"Why am I doing this?" thought Nyphadora Tonks as she stared at the portkey Professor McGonagall had arranged for her. It had taken her a week to reply to the job offer. Even now she didn't totally understand why she had said yes. She didn't feel ready to face the real world again, the world which would remind her of Remus. She dreaded someone offering her condolences because she knew that it would flood her with memories and of her dreams for their future which had now been shattered. Tonks knew that the battle wasn't won, and that the work of rebuilding would take years. She knew she should help, but she couldn't force herself to face it. The letter from Professor McGonagall had forced her to face herself, and her fears. The only thought which consoled her as she reached for the portkey was that Remus would have wanted her to work. This thought was both a blessing as a curse. It forced her to reach for the portkey but it also forced memories of her love to the surface.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Looking around Professor McGonagall's office it was obvious that Dumbledore's presence was deeply imprinted on the room. Tonks exhaled and looked around the office for the headmistress of Hogwarts. Tonks heard the office door opening behind her and whirled to see Minerva McGonagall looking surprisingly well. The headmistress scowled at the cane she had to use and propped it against the desk. She motioned for Tonks to sit down as she took her seat behind the desk.

"I apologise for my lateness but I am not as fast on my feet as I used to be, i hope you haven't been waiting long" said McGonagall in a formal tone.

"It's fine" mumbled Tonks, avoiding meeting her former Professor's eyes.

"Tonks, look at me" McGonagall said in a much softer voice.

Tonks dragged her gaze up to meet the older woman's eyes.

"I appreciate so much what you are doing; accepting the Transfiguration position. I tried for a while to juggle teaching and running this school but the dual workload is… substantial. I also wanted to say informally that if there is anything I can do for you on a personal level then please, don't hesitate to ask. You may think I don't understand the burden you are carrying but we both lost… loved ones, to a good cause." McGonagall's voice had cracked and she wiped a tear from her cheek with impatience.

Tonks was shocked. She had never seen Minerva McGonagall this emotional. It appalled her that a woman so strong could be reduced to this; and she was even more sickened by her own actions. She had hidden herself away while others were grieving but working to restore their world.

Tonks looked at her colleague, who seemed to have regained her composure, and said "Thank you Professor, I hope I am successful at your school. If ever you need anything from me, well, you only have to ask."