A/N: This was inspired by "things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts".


Chapter one (In which Snape is missing an orange anorak)

They had been in school for two weeks when it started. It was a Defense Against the Dark Arts class taught by Snape, including both Slytherin and Gryffindor sixth years for a change. There would be many rumors starting from that day, including that Draco Malfoy had been under the Imperious, that he had lost his mind, and that the whole class had had a mass hallucination. Because there's really no reason for Malfoy to be disrespectful towards his favourite teacher.

The class begun as it normally would – Snape lectured them about something, he wouldn't let Hermione answer, Gryffindor lost points while Slytherin gained them, Snape forced Harry and Draco to practice together – but then, Draco raised his hand.

"Is it really necessary for me to always be with Scarhead, Kenny?"

The whole class stared at him like he had grown a second head.

"... Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy?"

"I would just like to train with someone more on my level for once, Kenny."

"... Did you just call me Kenny, Malfoy?"

"Well, yes. All you need would be an orange anorak."

Now a few of the muggleborns caught on to what Draco was doing and were even more disbelieving. Surely the great Draco Malfoy didn't just use a muggle reference?

"... Do you want detention, Malfoy?"

"No. But don't you think Kenny is appropriate, professor?"

Harry was the first to crack. He stifled a snort at the blonde's antics and hid his smile behind his hand. Snape glared at him briefly but couldn't deduct points or give him detention without doing the same to Draco.

"And why, pray tell, would I think that?"

"Oh, never mind. You at least talk understandably, Ken- sorry, professor."

At this point most of the muggleborns and some half-bloods were shaking with laughter. Hermione was busy frowning at Draco and explaining the reference to Ron as quietly as possible.

"Get to work!" Snape barked when the Gryffindors were still either laughing or listening to Hermione's explanation and Slytherins staring at Malfoy like he had lost his mind. (Because even though not all of them were purebloods, and therefore some understood what Draco was talking about, no Slytherin would voluntarily inflict Snape's wrath on themselves.)

Everyone hurriedly got to their appointed pairs and started practicing the spells and curses they were supposed to. But every once in a while everyone would look at Draco and Harry, who were both still grinning, though the Slytherin's smile was more inconspicuous.

"That was great! And did you see his confused look! Probably hasn't seen South Park in all his life!" Harry whispered excitedly while distractedly blocking a curse fired by the blonde.

"I know! Though I almost expected him to catch on; he is half-blood after all", Draco whispered back in between his hexes.

"Good that he didn't. Oh, and thank you for the compliment. Y'know, saying that you would need a partner more on your level", the Boy-Who-Lived smirked. That would have sounded cocky, and everyone would have thought he was baitingDraco, if not for the fact that the blond's cheeks gained a faint pink colour and he smiled back.

However, unfortunately for the castle's residents, that was just the beginning.


Yes, I am aware that South Park wasn't created until 1997, but for the sake of this story I moved it back a bit.

If you have ideas on what I should write about, I'd be happy to hear them!