Chapter Two

Jan Di's Point of View

I floated in a dark world. All my senses were muted. Only the sensation I had was the feeling of cold loneliness. Even the burning in my lungs, desperate for air was gone now.

Everything had gone wrong. He was not going to rescue me. The fearless Goo Jun Pyo had forgotten his vow to protect me. He had forgotten it along with everything he had forgotten about me. I did not matter to him anymore.

I had been such a fool!

So desperate to see love for me shining in his eyes again. To feel his strong, loving arms envelope me once again. To watch his full lips whisper "I love you" before he would bend and kiss me until I was senseless. For these, I gave up the last thing I had left to give him.

My life.

In the darkness, I cried for everything I had lost. I had lost everything that had made me who I was. Who I had been, I had sold for the hope, the slightest of possibilities, of gaining that shining love that always seemed just out of reach. If I try harder, I had thought, sacrificed just a little more, then our fated love would be ours.

But I had been the one to do the sacrificing. My pride and self-respect had been taking hit after hit. I had become the damsel in distress time and time again. I did not like who I had become.

What had he lost? He still had his fortune and fame. He still had his three buddies. His empire. His future. With me being gone from his memory, even his heart was not lost to him anymore.

Being bitter and holding a grudge did not suit me either. Jun Pyo had let me go. Even if he was not conscience of his actions due to a medical condition, it had been me he had forgotten. Of all the things that had happened in the last year it was me and only me that was gone.

It was time to let him go but could I?

He was what I had been fighting for. How could I just let him go and with him all the dreams and the hopes I had for our future together? Hopes and dreams had been my succor, casting away doubts and fears that continually haunted me.

Stupid girl, your future is gone now! This is the end. Make your peace.

Pragmatism cut through the tangled grayness that had enclosed my heart. These were my last moments. As a final act of love, I could let Jun Pyo go. He was not mine anymore.

Let him find his peace, his happiness I prayed.

In one instance I felt all the hurt, insecurity, and fear that had permeated our tumultuous relationship radiate pain throughout me.

Then I felt it all leave. I felt broken, empty, but relieved. The healing balm of the sweet and caring part of our love stayed, sealing the cracks left by our petty bitterness.

I felt lighter, unburdened.

Then the darkness began to lighten as in a sunrise. In the dimness I saw a tall figure drifting towards me. With the aurora's glow behind him, I saw the face I had been looking for. Jun Pyo was coming towards me and this was the Jun Pyo I had lost. I could see his love for me in his deep ebony eyes. His smile lit up his face. This was the look that I had been hoping to see.

"Thank you for loving me enough to let me go. I am deeply sorry for all the pain I caused you," I heard him say when he reached me, "I want you to be happy now."

I was bewildered. He was how I dreamed he would be and now he was telling me goodbye. Looking up at his beautiful face, I felt what in life had been a tear slip from my eye.

When I felt his lips touched mine, I felt the rightness in our goodbye fill me. For a moment I lost myself in him, relishing this sensation one last time.

Then it was over.

"Be happy, my sweet Jan Di," he said before he faded into the growing luminescence.

I felt his love in my heart but for the first time there was no pain. Our love was not gone but it enriched me, the feelings of obsession were gone. We were now a precious memory for me.

Everything continued to get lighter and soon I noticed that I had not been as alone as I feared. The golden beauty of Ji Hoo had been the source of the illumination that now surrounded me. His stunning smile was just for me. He had been in the gloom with me. He had been there beside me. I had not been able to see him because of the darkness and the misery I had wrapped myself in my single-minded fixation of Jun Pyo.

Now I wondered how I could have seen anything but my dear Ji Hoo.

Without him even touching me, I could feel his love and warmth radiating throughout my heart, throughout my entire being. Playing as if on screens around him were my memories of him and the times he had shown how much he loved me.

Love that I thought I did not have room for in my heart because of Jun Pyo. I had been wrong. My love for him had always been there and it had grown, filling me completely. It was me that had shrunk my life to only Jun Pyo. Now I had released that myopic world go to step into the universe of Ji Hoo's unwavering love.

In turn, my love for Ji Hoo was larger than anything I had felt for Jun Pyo.

I was in awe. Pure and true love like this did exist. Ji Hoo was my soul mate. I reveled in this knowledge.

But sadness washed over the feelings of elation. I had discovered my true heart's desire too late. My life was over but I felt that I could take this glorious love with me wherever I went. In this bittersweet revelation I felt another tear slip down my cheek. Once again I was face with leaving my love. This time it hurt worse because I had not known what I had until it was too late.

"Come back to me," Ji Hoo said as he reached down to wipe the tear away. He bent his head toward me and I felt his lips on mine, breathing life back into me. His touch was stronger that any sensation I had felt since coming here. I felt it with my whole soul.

"Come back. I love you. Come back to me." He grabbed both my hands in his and I felt him pull me up. Up through the time and space. Back up into my body.

I was cold, wet, and coughs wracked my body but I never felt better.

I was alive!

I took a deep breath in and felt the oxygen flow throughout air starved body. The brightness of the world made me blink but I was searching for the face I knew I would see. I could feel that he was holding me. My precious fireman had saved me once again. My heart was soaring.

Wrapped in his arms with his deep brown eyes looking worriedly into mine I felt I had come home. Although it took all my strength and my body was not completely under my control yet, I forced my arms to wrap around him. With my left arm, I pulled his head down and kissed his surprised lips.

I did not release his lips until I felt him respond. I pulled deep into my newly rediscovered love for him, trying to show him, in that one gesture, that I was not wasting anymore time. I only stopped kissing him because my body needed air.

I knew now how precious time was. I was not going to waste anymore of it.

My strength was sapped however so with the last bit I had left, I looked into his eyes so he would know it was him I was I was speaking to.

"I love you, Ji Hoo," I said to his surprised face as I felt my weariness drag me down into unconsciousness.

yukie-senpai – sorry to have scared to have scared you. As you can tell she is not dead but I thought that the only way she could get over her love for Jun Pyo is for her and it to have died in that pool. (Even if it was a Buffy-esque first death.) I hope you continue reading.

Tiamatnerwen – Thank you for being for being my first reviewer! It was so sweet! Yes, at some point they will go to his house for comforting but even I will have to wait for that.