"My excellent self spent all her points on acquiring all the party trick skills first, and then all the Arch Priest skills after that."

~Aqua

I walked up to the one famous magic item shop in town, the one famous for selling useless tools, of course, and opened the door...

"Vanir-style Death Ray!"

Instinctively, I shut the door before me. I rubbed my eyes. It's nothing, don't worry, your friend just got vaporised, no big deal I told myself. Just as I was about the open the door again, it swung wide open. Vanir appeared in his shopkeeper's uniform.

"Hello there, confused adventurer, are you here to sell your new products?" He asked.

I poked my head into the shop and spotted a pile of steaming ash and a familiar robe lying on the floor.

"Hey, is that Wiz? Is she okay?"

Alright, I'll admit it. That was a stupid thing to ask. Being blown up into a pile of dust is definitely not okay, even in this fantasy world.

"Ah, Kazuma, I'm fine," said the pile of dust. "My body will regenerate in a few moments. Please have a seat so I could make you some tea then."

I sat at the table in the shop, where a certain goddess have spent countless afternoons at. I looked around. The familiar products of the shop sat on the shelves: the potion which explodes on impact, the potion which explodes when its cap is opened, the potion which explodes if you drink it, the potion which explodes when you sing "Happy Birthday" and, finally, the one which explodes when you look at it. Don't worry, it's packaged inside a box. So it's safe until someone decides, for whatever reason, to open it.

What was unfamiliar was that objects resembling miniature cannons were piled up at the middle of the shop.

Vanir, noticing my gaze, explained, "Those are what the good-for-nothing shopkeeper ordered. They're supposed to give off a distress signal by firing magic towards the sky."

"So, they're basically flares. What's so bad about them?"

"Yes, I'll assume it's what you said it was, even if I don't know what that is. The problem is that it's not bright enough to be seen under daylight, and, when fired in the night, it attracts every undead monster under a five kilometre radius."

Oh, so that's how it is. I guess this shop isn't called the shop for useless items for no reason.

"I'll have one then."

"Really? Kazuma? You'll buy one? See, Mr Vanir, I told you it would sell!" Wiz has already fully recovered and look at Vanir with an excited look on her face.

"Well, we're, apparently, quite a favourable target for the undead already, so I guess a few more wouldn't hurt either."

"Thank you for your purchase. Now, have you decided to sell me the ... dynamite?"

Right. He had actually offered me quite a large sum to help him make the explosive. Well, it's not exactly dynamite, but a dynamite-based explosive made with materials from this world. But, it's not like anyone's going to complain if I call it dynamite as long as it makes a big boom.

However, my answer to his demand stayed unchanged. "No, just like I had said, it's not for sale. I'm using it as a last resort, a trump card. I don't want too many people to get hold of it. Besides, it would be a huge problem if the Devil King's army used them."

"Such a pity. I had a few high level adventurers who were fighting over the pre-orders."

"Hey, don't announce pre-orders before I actually decide to let you sell it," I got my bag and dumped its contents onto the table. "Besides, this stuff is much better. Back in where I lived, these things destroyed the lives of millions of teenagers and adults alike. It's called...

manga."

"My Foresight tells me what you said was not entirely true, but do tell me how this product works."

"Okay, it's not exactly the lives of millions of people. Maybe just the social part of their lives. Anyways, it tells stories through both pictures and words." I gestured towards the pile of paper. "Give it a read and tell me what you think afterwards."

He reached for the pile of paper and started reading. I waited anxiously. It was the first time I had shown anyone my work.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he put away the manga. Impatiently, and perhaps a bit too eagerly, I asked him the one question that had been bothering me for the past few days.

"Was it good?"

He met my gaze and replied, sincerely, "I am really impressed by the idea of this manga..."

I brightened up at this.

"... but I don't really understand what this," he held up my work, "is about."

"Really?" I exploded, "Even a three years old could read manga! How could you not understand?" Have my talents been wasted on this illiterate man? To think that all my hours of work would end up like this, ugh, I'll just have to find someone who would appreciate my work.

"No, I mean, what I've gathered from this is that a pineapple, who was a disappointment to its human parents, fell in love with a cat and..."

"Hey, hold it right there. Where did that pineapple come from? It's a school-life based romantic comedy! A romantic comedy, not a biography of vegetable!"

"Doesn't it look like a pineapple?" He pointed at one of the characters.

"No, that's the protagonist. The main character. Seriously, this does not, in anyway, look like a fruit."

"Alright, alright, whatever you say. What's the story supposed to be about, then?"

I guess it's not a good time to mention that the plot is based on my middle school crush.

"If you paid even slightly more effort, I'm sure you would be able to understand the story. Besides, Aqua will be the doing the drawings, so they should be better."

"That whatever-she-calls-herself-that-starts-with-a-'g'? Are you trying to wreck my business? I'm already having enough trouble with this cursed shopkeeper, don't even think of giving me more trouble."

"Trust me. She's terrible at everything but arts. You wouldn't believe it when you see her 1:1 model of the Destroyer. With chopsticks, empty booze bottles and glue."

It looked so real that, in fact, an alarm was raised and a third of the adventurers in town fled from the city in panic. We then had to spend several hours convincing the guild that it was fake before bailing out the sobbing Aqua.

"Kazuma, why do you have such a dumb look on your face?"

Being the composed, easy-going person that I am, I ignored that and told the so-called goddess what I had in mind.

"You're asking me, a goddess, to draw manga for you?"

"Think of it this way. If you do this, you'll be crowned as the creator of manga in this world. Whenever people pick up a manga, the first person that comes to their mind would be you, Aqua."

"Does that mean I'll be worshipped even by those not in the Axis Cult? Will I have even more followers?"

"Probably, if you draw them well enough."

"Alright!" She pumped her fist into the air. "But I'm not sure if I could draw well."

"You should at least give it a try." I offered her a stack of paper and a pencil.

I watched her draw from her back. I never thought talking a loafer into doing something actually productive would be that easy.

Just as I was thinking, Aqua had already finished her work. It was a drawing of a middle aged man with funny moustache while trying to look menacing and, of course, failing terribly.

"Is that Alderp?" Alderp, the previous crappy landlord of Axel. The one who would have snatched our dear Crusader had I not crashed their so-called wedding.

"Eh? No, this is meant to be you, Kazuma."

"What? Me? No, that's - heck, no, this can't be me."

Aqua walked up to our mage and asked, "Megumin, who is this?" The self-proclaimed goddess pointed at the drawing. "Is this Kazuma, or is it Alderp?"

The said Crimson Demon stopped poking Chomusuke's belly and had a brief glance at the drawing before returning to her poking. "Of course it's Kazuma," she answered.

"Alderp looks ten times better than that."

Saying that, she looked at me with a smug smile on her face.

Oh, someone's looking for a fight.

"Drain touch!" Before I had even finished completing the sentence, my hand was already at the back of the explosion-crazy girl's neck. And, in the blink of an eye, she was already lying flat on the floor, drained, while I snatched Aqua's staff from her hands and pretended to thrust it into the fireplace.

"If only he could be that useful in actual fights," A certain crusader who can't even hit stationary targets mutter.

I put the exhausted Megumin onto the couch and sat beside her.

What happened after my victory over those two was that Aqua started yelling curses so ruthless that I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be one of the Demon Generals. ("From now on, every in-game weapon you buy with your pocket money will be nerfed into a potato, and all your teammates would start attacking you every five minutes!") I ended up giving her back the staff, horrified by the sheer brutality of her words. Shortly after that, Megumin, who had apparently recovered, started strangling me until I promised to take her out for the "An explosion a day, keeps the crazy-headed girl away" thing and to give her enough mana to do the job.

So, here I was, sitting on the couch watching Megumin play with Chomusuke.

"Kazuma! Have a look at this!" Aqua put a few pieces of paper beside me. It was the manga she made, and looking at it, the manga was about how I died and came into this world.

"I haven't finished it yet, but I thought I would let you have a look."

"Thank you, Aqua, the art's amazing. I thought I should have discussed the plot with you beforehand, but I guess you could continue on with this. You know, our adventures and stuff." This was one of the little times where I was genuinely impressed by the goddess.

"Hmph, I'm a goddess after all, did you expect any less?" She puffed out her chest.

"Yes, yes, well done." I complimented her some more. It was well worth it if this could get her to keep on the good work. Preferably at a lower price. "Take your time with the rest of it," I told her, " Just give me a heads up when you need any help."

"Don't worry, it'll be done before you even know it."

I woke up the next morning to find a pile of booklets, neatly stapled, on my table. I flipped over one of them and found that it was the manga Aqua had helped me make yesterday. However, even though there were only four pages then, it was now complete with more than thirty pages.

With the booklet in my hand, I made my way to Aqua's bedroom.

"What are you doing in my room, you creepy NEET? Luckily I decided to get up early this morning, or god knows what you would have done to my sleeping body," said Aqua with a terrified face.

"I just wanted to ask about the manga," I explained flatly. "Besides, no matter how I look at you, I can't think of how I could think of you in that way. Even if I were to take the risk and do something like that, you definitely won't be on the top of the list." With that, I walked away, looking at her frozen expression.

"I did help you with the manga, so you should at least treat me a little bit better," she managed after a while.

"That's what I came here for. Did you seriously finish all those last night? I told Vanir that they would take about a month to complete so you needn't have done that."

"Well, I spent an hour or so on it last night and happened to finish it. You didn't expect how useful a goddess could be, did you?"

"An hour? I mean, it would be hard enough just to finish one of these in that time, and there was a stack of those on my table."

"Oh, of course I didn't make all of them. Did you expect I, a goddess, to make copies of manga by hand?"

"Then where did those come from? Please don't tell me you forced anyone into doing so, or you're going to apologise to him with me right away."

"Eh? Is that how you think of me? How would I do something like that? If I had to say something, Kazuma would be the most likely one in our party to do something like that."

I ignored the last comment and asked, "Then, how are the other copies made?"

"Party tricks."

"Pardon me?"

"Party tricks," she repeated, "Oh, Kazuma, surely you have seen people who could make one object into two? Or have you spent your whole life inside your house so you haven't seen anything like that?"

"Shut up, I died outdoors, so I'm not a shut-in. Besides, don't these people have two of the same objects beforehand and hide one of them in their sleeves or something? It's not like you could make something appear from thin air."

"Eh? They do? I do it this way," Aqua grabbed a booklet and hid both of her hands behind her back. Then, when she placed her hands in front of her, there were two booklets, one in each of her hands.

I flipped over them. Both were filled with drawings and were pretty much identical.

"Heh, that's why I told you to learn party tricks," she said with a triumphant smile on her face.

"Yeah, whatever."

After breakfast, I headed to Wiz's shop to put the manga on sale. I decided to finish that as quickly as possible when I saw Wiz reduced to a pile of ash, so I won't end up buying something useless yet costly again.

With that out of the way, I decided to have a walk around town, then stop by at the guild to have a drink.

"Yo, Kazuma, what brings you here? Shouldn't you be hanging out with those girls of yours?" Dust called out to me as soon as I stepped inside. He waved me over and gestured me to sit beside him.

"Oh, I was just strolling around the neighbourhood. Thought I could have a drink here." I took a sip of my drink.

After a slight pause, Dust started speaking again. "You're so lucky, Kazuma, being surrounded by those three, living with them, even-"

"Stop right there. I've gone over this with you before. You have no idea how much of a trouble those three are. One's a danger-seeking meat shield, the other's an annoying, rowdy undead magnet, and the last one-"

"I heard that you had that Lalatina girl bathe with you," He continued, "Too bad that you didn't get to do anything afterwards."

"Wha... what are you talking about?" I forced a smile. "Of course I haven't done anything like that before," The only ones who knew about this were Darkness and I, and I was sure that Darkness wouldn't have told others about it.

"Oh, how much I'd give to have a chance of that. There was this time when I was peeking at the women's baths and nearly had my eyes gouged out. You would be now talking to a blind man had I not got a bunch of extra-slimy slime monsters up my sleeve. Sent them straight back to the baths again, you know," Dust said the last sentence with a laugh.

"I don't-"

He held up a hand to stop me from saying anything. "Everything you have done is in here," he held out the manga Aqua made. "In no time, you'll be the envy of every male adventurer in town."

I snatched the booklet from his hands and skimmed its content page.

"Kazuma makes Darkness wash his back"

"Kazuma sleeps with the goddess Arch Priest Aqua"

"Pedo-NEET Kazuma bathes with Megumin"

"Kazuma dives into a pile of unwashed clothes of his female companions"

I did say that the manga could be about the lives of our party members, but I expected the adventures and fights we had instead of... this. Besides, I didn't actually do the last one on the list. Well, I was going to, but-

Let's just say I was stopped before I got the chance to do so.

"Welcome back, adventurer, would you like to buy this invisibility scroll? It could make non-magic users invisible for up to fifteen minutes."

That's right. Here I am, back at Wiz's shop.

"What's the catch?"

"You'll have to hold on to the scroll during the fifteen minutes, and the scroll isn't invisible."

"No thank you. Do you still have the manga I gave you this morning?"

"They sold out almost the moment you walked out of the store. That Dust boy and his gang bought all of them in one go. My Foresight tells me that you need them back urgently."

With a bright smile, he asked, "Would you like me to provide a list of who bought it for a hundred thousand Eris?"

"Damn it!!!!!"

And that's why I offered ten times the original price to repurchase something I made myself.

Alright. Here comes the second oneshot. First of all, thank you, again, for taking your time to read this story. I apologise for the late update. This story turned out to be longer than expected, so it took more time to write.

If you're wondering, I'll feature other characters in future oneshots too. I have only written about Aqua because she's easy to write and it's also great fun to do so. I might do Megumin next, but no promises.

Also, I try my best to stick with the author's writing style (especially that of earlier volumes of the LN), so oneshots would most include more humour (at least I try to be funny) and less romance.

As usual, please do leave a comment- criticism, encouragement, comments, waffles- anything that convinces me that there are other humans out there reading my story.