Disclaimer: I don't own twilight
New moon
Edward: You don't belong in my world, Bella.
Bella: I belong with you! If this is about me stealing your cookie, I'll by you another one!
Edward: It's not about that. This is the last time you'll ever see me. Just don't do anything reckless. Don't walk and talk at the same time, don't talk to strangers, don't hang out with Jacob Black 'cause I have jealousy issues, don't trip over your own feet, don't...be yourself.
Bella: (tries to be dramatic by panting like a dog)
Bella: When Edward left, it's like a giant hole has been punched through my chest. (Bella fantasizes Edward walking out of his car with the wind in his hair like in a Fabio commercial)
Jacob: I know what he did to you, I stalk your status on Twitter. But Bella, I would never do that, until I imprint on your baby.
_
Bella: (in bed screaming like a freaky Psychopath)
Stephanie Meyer: What was the point of that?
Chris Weitz: It's dramatic! (Jazz hands)
Bella: There's only one way I can see him. (rides a motorcycle with her mouth hanging open like an idiot) (Author's note: She did do that during the WHOLE movie)
Edward: I'm a ghost:)
Bella: (jumps off a cliff) I can see Edward:) Oh, shat! I'm gonna die!
Jacob: Hey everyone, my shirt's off!
Fangirls: OMG! He's hot!
Bella: Hello? Save me!
Jacob: Right.
Alice: It's Edward. He thinks you're dead!
Bella: Why would he think that? I just jumped off a cliff, and hit my head on a rock, and coulda got one force head trauma.
Alice: He's going to Volterra!
Bella: I have no idea what Volterra is, but I'm gonna gasp anyways. Gasp!
Alice: He wants to die, too. He's gonna provoke the Volturi, even though it makes more sense just to burn himself.
Alice: (driving an ugly car down a terrible looking green-screen background)
Edward: (steps out into the sunlight without a shirt on)
Bella: No, Edward, don't! (runs through a fountain even though it would've been easier to walk around it)
Aro: It's a crime to show humans abs that ugly! Felix!
Felix: (slams Edward into the floor)
Edward: (looks constipated)
Bella: NO! NO! NO! PLEASE!
(more dramatic music)
Jane: This will hurt a whole freakin' lot!
(more dramatic music)
TwilightFangirl311: Where's Alec?
Chris Weitz: Don't worry, he'll have one line in the movie and not even a head shot.
TwilightFangirl311: !
I hoped you liked it. Review, nicely.
