Chapter 2: Out of this world

In a dark, twisted, dirty city, a strange glowing house sits in an unremarkable neighborhood. The lawn is closed off by a wooden fence and is dotted with creepy lawn gnomes and a flag that states the inhabitants love of the planet Earth. If one looked closely, you could almost see the gnomes move slowly back and forth, scanning the yard for any intruders.

Suddenly, a pair of large car batteries with various 2x4 do-dads attached were chucked over the fence and onto the dying grass. All the gnomes turned to focus on the strange device.


Kids Next Door S.H.U.T.D.O.W.N.

Small

Heavy

Unit

Terminates

Destructive

Ordinance

With

Neutrons


A wave of electricity suddenly spread out from both devices, causing the "gnomes" to smoke and crackle before exploding. Numbahs 1, 2 and 5 lepta over the fence as a grappling line rocketed across the sky. Tied to a spear, the line tightened like a circus rope as the blade digs into the house, directly above an upstairs window.

Numbah 2 and 5 take up positions to the right and left of the front door while Numbah 1 activates a communicator. "Lawn Gnomes went down just like you said. What should we expect on the other side Dib?"

Across town, the big headed paranormal expert Dib sits at a computer, reading all sorts of figures regarding the mission's progress. "Besides G.I.R., the only defenses he has on the first floor are those hideous robot "parents." Once you get to the Lab is when the real fighting starts. Now go get that alien!" he explained with an exclamation at the end.

"DIB! SHUT UP OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!" yelled Dib's super aggressive sister Gaz from across the house. Dib cringed at the threat of violence. He then, for no reasonably explained purpose, thought back to when Sector V showed up at his door that morning. When they came asking about aliens, Dib could only speculate as to what type of extraterrestrials they could be dealing with. Stewie, who was waiting aboard C.O.O.L.B.U.S. with a computer to hack into Zim's database, asked where they could learn actual hard facts about their enemies. Dib suggested that Zim database might have information about different alien species in them, and so, with much persuasion on Dib and Nigel's parts, it was agreed that Sector V would raid Zim's house. Once inside, Numbah 2 would find a way to disable any firewalls on Zim's computer, at which point Stewie would hack it for the information they need.

Back at Zim's house, Numbah 1 gives the signal. Numbahs 2 and 5 kick down the front door, while up above Numbah 3 and 4 rapple in through the glass window.

In the lab below, alarm lights blaze and sirens wale. Zim instantly turns to his robot sidekick G.I.R. "Dib-stink!" he shrieks with contempt. "G.I.R., destroy him!"

The mad little robot's normally cyan eyes became blood red. "Yes master!" he replied with a salute.

Up above, the three operatives scan the living room carefully. "Room seems clear. Status report Numbah 4." Numbah 1 spoke.

"You are not gonna believe this boss, but there is a freaking SPACESHIP up here!" Numbah 4 replied. "And Numbah 3 wants to play in it!"

"So, I've got a spaceship too!" Dib suddenly cut in. "It doesn't actually fly, but still..."

"Dib, keep the line clear of all non-essential information, clear?" Numbah 1 replied curtly.

"Sorry about that." Dib apologized sheepishly. "OK, now you need to look for a toilet near the kitchen. Dib out."

"Man, this alien has got one whacked out sense of interior design." Numbah 5 commented.

"Yeah, this is worse then..." Numbah 2 began, but his incoming pun was silence by a cold mechanical arm latching onto his throat. It was the pair of robots Zim built to act as his parents, and they... looked weirdly happy, all things considered.

"Look honey, visitors!" The father bot chirped.

"And just in time too! It's time to cut the cake!" The mother unit replied while raising a kitchen knife at them. "She" swung towards Numbah 1, but the team leader swiftly evaded it.

"Kids Next Door! BATTLE STATIONS!" Numbah 1 yelled before blasting the knife away from the robot. He then knocked it to the ground with a flying double-footed kick to the head.

Numbahs 2 and 5 were currently each griping one of the dad bot's arms as it tried to shake them loose. "HEY! MEANIE HEAD!" came a yell from the other side of the room. The dad bots head spun around, independent of its body exorcist style, to see Numbah 3 and 4 standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs, weapons in hand.

"Oh hey there! Zim can't play today, but..." the pre-recorded lines were silenced by a teddy bear smacking him in the face. After a second, it detonated, removing the robot's head.

"Man, those upgrades Dexter gave our weapons sure packs a punch!" Numbah 2 commented.

Numbah 1 knocked the remaining robot to the ground with a sweeping kick. "Now Numbah 4!" he yelled.

"Roight!" Wally replied while cartwheeling into the air. He landed both feet onto the robot's head, destroying it as well.

"OK, that takes care of them. Now we need to find our way underground..." Numbah 1 spoke rapidly while walking towards the kitchen, only to stop speaking when he saw Duty-Mode G.I.R. blocking the way.

"Halt, meatsacks! Prepare for DOOM!" He shouted.

Instead of being intimidated, Numbah 3 squealed. "You're the funny robot from the tea party! Hi funny robot!" she called back.

G.I.R. instantly snapped out of Duty Mode. "High there monkey girl! Let's play tag!" G.I.R. replied before touching himself. "I'M IT!"

The other operatives were... bewildered at this. "Well, at least Numbah 3 will keep the robot busy..." Numbah 1 remarked.

"Yeah, the robot is pretty easy to distract. I once got past him by telling him to "look over there." It looked over there for EIGHT HOURS!" Dib chimed in. "I'll contact you again once you're in the lab."

(KND symbol)

Outside, on-board the C.O.O.L.B.U.S., Stewie is moving around the ship, preparing things for takeoff. He checks the weapons readout and smirks. One air-to-surface rocket, armed and dangerous.

He starts humming to himself while strapping himself into the pilot's chair. "I've got a little list...

(KND symbol)

"So, you have dared to enter the layer of ZIM! Worm Babies Next Door, prepare for DOOM!" Zim yelled in the direction of his wall.

"Uh, green fool, we're over here." Numbah 5 replied, causing Zim to turn around to face his opponents.

"Once I have destroyed you, Dib-stink will finally taste my wrath! And it will taste like sardines!" Zim shrieked as mechanical tentacles descended from the ceiling to attack.

"Numbah 2! We'll keep Zim busy, bring down those firewalls!" Numbah 1 yelled, causing Numbah 2 to rush to the computer and start hacking. Suddenly, the sound of someone waking suddenly from a nap came from the computer.

"Huh? Uh...hey hey hey! What do you think you're doing!" Computer asked angrily.

Numbah 2 looked kinda sheepish. "Uh, well you see, I'm kinda supposed to shut down your firewalls so we can steal Zim's data."

"What? Nuh uh, no way. I mean, it sucks working for Zim, but I'm not about to risk getting a virus." the computer retorted.

Numbah 2 thought for a second. "Tell you what. Let us take Zim's files and you can come live with us at the tree house!" he offered.

"You really mean that?" the computer asked, touched that some showed concern for him.

"Yeah, just download yourself off with the files and I'll have you on-line in the tree house in no time." Numbah 2 answered. "You can play video games with Wally and me!"

"Zim never let me play video games." Computer grumbled discontently. "OK, I'm with you. Hold on a second." A whirring sound was heard before the computer went dark and all the lab's electronics, including the defense system, shut down.

"Human filth, what trickery is this!" Zim shrieked as his machines powered down.

"Give it up alien! We outnumber you four to one!" Numbah 1 demanded.

Zim stopped for a minute and counted the operatives. He then shrieked, "NOOOOOOO!"

Before anyone could attack, however, the computer screen winked back on, this time displaying Stewie Griffin. "Hey guys! I just wanted to say, good work on the data retrieval, but I'm gonna have to blow you up now. You see, the alien crash wasn't actually aliens, I kinda set it up to get you to help me steal Zim's alien technology. Now that you have, I need to tie up loose ends. K thanks bye." he informed them in a highly sarcastic manner. The screen then turned back off.

Outside, the C.O.O.L.B.U.S., with Stewie at the controls, is hovering directly in front of Zim's base. Inside the cockpit, Stewie says, "Now, just gotta think of a good one liner." He pauses for a moment. "Oh, that's delightfully cleaver, and since I'm the only one here, I don't even need to say it aloud!" he commented before firing the missile into Zim's house. It flew in through the upstairs window and detonated, the burst of fire quickly spreading through the entire building. Stewie chuckles and flies off.

At the Membrane residence, Dib stands up and throws of his headphones before rushing downstairs to help. As he passes his father, Dib rapidly shouts, "Gotta go save my paramilitary friends from a homicidal baby!" and rushed out the door.

The professor just sighs. "My poor, insane son."

(KND symbol)

Meanwhile, back at the Cul-de-sac, the Eds stand clustered together counting their money. Cartman could be seen watching a few steps away. "I can't believe it! The scam has run its course and we still have money!" Eddy squealed with delight. "It's jawbreaker time baby!"

Just as Eddy was about to rush off and purchase said jawbreakers, Double D grabbed him by the ear. "Now Eddy, isn't there someone you need to thank?" the smart kid asked.

"Oh, right. Thanks helping us out with the scam Aron." he spoke hurriedly to Cartman.

"It's Eric." Cartman replied. "And it was no trouble at all." he added in a sickeningly sweet tone. "Now you guys run on ahead and get jawbreakers. I need to prepare tomorrow's scam." The Eds took off running for the candy shop, not willing to wait any longer. Once they were out of earshot, Cartman pulled a blueprint from his pocket. "The Chilly Con Carnival."

Back at the Junkyard (which was slowly being converted into what seemed to be a military base) Cartman walked up directly to Heinreich to demand a progress report.

"All is in vediness for zhe Carnival tomorrow, Herr Cartman." the candy hunter reported. "In addition, veasearch into "Candmera" conversion is progressing smoothvy. A vive prototype should be veady in four days."

"Keep up the good work." Cartman then turned to "President" Jimmy. "How goes the Walker program?"

"Well, you see I have all the necessary materials and tools, but I simply need more manpower to create the number of Bus Walkers you're talking about in the time frame you're talking about." Jimmy spoke back with his smooth southern drawl. "I've contacted the Hall Monitors and the Mechanics Club, but neither of them are particularly eager to join four kids in a junkyard."

"I see. That's understandable, as our current position is an unenviable one." Cartman mused. "Don't worry though. By tomorrow, you'll have your workforce, and after that, min-I mean, OUR, followers." As he walked away, he muttered, "And then I'll have the world."

(KND symbol)

Back at Zim's house, all is still as the pile of rubble does not move. Dib finally reached what was left of the building and started frantically scratching at the ground. "They have to be alive, they just have to!" he babbled as a tear slid down his face. After a minute of hopeless clawing, he became still. "The only people who believed me... My only friends...gone." he muttered sadly.

Suddenly, something caught his eye. A pile of rubble was moving, someone was alive! Dib rushed over, but just as he was about to start digging, a gloved hand shot up and grabbed him by the throat! It was Zim! His P.A.K. arms pulled him from the dirt as he added his other hand to Dib's neck.

"Disgusting Earth filth! You will pay for what you have done here! PAY WITH YOUR FACE!" Zim raved, but he suddenly became silent and limp before falling aside. The alien out of the way, Dib saw that it was Numbah 1 who had saved him, having knocked Zim out with a brick!

"You alright Dib?" Numbah 1 asked while helping him up.

"How did you guys live through that?" Dib asked, relieved but shocked.

"I never trusted Stewie. He seemed deceptive and untrustworthy when I spoke with him, but what sealed it was the"alien" crash." Numbah 1 explained. "The recording we found at the crash site was obviously a recording of a Beiac from Doctor Time-Space and the Continuum."

"You watch that nerd show?" Numbah 4 asked, suprised.

"Not regularly, but it's the only thing on television when my Dad takes me to England." Numbah 1 replied. "I decided to play along to work out who was helping him, as the crash clearly took more then one person to set up. I decided to come to you out of a desire to repay you for helping us awhile back, and to see if we could hinder Zim's plan at all."

"But how did you survive the missile?" Dib asked.

"Nothing but KND training and willpower!" Numbah 4 declared proudly.

Numbah 1 quietly added, "That, and I altered the ship's targeting system to say it was firing a 1,000 lb. rocket instead of a 250 lb. rocket when no one was looking."

"The fact that Numbah 5, 1, 2, and 4 were underground, and Numbah 3 was in an armored Space Ship probably helped." Numbah 5 added. "Gotta hand it to you Numbah 1, that was a pretty smart plan."

"Too bad Stewie got away with the C.O.O.L.B.U.S." Numbah 2 spoke defeatedly.

"Did he?" Numbah 1 asked rhetorically while holding up a 2x4 tracking device displaying the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.'s location. "I also stuck a homing beacon on just in case."

"But how are we gonna catch up to the stinky baby without a ship?" Numbah 3 asked, G.I.R. already forgotten.

At that, Dib cleared his throat. "I might be able to help with that..."

Transmission interrupted...