom… my birth mom Carol wouldn't play but then the nanny came and the maids and they all played with me and during the day when I would play with the help of the house grandpa wouldn't show up anymore till night time he would sing to me and tell me story's. I never told anyone after I told mom, Carol she was so mean called me names called my crazy and couldn't handle my tantrum so she pushed me in the closet and locked the door.

After that I never told anyone about grandpa even though I wanted to so bad when grandma would come down and visit showing pictures to dad. It wasn't till a few years ago when I was eleven I found out that the man I saw in the pictures the man who sang me to sleep died when dad was fourteen long before I was born. I never thought about it again I wanted to keep this in the deepest darkest part of my mind but I guess I couldn't, considering I just thought about it. I held back tears for my old pa who I haven't seen since we've moved here. I shook my head just feeling over loaded I walked into my dad office looking for his key to his desk I found it under a school picture of me taken about two years ago.

I wipe the water from my cheeks as I remain quiet opening the lowest drawer seeing labeled bottles of prescriptive medicine. I careful read them having no clue what most of them do till I found my favorite, Xanax. I sniffled opening the cap taking two from the bottle then I put it back angling it the way it was before. I stood on my feet knowing I'll finally get the sleep I've been needing if I take this tonight before bed. As I looked to the doorway it was filled with Tate standing there catching me red handed.

"Wanna hang out?" he asks simple.


We sat on the floor in my room I stashed my two pills in my nightstand inside of my vitamin bottle knowing its safe there the vitamins are for teen girls only. We talked a little small talk for a little then it went quiet neither one of us were good a carrying on a conversation that never bothered me though, and it didn't seem like it bothered him much either. After a while of the quietness I grabbed my school book starting my math homework the only class I'm failing.

"What school do you go to?" I asked him.

"I don't go to school anymore" he tells me. "I was kicked out"

"Why?" I ask simply, bluntly.

"I hurt some kids" he confessed.

"Why? Who started it you or them?"

"The god damn world!" he said with much passion. "The world is bullshit and so are the people in it, it's all just bullshit, bullshit" he rants

"I'm not bullshit" I correct him.

He seemed stunned by my lack of passion on the matter.

"Do you like all that dark stuff?" he asks. "Death, gore, blood, drinking, smoking?"

"No" I laugh. "Who does?" I argue. "Like really, who really likes the idea of death cause I bet those kids who think there so twisted really don't wanna lose their mommy or daddy or even themselves. I can tell you right now no one really wants to be in a horror movie with body parts and blood everywhere those people just wanna be cool. If they were really a twisted soul they would want something different but are forced by their lack of sanity to gain it or by the position someone else put them in and now don't know where to go" I tell him the truth. "So no I don't think the fact this house has a murder tour is cool and dark and twisty I think it's sad that so much blood has stained this soil and I don't think when some one dies in a brutal fashion its awesome and cool. I don't understand people who want to play with the devil"

"Yeah, yeah" Tate lowly agrees eyes widen in amazement of what I just said.

"You're the real deal Tate someone hurt you and your stuck but you're here talking to my dad cause you want something better you don't want to feel like this anymore"

"Your right" he agrees mindlessly.

"People who want to feel the way you do and get close to you because your there wet dream of darkness that's bullshit" I say thinking of the girl I overheard Tate talking about with my dad. "And those people when they finally get what they thought they wanted, your broken soul and the darkness inside they finally get it, that's never what they wanted so they drag you down to the last layer of hell and leave you there saying you're to messed up saying it's all your fault as they go"

He sat there criss-cross-applesauce eyes widen agreeing to ever word that left my mouth.

"That's where I am right now, in hell" he confesses. "Beaten, blood stripped of everything cast down from God damn heaven" he holds the same amount of emotion in his voice now as he did earlier about the bullshit world.

"My dad gonna help you, Tate" I tell him.

He nodded not saying another word and I did the same. We both stopped talking we just sat there listening to the music play.

'Somewhere in the end we're all insane,

To think that light ahead can save us from this,

Grave that's in the end of all this pain.'

That part of the song reminded me of Tate.

"I like this song" he says swaying to the music.

"Me to" I smile to his boyishness.

'In the night ahead there's a light upon this,

House on a hill,

The living, living still,

Their intention is to kill and they will, they will,

But the children are doing fine,

I think about them all the time,

Until they drink the wine and they will,

They will, they will.'

I turned the music up louder enjoying this moment here with Tate. He's pretty and nice, I'm glad were gonna be friends I just don't know how dad is gonna feel but Tate's not a weird guy just a little hurt, who isn't.

"That's not the right answer" Tate tells me pointing to my homework.

"Huh, what is?" I ask.

"Let me help because all that's wrong" he laughed pointing to the rest of my work.

I just sighed and he sat by me helping me. It was nice I didn't think I'd like doing homework so much in my life. Once we finished I went down stairs and grabbed the rest of the pizza from last night and two Dr. Peppers and brought them back up to Tate without anyone knowing. Mom got back late with aunt Ree and dad crashed on the sofa in the living room before they even got home, we stayed quiet when my mom got home so she would think I was asleep and once we heard her and aunt Ree go to sleep we stayed up all night talking and watching mind bending scary movies all night. Then at six in the morning my alarm went off and it was time to get ready for school.


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