But fuck that noise. Puck is a pumper and a grunter. He slams his room door shut, blasts some loud tunes and handles his dick like he handles cougars. And today's fantasy is the same as always. First, he's in the locker room and just happens to drop his towel. Finn, Sam, everyone just stops what they're doing to stare in awe at his massive cock. Finn blushes.

"Dude, that's-"

But of course, there are no words. And Sam just stands there, foaming at the mouth and licking his ladylips. Come on, he's totally seen Sam sneaking peeks of his junk in the locker room. And his answer to Puck's balls comment? Totally fishing for dude sex. Which he's not gonna get, because Puckzilla is no fudgepacker. Still, these guys are totally popping boners staring at his boner, jealous of his magnitude.

The jealousy only gets better as all of the Cheerios line up before him, begging him to stick them. He only picks the really hot ones, and pegs Quinn extra nice. But when she's crying and pleading with him to come inside her, "Please, Puck, I need your cum inside me again!" He just smirks and pulls out.

He smirks now and gives his dick a rough squeeze and pull. Faster and faster, he's giving these Cheerios the best orgasms of their lives while the guys watch. No one would ever know that his dick is completely average. Or that his grunts are getting increasingly higher pitched and girly with each Cheerios' orgasm. And as he comes, he's screeching like Prince and a little afraid of his own passionate release. Decidedly not badass.