October 12th, 1506
Phoebe asks:
"Dear Ezio,
What other languages do you know and did you learn them all for different girls?"
Phoebe,
Before I reply, I would like to point out that I do not yet fully understand this object before me called a 'keyboard'. It is quite confusing, as the words appear even though I have not written them down with ink or coal. Please forgive my naivety.
Now, for your question; as you may know, my brother Federico instructed me in the French language when I was a young man. And yes, I used it to charm a foreign lady- if you'd seen her, you'd understand. But French is not the only language I've used to woo beautiful girls.
I must've been…Twenty-two, maybe Twenty-three. I had been working for Antonio and his thieves when I met the most fetching light-skinned woman I had ever seen. She was easy to notice, with her long, sunset colored hair. The only other lady I'd seen with curls that color was Caterina Sforza, who not only spoke Italian, but was far beyond my league at the time.
As soon as I saw this wondrous maiden, I needed to know her name. However I was quite surprised to receive a blank stare when I asked for it.
"What's wrong?" I remember saying, "Can't you speak Italian?"
And then she said something that sounded like, "I don't countryside."
It was confusing to say the least.
All other communication failed after that. I kept my eyes on her for a few days, but she was rather good at avoiding me. I felt if she would just tell me her native language, perhaps I would have a chance. Although even when I did hear it (eavesdropping, I must admit), I could not recognize it. At first I assumed it was French, but that was a notion soon dismissed.
She was speaking with a merchant, I believe. Once she left, I approached him and asked, out of curiosity, what language they had conversed in.
"That was English," he informed me.
And so I was set in my quest to learn English.
First I brought my epiphany to Leonardo da Vinci, my closest friend. He was quite skeptical but, fortunately for me, spoke English fluently. He could not imagine a practical use for it at the moment, but I successfully persuaded him to teach me anyway.
As it happens, I would like to add that I have very recently used English in my work as Master of the Brotherhood. I have several pupils in the city of London now, and I have written each of them English identification, as well as taught them basic phrases. I would say they are well prepared.
Back to the story, however. After about three weeks of non-stop English, I mastered the language. During the course of those weeks I tried to gain my crush's attention. Sometimes I succeeded, and was able to show off my brilliant bilingual skills.
I remember vividly that after I delivered a nice compliment, she tried to hit me. Later I repeated what I'd said Leonardo, and he burst out laughing. He translated it to me as:
"Soothe me, miss, your smell is lumpy this earning."
It is important to note that Assassins do not blush easily. That said, I think I blushed.
But the point of the story is that I did in fact learn to speak English, though to this day Leonardo tells me my accent is horrendous. (By the way, by the time I had become completely fluent, I discovered the woman whose name I'll never know had already left Italy. She was only coming to visit a relative.)
I have since learned that becoming educated in a language solely to impress a member of the opposite sex is a waste of time and dignity.
-0-
Yours,
Ezio Auditore.
