Author's note: Thanks for the kind reviews on my first chapter. Things are going to get more exciting from here on out, so I'm glad you enjoyed it so far.
Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Fruits Basket and am not being compensated in any way for this work. Now, on with the show!
Chapter Two: Why Is Everything So Confusing?
Kyo's motorcycle was the only sound in the yard that early in the morning, but no one came to look out their door or windows. Kyo was counting on that as he pulled his bike up next to Hatori's black car used for taking Akito out of Sohma House. He knew that no one would bother getting out of bed to look at the bad-luck cat.
He also knew that even though it was early, Hatori would be awake and already about his business. He wasn't disappointed either. The Dragon was serenely sipping tea at his computer, catching up on the paperwork that never seemed to get finished. He didn't pause in his work to look at Kyo either.
"Hatori," Kyo said as he walked into the room, not bothering to knock. "I need to talk to you."
Hatori sighed as if grieving the loss of civility in the world. "Kyo, I'm very busy at the moment, and it doesn't look like that will change at all today. . ."
"Hatori, I found her." Kyo put his hands on Hatori's desk, forcing the man to look him in the eye. The look on his cousin's face told him that he knew exactly who Kyo was talking about. "Last night."
"Sh," Hatori hissed, his good eye glancing around the room even though they were quite alone. Then he calmly got up from the desk and grabbed a jacket from a nearby hook. "Come on, before you say something stupid where someone can hear you."
He led Kyo outside and into the car. "What's this all about?" He asked as he started the vehicle and drove through the main gates of the Sohma land. The car sped up as they neared the highway. "What do you mean you found her? Why were you looking?"
"I thought you said that you had erased her memory," Kyo accused instead of answering, watching the scenery in front of them come faster and faster. "I thought you said that she wouldn't ever remember her time with us. That she would lead a normal life."
"Of course I did. Why? Did she see you?" His voice gained intensity. "Did she know you?"
"She saw me, and yeah, there were times when it seemed maybe she knew who I was."
"Times? What do you mean? Did you talk to her?"
"Well, yeah. I walked her home."
"Idiot," Hatori shook his head, his fists clenched on the steering wheel. Kyo felt rage tighten his chest.
"What's the big deal? It's not like anyone knew where I was. It's not like anyone followed me."
"How do you know, Kyo? She's been gone for a year, and we've all been better off without the constant tension. There have been less explosions." He paused to touch his face. "Less accidents. If he were to find out that you had gone to see her . . ."
"I didn't say I'd gone to see her because I didn't. I had business there already, and I wasn't followed, ok? That's not even the point."
"There shouldn't be a point. You said she didn't know you."
"No, I said there were times when it seemed like she might. But when you took her memory, how much did you take?"
Hatori's grip loosened on the wheel. "It was difficult," he confessed. "She'd spent so much time with us. So much of her emotions were wrapped up in you and Yuki, and the house and town. One thing led to another. I had to wipe her memory of the school, because of the time she spent as your classmate. I had to take her memory of the grocery store, of the paths in the woods where you walked. It seemed that everything was spiderwebbed together. I would follow one string of thought only to find it was connected with five others. I had to take away much more than in the past. It wasn't like with anyone else. Momiji's mother just had to lose a few months of her life, and she was willing to part with it. The same with Kana. The other children just had mere moments stripped from them. She was completely different."
"If she tried to remember, do you think she could?"
"She wouldn't try to remember if there were no trigger. The memory isn't something that you can erase like a chalkboard. You can take pieces of it and tie them off or lock them away. It's easier to keep them buried when someone wants them to stay that way. Momiji's mother still knows who he is somewhere deep inside her, but she won't acknowledge it. She wants to keep it repressed."
"Tohru knows there's something missing. You should have seen her, Hatori; she was a mess. She named her cat Kyo."
Hatori's head snapped over to look at him so sharply that Kyo worried he might drive the car off the road. "She what?"
"She has a cat, an orange one, named Kyo." The car slowed, pulling off the highway and onto a side street. Hatori pulled over and stopped it completely.
"Is there anything else? What else does she remember?" A little nervous now and wondering if he had made the right decision in telling Hatori anything at all, Kyo related the dream Tohru had told him before he left, along with the other visions she had disclosed.
"What are we going to do?" Kyo finished with the question. Hatori was staring off into space, his fingers tapping on his knee rapidly.
"Nothing," he said after a moment. "Don't tell anyone else about this. You haven't yet, have you?"
"No, but we need to do something."
"No, we don't. Just leave it alone. It's safer if you just pretend you didn't see her, and never go back there again."
"I can't do that."
"Don't be stupid, Kyo. What do you want to do? Make her remember you for some selfish reason of your own? You know what that would do. You want to drag her back into this hell where we live? Is that what you want for her?"
"You know where she was when I saw her?" Hatori looked away from him, as if he were done listening. "Do you? She was standing on a bridge. She was going to jump, Hatori. I'm not going to pretend I didn't see that."
"And what did you think I could do about it, Kyo? Do you think the memories of what happened to her here would make her feel better? Or maybe you don't remember either, those final days with Akito."
"Can't you make it easier for her? If you just went to see her once, you could bury her memories a little further. Make it so she wouldn't see Akito in her dreams. Make her happy again. And maybe you could give her something else. You said yourself that you had to take more than anyone before. It's messed her up. She's empty."
"I already risked too much getting that safe house for her. Akito doesn't know where she is, and he knows that no one else does either. I don't know what he'd do if he found out that either one of us had seen her. We're only just getting back to the way it used to be. Why don't you just leave it alone?"
"Because I don't like the way it used to be, or the way it's been since. You make it sound like it would be such a bad thing for her to remember the last little while she was here, but I think you're wrong. I think she would take it all back any second, just so she could feel like a real person again. It's you that wants to stay safe. It's got nothing to do with her."
Hatori started the car again, turning it around to head back the way they'd come. Kyo knew the discussion was over, but couldn't help giving it one last try.
"I guess I was being stupid," Kyo said, unable to look at his cousin who had returned to the same tight-lipped calm as earlier when he was alone in his office. "Stupid for thinking I could come to you for help."
"You can say what you want, but you know where my loyalties lie."
"Yeah, I do, and I'm shocked. When you think about it a little, he's done nothing for you. All he does is take. Then look at what she did for you. Look what she tried to do for all of us. Just think about that for a minute, and then tell me that you made a good choice picking your side."
"I don't have to explain myself to you. It wasn't like any of us tried to stop what happened."
"No, you don't. But I'm not the one you screwed up, either."
"I'm done talking about this, Kyo. I'm not going to see her, and you're not either. If he finds out about it, he'll have me do worse than take her memory. Don't you understand that? Promise me you won't see her again."
"Fine, whatever."
The car pulled back into its place, and Hatori got out of it as if nothing had happened. He didn't speak or look at Kyo again. Kyo kicked his bike into life much harder than necessary, and even though it was getting colder and starting to snow a little, he rushed it out of the main grounds and just kept speeding up.
He didn't slow down again until he'd reached his own home, far from both Shigure's house where he and Yuki had spent their teenaged years and far from the main house. Neither side missed him much these days, and he felt that he could probably spend the rest of his life never seeing any of them again.
That's why he groaned audibly when he saw Yuki's champagne colored Honda parked outside his dojo. After Tohru's memory had been erased and she was sent away, he hadn't spoken to Yuki. There didn't seem to be any point. After graduation from high school, Kyo had returned to his master's home in the mountains to continue his training. Then, while his master had gone away again on business, he had opened their dojo. His business was thriving, and what made it better was that none of his pupils knew anything about Yuki, Tohru, or any other Sohma.
Yuki, on the other hand, was continuing his education. His plan was to attend the local college in Tokyo, then study abroad in America. Everyone he knew was encouraging him into politics, and from the way Kyo saw it, there couldn't be a better place for a rat.
Yuki didn't look much different than he had in high school. He kept his hair cut short except for those two bangs that fell unevenly on the sides of his face. His clothes were clean and well-tailored, and he leaned against the driver side of the car looking off into the distance with his arms crossed across his chest and one ankle crossed as well. Already pissed, Kyo swore silently to himself and walked right past the Honda, intent on going inside without ever acknowledging his cousin.
"Kyo," Yuki said, abruptly lurching into motion when Kyo was almost completely past him. He caught the sleeve of Kyo's coat, and Kyo shrugged him off roughly. He closed his eyes to avoid looking at the silver-haired young man. "Don't be stupid, Kyo. I just want to ask you something."
"I don't have time," Kyo hissed and continued his way to the dojo, which would be dark and empty since he had not slept there for several days. His mind's eye gave him a quick picture of Tohru's kitchen, and he longed for her to be inside when he finally opened the door. He wondered briefly if he had done the right thing in coming back here to speak with Hatori. What if he'd just stayed with her? Told her the truth about himself and then just disappeared from Sohma life forever. Would anyone have noticed he was missing? But no, that would have been too dangerous a plan.
Yuki was still following him, and Kyo knew that there would be no way out of the conversation. He paused at the door, not wanting Yuki to think he would ever be welcome inside the dojo.
"Fine," he muttered, still not looking at the rat. "What do you want?"
Yuki turned suddenly shy. Kyo knew what he wanted, and he knew he was going to lie right to his face about it too. Because no one could know. He shouldn't have even mentioned it to Hatori. The thought of his dragon cousin curled his fingers into a fist against the wood. Why had he done that? What did he really expect from Hatori? The only thing he'd done was make more problems for himself, and who knew about Tohru? He really was stupid. It could have been his secret, his and hers, if he'd just come home instead. But she was unhappy, and he didn't think he could pretend for too long to be someone else, and he knew he couldn't pretend that she was someone else, no matter how different she acted.
"Did you," Yuki was now the one looking at the ground, but Kyo knew that his love for Tohru would overcome any feelings he would have about depending on Kyo for information. "Did you see her?"
"Of course not," Kyo huffed and turned the key in his lock. She locked her door now too. All the times he'd reminded her to lock the door, and she never did. It didn't feel natural to her not to trust humanity. But there was a lock on it now. "Hinoi is a big city, and it wasn't like I had the time to go looking for her or anything. It's better if we don't, you know."
"Yeah, I know." Yuki paused briefly, looking at Kyo directly now even as Kyo contemplated his keys. "Is she all right?"
"What? I said I didn't see her –"
"I know what you said. But you wouldn't have left without at least looking. And if you were looking, then you found her."
"If you know where she is, then why haven't you gone looking?" A faint blush came to Yuki's face and Kyo knew that he had gone looking, but apparently without success.
"I just want to know if she's ok."
"I'm sure she's just fine," Kyo was losing momentum now. He had lied before, many times, about his own feelings, even to himself. But he could see her crumpled up in her bed in the dark, sleeping but only just, and seeing things that she didn't understand, that were part of a life that was long forgotten to her. But she could remember if she wanted to, Hatori hadn't said that directly, but Kyo was sure of it. Her memories of him weren't erased, just locked away. And she was trying to unlock it, she must be, or she wouldn't have an orange cat. She wouldn't have cut her hair. She wouldn't have dreams of dogs or go around the entire city looking for a school with blue uniforms.
Kyo looked then at Yuki, feeling his rage grow since it was practically like looking in a mirror. He remembered his own feelings as he walked around Hinoi last night when he found her standing on the bridge. He wasn't lying about the business that brought him there. There was a dojo there that wanted to organize a competition between schools. The masters had gathered for a meeting to set dates and rules, but that had been long finished and Kyo had spent many hours walking around the city. He was looking for long brown hair and listening for a laugh that had released something in his spirit that even he wasn't fully aware of. And when he saw her, poised on the railing with the most horrible expression on her face it was both the worst and best feeling he could remember. Yuki wanted to see her too. But would he want to see what Kyo had seen?
The Tohru they knew was not the Tohru now. Always slim, she was practically skeletal when he found her. She was a shell, wandering around in a miasma of desperation and bad dreams. Yuki would be disappointed if he saw her. It would hurt him probably more than it had hurt Kyo. He almost wanted that. Sometimes, when he was alone and wishing that things had worked out differently, Kyo blamed Yuki. No one minded if some girl liked the cat. They thought her a little off maybe, but it didn't make anyone jealous. Yuki had made Akito jealous. Yuki made a choice, for himself and for her, and had made Akito force his hand too. He wasn't sure if Yuki felt guilt over anything he did, but maybe it was time that he should.
"What would you do," Kyo asked, running his palm over the smooth wood of his door frame. "If you did see her? It's not like she would know you. You'd just be some weird guy who started talking to her out of the blue. It wouldn't ever be the way it was."
"I know that, but I want to see her."
"I saw her on the bridge." The look on Yuki's face was priceless. Kyo wished he could remember that expression forever. Yuki was indebted to him, because Kyo finally had the upper hand for something. He triumphed in the moment as long as he could. "I think. I mean, it was dark and snowing, but it sort of looked like her. Maybe it wasn't."
For one brief second, Kyo was sure Yuki was going to thank him, but that was asking too much. He'd already sunk too low for his polished self-esteem. He nodded, setting his jaw firmly, and simply walked back to his car to drive off. Kyo was grateful. They'd already talked too much for his taste.
The dojo was as quiet as he expected. He dropped his backpack at the entrance, but it wouldn't stay there long. He moved aimlessly through his rooms, checking to see if everything was the way he left it. He hadn't really noticed while he lived alone how much he truly missed the familiar presence of her in the house. The different feel that came just from knowing that she was somewhere there. It had all come back alive to him last night as he heard her drawing her bath while the rice cooker whistled quietly to itself. There were good moments, Tohru, he thought as he stretched himself on his bedspread for a little rest after his long night and even longer morning. If only she could remember something good.
He hoped that she didn't travel often to the bridge. He hoped that it had been a special trip for the special purpose that he had prevented in shouting her name. She wouldn't be there again. What had made him tell Yuki about it anyway? Why would he want to share this special secret? He could go to see Tohru whenever he liked now, and finally he would not be interrupted by any of his relatives.
But that's wrong, he knew it. He'd told Yuki for the same reason he'd reached out for assistance from Hatori. Tohru loved them all. She didn't just miss him, and he knew that too. He had seen Tohru and Yuki together so often, and knew too that Yuki's softness had a more calming feel to it than his awkward attempts at comfort. Tohru needed help, and she would most likely need it from everyone. Besides, Yuki always knew just what to say. If he found her, he could bring her back to herself faster and easier than Kyo could. Kyo, who never knew what to say, or when he did know what to say never could say it the way he meant. Tohru usually got confused when he tried to talk to her, but she always had a soft smile for Yuki. He could draw out her courage and her drive to improve herself. Yuki could save her, if he found her. And that was the most important thing.
Kyo got up, fury driving out any thoughts he had of rest. Why did it have to be like this? What was he thinking? What was he thinking; Yuki could have all the answers? It was because of Yuki that they were all like this anyway. Obviously, the damn rat had no idea what he was doing. What if he did find her and ran away with her again? Kyo would never see her.
Who cares? He thought viciously. He always knew that they were meant for each other in the long run. The princess and Prince Charming. And so what? It wasn't like he could help her, not really. It wasn't like he had anything to offer. Yuki was the rat. Yuki had everything. And Kyo? Well, who cared anyway? He sure as hell didn't.
So long as she was happy.
"It was a little early for a drive, don't you think, Hatori?" Hatori swallowed hard with his back still turned away from the room. He was closing the door just after leaving Kyo. The voice was like an old injury to him now, though sometimes it ached more than others. This was going to be one of those times. When he turned to stand straight, he put every effort into keeping his face the calm mask that his relatives were most used to. Akito was there, as expected, draped in Hatori's office chair, turned around so he could rest his arms and head on the high back. He was wearing a turtleneck today with black slacks. It was what he wore when he knew he would be leaving the Main House. "I'm surprised you didn't invite me to go along."
"Why would I do that? I thought you were still sleeping."
Akito ignored the comment the way he ignored everything that didn't interest him. He stretched his finger back toward the desk, tracing the lines of sunlight that lie there. "What was so important that it would interrupt your work?" Akito's fingers moved from the sunlight over to where Hatori had left his teacup. He moved the tip around the rim in slow circles, the way large cats pace when they are building their energy for the pounce. It made Hatori slightly nervous, more so that he really did have something to hide.
"So what was it?" Akito asked again when Hatori didn't answer. "Where did you go?"
"Kyo stopped by," Hatori said, calmly. "One of his students, a Sohma, hurt their ankle in training this morning. He wanted me to take a look at it."
"Don't lie to me!" Akito moved with characteristic fury, seizing the teacup and throwing it violently at Hatori's chest. The now tepid liquid seeped into the thin fabric of Hatori's button up shirt. "Why do you think I'm stupid, Hatori? Have I not proven to you yet that I pay attention?"
Hatori's pulse had quickened, but he simply started taking off his coat so he could get himself a dry shirt.
"Keep it on, Hatori," Akito said as he relaxed his shoulders. The smile he wore was typical for the times when he knew he was going to get his way even though no one else was going to like it. "We're going to see Kyo."
"Let me get a clean shirt."
"No! You're going to keep it on because while we're driving you're going to tell me what Kyo was really doing here. It should help to remind you to tell the truth."
"What if I did tell you the truth?"
"Stop it. Don't talk to me like a child, Hatori. I know that Kyo's been in Hinoi for the past few days, and I know what else is in Hinoi too. It's too early for him to be doing any training, and you weren't gone long enough to have made it all the way to the dojo and back. Now get your keys. I have some questions I want to ask him, and I want to do it in person."
"All right," Hatori said, hoping he didn't sound patronizing. "I'm sorry, Akito-sama. I'll tell you the truth. What if we sat down here, calmly, and I told you everything? Then if you still felt the need to drive, then we would go."
Akito looked suspicious, his features settling into the familiar paranoid expression he wore when he expected insubordination from his family members. Hatori let him figure it out for a moment, stooping to pick up the unbroken teacup and setting it back into its place on his desk. He knew he had the upper hand, if only for the time being, and so he moved even farther away from the head of house and stripped off his wet shirt to exchange it.
"What is there to tell, Hatori?" Akito asked, his voice once again calm and liquid. Hatori smiled to himself on the inside, but kept his face slightly disappointed, as if he were upset at being found out. It pleased Akito; he could tell. So would the story he was going to feed him, and it calmed a piece of him to know that most of it was indeed true. The other part, the things he had every intention of lying about, made him pleased with himself too, because even though Kyo had accused him so harshly, he did want to protect Tohru.
"You're right. Kyo had business in Hinoi. There is going to be a dojo tournament there in a few weeks and he was meeting with the sensei to figure out the particulars."
"And?" Akito was looking suspicious again, but Hatori already knew he would. He would have to tell him at least a little if he were going to keep him here and not running after Tohru.
"And he found Tohru." Akito stood up so abruptly from the desk that Hatori was glad his teacup had already been emptied. "Calmly?" Hatori reminded him, relishing these moments when he was secretly in charge. "Nothing happened. He said she's cut her hair and lives alone. She remembers nothing. He saw her on a bridge."
"And he didn't speak to her?"
"He did. He offered to walk her home. She didn't know him, though he asked questions. It seems you've succeeded in your plans."
"But you said he will be there often in the next few weeks. What if he sees her again?"
"I've cautioned him against it."
"That means nothing. He's the cat. He doesn't follow orders just because they are given. And what about Yuki?"
"What about him?"
"He will know about this too. He will go to her if he can, because I have not accomplished my plans as you say. I thought that removing her from their lives forever would bring him back to me."
"He still has time. He wouldn't actually need to be with you until -"
"It's his place," Akito snarled. "And yours. You don't understand, but it doesn't matter provided she stays out of it. I need to make sure that they don't see her again. I want you to ensure it."
"How?"
"Move her. Kyo walked her home, so he knows where she lives. She'll have to be moved."
"But where? She has another life now. I gave her a new name, a job, a place –"
"She shouldn't have a place. I think you should bring her here." Akito's eyes were unfocused now as he was looking into the future where everything would work out his way.
"Akito, no," Hatori protested, shaking his head and not looking at his head of house. Things were not turning out the way he expected.
"What do you mean, no? You don't say no to me."
"It's a difficult thing to change a person's memory, especially hers. If I were to bring her here and have her remember things, it would be impossible to make her forget again."
"Then we have two choices," Akito's voice was soft. "Either you hide her convincingly enough that she doesn't remember, or we can simply make it so that it wouldn't matter what she knew." The insinuation drenched Hatori in cold. He certainly couldn't mean that.
"We've never done that before. You can't."
"Then make it so I don't have to. You didn't want me to go to Kyo, very well. I won't go. But you will go to Hinoi, and I want you to bring her back with you. She keeps getting in the way, and I can't have it."
"I'll talk to Kyo. I'll make sure he understands that he has to leave her alone."
"It's not Kyo I'm worried about!" Akito touched his wrist lightly, not looking at his dragon cousin. "He's already mine. But Yuki. Yuki will go after her. He won't be able to help it. And I will not allow that. Now do as I say, Hatori. I'll talk to you again when it's done."
"But why, Akito?" Hatori knew he was on very thin ice now, but just had to know why he was this passionate about something that mattered so little. There was no indication that Yuki would go after her, that he would even find out. And even if he did, what were the chances of the past repeating itself? "Wouldn't it be better to bring Yuki back here where we could keep an eye on him? That can be easily arranged."
"No," Akito said, his voice soft and far away. Hatori wondered what he was plotting. "You're right. Yuki still has time, and things didn't go as well as I hoped the last time I tried to force him to do something. No," he said again, shaking his head and staring at the empty teacup. "No, this time, Yuki will come to me."
"Akito, what - ?"
"Just do what I say, Hatori. That's all you should do."
With that, Akito stood from Hatori's desk, his shoulders thrown back in his accustomed authoritative manner. He didn't slam the door on his way out, but Hatori knew that it had been a struggle.
He sank into the chair Akito had just left and dropped his face into his hands. He knew he had to obey. All the Juunishi had no choice when it came to Akito. They all owed him their lives. He kept their biggest secret and kept at bay their biggest threat. It couldn't be helped. He would go tonight.
Kyo swore and dropped to the floor in a meditation pose. He just couldn't focus! He'd been trying to follow his morning routine for the past hour, but could not stop his brain racing away from any attempt at concentration. He kept seeing Tohru's unkempt apartment and her little orange cat. He kept hearing Hatori command him to just leave it all alone, and he could not quell the rage at himself for having told that damn rat where he might find Tohru.
His first mistake, he realized now, was leaving Tohru at all. What kind of idiot just abandoned that kind of opportunity? Why had he thought to tell Hatori? What could have made him think that the dragon would do anything to help her? He punched the floor without really realizing. He was so stupid! He'd ruined his chance. Hatori was just going to tell Akito everything that happened.
That thought brought him up short, his practice completely forgotten. What would Akito do if he knew? And what about Yuki? What if he found her? The more Kyo thought about the situation, the clearer his course of action became. What if he - ? He paused momentarily, both apprehensive and excited by the notion he had just come up with. Would it be possible? Did he have enough time? What if?
The cat jumped from the floor, sure now of what he was going to do. Tonight, he thought, as he hurried from the practice floor. I'll go tonight.
